Harry and Meghan - lies?

[FurAndFeathers]

Ok I’m keeping my fingers crossed this thread will not descend into an unsubstantiated bun fight! Please bear with me.

I’m definitely no Royalist, and am pretty ambivalent about H and M but from the little I’ve read they seem to have been treated pretty badly. However I keep seeing on other threads here that their claims have all be proven to be lies, which would make me much less sympathetic to them. But I can’t find any verification for this.

So I’m asking more knowledgeable posters - what lies specifically have H&M told and where’s the evidence to the contrary please?

thank you

@onlylarkin

There was an interview recently (the cut) which talked about ‘a nanny’ , who the interviewer met so we know she definitely has one. It’s not shaming to point out the facts
she also had the security who handed out the backpack to a homeless man as a teaching moment, and an unmentioned person who lit a candle I think.

Also, she did not send her children to nursery because we don't have them in the US. We have day care center for families who have working parents or we have pre-schools for families who do not need day care.

For the second time, ill say it louder for those in the back, in the US a pre-school is a school. Kids as young as 3 attend part time or full time. They socialize. They start learning their numbers and letters and colors. They are learning because it is school.

Some programs, like a Montessori for example, has the students bring lunch every day because it is teaching them independence, even at this young age. I have no idea what school Archie is in because I do not care. I am sure it is private and expensive. I am not jealous of that.

Schooling and food and so many other things are different in the US. So p lease stop projecting your UK lifestyle on a couple living in the US.

@onlylarkin I completely agree with you. However, some mums do have it easier than others. At one point, I had a nanny and a cleaner. I was still a devoted mum but life was so much easier!

Depends on how many hours a day they need one for and how many days a week. If they need one round the clock then they would have more then one because one can’t be working all the time. Or maybe she has one per child. Or extra help in the evenings or mornings. Who really cares. If the children are well taken care off what does it matter. There are millions around the world who have nothing. Their parents love them and they can afford top notch help.

Shock horror! Someone possibly Harry lit a candle.
How very dare they!

So, she has "a" nanny. So what? I didn't say that it was shaming that she has one. It is shaming that people say she is not raising her own children because she has one. She is raising her kids.

She is building a business, so she works. Probably more so than Harry, but we don't know that do we?

In their position I’d have help, I can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t, but don’t try to tell me they’re scrubbing 14 bathrooms in between production meetings and Harry is cutting the 7 acre lawn and cleaning the pool in between polo practises

Good job no one has said that on here then!

That’s pretty much the same in the UK but is called ‘nursery.’ In general the early years in the UK, more is expected of children. Not saying it’s right.

@onlylarkin

you asked for proof of a nanny, you were given the proof, she has help, how is that shaming her.

There's loads of rumors on Twitter that they've split due to the book?

I recognize that some families do have more help than others. I have been a stay at home mom since my oldest was born 19 years ago. Through hard work, sacrifice and luck, my husband makes enough that I have been able to be home with my kids, even as teens. I recognize that makes me more privileged than most others.

I also had home based businesses that helped when we needed it. I have felt the judgement from other moms because I did not work outside of the home.

My issue is someone saying that because a person has a nanny they aren't raising theur own kids.

So lets look at it this way:

Are your parents helping with your kids while you work? That is like having a nanny.

Are you kids in day care while you work? That is like having a nanny.

Doesn't make any of these families less parental than someone who stays home with their kids.

Who wouldn’t. Tod you wouldn’t be yelling at your kids to get a move on, or to stop pulling out of you while you tried to unplug the toilet with one hand and stir a cooking pot with another. It makes life easier. We should all be so lucky. She should embrace the immense privilege of it.

Why would anyone think that. They can be a lifestyle choice or they can be. A lifeline. Either way if you can pay then who cares.

Apparently someone cares because people came to this thread specifically to talk down about the fact that she isn't really parenting her kids because she has nannies and staff.

Yet lots of people have nannies and staff and they are still considered parenting their kids.

Exactly, no one is shaming them for having help.

I never said that school changes the workload on parents.

I was responding to people who said that no kids have school at 3 years old. I said in the US, preschool is school. They are learning and doing. This isn't just a drop off to watch the kids while I work. There is a curriculum, which you would know having worked in the US pre-school system.

