Returning new kittens - why didn't this work?

[FindingTheBalance]

This morning my husband and I had a long discussion and the conclusion is that our 8 month old kittens, who joined us five weeks ago, have to go back to the rescue. 😫

I feel really flat. And also confused how other families have kittens and kids at the same time.

Our kids aren't really young. They're 7 and 9 but they still have toys. The last five weeks has involved cats chewing houseplants, toys, one eating Lego, cats chewing the kids shoes, cats chewing the kids blankets and clothes. No matter how often I ask the kids to tidy stuff away they forget and leave stuff out.

Our kittens do have periodontal disease, which may explain the chewing, but reading online it sounds like the majority of rescue cats have this.

One is slightly incontinent too and often doesn't know he's goings (mostly poo but if we let him on the sofa wee stains appear too.).

My husband has rightly pointed out we can't have poo and wee everywhere and that the surfaces are covered in cat litter dust. The cats drop their food everywhere when eating probably because of the dental disease. They're restricted to one room because they chew everything.

Over five weeks I've done numerous vet visits, bought everything going to help tackle the dental disease, read and read and read cat forums for advice. My husband says it's taken over my life and I'm neglecting the kids, him, my health and the house. He's not wrong, it's like making the cat situation work has become an obsession for me.

So that's that. It's not working. But I don't get how others get it to work.

I would say you've been pretty unlucky there. We have two British shorthair kittens and they've been great (they're now nearly 2yo). One had bad diarrhoea for a few months which involved back and forth trips to the vet and was expensive to treat (luckily had insurance) but we all love them to bits. But they've never chewed anything. They have a large cat tower that they claw but they don't claw the sofas. I find cats really easy personally - would never have another dog. I think you'd find if you persevered they'd settle down but it depends how much you're determined to make it work.

I’ve had loads of kittens in my life and never had any that sound as hard work as these - this isn’t normal at all - gum disease, needing surgery on their teeth, incontinence - what an absolute nightmare. Don’t blame you for sending them back to the rescue - they shouldn’t have rehomed them with such serious health issues without warning you.

One of my cats has ibd. It sucks!

Poops on a puppy pad in the bathroom. I find poop smears lots of places.

I bought an automatic litter box which helps. I have three cats and one is a new kitten I rescued from outside.

I find not having to deal with litter makes it easier for me to handle the poop issues.

She’s now on special food that costs $100 for a small bag. I can’t imagine not having her but all things considered it’s challenging especially since I’m a clean freak.

The chewing sounds dental related. They sound unwell unfortunately. I’m so sorry. 😢

This is not like anything I’ve ever heard. We have 3 cats (one is offspring of the other). At one point we had 2 adult cats and 5 kittens in the house and never experienced what you have described or anything even vaguely close to it. 7 was a bit much but manageable. They all fed by the bowls. Used their litter trays. Never ate a toy or tried to. The end.

oh and I had a 3 and 6 year old.

seriously I don’t care what anyone says here that is not normal at all.

They had an absolute rubbish start at life. Hand reared as their mother already had a litter when she came into the rescue. And four of their littermates didn't make it. The foster carers spent a lot of time and effort keeping them alive.

I think they were so old when put up for adoption because they wanted to make sure the cats were going to survive and thrive.

So we didn't know they had existing health issues but maybe, in hindsight, we should have suspected they would have based on their first few months. I don't know enough about cats to know if that's true.

Yes, all neutered, vaccinated and chipped.

They were apparently vet checked too, 15 days before we adopted them.

DD is 15 so no toys except lego which is kept out of cats way. She has a penchant for hair bobbles and clips which she carries around and drops all over the place. Phone charger leads are her prey of choice, so theyre always unplugged when not being used.

The curtains are now hooked up out of the way during the day and drawn at night when she is out of the room. Fortunately we live in an old house with doors in each room (rather than open plan) so it's easier to contain her to the kitchen, lounge and dining room during the day and on the upstairs landing at night where her bed is. She can still access the kitchen for her litter tray and water at night but no other rooms.

