The Excellent Cats welcome the new year by planning an expedition in search of 'She who must not be named'

[Grumpyoldpersonwithcats]

Carried forward from the previous thread.
www.mumsnet.com/talk/the_litter_tray/5440081-prison-dramas-bands-and-ouija-boards-the-excellent-cats-audition-sing-and-plot?page=1

Lenny however needs a rest before he starts searching.

Thinking of you & your DS, Broon.

Best wishes to you and your son @TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne

@TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne we are all wishing the best for you

I am 6 days in and still have her hiding behind the chests of drawers in the bay window.
She is coming out to eat and loves tuna, lickelicks and roast chicken, but by goodness can she move fast to get back to her safe hiding place if you go in while she is eating
I go and sit on the bed in the room and read and speak to her
I think she ignores this although she sometimes looks at me
We get a bit of blinking
Any tips please and when should we let her loose on the whole house?

And yes the outside windowsill of the room she is in needs sanding and sorting

Thank you all for your good wishes.

DS2 regained sensation in his legs and was sent home from Paisley in a taxi paid for by the hospital. Wow. 100 miles in a taxi at night! That must have cost a fortune.

Anyway, still no diagnosis, but he'll be followed up in the out-patients' neurology department.
That will cost the NHS another fortune in transporting him there and back. Oh well. You'd think they'd have had a neurology consultant or registrar available to assess him while he was still there. It seems mad to have sent him home, only to bring him back to OPD.

Hmm. Still, he's happy to be back, but I'm worried, because he lives up several flights of stairs, which are impossible to navigate when you're paralysed (which is what's happening intermittently).

@Breadcat24 honestly, I wouldn't worry about Micia.
It all sounds very normal, and she's eating, which is very important.

Gizmo wants to move in with you. He's heard about the endless bowls of roast chicken and has lodged a complaint to me about the quality of his food here.

Cheek.

Seriously @Breadcat24 I'd leave the doors open now and see if she explores.

Cats are very quick to figure out if someone reliable is going to provide a regular supply of food. It always takes them a while to decide if the reliable person is "safe" (in their view).

I think she'll decide that you and Mr. B. are good people who love her, pretty soon.

Talking of husbands - I'm annoyed with DD2 because she won't give me Mr. Broon's address and phone number. I don't understand why she's protecting him like this, and we're at an impasse over it. Advice, anyone?
Allergic? You're generally spot-on.
But anybody - why am I so furious and why won't she tell me?

@TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne
Thank goodness your son could come back home.
Really you would think they would be a bit on it more with tests etc to see what was causing this!!!
If Gizmo wants a roast chicken holiday he is welcome
It is difficult having a cat so afraid, but we will keep trying.
At least she is eating well.

Kitty would like a roast chicken holiday too. I think she’s trying to find her way north.

Broon, if DD2’s promised her dad that she won’t give you his details I don’t think it’s fair to try to get her to break her word. You’re thoroughly justified in being furious with him but she must feel torn between the two of you.

You could hire a private detective but I’ve probably thought of that because I’m re-reading the Strike & Ellacott books. What does she say about why she won’t tell you, and what do your other DCs say?

By the window that needs Sanding

struggling to post pics

Sybil caught a rare bit of sun yesterday.
The boys are all very grumpy because the weather is shit and it's obviously my fault.

Micia is a very pretty cat @Breadcat24. 😻

@Grumpyoldpersonwithcats I wish she liked me tho

Kitty seems to think that if she waits a couple of minutes & then asks to go out again the weather will have improved.

We used to have a thing where breadcat used to think there would be different weather at the front and back of the house.
Either way bad weather was our fault!

She will in time. (when she decides to).

Glad your son's home Broon, though I'm sorry that he still doesn't have a diagnosis.

I have a chicken in the oven right now Gizmo and Kitty would be welcome to join us for dinner. I'm waiting for Boris to smell that there's chicken in there and start pestering me.

I'm sure Micia will settle in soon, she is very beautiful.

Foster Cat got "done" today. She was an absolute angel at the vet (after yowling all the way there) and they seemed like they were tempted to keep her! She's now zonked out on my knee... I will miss her 😥

@Breadcat24 Micia is such a cutie. Do you know exactly how old she is?

@Kirova Hi no they are doing a best guess at 1 year old. But she was a stray so no real info

Oh, I thought she was younger! It will take time, then... But she is going to love you when she relaxes a bit.

I just love Gizmo. He's such a character.

why am I so furious and why won't she tell me?
Ah Broon , like others I think DD has been asked/has promised to keep exH details private, and she is trying to keep faith with you both;
As to why you are so angry: are you angry with your DD? If so, maybe because she won't 'give' it is perhaps threatening how you saw your relationship together?
If you are angry with exH, it did sound like the ending was abrupt and maybe you want closure which you can't have because you can't contact him?
On a purely personal note, to me, it was a righteous feeling when I ended a long-term relationship, and yet even though it's what I wanted, I was indignant that my ex also didn't want any contact. I felt like shouting 'but I'm the injured party you cheating a-hole! It's my high ground!'
Wild card thought: is the anger displaced worry about DS?
Good luck, and remember you have supportive friends 💐

When mine were up for adoption I found it always helped if I knew who was coming next. Although I did cry when some of them left.

As @EmpressaurusKitty said, ExH probably made her promise not to tell you (possibly because he knew that would drive you mad), so she's in that awful position of trying not to take sides. Doesn't by any means suggest he comes before you, but I'd guess you brought her up "proper like" so if she's made a promise to him she won't want to break it. Plus of course if she tells you and he finds out, that could ruin the relationship and though you don't give a flying one if he gets hurt by that, you would care if it made DD2 unhappy and feeling guilt ridden.

Somewhere deep in the back of your mind is the idea that as he was the one who wronged you, he has no right to have secrets or even a good relationship with the children. I can completely understand that but where it doesn't directly impact you, you don't really have that right. Yes it's impacted you indirectly by him not being available e.g. when your DS first lost the use of his legs, but you were the one DS went to for help not him despite DS knowing ExH has the car not you.

To turn your rage into something more enjoyable & productive, look on his trying to keep you in the dark as very childish behaviour. That's the only power he has over you, how absolutely pathetic, weak and inadequate he is!