Returning new kittens - why didn't this work?

[FindingTheBalance]

This morning my husband and I had a long discussion and the conclusion is that our 8 month old kittens, who joined us five weeks ago, have to go back to the rescue. 😫

I feel really flat. And also confused how other families have kittens and kids at the same time.

Our kids aren't really young. They're 7 and 9 but they still have toys. The last five weeks has involved cats chewing houseplants, toys, one eating Lego, cats chewing the kids shoes, cats chewing the kids blankets and clothes. No matter how often I ask the kids to tidy stuff away they forget and leave stuff out.

Our kittens do have periodontal disease, which may explain the chewing, but reading online it sounds like the majority of rescue cats have this.

One is slightly incontinent too and often doesn't know he's goings (mostly poo but if we let him on the sofa wee stains appear too.).

My husband has rightly pointed out we can't have poo and wee everywhere and that the surfaces are covered in cat litter dust. The cats drop their food everywhere when eating probably because of the dental disease. They're restricted to one room because they chew everything.

Over five weeks I've done numerous vet visits, bought everything going to help tackle the dental disease, read and read and read cat forums for advice. My husband says it's taken over my life and I'm neglecting the kids, him, my health and the house. He's not wrong, it's like making the cat situation work has become an obsession for me.

So that's that. It's not working. But I don't get how others get it to work.

Kittens really are not easy. They’re very very vulnerable more so then puppies and they can get sick very easily especially when stressed I.e. changing their home.

i would start introducing them to more then one room.

Those are all very valid points. But I just wanted to say that the rescue did cover the cost of the operation.

I had kittens several times - none had the same problems you are describing: some had problems getting used to the litter tray, but it only lasted a day or so; none were incontinent; none left food everywhere, or chewed anything. The only problem I had was kittens climbing on curtains and scratching my sofa. It sounds like the ones you got are very unwell, its unfair you were not told - but you should absolutely return them if you cant cope, it sounds like a nightmare.

How many cats did you get? Sounds like more than 2? Why so many? Maybe keep just one? It should be easier.

The vet thought one of my girls had blocked anal glands and squeezed them - that was fun! - but it turns out no, she just likes to wipe her arse on the carpet, like a dog might do!

She wasn't smelly, just scooting.

There's no shame in giving them back if you really can't cope, OP.

But with the pooing, that suggests potential litter box issues. Do you have at least 3 boxes for the two kittens? Are they all open boxes, and extra large? Most cats prefer open, extra large boxes and they should be cleaned multiple times a day or at least twice a day at any rate (every time for poos.

Have you tried having the litter boxes in different places? If they have an accident somewhere it's good to put a box in that location as they associate it with that.

I suspect the chewing is linked to their gum disease and diet, which is why I asked what you're feeding them.

Although dietary changes for kittens should be managed gradually, if they're not eating properly due to their gums then it's worth exploring alternatives. Eg if they're on wet food, then try supplementing with cat soup.

The chewing could also be to relieve soreness so I'd look to provide them with things they can chew safely. Chews aren't usually sold for cats so I'd even consider ones designed for puppies - just check with the vet first.

How do I cat proof those rooms though? The playroom contains kids toys, the hallway my husband's cricket kit, the porch so many shoes, each bedroom has soft furnishings alongside kids toys in the kids bedrooms, the living room has ornaments that they've chewed, and often the kids leave toys and clothes in there despite asking them not to. That's where I hit a mental block, how do I cat proof those additional rooms?

My family has had 50 years of rescue cats (8 in total) and 0% of those issues. No chewing, no gum disease, no incontinence. Litter tray is kept away from rest of house in utility room, cats are indoor/outdoor so mostly go outside anyway. I think you got unlucky with those kitties.

Sorry, off topic, but your cat sounds like a total legend!

Did the rescue not cover a couple of weeks to get you started with cat insurance? Most do.

So they aren't even insured, so all of these issues are now pre-existing and will never be covered? The rescue has really messed up!

I adopted a feral kitten many years ago, he was a bit fierce and took chunks out of visitors and used to shin up the curtains like a little ginger demon but he was so easy to litter train and only did the sort of furniture scratching that almost all cats do. He was always a bit unpredictable and skittish. These kittens sound like they have significant health and behavioural issues, no wonder the OP is struggling with them. Kittens are a handful but it should be fun having them around and this sounds very stressful for all concerned

Your first cat died from “an accident”. What? You have very young children. You are understandably struggling with the health issues of these kittens. Your setup really isn’t ideal for dealing with young kittens anyway. You must get in contact with the rescue. The kittens should be rehomed with someone who can give them the specialised care they need. Their health problems aren’t typical which is not your fault. Strongly suggest you cover the cost of their upkeep until they find new homes. And don’t get another pet until your children are older and you can make your home safer for pets and avoid accidents.

I missed your question, sorry.

They're on a mix of wet and dry food although I'm gradually moving the dry food over to Hills Science Plan for dental disease. I don't want to remove the wet food in case boy cat gets constipated and it makes the pooing worse.

I did randomly buy puppy chews after seeing a behaviourist recommend it on YouTube. They also have catnip chew toys that clean plaque off of the teeth.

I've not heard of cat soup. Is that available from pet shops/online? Is that just easier for them to eat?