Op I remember your previous thread. This doesn't feel sustainable and your children particularly need your support. Just send them back (from an avid cat obsessive)

I've been around masses and masses of kittens - my parents used to breed Siamese.

Siamese kittens are a flipping nightmare and I was generally pretty glad to wave them off to their new homes at 14 weeks, but none of them, and none of the ones we kept (all our cats were pets first and breeding was for fun rather than profit) were anything like you have described. They were more just into everything - none were chewers though.

My sister got two new kittens (both high maintenance breeds) last year and one has had a few vet trips, and they are very demanding, and she has young kids. Again don't chew things except their own toys, and none of the food or poop issues.

I think you have been incredibly unlucky and the rescue have let you down very badly. Kittens are exhausting, but not like this!

Our indoor cat gave birth days before I gave birth and my 6 year old was over the moon. Totally made a mistake not getting her neutered.
it was so hard! I feel your pain. If it’s not right it’s not right. Do what is best for your family.

It sounds like you've had a really bad experience, kittens chewing everything and incontinence isn't normal - plus 3 is a lot too take on in one go. I wouldn't have an uncovered litter tray in the kitchen/diner but otherwise I don't think you've done anything wrong. I think if you're going to take on three rescue 8 month old kittens at once - well there is more a risk of them having issues compared to say having 1 or 2 that are 2-3 months old and coming from a family home.

I have rehomed kittens, fostered them (currently a mum and 3 babies) and have 3 cats of my own - I've never felt the need to separate them to one room (unless new-borns) I think you've been really unlucky.

What food are they eating?

Our youngest boy when he first came had theeeee most stinky poos. The little get would drop one when I was in a work meeting and couldn't retrieve it and my eyes were watering!

I fed him Scrumbles dry and it was a game-changer! Firmed and de-stank the poo considerably. He's long-haired and regularly had to have his shitty bum cleaned. Took him off Dreamies too as they didn't agree with his tummy either. He doesn't like wet food.

Sounds like the incontinent one has tummy issues? If you're determined to try, I'd recommend Scrumbles. The supermarkets have them, £7.50 a bag but I bulk buy when on offer for £5/6 which they often are. He likes some of the Scrumbles treats (he will not even sniff Niblets!) and MrPickles from Pets at Home which is 79p a packet.

@Canthave2manycats makes a good point, too many dreamies can cause upset tummies, I don't buy them at all - leftover chicken / ham are probably better imho.

It seems like the rescue has not Been honest with you .

@FindingTheBalance Where in the country are you?
My Mum died yesterday so we need to find a home for her 2 4yo fluffy farm cats, Cleo and Luna... My frazzled devastated brain thought I should say that here for some reason. The only care they need is feeding and loving and they are 'normal cats as in litter trained, neutered, healthy etc

We have just finished fostering 2 kittens, 2 "teenagers" and 1 older cat together as they were a family. The kittens were hard work but mainly because they were flying through the air and wanting to scratch anything that moved on the TV. They didn't chew anything at all. So that part sounds related to the illness they have. Is there maybe more you can do with their health there, or some kind of homemade soothing treatment approved for cats equivalent to a toddler teething thing?

The litter dust problem is easily solved by buying crystal silicone litter. It also has the advantage that it doesn't smell.

I know how hard it is some days, we found that going out and having someone catsit, even just a friend (lots of people are very keen to spend time with kittens but not own them) made a big difference to our stress levels. We also found that with supervision, the kids and kittens could wear each other out appropriately by playing and everyone would fall asleep in a pile at the end so that was nice.

Also invest in a lot of puppy pads.

Whaddya mean "leftover" lol? I have an 8 year old princess who has batches of chicken breasts cooked specially and frozen until needed. She likes Dreamies too though, but omg she is the most barfy cat! I had two barfers before, and I think it's just what she does. I was banned from giving her tuna which she also loves because my DDs reckon it made her barf more - hence the chicken! - but I don't think it makes a difference tbh.