In fact, here is the state of California Curriculum framework. Created by the state Department of Education.

www.calstatela.edu/sites/default/files/users/u3101/ca_ps_curriculum_famework.pdf

The Cut article was amusing. It pointed out that Meghan had pretentions. Big deal. There are plenty of pretensions on these forums. Again, big deal. Human nature.

That writer went and did her job - she found an angle that was amusing. I’m a fairly regular reader of New York magazine - The Cult and Vulture etc. They specialise in pop culture. Some of what they write can be very serious stuff eg R. Kelly. But some of it can be tongue in cheek. Believe me, some of those writers could find an angle on just about anyone of us that would have other people rolling in the aisles with laughter.

@onlylarkin

most countries have early years education curriculums, we have the ‘early years Aisteár progamme here as a national standard

@Ohnonevermind It seems as you missed the post that I have been talking about re judgement. It was this one:

"Just been reading some tripe about MM . She is wittering on about how hard it is to organise her family, getting the lunchbox ready for Archie to go to school. He is 3!! How can he be at school at 3? A lot of stuff about how terribly difficult it all is and how busy their household is. She has staff! A nanny! She doesn't work and her husband doesn't work. Honest to God."

This post is full of judgement and mom shaming because she has staff. It even states that 3 year olds do not go to school, which I proved to be wrong.

That was followed up by this post:

"Why send your 3 year old to nursery if you have nannies?"

I was explaining that there is a difference between day care and pre-school. If you have nannies you do not need day care. If you have nannies, you can still send your child to pre-school to learn.

Day cares take care of children while parents work. Pre-schools are schools and have a curriculum.

Hopefully this has cleared things up for you.

Her nanny and staff, that we have no idea if she actually has, aren't raising her kids.

We know she has at least one nanny. She's mentioned her in her podcasts and the interviewer from The Cut met her. We know she has staff because she's talked about the gardener. And she has a driver that picks up her son. She has a 14 bed house, there's no way she's looking after a 14 bed house on her own! Particularly as she and Harry, in The cut magazine, said that they knew the first couple of years, working would be the hardest. So if they're working so hard, there's no way she's doing all those household chores herself.

That still does not mean that she isn't raising her own kids! Just like it wouldn't mean that you or I aren't raising our kids if we have help with our kids in the form of a nanny, grandparents help or day care. No one does it without help at some point. Doesn't make us less as parents, just different.

If I could pay for staff I would, except the gardener. I love doing that.

@onlylarkin

Does daycare not have a curriculum framework ?

No, daycare does not have a curriculum.

Now that I am done with my evening meeting, I will write out how schooling works here in the US. Then I am pretty much done with this post, not sure why I got drug back in in the first place. Probably because parent shaming gets my goat.

Day care centers are child minders. They typically do not provide an education, though some programs do. Montessori schools and one particular school called Primrose do include some education. Those are usually expensive. Day care in general is expensive in the US. Day cares are used by working parents. Some families have begun to use a nanny share, to spread the cost of a nanny, others use family or home based day care center.

Pre-school is an actual schooling program for ages 3-4 & 5. These do provide schooling and most states have a curriculum that must be followed. Yes, even at age 3. Not all parents chose to start pre-school at age 3, it is not mandatory. Preschool is paid for by the parents, unless the individual state has programs in place. I am not sure how many states provide that now, but I do not think it is many. As with everything, the government would love to provide universal pre-school to all children but the budget never goes as far as it needs to. Low income and neurodivergent children can qualify for state subsidized tuition. The people who use the pre-school system are typically those who do not use daycare. Those that are Stay at home parents, use families for day care and, well, nannies.

Kindergarten starts at age 5 here. There are cut off dates for enrollment, which is why you may still see a 5 year old in pre-school. The majority of kids go to the public school system, unless their parents can afford private school tuition. I know there is a High School near me that has a tuition of over $20,000 a year. I do not know anyone with kids that go there.

Kids go through schooling until 12th grade, usually age 18. Then can go through higher education. Public schools through 12th grade are funded by yearly taxes on home ownership. Higher education is paid by scholarships, student loans or families savings.

I do quite understand that there is a difference between education in the UK and the US. I never compared them. I have no idea what it looks like in the UK because I have never lived there.

I am now done participating in shaming any parent, including Meghan and Harry. We all have our own way of getting through life with our kids and no way is better than the other. Easier? Yes. Better? No. One thing I am confident in saying is that it appears that Harry and Meghan love their kids very much.