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The royal family

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Strange family relationships

173 replies

antsy · 08/06/2021 16:26

The Queen is reported to have invited Harry to a private lunch. According to a courtier speaking to the Mail: "It’s a typically magnanimous gesture by Her Majesty.
It will be the first time they will meet alone since 2020.

www.thesun.co.uk/news/15196025/queen-harry-lunch-windsor-private-meeting-royal-family/

If my great grandmother (if she was alive) was going to invite me for lunch, even if there had been a big family feud, it would not be seen as this amazing gesture.

I do find it strange anyway that they have to book an appointment to see the Queen, even her adult children have to. In a more normal family the adult children would just ring and say are you free tonight, okay if I pop over for a quick coffee? It is all so stiff and formal even with close family relationships. No wonder they are so dysfunctional.

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Mummy194 · 08/06/2021 16:36

Made even stranger by the fact that there are potentially employees who can block you from actually seeing your grandma.

I suspect that is one of the reasons H&M wanted to live in some rooms at Windsor Castle.
Possibly why they settled for nearby Frogmore too, so they could possibly bump into HMQ without being blocked?

antsy · 08/06/2021 17:00

Perhaps?
It is more like arranging to see the boss of a company than a family member.

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Roussette · 08/06/2021 17:02

Yes, it is a very odd set up. I think the Queen's children have to curtsey to her also. The one child who seems to love all this is Andrew. He apparently bows and kisses her hand every time he sees her. But I imagine he is quite the suck up Grin as he knows which side his bread is buttered.

Those courtiers Shock I bet some of them are really OTT with their off the cuff statements, leaking to the press, and shenanigans behind the scenes. It must be so frustrating to never be able to do anything impromptu with the Queen, and yes they will be blocking whoever they want undoubtedly.

SunbathingDragon · 08/06/2021 17:04

@antsy

Perhaps? It is more like arranging to see the boss of a company than a family member.
In many ways the Queen is the boss of a business and it’s that business Harry semi-resigned from. She is also the mother/grandmother/great-grandmother in a big family.

I haven’t read the article but isn’t it likely that covid means the Queen isn’t likely up have big family gatherings for a while?

antsy · 08/06/2021 17:07

@SunbathingDragon The Queen can meet with up to 6 people indoors like anyone else.
And lots of families have a family business. This is more like I imagine the Mafia operates.

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SunbathingDragon · 08/06/2021 17:13

[quote antsy]@SunbathingDragon The Queen can meet with up to 6 people indoors like anyone else.
And lots of families have a family business. This is more like I imagine the Mafia operates.[/quote]
Legally she can be one of six (or two households) indoors but perhaps she doesn’t want to, especially not if those five others are all exposed to other people. She is in her mid 90s and vaccinated or not, she is the age bracket most likely to see the vaccination fail or else have antibodies waning.

SkedaddIe · 08/06/2021 17:15

[quote antsy]@SunbathingDragon The Queen can meet with up to 6 people indoors like anyone else.
And lots of families have a family business. This is more like I imagine the Mafia operates.[/quote]
I thought royal families were the oldest mafias, literally.

But their scribes recorded their ancient brutalities as bravery and noble acts and the rest is history, literally.

antsy · 08/06/2021 17:21

@SunbathingDragon Sure she may not want to.
Yes good point about the oldest Mafia!
A strange family.

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Roussette · 08/06/2021 17:22

And it will get more strange I think when the Queen isn't around.

antsy · 08/06/2021 17:26

Yes true.

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BreakingtheIce · 08/06/2021 17:27

How can she invite him to lunch? He’s in California!

ExitChasedByABee · 08/06/2021 17:40

Thanks for sharing this. I somehow get all my royal news from Mumsnet, I wouldn’t know what to to search for. Why has the Sun made this newsworthy? What’s wrong with a grandmother inviting her grandson for a chat? Isn’t that normal?

The royal family has all sorts of protocols for which an outsider will find difficult to follow and some of which must be quite stifling. Also, the hierarchic structure must make it a very dysfunctional function and yet I often find myself sympathising with the more human aspects, because unlike how most families functions, with their ups and downs, you aren’t living in a goldfish bowl. Every facial expression and your body language is scrutinised and analysed and then people wonder why some members of the royal family might be more reserved. They’re there to function as a role, expected to be the backdrop, not have too much of a personality so as not to detract from the attention of the cause and yet be charming. It’s a fine balancing act and the constitutional role the royal family has, it will be very difficult to simply remove that out of the equation. As a pragmatist, I do see the benefits the royal family can bring and how if the government is left completely to their own devices, how much it will really effect our day to day lives.

I don’t agree with the antiquated standards and if I had to choose between Charles and the rest of his siblings to be the one to replace the queen, I’d choose Anne. Instead of the “spare to the heir” playing a supporting role in the shadows, always being careful not to overshadow the lead, this sort of thing cannot work in the modern day world. Harry and Meghan have good qualities that can be utilised, perhaps they may prefer their own leading roles rather than be seen as supporting actor and that should have been encouraged.

