Made a mistake and don’t want a cat!

[DontWantACat]

About a month ago, a young cat turned up in my garden (live rural, lots of farms, horses/livery places, therefore always lots of cats), very skinny and obviously been in some difficulty as its neck was missing loads of hair, had healing cuts on it. Definitely not someone’s pet. I put out water and food for it, it wasn’t in great shape and while I’m really not a cat person, I couldn’t see an animal in difficulty without trying to help. Fed it for a week or so and it hung around, got its strength back.

Went on holiday for 10 days and thought it would break the cycle and the cat would move on again. Nope. The minute I got home it was there. Had lost weight again so I fed it again. And I’ve now been feeding it for 2 weeks.

It’s become completely obsessed with me. If it sees me in the kitchen it’s staring in the window/door, it’s sleeping outside the door every night, if I walk outside it’s walking around my feet. If it sit outside it’s rubbing off me and wrapping its tail round me. Or talking to me and doing the blinky eye thing.

But I don’t want a cat! I lost my last 2 pets about 6 weeks ago and I don’t want the responsibility again for a while. I’m also not really gone on cats, and definitely don’t want one in my house. I also don’t want to be responsible for vet bills and such.

I’ve rang the local rescues, they’re full. Shared in groups I’m part of, no takers.

What do I do? Do I stop feeding it? Will it move on?

Aw, the dead mouse was a gift for you. This cat has obviously chosen you. ❤️

Awww he's chosen you. That's how we got our cat 12 years ago ❤️

@DontWantACat poor cat is not “obsessed” with you… this is cat behaviour towards someone they trust ; the language you use is odd

if you can’t take care of him/her that’s fine, no one is forcing you to take them in.

you seem like a decent human being so at least you can put some food on the side for poor baby when you see them ; you can also put their details down on rescues’ waiting list (that’s how most of them operate)

If it is a female and gets pregnant you will soon have 4-6 more cats in your garden so in my experience it is worth getting this one checked for a chip and if it has no owner, arrange to have it sterilised so that your cat load is at least minimised to one.

Whatever you decide to do, if it's female, get her spayed. I know you don't want to spend money, but it's a one-off and if you care at all about suffering then that one thing will save the suffering of potentially hundreds of kittens. If you only do one charitable thing in your life - make it that.

Take her/him to the vets or local cat rescue

That’s what you took from this? 😅 Sorry, like I said, I’m not a cat person… the cat is constantly staring at me through the windows, talking to me, following me around with its blinky eye behaviour, needs to be always touching me or rubbing off me if I’m outside, doesn’t do the same with DC (hisses at them and runs away)… that to me is obsession 😂 If this is normal cat behaviour, it’s no wonder I’m not a cat person!

As I’ve said, I do put food down for it, but the needy, obsessive behaviour is now grating on me and I don’t want responsibility for another living being right now. I was hoping it would gather its strength and then move on again, particularly as I was away for 10 days.

I wasn’t given the option of a waiting list for any of the rescues I rang, was just told they were full.

@Shedmistress@thecatneutereri completely understand what you’re both saying, but I don’t want to take responsibility for spaying this animal and looking after it while it recovers. There’s countless cats around my area, I can’t just start spaying them all. I do plenty of other charitable things in my life.

I actually don’t even know if it’s a boy or girl. Is it easy to check? Will boys have obvious bits?

If you take it to the local vet and explain it is a stray, they should take it off your hands. Be prepared though that they might keep it a week while they look for an owner and then euthanase it if no owner comes forward.

When a stray turned up at my door, I took it to the vet for scanning. It also needed some treatment for minor injuries. No cost to me. You ring up the RSPCA and they give you a reference number which you give to the vet and the RSPCA pays any necessary costs. The difference was, I wanted to keep the cat but it still had to stay at the vets for a week to ensure no owner came forward. Even as a prospective owner, I was not asked to pay those initial costs.

I emphatically wasn’t a cat person when a very thin little cat appeared in our garden one week, looking sad and hungry. We didn’t feed her to start off with, but she didn’t leave.

3 years later she runs the household. I love her to bits and can’t imagine her not in our lives.

