Times you have failed your furry overlords

[Unexpecteddrivinginstructor]

I have failed mine today. Firstly I had to remove the lap because the rest of my body needed to cook the meal.

To add insult to injury she has become used to licking the juices in the tray the meat is from 🤢 before it goes into the recycling. Today we are having fish, and not that nice cat friendly fish - tuna but boring white fish, just a sniff and look of disdain. She is now lurking hoping that the second packet I open is indeed meat as it should be. Sadly it is not.

How have you failed your furry overlord today?

Firstly, Dc1 is howling as though he hasn't been fed, which he definitely has which is causing dc2 to think there is a possibility of another meal.
Secondly, I moved dc2 favourite blanket to the other sofa, closer to the lit fire. He couldn't see it so got annoyed and left the room. He will be back, I have dreamies!

I fail my ofurlord weekly. I go out on Tuesdays and she has made it quite clear that by ancient tradition I am required to spend Wednesdays lying on the bed so she can stretch out on me and get scritches. But for many months I have not complied with these simple requirements! I don't know how she puts up with this gross neglect.

I am ill, my carer came round, he doesn't normally on a Friday. I had the audacity to be in bed and he sat on the bed.

This is wrong, because he should sit on the settee and adore her.

I didn’t realise that she needed breakfast RIGHT NOW. She had to run under my bed and threaten to urinate before I ran to the kitchen and shook her food box. Clearly, I don’t know when She Means Business and I better not mess with her like that again. She knows she has the upper hand.

Void is deeply deeply disappointed in us as we have started feeding Jorts in another room and he can no longer hoover his food and then move on to hoovering Jorts' food.

It's simply not good enough.

I refused to keep jumping up to open the door for her instead of her using the dreaded cat flap even though she had just come back through it for the umpteenth time!

I had to move madam who was asleep on top of my work bag because I was running late for work. Err excuse me, the boss would have been spitting feathers if he didn't get his presentation slides.

I meanly refused to let DCat2 drink my cow’s milk at lunch, thinking of her digestive system! To retaliate, she jumped up beside me, as I was drinking it - she hit my elbow, spilling milk over her, the settee and myself. She had milk all over her back legs! Epic Fail!

ofurlord 😂😂😂
I am pinching this!!!

😆

I also came up with calling them the Furrinati years ago!

After an hour of walking around in my slippers I removed our ovfurlord from my runner. He was not happy, I even got a swipe. I did try to explain that driving with one runner and one slipper combo was not safe but he was not impressed. How did our ovfurlord express his disdain, pooping outside the litter tray. I am firmly in my place again.

Well for once it wasn't me that was the Bad Human

DS usually has simple roast chicken pieces on a Sunday , he is the only non-vegetarian human in the house . The cats patiently wait for the chicken to be divvied up and their portion set aside .
Today , DS wanted homemade pizza for dinner.

The cats are beside themselves . No Chicken
If they CBA they'd phone Cat Protection to make ther feline feelings known .

That's an actual betrayal.

And neglect.

Those poor, ignored kitties...

I removed the ancient skanky cushions that she sleeps on and replaced them with beautiful wool filled cushions - designed to be warm, supportive and generally a lovely place for an aging cat to sleep on. (cost nearly £100 for the two)
She has refused to get on and miaowed plaintively. We're in a stand off currently where I have replaced one skanky cushion upstairs that she is sleeping on and I have left one lovely cushion on the chair by the woodburner and am hoping the lure of the fire will persuade her to try it

Would it work to put the new cushions under the skanky ones until they smell right and she's used to the feel of them? Or even put the cover of the skanky one over the new one, if possible?

@Catsmere we tried both of those things - she just turned her little furry nose up at our attempts at deceit 😀

This is a former stray who was rescued living under a hedge and starving - now she is a furry overlord who knows exactly what she likes and doesn't.

I should have guessed! 😹

I know ! I am really surprised the local CPL hasn't knocked on our door to demand we hand these poor cats back to them

There's a pack of chicken in the fridge I've told DS he has to cook some tomorrow for his dinner and some for the moggies to get back in their good books

I took mine to the vets.

I don't think she will ever forgive me.

I took a picture of him and laughed instead of helping when he got his head stuck in an envelope 🤷🏼‍♀️

I woke her up when I tiptoed into the bedroom to fetch some laundry. She was curled up on my her bed and her head sprung up at lightning speed and she gave me 'the look'.

I wouldn't mind so much but she's not even my cat. She actually lives next door.

I am about to fail mine terribly. She’s hunkered down on top of me and I have to get up.

FOvLd is very happy that i keep forgetting to brush her teeth. Daily reminders on phone ... and I can't get round to it. Oops.

He drools when he's being stroked/cuddled. He's done this all his life, he has no teeth issues, he's just a happy drooler but he's now 14 and he'll shake his head and distribute the saliva all over the nearest surface, stand there with candle like drips of thick saliva so I have to wipe his mouth with a wad of tissue (not unlike a toddler with a runny nose), or worse - get as close to my face as he possibly can when I’m sleeping and drip it into my open mouth 🤮