Feeling sorry for the Duchess of Sussex

[8AndGreat]

It must be so surreal for her to be caught in everything that is happening at the moment. I know H&M are controversial to say the least but they came here to do a feel good tour and are now caught up in everything that's going on. If I were Meghan, I'd travel back to the US to be with my dc and leave Harry with trusted family and aids. It was odd that the Sussexes said they'd both travel to Balmoral and the media now say that King Charles said that Meghan wouldn't be welcome. I can understand why as only close family attendee's Balmoral.

To sum it up, I feel sorry for both Harry and Meghan, I think they are out of their depth. Their autobiography will be interesting.

None of the Queen's other grandchildren were there, so I can see why Harry may not have been expected. Different for William as he is the next heir. I'm just guessing the whole thing was really awkward. I don't think Harry stayed long at Balmoral anyway.

At least he didn't turn up with the Netflix crew!

I am not sorry for her as she chose her path. Her lies and insinuations have been exposed to show the kind of person she is and to come to the UK and not to visit the Queen is appalling. She is now sitting thinking WTF this was all supposed to be about me and now it's not. She and Harry chose not to be part of the Royals but then they expect suddenly to be in there? Karma has come sooner than expected.

I don't feel sorry for them. They don't want to be part of the Royal Family but want to trade off the association. They just seem like really hard work to be honest.

Whatever we think about Andrew, the Queen loved her son very much so I think on her deathbed she was entitled to want him there, she loved Sophie like a daughter apparently, and would have chosen for her to be there.

Meghan and the Queen do not have a blood relationship nor do they have a decades long bond. It would have been inappropriate for her to go, when other grandchildren were not there.

I can’t see why anyone thinks that is racist?

I wouldn't invite someone who'd publicly trashed my family, sold stories, and lied, and also publicly said she can 'say whatever she wants,' to an extremely emotional private moment.

You know there would be some 'the Queen actually whispered her last words in my ear when no one was looking' Oprah story from her if she had gone.

I guess that could be true.
if you’re a misogynist who believes poor menz have no capacity for thought or responsibility for their own behaviour.

interestingly there’s another thread at the moment about the rise of abuse towards women on social media. This thread is a great example of it.

Also, Harry and William aren't the only grandchildren and I think that's forgotten sometimes. Zara didn't rush up there with Mike Tindall for a last hug with her Gran – she went up the day after.

Harry has the arrested development of a young boy that underwent a great trauma. He has found a dominant woman to support him and I hope the marriage is a happy one. She’s all he’s got.

Harry quit carrying out all royal duties. He has criticised and complained about the royal institution several times. Now unfolding are the consequences. I was surprised he wasnt at the privy council ceremonly today. I looked it up. But he is not a member.

Meghan and Harry as a duo have made themselves dangerous to be around for any member of the RF. Meghan probably more than Harry, if looking at them separately.

If M had been in Balmoral and someone deep in grief didn't hear her, or somehow inadvertently- and I mean genuinely inadvertently- seemed to snub her then there's a possibility that at some point in the future they'd be named and shamed for being racist. Or destroying her mental health.

It's simply not worth the risk to have those two around in private. And they've caused that by their own behaviour. None of that is the RF's fault. And I say that without implying the RF have behaved impeccably either.

It will be interesting to see what role H has (if any) at the Vigil of the Princes, the funeral, etc. I

I just chuckled at the thought of them arriving with a Netflix crew 🤣

Maybe not the point but i hope both her and Kate stay away and focus on their children. I also hope that for the young ones sake the queen expressed she didnt wish for the young children to attend the state funeral - I dont think it will be any place for the kids, I still well up seeing Harry and William at Diana's funeral - such a hard thing for them to have gone through on top of the actual loss of their mother.