Vets will absolutely do a scan for a microchip for free - and also probably give him/her a quick look over health-wise.

Hoping the cat will be scanned for a child and reunited with it's owner. If you've posted on the local Facebook groups and also lost and found animal groups and no one has turned up id be worried it would just get abandoned. I know you don't want anything else to care for but please make sure this cat finds a place to be fed.

I couldn't edit my mistake!. obviously I meant CHIP not CHILD. Thank you OP for looking out for this kitty hope you find a solution soon xxx

On my local Facebook group for our Village, there’s a lady that has a scanner and will happily come and scan any animal for a chip.

Would it be worth asking on a local group if you have one if someone has a scan scanner and can come and check the cat.

you did a good thing. you are the chosen one. kitty donated you a mouse to thank you. aww 🥰

hes maybe been someones pet and got lost and his collar got stuck on a branch and he nearly hung himself. wee soul. or got attacked by a true feral cat.

cat balls are where dog balls are. youll see them.

sorry for the loss of your last pet. i hope someone rehomed this one if you cannot keep it.

He or she identifies you as 'mum', the giver of food and care. If the cat has been living rough for a while it will be overjoyed that you are providing food. (It brought you a mouse as a present).

It could be a lost or dumped pet so, as others have said, scanning is the way to go.

Vets shouldn't charge for this if you explain it's a stray.

If no chip then I am sure they will know of local cat or animal rescues in your area who will hopefully take puss off your hands and find him / her a home.

@DontWantACat Did you manage to get the cat scanned? Hope she's okay 🐱

Thanks for checking in… took cat to vet and they scanned her for free, no chip unfortunately. Also not spayed.

They said that I can leave her there, but they can’t guarantee what will happen to her and I would have to sign a waiver handing her over for them to take ownership of. They said they’d try and find her a place at a rescue but, as I’ve been continually told, they’re all full. They said it’s unlikely she’d be PTS but they just can’t guarantee.

I’ve put her on every WhatsApp group I’m part of, asked family, friends and neighbours to take her, no takers but they’ve shared with their circles. I’ve a poster in the vets practice. I just don’t know what else I can do.

Still feeding her, she’s getting stronger and more ballsy every day, sleeping outside the door every day and night, but the other local cats do come for her and she’s just not big enough to defend herself.

I just really don’t want a cat. She’s a nice cat, I just want her to go to another home now and not have this responsibility. Come September I’m going to be working away a lot again during the week, I don’t have anyone to feed a cat, and I don’t want to have to organise it. I’m supposed to be on a pet break 😭

The other thing that might work with local independent rescues is asking whether they’ll advertise her for you & vet applicants, in return either for a donation or the adoption fee.

If you cannot find her a home, please please get her spayed or you will have another 10 by this time next year. I know it is expensive but so is feeding 10 more.

I might give them all a call again and ask them. They have me on a waiting list but as she’s not sick, and they’re assuming I’ll just keep feeding her I don’t think they’re going to be rushing to take her. All 5 local to me have turned me down. If they could advertise her for me that would actually be a great help. Could also ask if they could cover the cost of spaying her maybe?

That might be stretching it but can’t hurt to ask.

I know it has to be done, I just don’t want to accept responsibility for this animal. My heart is still broken from my last pet situation and I don’t want to have to nurse an animal after an operation right now. I genuinely don’t have the bandwidth. I’ll ring the rescues again and see if they can cover the spaying, and maybe if they can nurse her after, then advertise her through their channels.

Would it be stretching it? I honestly don’t know. There should be some sort of public service for spaying cats imo.

They might cover the costs
Also they might be more inclined to take a cat surrenderred by a local Vet as they will probably be sending their cats to be neutered by them and the vets will most likely be doing this on a cost price basis .

I must say I am a but jealous , my own cats ( both rescues) won't give me time of day . They love DH and DD so they;re not neglected but I chose them, take them for their vaccines and clean their tray . They just regard me as personna non grata !

@DontWantACat Have you tried contacting Cats Protection? They can often issue vouchers for spaying/neutering and will be able to give you advice. Their Helpline is 03000 12 12 12.