Carry On Catting - the Excellent Cats do what they do best

[TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne]

......... and try to break into the film industry.

It'll be an unlikely success as they'll have to stay awake for long periods while filming goes on.

Well. Unless they decide to make Carry On Sleeping.

Cat Four is a very beautiful cat. I am slightly surprised by how pretty she is. She was a very cute kitten but I had no idea she would turn out so big and majestic.

EmpressaurusKitty: Cats One, Two and Three are all doing well.
Cat Two continues to be aggrieved she has not been able to subjugate Madam the Destroyer and make her understand her place in the pecking order. See photo of stare off which ended when Cat Two decided she would rather snuggle than fight.
We had some major de-hairing of cats and furniture today and washing of anti- fur cloths. Alas, not all of the items made it into the washing machine. Cat One was pushing the covers off the chairs before this.
I have been unwell for ages and have had to handover most of my usual household tasks to Mr.AgentofthePatriarchy. Cat Two has officially transferred her affection to him and I am not impressed.
This is the most elegant Cat Three ever is, God love him. It’s good to see he doesn’t always have to have his head on top.

Cat Four decided to get really long sometime when I wasn’t looking. She is watching Cat Two playing with her favourite toy and thankfully deciding not to take it away from Two.

Snuggling is always the best option. I hope you’re feeling better, @learieonthewildmoor.

Another post hoping you are feeling better @learieonthewildmoor .
Is Cat 4 part- draught excluder?

I'm having problems of my own with a different Agent of the Patriarchy.

This is the widower who I've mentioned a couple of times. His wife (a friend of mine) died in July. Since my husband buggered off, the widower has rather attached himself to me.

And now he's announced he "has feelings for me".

Nooooo. I've got the ick, in advance. I have nothing in common with him.
He's a hoarder, I'm very tidy and minimalist. I don't like his terrible SpAG. He doesn't attract me physically.

His voice does my head in. He has told me he wants to put me on his car insurance "so that I'll have a car again".
How the fuck would that work? Not that I'm going to let him do it.

He's been researching classical concerts for us to go to, even though he doesn't like classical music and he hasn't asked me which composers I like.

He's suggested that we go away for the weekend. No chance.

FFS.

Oh, and he's started volunteering with the dementia choir which I conduct, despite having no interest in singing (or dementia).

God, Broon, that sounds very tedious. Can you get Gizmo to bite him?

(Loving the further adventures of Cat 4 and that she is so beautiful that it is simply impossible to hold her misdeeds against her)

Oh lordy, not an ideal situation. Especially as he's been so useful taking you places in his car, you don't want to completely lose that "perk" but the price could be just too high to pay.

You're going to have to tell him the old "it's not you it's me" thing and say you're so traumatised by the ex leaving that you couldn't cope with even a platonic relationship at the moment. You may also be able to drop in the odd suggestion that maybe his "feelings" are related to how much he is missing his wife and is looking at you as a link to her - probably bollocks, but needs must & all that.

Allergic, I think I love you.

Nailed it, as usual.

I've already told him I'm going to contact my errant husband (I've found out his address, no thanks to the DC, but ex is a techno-fuckwit).

Widower was startled by this news. I honestly think he thought I was falling for him. Ugh.

If necessary, I'll tell him I'm still in lurve with my husband.

Do you know something - the Widower brought me round a load of biscuits, then refused to let me keep the Ginger Nuts when I told him that they'd been husband's favourites "in case he came back".

WTF was that all about? Jealous of a man who has moved out? When the Widower is not my partner, boyfriend, lover or Significant Other? Won't leave a packet of fucking biscuits in case his "rival" eats them?

ARGH

And he doesn't swear.

He said Damn the other day, and apologised immediately.

You'd think he'd failed to notice my own highly colourful language.

HIGHLY colourful.

God, Broon, that sounds very tedious. Can you get Gizmo to bite him?

I'll tell Gizmo to be nice to him.
That should do it, as we all know the perversity of the feline species..........

I'll see if I can get Gizmo to have sex with him.
That would put anyone off.

@TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne you're a heartbreaker 😁

Tonight, Raven and Toad decided to be loving but Ghostie chose violence.

💐 Deepest sympathy Broon. Have no useful advice. Will hope that Gizmo takes a firm dislike to him and he will thus be too frightened to enter your house.

I am indeed helpless before Cat Four’s beauty and let her get away with everything I got in a twist when Cats One and Two did them.
(Thanks for the well wishes Empress and Pud.)

WTF was that all about? Jealous of a man who has moved out? When the Widower is not my partner, boyfriend, lover or Significant Other? Won't leave a packet of fucking biscuits in case his "rival" eats them?

Yep, got it in one there Broon. Even if he didn't "have feelings" men can be very territorial about the women in their lives. I had an ex who I was incredibly close friends with, in a platonic and fraternal type manner only afterwards, but he would get insanely jealous if I had a BF even though he didn't want me in that way any more and even when he had a GF.

With a few notable exceptions, the majority of men can be very primitive in their emotions! 😆

Apologies Broon I'm really not equipped to give advice on this issue - but you have my sympathy.

Meanwhile here is a photo of Lenny surveying his kingdom this morning (and yes I know that the top step and the front needs to be weeded...)

Are you feeling any better @learieonthewildmoor?

We need to reinstate the Longest Cat Competition methinks.

@learieonthewildmoor Hope you feel better soon and that the cats all look after you

@TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne Even if you were interested you would have to have a rethink if being wooed with biscuits is his level (minus gingernuts). It is hardly being whisked away to Paris with Champagne is it?

Do you know something - the Widower brought me round a load of biscuits,

Ahhh, the fattening you up so you can't run (and too fat to catch the eyes of others) ploy. Be very careful. He's hobnobbing you 👀

@TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne tell him you are no-ones 'nanny with a fanny' or 'nurse with a purse'.
Amazing how so many men (yes NAMALT) who just assume if they have an interest in a woman, it simply must be reciprocated, for no reason other than they have expressed an interest....

It's good to let early flowering plants, like dandelions, grow as they provide nectar for early pollinators.
Though maybe not so good if those early pollinators are munched on by the local felines...

GT taking advantage of our patio enjoying the sun this afternoon

Eccles Cakes, too.
🤣

He wants to take me out for dinner.
I'd have to listen to him for hours.
I prefer a quick cup of tea and a biscuit.

Now come on Broon - talk about drip feeding...
If you'd mentioned Eccles' cakes earlier Ithe advice would have completely different 🤣.

Just a though but do you think a ginger thug might keep unwanted suitors away?