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The royal family

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Member of Household resigns

1000 replies

myrtleWilson · 30/11/2022 12:42

Awful story just broken on twitter about horrendous racist questioning from Lady Hussey to Ngozi Fulani from Sister Space at yesterdays VAWG event.

Lady Hussey has resigned.

[Edited by MNHQ to correct typo at OP's request]

OP posts:
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Justasec321 · 30/11/2022 22:13

MsBucket · 30/11/2022 17:31

Just to be clear @Justasec321, you’re saying Lady Hussey’s line questioning was not offensive? And @hattie43 you believe that you believe it was all an overreaction and that you disagree with the “demonisation of an old lady”? So it’s ok accost someone at a charity event or anywhere in particular and ask them “Where are you from?” And if they say that they’re British, ask “No really, where are you really from?” As though you don’t believe that they can be British? Or move someone’s hair to check their name badge? None of that is offensive to you? And people saying that this is racist, is demonisation of a sweet old lady who thought nothing of accosting a WOC in a charity event and question them more than once instead of ask about their line of work or charity? That’s all ok to you?

No Mrs. Bucket - I think it is very offensive indeed.

I am sure she did not set out to be offensive which exposes the underbelly of racisim, classisim and so on - in my opinion.

She was, in her mind, right to question!

Also to those saying it is generational thing - CORRECT.

We are unpicking the damage caused by previous generations and their racisim.

Tonkerbea · 30/11/2022 22:20

Ngozi could have smoothed over the questioning,I'm sure she knew the inference being made, but why should she have to? There comes a point when you get tired of having to assimilate and pander to fit in, and you start calling out racist bullsh** for what it is.

itsnotmeitisactuallyyou · 30/11/2022 22:24

Exactly,she could have but why should she have to kow tow to what she thought Hussey might have meant and then answered in a way to make Hussey feel better about her method of questioning,and why touch her hair?

CPL593H · 30/11/2022 22:26

GreensForMe · 30/11/2022 18:06

Susan has been a lady in waiting for over 60 years. Entrenched loyalties.

Camilla appointed Susan's daughter as well as Duchess of Kent’s former lady-in-waiting as her new companions. IIRC, it was the Duchess of Kent who wore a racist brooch when meeting Meghan but I could be mistaken.

No, the Duchess of Kent is a seemingly very nice lady who used to present trophies at Wimbledon and gave up royal duties to work as a music teacher in a primary school in Hull under the name "Mrs Kent".

Princess Michael of Kent wore the brooch. 2 different women married to 2 brothers. Camilla's new appointee was lady in waiting to the former.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 30/11/2022 22:28

If someone says they were born here and are British, I’d leave it there. But, as other posters have said, it might not have killed Ngozi to think “this is an elderly lady, I know what she’s asking and she’s probably just trying to make conversation” and said “I’m British born and raised but my parents were from the Caribbean. Did my outfit give it away! Can I tell you about my charity?”

Ngozi isn't a fool. She wouldn't be in the position she holds if she were. She's an intelligent, articulate woman, and you can do her the credit of assuming she knew precisely what Susan Hussey meant. And if that tweet was a verbatim transcription of the interaction between the two of them, any reader with half a clue can pick up that meaning too.

It's great that people are seeing fit to advise black people how they - who have to suffer this tedious, everlasting shit on a more-or-less daily basis - should handle it so as to cause minimum distress and inconvenience to the privileged white woman deliberately trying to cause her distress, and to put her back in her box as an 'other' who didn't share her position of privilege (as if she needed reminding). And all this on superficial acquaintance and for no other reason than the colour of her skin.

Ngozi dealt with the situation with grace, which is more than can be said for the professed 'Lady'. SHE shamed herself; nobody else.

@MrsMaxDeWinter - I'm not a regular on the Royal Boards and only tend to post on these threads when they trend, or when a major story surrounding them comes up. I've been a staunch republican for most of my life and wouldn't go out of my way to support a single one of them, or follow what they're doing on any kind of a regular basis. But I do find the constant singling out of Markle - fueled by a hideous, bullying right-wing media with a grudge - really distasteful and the board politics you describe don't sound much like my idea of fun.

