Strange family relationships

[antsy]

The Queen is reported to have invited Harry to a private lunch. According to a courtier speaking to the Mail: "It’s a typically magnanimous gesture by Her Majesty.
It will be the first time they will meet alone since 2020.

www.thesun.co.uk/news/15196025/queen-harry-lunch-windsor-private-meeting-royal-family/

If my great grandmother (if she was alive) was going to invite me for lunch, even if there had been a big family feud, it would not be seen as this amazing gesture.

I do find it strange anyway that they have to book an appointment to see the Queen, even her adult children have to. In a more normal family the adult children would just ring and say are you free tonight, okay if I pop over for a quick coffee? It is all so stiff and formal even with close family relationships. No wonder they are so dysfunctional.

Honestly it sounds a bit like my aunt 🤣🤣 she is available by appointment only and if you haven't made one she doesn't answer the phone or the door

It's a completely different world. You can't compare it to normal life at all.

Closer than it used to be though. Marriages were mergers and acquisitions rather than love. Affairs practically a requirement.

I do find it strange anyway that they have to book an appointment to see the Queen, even her adult children have to. In a more normal family the adult children would just ring and say are you free tonight, okay if I pop over for a quick coffee?

Yes but normal families don't have numerous homes and even if you know which estate someone is on you might not know which property.

She's fantastically busy though all day, I couldn't cope with her schedule at all and I'm much younger. She must have to plan everything weeks in advance. Our grannies were long retired at that age but she is not.
She has huge duty and responsibility.

Lunch alone with the Queen is very rare, even for close family. During 'termtime' that's because of all the official stuff, and in the holidays because there's other family there and that would be a group activity.

She's not been seeing non-HMS Bubble that closely at all - so no-one would have seen her like that since 2020.

It sounds to me as if Prince Harry is getting the generous end of normal (I hope that makes sense) - being fitted in for lunch, not just meeting up, when there's a huge backlog of people (including family) she's not seen for the same length of time

Lunch alone with the Queen is very rare, even for close family

Is it? Is that official? Didn't know that. I imagine Andrew lunches with the Queen lots, I read that somewhere. No idea with Covid though.

Where has it been said that there's a huge backlog of people? Now that covid is relaxed with the 6, I imagine she's seen the family she's wanted to.

@sashh - at turning up and knocking on the door of Windsor Castle when the Queen’s at Sandringham…

Although I suppose you could look at the roof and see if the flag’s flying.

@EdithWeston

Lunch alone with the Queen is very rare, even for close family. During 'termtime' that's because of all the official stuff, and in the holidays because there's other family there and that would be a group activity.

She's not been seeing non-HMS Bubble that closely at all - so no-one would have seen her like that since 2020.

It sounds to me as if Prince Harry is getting the generous end of normal (I hope that makes sense) - being fitted in for lunch, not just meeting up, when there's a huge backlog of people (including family) she's not seen for the same length of time

Actually I think you are wrong. She is supposed to have family for tea and lunch a lot. Sophie and Edward go round every week I read somewhere. She has the grandchildren on a regular basis. Lunch also. Covid I’m sure has changed things.

With the royals its all about keeping up appearances even though it's daggers drawn behind closed doors. That's why they weren't happy when Diana didnt go along with pretending everything was wonderful.

i have never had the impression that queenie is a cuddly granny. so I imagine they have to jump through hoops to see her.

I know she is working which is why I said in normal families adult children would ring and see if she was free. At most, they might ring a pa to check her whereabouts/if she is free.
Adult children would not have to arrange months in advance a short meet up.
It is dysfunctional. And it is more like a business than a family.

Utterly despicable to refer to making an allegation of racism as "throwing a toddler strop."

Royals regularly give interviews and documentaries badmouthing each other and whinging about their terrible live. Nothing Harry has said is anywhere near as bad as the things Charles said when he slagged off the queen and whinged about his terrible childhood.

Harry's few brief comments were a model of restraint and empathy.

William slagged off his own mother and tried to censor and silence her, but of course he's not married to a black woman so he can do no wrong.

Very amusing that the BRF's desperate response - scrambling to hire a new team of crisis managers, and starting the pathetically obvious and much derided PR stunts - is being ignored.

