Returning new kittens - why didn't this work?

[FindingTheBalance]

This morning my husband and I had a long discussion and the conclusion is that our 8 month old kittens, who joined us five weeks ago, have to go back to the rescue. 😫

I feel really flat. And also confused how other families have kittens and kids at the same time.

Our kids aren't really young. They're 7 and 9 but they still have toys. The last five weeks has involved cats chewing houseplants, toys, one eating Lego, cats chewing the kids shoes, cats chewing the kids blankets and clothes. No matter how often I ask the kids to tidy stuff away they forget and leave stuff out.

Our kittens do have periodontal disease, which may explain the chewing, but reading online it sounds like the majority of rescue cats have this.

One is slightly incontinent too and often doesn't know he's goings (mostly poo but if we let him on the sofa wee stains appear too.).

My husband has rightly pointed out we can't have poo and wee everywhere and that the surfaces are covered in cat litter dust. The cats drop their food everywhere when eating probably because of the dental disease. They're restricted to one room because they chew everything.

Over five weeks I've done numerous vet visits, bought everything going to help tackle the dental disease, read and read and read cat forums for advice. My husband says it's taken over my life and I'm neglecting the kids, him, my health and the house. He's not wrong, it's like making the cat situation work has become an obsession for me.

So that's that. It's not working. But I don't get how others get it to work.

Because I feel like I should be able to cope. Some people have also commented saying the chewing is normal, which is the main behavioural issue for us. The pooing is a bit revolting but at the moment just a little bit every other day.

What was the history of these kittens so far as the rescue knew it? I would never ever normally suggest returning a cat because when I commit to a kitty, it's forever in my book.

However, as others have said, there's something badly amiss with these kittens. What does the vet say? Is it fixable or is there something underlying all of them? Could they have a generalised health condition and these behaviours are symptomatic?

You're not getting any joy out of these cats and it's not fair on your family or them.

It's not you. You've adopted the wrong cats. I would never adopt a kitten again cute as they are. You should have adopted a slightly older one as you did last time. That worked for you. My current three rescues were 5 years, 18 months and 18 months respectively when we adopted them and they have fitted in perfectly. They are 8, 4 and 3 now and they still love to play!

Let the rescue figure out what's wrong - did they never have the kittens health-checked by a vet before rehoming them? Then you could think about adopting a cat that's suitable for your family.

@FindingTheBalance is it juvenile onset periodontal disease? I would be worried about systemic illness as this can be associated with viral infection/ immune issues or other serious health issues…..these sound like poorly cats and as such there is a responsibility of a rescue to make sure adoptive owners know what they are letting themselves in for. None of what you are experiencing is normal for this age group, many of us love cats because they are very very easy pets!

It’s just these kittens are hard. I’ve always thought kittens were easy until our last one. He was a rescue but unfortunately weaned too early and I’ve given up home of him ever having normal bowels. I spent a few weeks crying with how much time I spent cleaning up poo. He’s finally settled and thankfully toilets outside but it was an eye opener is the fact that not all kittens are created equally and some are really just hard work

My boy cat used to poo everywhere until I changed his diet - they only eat the pure meat stuff now and his gut issues have completely cleared up.

Then I would have expected the rescue to know more about them. When did they first put them up for rehoming?

It's not that you "shouldn't be struggling". You are.

Kittens from rescue shelters are usually snapped up by new owners as soon as they reach the magic 10 weeks. They have people practically queuing up for kittens. So... what was it about these two kittens? Why weren't they rehomed until they were much older?

I'm with other pp's in suspecting that the rescue shelter is not being entirely honest with you. It appears that they were not vet checked before discharge, because that dental issue should have been diagnosed before you got them.

And - erm - have they even been neutered? They should have been by now.

We rescued an elderly cat with 2 teeth. On the way out they said 'oh yeah' he's gluten free. I scoffed at this- a bloody cat, gluten free?! Turned out he would spray shite like a fire hose unless he was on gluten free food, which COST A FORTUNE! Maybe your kitten has an issue with his food?

Although we loved our old boy dearly, I'm still annoyed that they didn't tell us until we had signed everything. It's the main reason I won't get another one as money is too tight at the moment.

It is one of the most renowned and well thought of rescues locally. Both myself and my friends have adopted cat from them previously. They're honestly really thorough. I don't know how this slipped through but I've reported it all back.

Yes, there's no way the boy cat didn't have these dental issues before we got him. It was very advanced.