To deny the racism at the root of that institution is what's commonly called persistence in the face of all evidence to the contrary; in other words sticking your fingers in your ears and going 'la, la, la'.

The comment upthread that the monarchy is adept at adapting: I have to say I respectfully disagree. They look more out of place and ridiculously anachronistic with every day that passes. There are few other institutions - and none so visible - which more backward, out of date, and irrelevant than Brand Windsor.

As to the palace offering Ngozi her the role of one of the companions, with their track record I know exactly where, were I in her shoes, I'd tell them to ram it ...

YumSushi · 30/11/2022 22:32

If someone says they were born here and are British, I’d leave it there. But, as other posters have said, it might not have killed Ngozi to think “this is an elderly lady, I know what she’s asking and she’s probably just trying to make conversation” and said “I’m British born and raised but my parents were from the Caribbean. Did my outfit give it away! Can I tell you about my charity?” that's it appease the racist.......

Jeez

AnnunciataZ · 30/11/2022 22:42

👏🏻 👏🏻 @MrsMaxDeWinter

F4chrissakes · 30/11/2022 22:44

MrsMaxdeWinter and TooBigForMyBoots - I have pointed out down thread that i am white and was brought up in a era of worse racism than even today. Given that background, I do of course understand overt racism, but I do struggle to understand the nuances. I am NOT a racist. For crying out loud, in the recent past, in order not to cause offence I have even, when asked to describe a person, not referred to their colour. When as the only person of colour amongst an overwhelmingly white group, this was indeed their most identifying feature. Rather than taking a pop at me, can you please be a bit more understanding and help me.

onlylarkin · 30/11/2022 22:50

I wonder if the Ripple of Hope awards will be televised?

antelopevalley · 30/11/2022 22:52

It was clearly racist.
But if you really do not see the racism surely you would at least recognise the extreme rudeness.

ClaudineClare · 30/11/2022 22:54

Just been listening to LBC while tidying the kitchen. I think some of the people on this thread are calling in...

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 30/11/2022 22:57

ClaudineClare · 30/11/2022 22:54

Just been listening to LBC while tidying the kitchen. I think some of the people on this thread are calling in...

Holy schmoley.

Turning in seems like a great option at this juncture ...

ilovesooty · 30/11/2022 22:58

fallfallfall · 30/11/2022 16:37

@RishisProudMum NF comes across as a perpetually insulted snowflake.
there is nothing wrong with the interaction given the age and stage of the person involved.

That's a disgusting comment.

MrsMaxDeWinter · 30/11/2022 23:02

YumSushi · 30/11/2022 22:32

If someone says they were born here and are British, I’d leave it there. But, as other posters have said, it might not have killed Ngozi to think “this is an elderly lady, I know what she’s asking and she’s probably just trying to make conversation” and said “I’m British born and raised but my parents were from the Caribbean. Did my outfit give it away! Can I tell you about my charity?” that's it appease the racist.......

Jeez

Extraordinary how many people on this thread believe that it was the responsibility of the uncomfortably treated black woman to appease the arrogance of the racist white woman.

Shocking.

Especially as Susan Hussey reached out to touch Ngozi Fulani's hair to read her name badge. Whatever happened to normal introductions? Why do people here believe it is acceptable to touch a black woman's hair without permission?

This is a sensitive issue for me because my child, educated in a UK school, once asked me to cut their hair because they were tired of white children always touching it. I took it up with the school, because my child is not a pet, and deserves as much dignity and personal space as any other child.

And what exactly is it about her "outfit" that "gave it away" @YumSushi ?

