H & M - The Cat, The Barber and the Argyll Pheasant Pluckers

[TheMustressMhor]

I hope I've got what everyone wants in the title of this, the twelfth thread in the series.

Appointment is tomorrow. They did say that it was an unlikely diagnosis but could not be sure.

Everyone knows I am not cynical though. So clearly it is a coincidence that a vast quantity of SCOLDS appear at once.

Forget my suggestion that they alert one another.

I know it’s fun and peeps are happy to inhabit a certain role and all, but could we please stop objectifying each other as scolds and non scolds, like we are an airing cupboard of Mitfords.

Really I think these threads have a useful cathartic effect on those of us who have experienced narc abuse, and let’s not get deleted because of a “them and us” kind of positioning / posturing.

I’m all for having debate and sound argument. I also like musing on woo and talking about the cats.
No one is banned, or branded, all are welcome to witter away.

In a way we are using M&H to identify themes and patterns, and unpicking a relationship, a family dynamic, and a system of behaviour that’s not talked about very much as it’s so puzzling, nonetheless can have huge impact on those concerned.

I’ve not watched the TM documentary yet - probably will over the weekend.

I don’t see though how a loving parent would feature in such a programme.

@FlickingVees

I would agree wholeheartedly with you if it was not the case that one thread, at least, was threatened with deletion.

This came about when posters started arguing so much with one another that MNHQ came aboard and deleted loads of posts.

I believe that it is the aim of some people to have these threads shut down and deleted. That is why they post challenging/goading remarks. They want posters to disagree, become angry, and respond in ways which breach the MN Talk Guidelines.

By ignoring these posters we are preserving the threads and our right and desire to have our say.

No one is banned, or branded, all are welcome to witter away

Well, yes. Of course all are welcome to witter away.

Except - some people get very angry and then post things which the SCOLDS report to MNHQ. (And they should, of course.)

And then MNHQ threaten to delete the thread. That (I believe) is the desired outcome. We can avoid this happening, though.

SCOLDS usually cherry-pick one line out of context and argue with it or react as if it’s done kind of ‘gotcha’ to claim moral high ground (on an anonymous forum, no less).

@Encyclo
"He's got a dreadful history with the rest of his family too. I just find it weird he's getting so much sympathy."
Has he got a dreadful history with them?
Samantha is very supportive and clearly cares greatly about her father.
Thomas Jr has been very supportive of his father. He has supported his claims in terms of Meghan's upbringing - his love, career help and financing her through private school and college.
The children from TM's first marriage lived with him when he married Doria.
Doria and TM seem to have a relationship of respect for each other.

He seems to be a well respected family member to me. It seems to be that Thomas Sr doesn't see his GC because they are estranged from their father, Thomas Jr. He has had contact with Samantha's children but one of them is NC with Samantha.

Let's face it, on MN threads when people go NC with their parents or PIL, many don't go out of their way to let their GdC form relationships with the P or PIL. I feel his situation is similar to this.

It's just a normal dysfunctional family like lots of families.

Did TM mention Archie at all in the documentary other than being vituperative about his appearance?

FlickingVees you are trying to be balanced, and there's a lot of sense in your comment but this is all based on an assumption that MM is a narcissist. People on this thread don't/can't know! And some of the posts have been really awful.

OP: It's great to form a community but this one has such a spiteful foundation.

You are exercising your right to comment as am I! There's a lack of reflection from commentators though who don't see their own behaviour as problematic, while assassinating Meghan's character.

The sense of victimhood is strong, and you're infantilising yourselves; being picked on by the nasty baddies. You even gave them a nickname!

No need to engage 😉

Oh yes, I remember that thread Mhor: I don’t know if there’s anything left of it, or whether it’s just too moth eaten now to make any sense of it. That can happen in airing cupboards.

well, hopefully everyone will be ok with just posting their opinions and experiences, and not flinging buns on this one too.

