Member of Household resigns

[myrtleWilson]

Awful story just broken on twitter about horrendous racist questioning from Lady Hussey to Ngozi Fulani from Sister Space at yesterdays VAWG event.

Lady Hussey has resigned.

[Edited by MNHQ to correct typo at OP's request]

Perhaps she WAS briefed and that is why she was asking the questions.
The charity is set up for "SUPPORTING AFRICAN & CARIBBEAN
HERITAGE WOMEN AFFECTED BY DOMESTIC & SEXUAL ABUSE"
www.sistahspace.org

And if you want to work for them you are asked for your ethnic background:
docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSevrTIK7iwOX2M7VRxVz49Pxpv6JpeMeZPqE9V0C-R7-eXaCg/viewform

The introduction on Ngozi Fulani's website reads:
"My parent’s came to London from the Caribbean and most of their children were born here." futurehackney.com/ngozi
And her clothing at the event indicates this heritage so it would seem quite reasonable to ask about it.

Well that makes it worse.

If SH WAS briefed, then why ask where shevwas from?
If you already know the answer and have been briefed the charity is for African and Caribbean Heritage women, why would you then keep asking questions about someone's Heritage?

What is so exotic about her clothes? It’s a dress with a bolero top.

You’re just looking for excuses to other her and blame her.

It is not African dress of any country. She has a brown jumper on and a leopard print dress.

Racism doesn't need to be deliberate, unconscious bias is still racist.

And this is one of the elements of systemic or structural racism. And it is very difficult to address, in large part because so many people are resistant to a deeper examination of their attitudes and beliefs that may support systemic racism. Many of the comments on this thread are very illustrative of this resistance.

The incident made the ABC national news tonight in the US. The headline was that William and Kate arrived in Boston against the backdrop of a racism scandal in a Buckingham Palace, which was then described, cutting to some blurb about Earthshot.

Brand UK isn't looking good.

Rather than taking a pop at me, can you please be a bit more understanding and help me.

You’ve been provided with links to multiple helpful resources. Have you read them?

Was it ‘fair’ for Ngozi to be subjected to an interrogation that she didn’t want and to which she never consented?

Would it have killed Lady Susan to think ‘this person clearly doesn’t want to talk about this, I’ll respect that and move on?’ No? Then why aren’t you suggesting that, as opposed to suggesting a Black woman smooth over the situation and placate a racist?

I am not the slightest bit surprised at this if Lady Susan Hussey's son is anything to go by.

I have met him more than once. He's patronising, rude and condescending. No idea if he's racist but I would imagine so, given the sort of man he is.

@Willmafrockfit I sincerely hope you’re referring to Ngozi Fulani the founder of the charity Sistah Space.

If you can please tell us more about the gent in question!

It looks like this is going to overshadow the Earthshot events. John Kerry didn't pitch, nor did Caroline Kennedy

@Willmafrockfit When you’re so accustomed to people asking “Where are you from?” When they really want to know about your heritage, naturally you’d also presume that that is what you are being asked.

When I was a child, I was always taught that it was rude to ask direct questions like, “Where are you from?” It would be more polite to ask ”Where do you live?” Or “Did you come far?” Because there has to be a two-way conversation when asking a POC “Where are you from?” As it can easily be taken as “Where do you come from?” Ergo meaning that you’re not from here so you must be different etc. And it was the height of bad manners to ask someone “Where are you really from?” It implies that you do not believe that they can be British and so you could unintentionally offend someone and be racist etc.

I can't say anymore for privacy reasons but he is no gentleman. Very patronising and rude. I do remember writing to him and saying that he may well have impeccable family credentials (see below,) but his manners left a lot to be desired!!! (father was Marmaduke Hussey Chairman of BBC, mother Lady in Waiting to the Queen)

I do feel a bit sorry for W&K as it is going to overshadow their US visit.
But when people such as SH are in post for more than 60 years it's just not surprising. The RF, the advisors, the aides, the lady in waiting type posts of which there are hundreds need a massive overhaul
The archaic institution is stuck in the 50s and 60s and this sort of thing is going to happen again and again if they don't modernise, refresh and bring in some forward thinking people

Absolutely agree.

@Snoozer11 So if a POC was to be invited to a charity event at Buckingham Palace where they’d naturally be there to represent their charity and Ngozi Fulani’s case, a charity she founded, it would be presumptuous to expect people there on behalf of the royal family to show more tact? That that the person who was clearly dear to the late Queen so much so that she’s clearly one of William’s godmothers which would indicate her closeness to the royal family and somehow shockingly this privileged person, who some posters are constantly at pains to point out is in her 80s, acted distastefully? That she was soooo tactless that she could not pick up that that Ngozi Fulani wanted to focus on her charity as that is exactly why she was there for?

And now some posters are even questioning her trauma, saying she should have remained silent and not gone on Twitter, that she was being passive aggressive or even condoning the Lady Hussey’s behaviour based on what Ngozi Fulani was wearing? And that very person didn’t think twice to move Ngozi Fulani’s hair out of the way to look at her name badge? How tactless does a person have to be until it verges on racism? Or are we going to become ageist all of a sudden and say that Lady Hussey was of a different generation and excuse her behaviour?

Of course this is groundbreaking.

The fact you can’t see that is even more shocking. Intruding on someone’s personal space and constantly questioning someone about their heritage when they’re not welcoming that conversation, undermining and invalidating a person’s personal experience of racial prejudices, stereotypes and micro-aggressions is at best tactless and at worse, racist.