I am from an African country, and have travelled extensively on my continent. Ngozi Fulani was NOT wearing national dress from any country on the continent. Nor was she wearing anything ethnic, as someone above said, a spectacularly stupid term used by ignoramuses who don't seem to know that it is short for ethnic minority in the same way white people in the UK are the ethnic majority. Everyone is ethnic something or other!

Ngozi wore a long dress, with a skirt made from leopard print fabric.

Leopard print fabric is worn by people from all continents. It is not associated only with Africa, From the pictures, she also wore a necklace made of white cowrie shells, which could as easily be from the Maldives as from South American country.

Or do you think it was a necklace of bones or something?

Her sparkly headpiece was not different from other headpieces Susan Hussey would be familiar with.

So what, pray tell, was it about this "outfit" that gave "it" away, whatever it is?

MrsMaxDeWinter · 30/11/2022 23:05

@YumSushi just to clarify, I was quoting the quote you quoted. Not you! I agree with you 100 per cent!

Lentilweaver · 30/11/2022 23:14

On Twitter people are asking why Ngozi Fulani's parents didn't name her something "more British" so Susan Hussey could have recognised her as such.

Admittedly Twitter is full of absolute racists, but I can't be the only POC who has been told that my 3 syllable name- shorter than say Elizabeth - is too difficult for anyone to remember. Or asked if people can just call me "Kay." No, you bloody well can't!

Sometimes you just get sick of it all, and I imagine that Ngozi is at that point.

MrsMaxDeWinter · 30/11/2022 23:17

F4chrissakes · 30/11/2022 22:44

MrsMaxdeWinter and TooBigForMyBoots - I have pointed out down thread that i am white and was brought up in a era of worse racism than even today. Given that background, I do of course understand overt racism, but I do struggle to understand the nuances. I am NOT a racist. For crying out loud, in the recent past, in order not to cause offence I have even, when asked to describe a person, not referred to their colour. When as the only person of colour amongst an overwhelmingly white group, this was indeed their most identifying feature. Rather than taking a pop at me, can you please be a bit more understanding and help me.

Happy to help.

Firstly, please stop saying you "don't see colour". Because it is not true, especially as you have admitted that you have seen that someone is of a different race, but you didn't want to mention it for fear of offending, Of course you "see colour". We all do. So when you say that, it makes people roll their eyes because it is an irritating cliche. Especially if you tell this to black people because it suggests that you are gaslighting people about their experiences of living in a world that does see race and uses it to discriminate, and to hate.

Secondly, don't say "black, white or green" because you are suggesting that black people are the equivalent to green people, whatever those are. No human is green.

Thirdly if you have time, read the short links I provided in my response to you.

If my interventions have made you take just a step back, and read a couple of short articles that explain why the "don't see colour" attitude is so damaging, then I am very glad we exchanged views.

Thanks for listening, and sleep well.

Squeezita · 30/11/2022 23:20

user55875537986543 · 30/11/2022 22:02

My cousins were born and raised in Kenya. As was their father and their grandparents. Most Kenyans do not recognise them as Kenyan (they have always lived there).

I think the questioning wasn’t ok. Lady Susan should have read the signals and backed off.

However. I have been to many events like this (masses of people from all over the place joined by a common thread) and if people are wearing clothes that are obviously from another country, I too would ask where their heritage was from - regardless of skin colour. I don’t say “where are you from” especially if their accent is obviously British. I ask if they were born in London (meetings generally here in London!) and see what they say. But if someone is wearing a kimono (for example) I might say, “I love what you’re wearing. Do you have Japanese heritage?” And I really wouldn’t expect anyone to be offended (and they don’t seem to be and are happy to talk about what they’re wearing!)

The point is that if you attend a function wearing what might be considered national dress from somewhere else, it will be something that people might ask about to make conversation.

my children are mixed race and don’t have a British surname. They were born here, as was their father (and me!). I don’t find it offensive at all when people ask where their surname is from. I say “their dad was born here but his parents came to the UK in the 60’s from xxxx.” I honestly never take it as racist in any way, but more interest.