It is interesting to see the few changes that have been made between how each generation operates, how the Queen was with her children, to how Diana was with hers, to how William and Kate and now Meghan and Harry choose to bring their children up. And those are the few things are almost documented due to the media scrutiny, the rest of the members of the family may well raise their children to the way others mentioned have but it’s not been scrutinised as heavily due to their line of succession. It must make for a simpler not to have that scrutiny.

I wonder what they think of the protocols they follow? Or have they followed them their whole lives and suddenly having outsiders and onlookers experiencing things that they took things as a given, shaken things up just a tad? How much power and autonomy do they really have over their own lives? It might be easier to live like a rich private family away from all the gawkers.

It’s not an enviable place to be in. What you say or do being leaked must make one quite paranoid of who to really trust. It must play havoc with one’s mental health, the level of media scrutiny and the unhealthy manipulation the tabloids seem to have of building people up to topple them or magnify something out of proportion successfully stoking up public sentiment and yet just smile and nod, don’t explain and never complain. Follow protocol or don’t follow protocol, damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Not a life I’d want in a million years.

Roussette · 08/06/2021 18:07

Interesting post Exit. Not a life I'd want in a million years either.

OutwiththeOutCrowd · 08/06/2021 20:51

Actually announcing a private lunch, or getting a courtier to relay the impending event to a newspaper, seems ... weird.

BreakingtheIce · 08/06/2021 20:53

@OutwiththeOutCrowd

Actually announcing a private lunch, or getting a courtier to relay the impending event to a newspaper, seems ... weird.
And not believable either.
OppsUpsSide · 08/06/2021 20:54

Long old trip for a spot of lunch, what’s wrong with Zoom?

Becles · 08/06/2021 22:30

Looking forward to seeing a copy of the menu.

Strange family relationships
BreakingtheIce · 08/06/2021 23:41

I think it’s always steamed salmon...

AvidNameChanger · 08/06/2021 23:55

@OutwiththeOutCrowd Or it could be a clumsy attempt to show that things are ticking along fine? Also @Becles Mail on Sunday? How reliable is that? I do find it interesting how one tabloid quotes another tabloid to give it a degree of authenticity and show that there is some kind of journalistic integrity. The number of times, some kind of entertainment piece quotes a tabloid article from another country and then when you look into the publication, you find out that not only are they quoting one another, they’ve been bought by the same conglomerate corporation. Clearly not much has changed since the News of the World days.

antsy · 09/06/2021 00:11

@BreakingtheIce I read that too. How boring.

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BluePeterVag · 09/06/2021 00:27

We live overseas from my in laws, if we were in the area visiting for a few days we would have to book an appointment to see them, because otherwise time ticks on and there are others to see. Even grandparents. We have to schedule our time to maximise our visit. I’m sure Harry will have a load of things on his to-do, probably needs to a stock up on Bisto, Vimto, Monster Munch etc when he is here and his diary will be pretty full. Booking a time in it to his a family member is the same as blocking out that time for anything else, so it makes sense to me.

RickiTarr · 09/06/2021 00:39

2020 was a few months ago. How many days have HMQ and Harry spent in the same country since then? How many of those was Harry quarantined alone? That probably leaves two or three days, one of which was the funeral itself and then he shot back off to California quite promptly.

I think the culprits here are the Atlantic and COVID.

ExitChasedByABee · 09/06/2021 05:04

@RickiTarr Absolutely. Anything to make a story out of something so inconsequential.

@BluePeterVag I agree and I also do the same thing. When I come to London with DP to see my family and friends, we do the same thing so we can utilise the time we have and other days we schedule days just to relax and potter around or just do our own thing. Pretty much with most people, whether you live close by or not, you need to check for availability and time and then make arrangements as you can’t just plan to meet and expect them not to have a life of their own.

I would it find it more strange if someone was just being presumptuous and expected to just drop in and knocked on the door without checking whether or not if we are in or busy, just a quick heads up would suffice as we might have things to do, need to pop out, do errands or whatnot. For unexpected visits, if I’m at home, I would certainly still politely let them in, but I would feel out of sorts if I feel I can’t host them properly without sufficient supplies and I’d feel especially annoyed, which will obviously be concealed, if my impromptu visitor is the type of person who everyone knows doesn’t open doors to unannounced visitors but somehow expects me to wait on them hand and foot or expects me to drop everything that I’ve been doing just to sit and chat for the entire duration of their visit, thereby insinuating that my time is less precious than theirs. Due to covid and quarantine, we are able to social distance and it would be more likely that we will be indoors than outdoors, but a quick message will help arrange a suitable time so I have refreshments ready, me and the house are presentable etc and we aren’t busy with household errands Smile

ExitChasedByABee · 09/06/2021 05:13

Not to mention the fact that we might have other visitors so messaging beforehand will help book an appropriate time slot.

OutwiththeOutCrowd · 09/06/2021 06:52

@AvidNameChanger, I agree. The policy adopted by the Royals seems to be to treat Meghan and Harry as toddlers who they love dearly and whose meaningless strop they are going to overlook. The institution of Monarchy will roll onwards regardless.

Either that or the Queen was channeling Hannibal Lecter and when she said she was going to have Harry for lunch, she meant lightly grilled with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.