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Original poster

Times you have failed your furry overlords

106 replies

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 05/10/2023 18:05

I have failed mine today. Firstly I had to remove the lap because the rest of my body needed to cook the meal.

To add insult to injury she has become used to licking the juices in the tray the meat is from 🤢 before it goes into the recycling. Today we are having fish, and not that nice cat friendly fish - tuna but boring white fish, just a sniff and look of disdain. She is now lurking hoping that the second packet I open is indeed meat as it should be. Sadly it is not.

How have you failed your furry overlord today?

OP posts:
BabyFireflyx · 10/10/2023 01:08

He takes me mopping him up or y'know spitting and jumping upright if it's gone into my mouth as an offence. In fact, every time he's not happy (eg I've redecorated the house, put up Halloween decorations, changed anything in any way) he sprays. He was neutered so many years ago but he's the only one of my boys who retains the ability to spray when he's pissed off. He gets this look on his face before he does it. The worst was redecorating and he stood and sprayed all up my back while I was crouched down. I KNOW I'M YOUR PERSON BUT YOU DO NOT GET TO PISS ON ME! One of these days I might return the favour, grumpy fucker. He's spoilt rotten and he knows it.

Ilefttownonsaturday · 10/10/2023 06:13

How stupid was I to even think that buying an armchair would mean that I would get to sit on it! Nope... Madam sits on her throne and gives me the evil eye if I'm 10 metres away. I know my place and now sit on the rickety old armchair that's dying a slow death.

Catsmere · 10/10/2023 07:56

Ilefttownonsaturday · 10/10/2023 06:13

How stupid was I to even think that buying an armchair would mean that I would get to sit on it! Nope... Madam sits on her throne and gives me the evil eye if I'm 10 metres away. I know my place and now sit on the rickety old armchair that's dying a slow death.

I've recently ordered new armchairs and I just bet one or both of the Goddesses will transfer their affections from my bed to the new chairs.

The resident wrecker-of-chairs (one of said Goddesses) will probably also be pissed off when I put protective vinyl covers over the corners, too.

Ilefttownonsaturday · 10/10/2023 19:16

@Catsmere kiss the new furniture goodbye, it's not yours anymore because they belong to the cats.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 10/10/2023 20:19

I want to put the new green sofa cover on but I can predict Male Cat will stride about archly saying and when was THIS decided ?

SisyphusDad · 10/10/2023 20:47

I had the temerity to refill Her Magnificence's bowl with the vast amount of kibble surrounding it. Would she touch it? Would she hell! She decided to starve until I threw the whole lot away.

Catsmere · 10/10/2023 21:03

Ilefttownonsaturday · 10/10/2023 19:16

@Catsmere kiss the new furniture goodbye, it's not yours anymore because they belong to the cats.

😭😭😭

Catsmere · 10/10/2023 21:06

SisyphusDad · 10/10/2023 20:47

I had the temerity to refill Her Magnificence's bowl with the vast amount of kibble surrounding it. Would she touch it? Would she hell! She decided to starve until I threw the whole lot away.

Her Magnificence sounds like my elder goddess! No food on the saucer, it’s all tucked in under the sides. Replacing it isn’t adequate, she requires it fresh out of the bag.

Soubriquet · 10/10/2023 21:11

I’m going to really fail my furry overlord tomorrow. I’m going to have to wrap her in a blanket and trim her knicker fur since she’s got some knots and mats down there. She’s going to haaaaaaaate me

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 10/10/2023 21:38

Awww knicker fur Grin

When we were looking for The OverLords , it came down to a choice of :

our cats , both black DSH moggies , Bro/Sis
pair of bonded cats (not related) fluffy black male , shy tortie/white female

Our cats by a whisker partly because I didn't fancy ever having to trim the knicker fur off the male Shock

Soubriquet · 10/10/2023 21:40

I don’t normally have to do this. Once in a blue moon thing. Still dreading it.

HiCandles · 10/10/2023 21:40

I have failed my princesses by continuing to allow a toddler to live in their house. Said toddler worships them and is thrilled when they come near enough for strokes, but they dislike having to jump on on the kitchen bench to eat. Strangely, before food had to live out of toddler's reach, they were impossible to get off the bench despite all attempts to teach them!

BlueKaftan · 10/10/2023 21:54

I suggested she use her cat flap instead of making me get up and down all day to open the door. Glad my affairs are in order.

felinelucky · 10/10/2023 21:59

I disappoint mine daily by telling them lunch and afternoon tea are not a cat thing, and that multiple breakfasts are only for hobbits.

Catsmere · 10/10/2023 22:01

felinelucky · 10/10/2023 21:59

I disappoint mine daily by telling them lunch and afternoon tea are not a cat thing, and that multiple breakfasts are only for hobbits.

"But Meowther, we are hobbits! Look at our furry feet!"

PTSDBarbiegirl · 10/10/2023 22:08

I was looking forward to starting a brand new hard back book. I was getting daggers from the overlord as my eyes diverted to the page. I popped out to get a cuppa and on return I mistakenly pulled my newly opened, hardback book from under the sleeping master, only for them to wake up and scratch through the top 3 pages. Now I can't read them. My own fault.

SisyphusDad · 10/10/2023 23:08

@Catsmere

Yup.

Catsmere · 11/10/2023 06:56

I failed O2 (Ofurlord 2) badly today. I went out, telling her I'd be back at lunchtime and I'd spend the afternoon on the bed with her. Failings: going out at all; getting back later than midday; sitting in the lounge to have lunch even though she was headbutting me to remind me where I should be; not getting in there until 2 pm!!! 🙀 to keep her company.

Caledoniadreaming · 11/10/2023 13:32

We have a mini human in the house. It's been almost 4 years and it still pisses our OFurLord off.

MuffinWalloper · 11/10/2023 20:19

BabyFireflyx · 10/10/2023 01:02

He drools when he's being stroked/cuddled. He's done this all his life, he has no teeth issues, he's just a happy drooler but he's now 14 and he'll shake his head and distribute the saliva all over the nearest surface, stand there with candle like drips of thick saliva so I have to wipe his mouth with a wad of tissue (not unlike a toddler with a runny nose), or worse - get as close to my face as he possibly can when I’m sleeping and drip it into my open mouth 🤮

We have one like this. I've had drool dripped into my ear as well as my mouth - as well as the full frontal spray attack. It's a truly disgusting thing to wake up to.

Toddlerteaplease · 11/10/2023 21:17

Cheddar is a drooler as well!

Soubriquet · 11/10/2023 21:18

Toots drools too!! Only when she’s laid on me though

Catsmere · 11/10/2023 22:02

One of my previous ofurlords not only drooled when she was happy, she blarted - liquid farts. I think in hindsight (no pun intended) it may have been anal glands rather than actual farts, and the stench was like nothing on this earth - get-up-and-wash-and-wash-your-clothes-immediately level.

And of course all this frantic washing meant she was dumped off the lap she'd been so happily settled on! Shame! Shame!

Soubriquet · 11/10/2023 22:02

Eeeeeeeeeewwwww. I have to manually empty my dogs glands so I know how bad it can be

listsandbudgets · 11/10/2023 22:04

I did not keep the door open long enough - neither after I'd reopened it to let her in did I immediately reopen it to let her out again...

Worse... far worse... I rinsed out the tuna tin before she had a chance to lick out out. I am in her very bad books