Mostly chewing. I've seen one piece of Lego and cardboard and paper go in before I've managed to stop it. But otherwise, just chewing.

We have an 8 month old girl adopted at 10 weeks from CP. She's got digestive issues, and is on special food, but still has a runny tummy occasionally and a few accidents on the carpet. We have literally spent the last 6 months saying "where's the cat"? so she doesn't bolt out the front door.

One pair of curtains is in rags, she has scratching posts and boards, lots of toys and plenty of interaction from me and DD. The carpet around the bedroom doors is threadbare from her scratching to get in (that's a firm no, I'm not prepared to sacrifice bedding and upholstered beds to her claws).

My (thankfully) old leather sofa is full of pin prick holes and scratches, as is one of my walls where ages taken a fancy to the wallpaper 🤦🏻‍♀️

She jumps up on the worktops in the kitchen so I shut her out whilst I'm preparing food. I've never used so much antibacterial spray! She's a scavenger. She will try and chew through any food in packaging or left overs.

I guess what I'm saying is that's part and parcel of having a kitten. They eat and destroy things, they have sharp teeth and nails. Everything is an adventure for them. I can't imagine having more than one at this age tbh.

Have they been FeLV/FIV tested?

And those saying the chewing and pooing is normal have clearly never met a normal cat. Incontinence is basically unknown except in the very old or very young. Or the very pissed off cat but that’s directed not done whilst walking round

Cats with severe periodontal disease may experience:

• Reduced appetite or difficulty eating:Pain and inflammation in the mouth can make it difficult for cats to eat, leading to decreased appetite and potentially, weight loss.
• Gastrointestinal upset: In some cases, the inflammation and bacteria associated with periodontal disease can extend beyond the mouth and affect the digestive system, potentially causing gastrointestinal upset and changes in bowel movements.

^ Why isn’t the vet addressing the issue? The cats won’t get better if left untreated. It sounds like your spending lots of money but perhaps need to see another vet.

That must have been a shock to see. I feel for you.

Maybe, it could be many things. It needs investigating properly. We assumed he was just settling in and nervous pooing. Then I spoke to Cats Protection and they asked if he hiding or not eating or not playing, and I said, nope, these cats have been out and about since day 3. So it's probably not stress pooing.

I'm sorry that it's made it harder for you to get the second cat you wanted. Your rescue sounds cheeky. Ours were really surprised when we told them about the issues.

The vet is addressing the dental disease. We have a paste for that and three monthly monitoring. However, I only just mentioned the I've cat pooing at our last check up and he said to monitor and come back if it continued. I didn't realise it could be linked to the dental disease, thank you.

I agree with the many posters who are saying the rescue have let you down big time here. These are not typical kitten or cat behaviours. I've owned cats all my life pretty much, including 2 rescues, and never had issues with chewing.

I'm sure a responsible rescue would never have rehomed them to you.

I don't think so. The vet suspected calcivirus as the cause of the dental issues.

I did the same, rehomed a 5 year old and had no chewing issues

I apologise OP.

I was ready to come on here and lambast you (in my own mind, not in an actual post) because you were being ridiculous giving up kittens after 5 weeks.

but then you drop incontinence. No. Can’t have that around children (or at all) and the reason for their chewing likely being periodontal disease. I have three cats and kids and they’re best friends, no problems at all.

I don’t judge you at all!

I was the same!

I think the rescue need to have a chat with the foster parent. Some are so cat obsessed they tolerate poor behaviours because they don’t want to make the cat unadoptable. They should have tried to home these around 12 weeks. But instead they were more than twice that. Which is weird unless there’s been another failed adoption first.

That sounds exactly like our three. I was told having multiple cats can help as they play with each other rather than the furnishings, and I do wonder if our house would be in a worse state with one of them. But we also have one pair of curtains shredded completely on the back.

How go you stop yours getting to your daughter's toys? I'm keeping ours in one room, and a big room, but it doesn't seem fair.

Take the cats back to the rescue tomorrow. They are unwell and were unwell when you first had them- the rescue people have let you and the cats down.

I’ve always had cats and while they are complete dicks (said with affection) I’ve never known them chew things.

Thank you for being understanding. I am not being understanding with myself, I'm constantly berating myself for struggling.

To be honest, the incontinence was the last straw for my husband and what made him sit down with he and say, "this can't go in."

I should do what others are saying and accept it.

But I want a bloody solution, damn it!