That’s true rockingchair, and while I do have clinical experience, I’m not a clinical psychologist , or psychiatrist, and can’t make any kind of MH diagnosis.

However, I can observe behaviour from MM and her family members, and some behaviours in some people’s opinion point in a direction of narcissistic behaviour.

In a way we are using these observed behaviours to illuminate patterns and themes of behaviours we have observed in our own lives. This is a useful tool don’t you think, and has some value.

I didn't know about him doing the Piers Morgan interview. Why on earth do that & lie in that also? Of course H&M would be angry

I believe that it is the aim of some people to have these threads shut down and deleted. That is why they post challenging/goading remarks. They want posters to disagree, become angry, and respond in ways which breach the MN Talk Guidelines

I have to post refuting that. I cannot for the life of me understand the hate for MM, that much is true, but everyone is entitled to a voice. But if I think something is untrue, vile, unsubstantiated, I will challenge or report a post.

However when posts are littered with false assumptions dressed up as facts, it is wrong. There are posts on here from MNers who talk as if they have a back channel to MM's nanny and quote as fact something that is just a view.

You say people get angry then post things which 'we' report to MNHQ. Well.... those people ought to have more self control then shouldn't they? What I actually post and what I would like to post are very often two different things! Because I realise I can't post exactly what I think all the time. So I tone it down.

I agree with Flicker perhaps labelling a group of posters on MN as SCOLDS is not a sensible way to go? And continually telling posters to ignore us is hardly going to help is it?

I watched the TM interview quite late last night and have been thinking about it. There's something about it that really bothers me. It's like he's daring her, goading her almost, into saying saying something he knows she can't possibly say.

FlickingBees

That thread is still standing.

With regard to your comment:

hopefully everyone will be ok with just posting their opinions and experiences and not flinging buns

…...of course everyone is okay with this (as far as I can judge.)

But it can be difficult not to respond to anything deemed outrageous by someone. And if we do, and posts get deleted, MNHQ (rightly) delete the entire thread, after due warning.

I believe that it is the aim of some people to have these threads shut down and deleted. That is why they post challenging/goading remarks.

It's very weird behaviour. There is a hide thread button. It is a great tool of MN and a very wise inclusion. I've used it many times myself. If I do not like the subject matter, or find it too close for comfort, I hide the thread. I don't think 'l must stop these grown up adults talking'

Whoops bit late on parade here - Roussette and other members of the SCOLD fraternity we must sort out our alerting system (wink).

Curly I don't feel part of this community ,I think I'm not supposed to !.Which is fine ,I don't have a need to be part of an online community ,my needs are met in RL .

OP ....that's a nice welcoming statement at 15.25 .

I do understand however that you don't feel able to welcome people who want to challenge others by asking for details of what particular assumptions are based on .Or who complain that posters make highly critical remarks based on gossip and "sources" ,or sometimes on nothing .

The tone of this thread seems more balanced than previous ones ,which pleases me immensley ( hope I've spelt that correctly )

Sirloin steak tomorrow, with peppercorn sauce, chips, courgettes and mushrooms fried in garlic and butter and grilled tomatoes.

I wish it was tomorrow.

Strike me pink (literally)

A friend recommended the pink gin very highly.

I do not like the taste. So that was a waste of eighteen quid.

Going back to sherry.

How do people know he paid for school but not university? Not being snippy but where has that been said? Americans call university, school, just to confuse things.

I'm pretty sure that Americans call university "college".

I hadn't realised that his two other children were both estranged from their own children. That does seem...unfortunate. Are character traits hereditary? (I suppose it's the nature/nurture theory?)

It's an anonymous public forum, no one is obliged to engage with anyone Rousseau

Pleased this thread meets your standards Perdido 🙄*
*
I'm torn between feeling sorry for TM** and thinking he's really abusive. Either way MM had a really unstable start in life which is sure to have left it's mark and will be affecting her interpersonal relationships

I've heard you should never look a SCOLD directly in the eye

They do call it college but I've also seen it referred to as school