Where has anyone suggested it is?
if you read the posts properly, the suggestion is that the hatred directed towards her is influenced by the fact she’s female, mixed race and opinionated.

you can see that by some of the personal attacks towards her on this thread.

the white male who hangs out with convicted sex-traffickers, however gets off without a comment

It was a family occasion not a state one. Given she’s called out most of those members of the family and made a very public statement to leave that family, why t f should she have expected to be there?
made to that her very recently published threat that she is free to “say anything “ and her multiple media deals for which she requires content to make valid, it was also highly inappropriate from an official perspective for the new king that she wasn’t able to glean private details that would inevitably be share with the world with her own version of the truth around them.

Nope. I know there are certain family situations on DH’s side where I do not get involved unless specifically invited, and the same applies for DH re my family. This situation is of their own making.

That said, I do feel sorry for him (and him alone), having to go to Balmoral, which possibly holds difficult memories of his mother’s death, to hear of another can’t have been easy.

@mum2bee2022 i think you’ve got it spot on. I think he will rue the day he met her, if he’s not already ! They were invited to balmoral by Charles before this happens and turned the invite down...if they’d gone then Harry would have seen his grandmother one last time. He’s made a big mistake, she’s played him big style...she loves and wants the limelight. Will see what happens now but he’s a lot of making up to do with his father & William ....they caused a lot of upset to the queen with their OW interview 😳

Whatever choices H&M have made, I feel very sorry for the family as a whole that, appreciating how old Prince Philip and the Queen were, that H&M could not have quietly bided their time within the family until after HMQ had gone. It wasn't like they were going to have to wait for a long time and would have given M a less mercenary feel about marrying into the family, when they did leave.

Whereas estrangement with a family or family member is not uncommon, it is more rare to find that there is estrangement from biological family and partner's family. According to research men tend to be more reluctant for estrangement to take place but if it happens they get over it and then get on with their lives. Women are more likely to brood and become angry and find it hard to move on.
Meghan has a history of falling out with people including family members. She is clearly very damaged. Her mother abandoned her for her teenage years although she has now grown closer to her again. She is carrying a lot of anger and bitterness and I think she is taking it out on her husband's family.
www.verywellfamily.com/breakdown-of-family-estrangement-1695444

I feel sorry for all of them - they’ve lost the key member of their family, the glue that held them altogether. They probably all feel pretty “lost”.

Regarding Meghan not travelling to Balmoral, I’m pretty sure if someone posted on AIBU to say “Our granny is on her death bed. One grandson wants to bring his wife who has been gossiping about the family behind their backs and the rest of us don’t want her there right now.” there would be a resounding “YANBU!”

Now if she is missing from the funeral then I’m prepared to change my mind, but right now the perceived exclusions are all of their own doing.

Absolutely this⏫ They have created toxic brand for themselves & Megan has severely underestimated the global respect for HMQ. They'll be very few queuing up for her views going forward esp when so many of her 'claims' have been debunked.

I don't feel sorry for Meghan, I feel a touch sorry for her dopey husband. He's burned all his bridges with his family (hard to envisage a way back on that front) and where will that leave him when the inevitable divorce occurs?*

NB: I'm not WISHING a divorce on them, but so many marriages fail these days, and those ones are under far less pressure than the Sussexes.

On another note, I notice Pizza Express of Woking wasn't included in the family interview line up of personal reminiscences given to the BBC. Huzzah! Hopefully that's the last any of us see of his smug, bloated, sweat-free coupon. 🥳

Yes, 4 people lost their mother, I think 8 lost their grandmother and no idea how many lost their great grandmother, life long friends lost her and we have to single out her grandson's wife who knew her for a very short time? Why?

I don't believe Charles would have said that, he publicly declared his love for them yesterday which was good.

They chose a path together.

I have a sister who is estranged from my family, she chose her path. Sometimes mistakes are made but sometimes it’s a very deliberate choice, it was theirs to make.

William & Harry were the only grandchildren who headed to Balmoral-possibly as Charles' sons rather than in any other capacity.

Unless HMQ was particularly close to any of her GC's spouses she would have been unlikely to want them there.