All three of mine love freeze dried chicken even the two eejits that won't eat it fresh!

I'm sorry to hear you've had challenges too. I'm impressed you've kept going. I want to be like you but I might be taking it too far as it's affecting my human family.

My husband is also a bit of clean freak and he doesn't want to come home some days or will sit in his car on the drive for ten minutes before entering the house to face it. I want so much to make it so he can enjoy the house and we have the cats but I just can't work out how.

The automatic litter box sounds like a great invention. I'm glad that's helped you.

The chewing is so random. I was happy sitting with the kittens in the living room the other evening thinking, this is working, yay, and then one of them jumped on a shelf and started chewing crazily on a model Vespa scooter. I was half thinking, "oh goodness she's going to snap the upper parts of and ingest them" and half thinking, xno, I really love that model, please dot destroy it" (it has sentimental value). I did not expect her to chew the scooter. It's not like any foodstuff or chew toy aimed at cats. I got it off her pretty speedily but things like that mean I'm constantly on edge watching them.

Isn’t a vet check basically a vet ‘looking’ at the animal? No runny nose, clear eyes, clean ears etc? I don’t think it’s anything thorough. I could be wrong…
Good luck op - whatever you decide.

I have a kitten who’s 6 months old, got her at 11 weeks. And a DD who’s 4. The kitten is hectic and a messy eater, but she is nothing like your two. She’s very playful and can get rough, but that’s part of the learning curve. She does try to play with DD’s toys but not to the point I’m worried about it.

I’ve always had cats, and rescued many. I personally would be sending them back and be asking for the ‘rescue’ to reimburse for the vets trips they’ve needed due to the prior illnesses they had that weren’t disclosed to you. They should also be looking into whoever fostered them as they don’t sound right at all

Should have checked their gums and teeth!

Has he been tested for caliche virus? Cant spell that properly my phone is being a tit.

my girl has that and resulted in gingervitus. She’s had all her teeth out.

as for the pooing have you changed their diet suddenly? How many litter trays do you have?

it could be you don’t have enough trays. They may not like the litter you’re using. You might not be cleaning it enough.

how many cats do you have? Are they neutered?

no OP this is not normal and you are doing nothing wrong!!

Kittens are easy, they play, litter train etc

I would give these back and go younger kittens even if you buy them

Ignore the ones telling you, that you are not right for having animals! these kittens are sick, and you are going above and beyond for them and trying

My girl had blocked anal glans but she was smelly so does he smell?

OP you have had SUCH a shit time with this rescue. It totally not your fault, something has gone badly wrong with their procedures. They shouldn't have rehomed such unwell animals to you without your at least knowing about it and being prepared and experienced enough to deal with it and certainly not with children in the house. They are definitely not suitable animals for you to have in a house with children and honestly you are not the home they need in their present state. The rescue should definitely have been supporting the fosterer better. I am quite surprised that you have been expected to cover vet bills for existing problems. I mean some tiny ones can't afford anything else but commonly if you do take on the care of an unwell rescue, you either use the rescue's vet or they cover or at least contribute to ongoing vet bills. Honestly honestly I think it would be best all round to return the kittens. I DO NOT believe that they were vet checked prior to adoption.

So, I've bought cat chewing toys which are both fun to chew and apparently clean plaque off of teeth. They also gave dog chews (after I watched a YouTube video saying they can help cats). They've mostly ignored these, bar a catnip mouse toy, but I keep redirecting them to these toys when they chew inappropriately.

In addition to try and help with the dental disease, they have a paste from the vets that coats the teeth and fights plaque, plus an additive to their drinking water to fight plaque.

I'm also waiting for a delivery of kitten toothbrushes.

I've not heard of that cat litter, thank you.

We did go away for the weekend a week ago and two friends cat sat. You're right, they did enjoy playing with the kittens. I could ask them again.