Harry and Meghan -- Why I dislike them BOTH

[PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog]

I keep seeing threads that say everyone who dislikes the Sussexs is based on some form of racism and I wanted to put my view across. I will set the parameters of my points:

1. Meghan absolutely did receive racist coverage from sections of the British media.

1. I believe that there were threats to their safety by far right loons.
2. I believe they were both unhappy as working members of the RF

However...

I still find them both very disingenuous. They highlight and speak up against the racism of others, whilst failing to address Harry's previous and documented racist behaviour. As a Jew I cannot understand how Meghan can just remain silent about her husbands former mistakes. This makes her seem untrustworthy to me and seems like she will put up with anything for money and cache, whilst arguing (rightly) that racism is totally unacceptable. He keeps saying others need to learn and he is right, but he should acknowledge that he too needed to learn, acknowledge the support needed to help others learn and offer that support to others (including his own family, if needed).

Their attitude towards the public also seems 'off' and ungrateful to me and they seem to collocate the press and the public as the same thing. There is a lot of footage of the public support for them before, during and after their wedding. Yet, apparently, they did not want the big public wedding and the 'UK' was racist towards them. Harry particularly understands the 'deal' between the monarchy and the public and ought to have explained this to Meghan, the comments re the wedding on Oprah came across as quite spiteful and tone deaf. Almost like, 'we suffered through the big wedding for the plebs.' Ditto all the strange behaviour around Archie's birth. They could have followed the Tindall's approach if they wanted to avoid press intrusion.

During financial pressures around the world they are still complaining and not acknowledging their wealth and privilege, whilst claiming to give voice to the needs of those living in poverty and suffering. The Africa interview was a prime example for both of them. It just all comes together to make them feel untrustworthy to me, and makes me dislike them. I do not wish them any ill, but I wish they would acknowledge their fortune and live private, useful lives.

Princess Anne and Edward seem to have lived fulfilled lives.

agreed. Anne in particular seems to have got it 'right'

as a pp noted, Edward and Sophie made some, erm, let's call them 'mis-steps' (fake sheikh etc), but seem to be doing a reasonable job these days. my only hope for Sophie is that she gets some better tiaras with Charles in charge of the jewel vault. she very much gets the shitty end of the stick in that department.

@BernardBlacksMolluscs There's a lot of truth in that but I think the difficulty is in separating the two. Thing is a lot of vitriol is because she's half black, not in-spite of it. Some of the rhetoric around her being 'ungrateful' or 'uppity' are straight out of the anti-black woman handbook. Rings alarms for those of us who recognise that sort of language. There was a lot of 'I just don't like her but I can't put my finger on exactly why'. I personally just completely stopped going on threads about them/the royals because it was really taking away from my typical mumsnet browsing for mindless chatter and the like.

You said : could we give the imaginary racism accusations a rest? - you are in denial but then you wouldn't be this way if you were self aware.

A quick name search throws up your thread on large members of certain culture male refugees arriving in Germany....... So I guess that tell me all I need to.

yes, I don't enjoy people trying to close down conversations with imaginary accusations. this may upset you. I suggest that's a you problem

I completely agree with this. The thing that really brought this home to me was the treatment Kemi Badenoch got. Lots of people found her 'terrifying' but just couldn't articulate why she was more terrifying than any other hardline right winger.

I totally accept that we're predisposed as a society to react negatively to outspoken people who are also black, and I think black women get it more than black men

I still reserve the right to gossip idly about someone who is making a public twerp of themselves though!

Sorry, but how is it 'straight out of the anti-black woman handbook' to highlight how ungrateful Meghan was for her privileged life in the royal family, when she moaned in one of the poorest places that 'nobody asked her if she was OK' on the day that she had visited the site of a young woman's murder and a class teaching self-defence? Whilst MM spent most of her time in RF wearing couture, taking amazing trips and living in a mansion. I'd say that's a spectacular lack of gratitude and nothing to do with race!

all the gossip is fantastic for Netflix. They want us to gossip, that’s the point of the trailer after all. It’ll mean more people watch.
and presumably m and h want as many people to watch as possible or why make the whole thing at all so they must be happy with the gossip both positive and negative.
there is only one thing worse than being talked about and that is not being talked about at all.

