Made a mistake and don’t want a cat!

[DontWantACat]

About a month ago, a young cat turned up in my garden (live rural, lots of farms, horses/livery places, therefore always lots of cats), very skinny and obviously been in some difficulty as its neck was missing loads of hair, had healing cuts on it. Definitely not someone’s pet. I put out water and food for it, it wasn’t in great shape and while I’m really not a cat person, I couldn’t see an animal in difficulty without trying to help. Fed it for a week or so and it hung around, got its strength back.

Went on holiday for 10 days and thought it would break the cycle and the cat would move on again. Nope. The minute I got home it was there. Had lost weight again so I fed it again. And I’ve now been feeding it for 2 weeks.

It’s become completely obsessed with me. If it sees me in the kitchen it’s staring in the window/door, it’s sleeping outside the door every night, if I walk outside it’s walking around my feet. If it sit outside it’s rubbing off me and wrapping its tail round me. Or talking to me and doing the blinky eye thing.

But I don’t want a cat! I lost my last 2 pets about 6 weeks ago and I don’t want the responsibility again for a while. I’m also not really gone on cats, and definitely don’t want one in my house. I also don’t want to be responsible for vet bills and such.

I’ve rang the local rescues, they’re full. Shared in groups I’m part of, no takers.

What do I do? Do I stop feeding it? Will it move on?

You are a cat person at heart. You recognise the blinky thing as this cat communicating that she feels safe with you. I don’t think she’ll move on, but keep trying the rescues or ask around friends, colleagues, family if anyone wants her.

There most definitely should be. It would make life much easier for most cat rescues - the independent ones are mostly dependent on donations & adoption fees, & spaying is one of their big costs!

Been here long enough to know about the cat tax, see attached

Unfortunately I’m not UK based, but thank you, I’ll look for my equivalent.

Seems like you’re the first and probably only person to have shown this cat any kindness and the poor thing has learned to trust you and likes you. How heartbreaking. Understand you don’t want a pet, but could you keep feeding her, maybe get her spayed? You don’t have to take full responsibility but just to keep an eye on her.

This is heartbreaking. She just wants love and a home. I would take her in a heartbeat.

That’s a good point @70isaLimitNotaTarget, might have another chat with the vet again next week.

Genuinely not a cat person @LiveLuvLaugh😅 I’m all big dogs and rodents! The blinky thing is so weird, she’ll there on the table in the garden, right in front of my face, in the morning when I’m having my tea blinking and meowing away. She’s a good cat honestly, but I just don’t want one 😭

@EmpressaurusKittyI just can’t understand why there isn’t a fund, particularly as they are such a huge threat to wildlife, why do we want them multiplying?

Do you want her? I’ll give her to you!

Happy to keep an eye on her, I’d even put a house outside for her. But I work long hours, often away for days, I just can’t be responsible for her. It’s not possible. I don’t want to have a cat in my house recovering after an operation either, I don’t want a cat in my house full stop.

Cat spays aren't like dog spays. It's a very minor, routine operation. She'd ideally stay inside for one night following the op as they get a bit woozy from the anaesthetic but it might be possible for her to board overnight at the vet. After that, she's fine to go back outside. There's no need for a cone or bodysuit post-op. Old-school vets might use them still but cat-specialist vets advise against them unless the cat is attacking her stitches.

Which country are you in? I'm in the UK but my local rescues would be happy to help with the spay costs for someone in this situation while they're on a waiting list.

She's so pretty 😻 I hope so much you can get her spayed and find her a loving home, she's going to make someone a wonderful pet. It's a shame you're not in the UK, I could have helped x

P.S. Thankyou for feeding her. I feel about dogs the same way you feel about cats and would hate to be in this position. You're kind to bring her home after the vet offered to take her in. I'm not sure I would have done the same with a stray dog TBH, even though I would have felt guilty about it.

If I thought she was on Mumsnet I would ask if you were my mum!

This happened to her. She is NOT a cat person. Turned up one day (neutered) became obsessed with her. Catteries full. Constantly on the doorstep, looking in the window, instantly loved my mum. She was grieving her beloved dog. Did not want a pet especially a cat.

The cat now has outside shelter. Access to outhouses and occassional porch access. She is somehow as obsessed with her and she is with my mum! She PRETENDS shes not bothered but she is...

This is what cats do. Its a great club! Welcome 🤣

Bless you OP. I’ve been in this situation, a few times actually!

The first one we kept, the second one was actually a pedigree cat of some sort with that squashed face look so we found a home for him no problem, the third one, I couldn’t get anyone to take.

In the end I turned up at cats protection with him and despite them protesting they were full, I just left him with them. We already made a monthly donation to them and left money on the counter as we walked out. It also cost me the carrier I left him in, I felt terrible, the staff were calling after me as I walked out the door, but I couldn’t take on another cat. So, if you’re absolutely stuck, go to a shelter and leave the cat with them. Leave a donation if you can, although I understand, that’s not your responsibility.

Good luck, don’t feel guilty, I say that as an animal lover. You are trying your best and it’s ok not to want to take on an animal that has found you. It’s not like you want to get rid of a cat you own and have responsibility for!

Cat Tax

Okay, that’s interesting. I’ll ring the vet again next week and see if 1) they can help with the cost and 2) if she’d need a cone etc. after the surgery.

Im Ireland based and my local rescues just said they were full unless it’s an emergency, rang again and was added to a ‘waitlist’ but I’m questioning the existence of the waitlists to be honest. I do know how busy they must be so I understand.

Honestly, she really will make a lovely pet for a cat person, I’m just not a cat person.

When they said they couldn’t guarantee what would happen to her, I just couldn’t leave her there. The thought of a perfectly fine animal being PTS would keep me up at night. I know I might come across a bit cold hearted to some on here, but I’ve rescued all sorts of animals from deathly ill cats, birds, hedgehogs, dogs. I absolutely love animals, but I genuinely don’t have the bandwidth the care for another one right now and I just need to be off the pet train for a while.

Get a scan angel to come and check for microchip for free. This cat has fallen in.love with you, don't reject it. Keep feeding it.

Ah stop, that’s so funny 😅 I’m not sure I’m ready to join that club though!

And I’ve never had a cat, don’t particularly like them. I’ve kept lots and lots of big dogs and small rodents.

Id be happy to put a house outside and feed her, but I can’t take on the responsibility of caring for her. I mean, I assume you can’t just leave a cat for 2/3 days on a regular basis can you? When I went on holiday recently I was gone for nearly 10 days, and she was a state again when I got back.

I agree. Poor thing. Gorgeous cat.

PS, pm where you are in Ireland OP as I’ve got relations and friends there. If near one of them may take her.

You could get an automatic feeder which should cover her for 2/3 days.

It might have to come to this when September comes around again and my work is super busy. It’s not fair on the cat for me to feed it all Summer and then come September not know when I’ll be home again, when it will be fed again. I can’t have it depending on me.

Thanks for understanding x

Rescues will check a microchip for nothing and I think a vet might too. Just ask.

Oh really? I’ll take a look. She’s a bit useless though, we live near a forest with lots of corvids, she won’t fight them off and they come and steal the food if I’m not there to scare them away. Same with the other local cats, she just lays down and lets them eat the food.

Still doesn’t get away from the fact that an animal requires care. If I’m caring for an animal I take it seriously, regular check ups, vaccines, worm and flea dose, not to mind the accidental stuff, this cat arrived to me with its neck in bits, I just don’t want to be responsible, and if the cat is there in front of me in need, I’m not going to be able to not take it to the vet. I just need a break right now 😭