Yes... And I've had 4 kittens from between 3 and 8 weeks that haven't behaved like this.

OP got her kittens at 8 months old. So whilst she (didn't) miss the sleepless nights etc, she wasn't there in their early days to love and guide them.

I can well imagine she's had enough!

Yes, she was found dead on our patio with internal bleeding. It was horrific. The vet suspected poisoning maybe from antifreeze.

My house had nothing to do with her death and that assumption has upset me.

I agree though, I am struggling to make my house kitten proof.

I really don't think you have read everything the OP has written. It is clearly not normal for an 8 month old kitten to walk around pooing randomly.

Ah, I really feel for you. I ‘adopted’ a cat in a slightly more unorthodox way (in that I kept passing her on the street, and fell in love with her, so let her inside with me one day and she stayed) but once I had done, it turned out that she had pretty bad peridontal disease and was doing some wild chewing as a result.

Since I was no way gonna go back on letting her stay once she’d made my place her home, although I really wanted to at times of massive destruction haha - I also went through a period of extreme wrecking of all chewable things. Always dropping food too because of the little mouth adjustments when eating it. She’s right as rain now - for this reason if you do you have a change of heart and decide to keep them despite their impacts (and they are healthy enough) I recommend pushing for a full clean under sedation and extraction if needed, rather than wasting time with topical ointment they will just drool off.

Sometimes these dental issues can have knock on gastro ones too so maybe a combo of being poorly, scared, unsettled is causing the poo situ as well? I once had a pooey kitten who did grow out of it the end. Only the vet can advise really, I feel for you a lot as this can definitely be very overwhelming.

But fundamentally - it really is reasonable if you decide not to. As many have said, the rescue should have spotted these issues beforehand for sure. I’d be worried about either the rescue or the foster’s due diligence tbh. Ultimately neither of these are down to you to resolve though. If it just aint working it just aint working, and thats on them for not being transparent from the start. It’s clear how much effort you’ve put in.

I have had kittens. They are mental. Climbing up walls and curtains. Hiding and hunting your feet as you walk past. Zooming around. But never had to worry about them ingesting Lego or chewing.

More like worrying about them shredding you or something else, knocking something over or falling down the back of something and getting squashed or strangled.

You should also not be worrying about incontinence and dental disease / oral surgeries at 8 months.

It’s sad but these aren’t normal kitten challenges.

I agree completely.

How many cat litter trays do you have? You need 1 per a cat, if you don’t have 1 per a cat accidents will happen. so I would start with making sure there is enough litter trays, then also what cat litter are you using? Some cats can be very particular and it is trial and error to know which one suits them best.

are the cat litters in more quiet places?

same with the food bowls, are they in a quiet place. Taking food out and dropping it but not eating it does show the cats are not feeling secure enough to be eat.

if you don’t want cats on the counter use a spray bottle with water, spray them just once quickly every time they jump up. They will soon learn not to do it.

Don’t lock them in one room it will make them worse when they come out in regards to the toys, they are kittens and like puppies extremely curious, they will play and they will chew.

to stop scratching - that will be a forever thing with some cats but again a spray bottle can help or physically picking them up and taking them to their scratch posts when they do it.

put cat nip on their scratch posts to attract them.

its only been 5 weeks and they are babies at 8 months.

a lot of what you have described is kitten/cat behaviour. Our cat is 12 and will still go for wires if we leave them out.

They persevere. Really you should have thought this through. Poor kittens. I’ve had cats for 30 years. You don’t give up so easily. Terrible. This is what kittens do. One of mine is currently chasing a fake mouse found in circles. Please don’t get anymore pets. They are not ornaments programmed to do what you wish, nor do I believe that are peeing everywhere unless you don’t have a tray. This is the youngest that can leave their mother. Please take them to the shelter and please please don’t get anymore for their sake.

@FindingTheBalance yes cat soup should be sold in most shops alongside the normal cat food. It's just wetter/sloppier...well, soup! It might be worth a try but kittens do have sensitive tummies so I'd keep an eye on your incontinent one and introduce gradually.

You can also buy cat mousse, pricey, or pate-style food which might be easier for them (gourmet do both I think).

I have a cat who was hand-reared who has the habit of pawing food out the bowl and dropping it on the floor next to it. Seems to have stopped in the last year since finding a wet food she really enjoys.

I might have missed in your initial posts, but has vet checked bloods for deficiencies? Given the chewing + gum disease I think it's worth it.

Shut them out of the kitchen when you're preparing food, I think I read they get on the counter which shouldn't be allowed. Some people disagree but a little squirt of water can be very effective!

I'm sorry OP that sounds such hard work and not at all what you'd expect with kittens. We got a kitten when the kids were 9 and 11 and had no problem with toys. She was exhausting (had to sleep in our room and woke us up loads for the first month or so) but adorable and no chewing, feeding or toileting issues. Just very playful and naughty and cute. I think you've been unlucky they have these health problems and I'd be tempted to give them back too, honestly, it's more than I could handle.

It sounds like these aren’t normal kittens though? We adopted 14 week old kittens when my kids were 2 and 5 and I don’t remember any of this. They didn’t chew toys etc. we did keep them contained in the kitchen the first week and then they had the run of the house. But just easy to look after.

i agree that its a lot to handle but also I am not sure that the OP's family is the best place for unwell kittens.