I am really fascinated by heritage and where people are from ethnically. Lots of other people must be too because an awful lot of those testing kits are sold. I have a friend with a child who has 4 grandparents from different countries/continents and I sometimes go through it in my head because it fascinates me. I am (as far as I know) English through and through and a bit of heritage from somewhere else seems so much more interesting to me.

Im also mindful of people who are white born and raised in china and Japan and they are absolutely not accepted as being Chinese or Japanese by the people they live alongside.

I understand why people are upset but I also feel that it wasn’t fair for an 83 year olds name to be made public.

If someone says they were born here and are British, I’d leave it there. But, as other posters have said, it might not have killed Ngozi to think “this is an elderly lady, I know what she’s asking and she’s probably just trying to make conversation” and said “I’m British born and raised but my parents were from the Caribbean. Did my outfit give it away! Can I tell you about my charity?”

I read this is the voice of Dolores Umbridge for some reason. I think because there is this sickly sweet tone of voice and words disguising an undercurrent of ickiness.

I’m not sure if you realise just how awful your questions and reasoning are. <shudder>

Pidgeonslipshit · 30/11/2022 23:21

Am late to this thread but I am now wondering if I overstepped the mark with a colleague. Absolutely lovely lady who speaks fluent Spanish. I did ask her where her family originates from and she was very happy to educate me about her homeland Equatorial Guinea . I was absolutely fascinated and she definitely wasn’t offended by me chatting to her .

Rummikub · 30/11/2022 23:22

Lentilweaver · 30/11/2022 23:14

On Twitter people are asking why Ngozi Fulani's parents didn't name her something "more British" so Susan Hussey could have recognised her as such.

Admittedly Twitter is full of absolute racists, but I can't be the only POC who has been told that my 3 syllable name- shorter than say Elizabeth - is too difficult for anyone to remember. Or asked if people can just call me "Kay." No, you bloody well can't!

Sometimes you just get sick of it all, and I imagine that Ngozi is at that point.

I’ve had this too. Since starting school. “I’ll just call you ..”

I cheer when someone makes a good attempt at my name.

Outrageous some in Twitter are asking that.

boobybum · 30/11/2022 23:22

@user55875537986543
…”my children are mixed race and don’t have a British surname. They were born here, as was their father (and me!). I don’t find it offensive at all when people ask where their surname is from. I say “their dad was born here but his parents came to the UK in the 60’s from xxxx.” I honestly never take it as racist in any way, but more interest.”

You don’t find it offensive. Your children may not feel the same way.

GoingtotheWinchester · 30/11/2022 23:23

Bloody hell. Wanted to see if there was a thread on this story and have realised it’s in the RF section so of course the “ooh aren’t the royal family lovely and ever so accommodating having these foreign people to tea” brigade are out in force 🤬.

LH is the same age as my mum and my mum knows damn fucking well that this line of questioning is racist. The idea that she should have been more accommodating of this racist questioning to spare LH’s blushes is insane!!!

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 30/11/2022 23:28

GoingtotheWinchester · 30/11/2022 23:23

Bloody hell. Wanted to see if there was a thread on this story and have realised it’s in the RF section so of course the “ooh aren’t the royal family lovely and ever so accommodating having these foreign people to tea” brigade are out in force 🤬.

LH is the same age as my mum and my mum knows damn fucking well that this line of questioning is racist. The idea that she should have been more accommodating of this racist questioning to spare LH’s blushes is insane!!!

There's an AIBU thread as well, but if anything, there are even more people on that one trying to excuse SH.

antelopevalley · 30/11/2022 23:30

MN has a lot of racism on it. So it does not surprise me.

Maximinimalist · 30/11/2022 23:31

Where their surname is from? What’s the curiousity? I wonder what your kids think.

I was friends with a mixed raced girl at university. Absolutely beautiful. She had very little respect for her white mother’s approach to supporting her. Like her mother you appear to be comfortable to exposing your children to subtle and overt othering of them. These questions about their identity are not benign.

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