What do we think Harry actually wants? I firmly believe that he thought he would be able, with Meghan, to leave the RF duties, and live a quiet but still very privileged life in Botswana (which was mooted) or even Canada, where they lodged temporarily.

i just can’t understand it. I can well see how you might think your family is a pain, even having to side with your spouse against them, but all the books/documentaries/etc, why would he be a party to all this? Now, Meghan has reason. What does she care for in-laws, another country, boring duty. It’s all just a good lucrative story to her. But I just think if my ds did this I would be convinced someone is pulling the strings. And not just Meghan. He looks entitled and hypocritical and is being encouraged down this road as if someone’s greasing the rails of a runaway train.

What do we think Harry actually wants?

I don't think he knows.

She's a better woman than me! I'd have made a show of cleaning my Ferrari with £50 notes and champagne infront of a foodbank.

Also, what’s with the anti-Kate stuff? Harry used to be great friends and close with her. If nothing else, why is he permitting the vitriol ? I suppose if rumours are to be believed she was not enamoured of Meghan and was a bit frosty, but my sil is similar and although I have found her rude and hurtful i wouldn’t wage a campaign and certainly Dh wouldn’t throw fuel on the fire.

@VladmirsPoutine I can believe you would, if it would allow you to twist the conversation around MM

I don’t hate them, it’s their behaviour and actions that I am finding inexcusable, increasingly spiteful and distasteful. They’re avaricious and desperately attention seeking; hopefully it will backfire at some point soon and they’ll disappear from sight 🤞🏻

I don’t think it’s in any doubt Meghan suffered racist abuses I also don’t think it’s in any doubt that she also got a lot of support. It isn’t one or the other. They aren’t mutually exclusive.

and as pp said that doesn’t mean bith her and harry haven’t behaved badly . In my view what’s happening now is abusive to the royal family. The royals are still people. Humans at the end of the day.

I honestly don’t believe if Meghan was white, this story would be any different right now, We would still be exactly where we are now. Because just like Kate or camilla, Sarah, Diana, Charles, Christ some folks even trolled and hurled abuse at the queen, there was always going to be abuse from some low life’s in society. And for any reason they could find.

I mean hang around here, you see abusers on here all the time. People posting and hurling abuse at other posters or the people who are subject of their threads. It’s what some people do. They are simply abusive.

I honestly think Harry was in love with Kate, not that he wanted an affair with her, but that he wanted the family that William had with her. He grabbed at the first chance of that with MM and I think MM could tell and felt insecure with his regard for Kate and so painted Kate as the 'baddy' and he's so desperate to keep the relationship that he has made himself believe it.

I honestly think Harry was in love with Kate, not that he wanted an affair with her, but that he wanted the family that William had with her. He grabbed at the first chance of that with MM and I think MM could tell and felt insecure with his regard for Kate and so painted Kate as the 'baddy' and he's so desperate to keep the relationship that he has made himself believe it.

Very well put.

oooh, I love this theory!

Megan & Harry are complete narcissists, the Oprah interview really showed how delusional they are. Harry is a wet blanket and Megan lost me when she wrote "your brave" on a banana for sex workers 🤣

Just playing devils advocate, how would a white British person be received if they were married into royalty in countries such as Serbia, Qatar?

and to be fair, she ain't the only member of the RF to be totally out of touch

Prince Phillip: you don't need to be rich to play polo, you just need a couple of ponies

I think we have all seen a situation where an incoming, insecure, heightened kind of girlfriend takes issue with the affectionate long term relationships between their boyfriend and female friends in an already established group. The problems that causes can be shattering. I really think it's as simple as that. Then imagine having to always defer to one of those women, to never be able to change the status quo. I'm not a fan of Meghan but I couldn't do it.

That’s very astute, I think one thing missing, which is I think Kate enjoyed the attention of both men, she liked it being the three of them. I think she was likely never going to accept spmeone like Meghan, another attention seeker, an arguably a famous woman, taking some of that attention off her.

i actually think Kate Is also an attention seeker, who plays a role in public, and can be manipulative. She didn’t want to share the limelight. So neither woman was ever going to warm to the other. And that’s why something as petty as kids wearing tights has turned into all out war. Any excuse.

kate didn’t want to share the attention of both men, Meghan felt insecure and envious of Kate’s position and popularity

Did Kate ever fall out with Chelsea or Cressida though?

@Sparklypant You're right. I don't think either is a woman's woman.

@WidowTwanki We can't compare, they were only short term girlfriends.