We can’t know though can we? It’s all guesswork.

She’s not a Black woman. She’s mixed race. For the millionth time.

Adult children would not have to arrange months in advance a short meet up. It is dysfunctional. And it is more like a business than a family.

The fact the courtiers have the power to block them from seeing or speaking to their own immediate family is freaky.

Look at Christmas Day: a full day of planned activities with a million mandatory clothing changes, and royals with young children aren't allowed to see their own kids on Christmas Day for more than 5 minutes, unless they sneak away from one of the Activities to do so.

No wonder Kate insists on spending alternate Christmases with her parents. So funny how media and PR works. For years Kate was the evil one snubbing the Queen and the Middletons were the graspers trying to set up a "rival court." Now Meghan's the evil one for snubbing the Queen (even being blamed for Harry not going to Balmoral when Harry's not been there since he was a teenager) while Kate is applauded for giving her kids a normal Christmas.

It's a weird, toxic Firm and not a family at all. That's why all married-ins struggle with it. Pretending Harry having to book an appointment via courtiers months in advance is remotely comparable to you having to phone your nan to say "is it okay if I pop round next week" is a good wheeze though!

@EdithWeston But that sums it up in a nutshell that a private lunch meeting is seen as the Queen being very generous to her adult great-grandchild. It really isn't. She does not even have to shop for and make the lunch, just turn up for the few hours it takes.
Most people when they are bereaved want to spend more time with family.

I always thought it was terrible that Fergie was not allowed to join her own children for Christmas Day but had to stay at a cottage on the estate while the children joined the Royal Family.

Actually I think you are wrong. She is supposed to have family for tea and lunch a lot. Sophie and Edward go round every week I read somewhere. She has the grandchildren on a regular basis. Lunch also. Covid I’m sure has changed things

Agree - it's not typically one-on-one. Sorry for lack of clarity. I didn't mean to imply she doesn't see much of family at all. Though she didn't much during covid - HMS was very strict. At least she's got the acreage to see people at the cautious end of spacing out now that there is a bit more contact

I don’t really find it that odd. It’s never going to be normal - tbh I don’t really know what that means, every family will do things differently - but then it’s quite an unusual thing for someone to be both a national institution and your immediate family.

She sees Edward and Sophie once a week for lunch, so a few hours. They live on the same estate as her. I didn't think she saw much of her grandchildren at all, although I am guessing she sees more of any who live on the same estate.
Of course, she would have been strict with covid. At her age, she is very unlikely to survive catching it. And some of her family pretty much ignored some of the restrictions.

@MissTrip82 You don't think it is normal when you want to see your mother as an adult to ring her and ask when it would be okay to pop round? Or if they are very busy with work ring their pa? And for the answer to be maybe that day and certainly within the week, rather than months away. And for the idea of a private lunch with your adult grandchild to be seen as some great privilege you have bestowed.
It is dysfunctional. And the fact that the Royal Family or are putting out stories about this as if it is a good thing, shows how detached they are from normal family lives.

It’s hardly surprising they haven’t met alone since 2020 what with Covid and living thousands of miles apart.

A palace source says the Queen wasn’t asked about the choice of baby name.

[quote antsy]@EdithWeston But that sums it up in a nutshell that a private lunch meeting is seen as the Queen being very generous to her adult great-grandchild. It really isn't. She does not even have to shop for and make the lunch, just turn up for the few hours it takes.
Most people when they are bereaved want to spend more time with family.[/quote]
How do you know how she sees it though? We don’t have any idea what her feelings are.

A palace source says the Queen wasn’t asked about the choice of baby name.

And a different source says she was.

IMO the courtiers and palace staff need to stop leaking personal things about Harry to the press all the time. It makes Harry's actions in leaving look justified.

I don't find it that strange at all.

She is a working woman. She travels around the country a lot and has several different homes. Her work engagements are not only during the day but occasionally in the evening too.

All that means she will have a staff to slot in family meetings and events too. I hardly think you can expect the poor woman to handle her own diary as well as everything else. Especially now she is a working 80 something year old. Not super woman after all.