It really is eye-opening and I hope this thread remains open.

Going back to my archaic institution post above....Camilla has appointed six new Ladies in Waiting to assist her. Now called Lady Companions.
Here they are below. Not one person who isn't titled and more 'ordinary'. Honestly we're stuck in the last century

They are her close friends Sarah Troughton, Jane von Westenholz and Fiona, the Marchioness of Lansdowne, Lady Katharine Brooke, Baroness Carlyn Chisholm and Lady Sarah Keswick.

Well well well. And this was one of the women assigned to help Meghan settle into royal life. She apparently also said H&Ms marriage would end in tears 😐

@Roussette What does that role require exactly? I think in the past a lady-in-waiting or court lady was some sort of companion or female personal assistant at a court? As far as I can recall, a lady-in-waiting was usually a noblewoman but of lower rank than the woman to whom she attended. If that is the case, I’m not surprised Camilla chose her close friends as her confidantes. I wouldn’t be expect Camilla to diversify the role, but the role itself sounds outdated.

Hussey’s mask slipped because she thought it was safe to allow it to slip.

She must have thought there was no way a black woman from Hackney working with a DV charity is going to challenge me.

Yes, someone to assist her in her duties type thing I think!

I've always thought, also, that it's wisest for the Royal Family to stick with their core role of thanking volunteers who have served their communities. In that way, the selection of individuals and all of the research is done by experienced civil servants and careful preparation is made. The Royals are briefed on what they need to do, rather than being given 'creative directorship', as I would call it, of a stage play to show case worthy ( and cool credential) causes.

It isn't right, for me, that the 'companions' didn't know who the guests were and didn't have background information to prompt their small talk questions and to develop an aim for the meeting. But royals having favourite causes and pushing ahead with championing them does risk the integrity of the degree of preparation which can be managed. And this event at the beginning of King Charles' reign, and when Camilla is getting used to the ropes as the top female Royal with full hosting responsibilities.

The failings does highlight how the Queen was a consummate professional in the way she herself performed her role, but then she didn't overstretch the role by making it diverge into championing individual causes.

This might have been a reception, but with such a serious and important good cause at its heart, it is going to have a serious theme and tone. It isn't quite the occasion for, doddery 'ladies in waiting' ( as companions used to be called) going around inventing their own line of questioning. Care and prepared questions would have been better.

Ngozi Fulani has highlighted an important area of DV: that black families fear reporting a black male member, in case he experienced police brutality. Whether or not things have improved since the times that Ms Fulani harks back to in her addresses, it is a valid point, that black women may fear this, and it will make them vulnerable. Some people may never have thought of this angle, without her campaigning. ( I wouldn't have done).I would like and do feel confident that policing is more enlightened in 2022.

This isn't really an event for excusing a dodderer, and with Ms Fulani's negative life experiences and impressions, which she has turned all to something positive, to help others, I wouldn't expect her to be ready to laugh and thinks she is like an audience member at a live comedy show, who gets roped in to be bantered and harangued by the comedian on stage, in the name of good fun. It might look like a history set piece, this event, in a unique setting, but the cause itself is too important for humour and humouring.

@Squeezita do explain. I was just giving examples from my own work/family.

@RishisProudMum I did say “I think the questioning wasn’t ok. Lady Susan should have read the signals and backed off.“

Of course she shouldn’t have questioned her the way she did. Maybe she shouldn’t have been there in the first place.

Thank you @MrsMaxDeWinter. For nailing it with every single one of your posts and for calling out those posters who we all know and have seen countless times on other threads doing the same thing they always do. One particular poster on here made me laugh at their faux naivety when only days ago they were espousing pretty revolting views on the England footballers taking the knee thread that got deleted. So it’s not just MM they take issue with. I wonder why that could be?

I’m a British born non white person. And yet for pretty much my 50 plus years on this planet, I’ve been asked ‘yes, but where are you REALLY from’ on more occasions than I can remember. Always by white British people. For any doubters that line of questioning is offensive and racist.

I have had to use a shortened version of my name for the best part of 30 years because white British people thought my full name was funny and mocked me for it. It is now three letters. Just three letters. And people still get it wrong,

Most of the time I grit my teeth at the ignorance. But one time in my work I was interviewing a pretty senior person who when I introduced myself asked me the dreaded question. I told him where I lived (major city in England). And they persisted and said ‘but where are you really from?’. So I said, ‘ah yes my (midlands) accent gives it away, I’m originally from (a city about 100 miles from where I live) which is where I was born’. His face started to get red as he became more flustered and he snapped at me ‘you know exactly what I’m trying fo say - where did your parents come from. Why are you people so difficult?’
Sadly my boss entered the conversation at this point and I couldn’t come back with a pithy reply but that man HATED me for the rest of that interview. Couldn’t even look at me. As disgusting as that was, still makes me chuckle when I think of his blustery red face and he knew, just knew, I’d exposed him for what he was.

@Diverseopinions That’s a good point. Why was Lady Hussey at a charity event/reception in the first place? It doesn’t sound like she’s experienced in making small talk or was well-prepared in meeting and greeting a variety of guests. I mean it’s not difficult to ask “And what do you do?” Or “Have you come far?” Or even “How far have you traveled?” But it have been simpler to focus on the very first question, especially as it’s at a charity event, and ask a follow-up question based on the answer. I can only hope that it was a faux-pas but the transcript clearly shows that there were repeated questions which is extremely bad mannered and rude to a guest of any caliber.