Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Friends and my kittens

155 replies

MarjorieStuartBaxter · 17/08/2023 15:57

am honestly at my wits end over this...,my cat had kittens (she is booked to be done so no lectures) the kittens are being brought up with love snd everything they need.

Anyway I hadn't told anyone really that she was having kittens but the day she had them I posted a pic on a WhatsApp group. Anyway one friend pipes up oh I want a kitten (first I'd heard) but it needs to be (certain colour) as her cat that colour had died (again first if heard) then says oh is that "colour" I see I said no they are cream. She kind of dismissed that and went on...in the end it was like she was having one.
Then she said oh her dc (in 20's) lives at home wants a pure (colour) one......"so that's 2 off your hands" no mention of how much or what I was planning on doing with them etc.

Now they are t just standard moggies they are part pedigree and rare colours and markings so if they were to be sold they would sell for around £200. Though I'm keeping 2 and it's not really about the money just the fact no money was mentioned. She's someone I've not known long or even been to her house! For context.so not my best mate or anything.
Anyway one of the kittens is really standoutish biggest one....she somehow put a claim in for that one for her dc 🙈 we were actually keeping that one so just said I'd let her know.
Anyway another friend on the group asked the other day if I had any left and how much...before I'd even answered she'd put "you can't have them 2 we "bagsied" them first. Wtf.
I've honestly just had enough without going into great detail I have shown another friend the messages and she's said she's manipulated it from the start....I know I should have been clear from the start but I'm stupid like that and felt bad. There are a lot of friends etc that would love one of the kittens but I now feel backed into a corner and I'm upset that someone could actually assume that they could have them for free like I just want rid of happiky keep them all honestly.
I never once asked anyone if they wanted a kitten just posted a pic! I don't want to fall out with anyone over it but also don't know what to do....another thing that worries me is she smokes in her house and smokes weed and I don't want the kitten around that.. she is a friend and we get really really well but the kittens are my babies and I don't just want to give them away like they are unwanted they are really loved.

OP posts:
Cloudsandrainnotsunandsand · 17/08/2023 16:00

Stop posting pics. Tell them they all died. Find more suitable homes via a charity or rescue..

WarmButteryCrumpets · 17/08/2023 16:01

"When did I say I was giving them away?" Might be appropriate

Slowlygettingittogether · 17/08/2023 16:03

Don't tell them they all died, that's a horrible thing to state if they are alive and well, stop posting pictures on WhatsApp or any social media unless you want to advertise the kittens

eish · 17/08/2023 16:13

Just be firm, no, we are keeping two and I already had a waiting list although was waiting for them to confirm. They now have and all kittens are taken. Then give them to homes where you’re happy for your kittens to go to. Point out that you posted the picture but never mentioned that you were looking for people to have them. If you fall out with her that is her problem not yours.

eish · 17/08/2023 16:14

When I say give I mean sell or give, whatever your deal is.

tt9 · 17/08/2023 16:31

how r we supposed to advice if you don't show us pics? pretty please.

tt9 · 17/08/2023 16:32

personally I would tell her sorry but I have changed my mind. no reasons needed. they are your kittens... you will decide who they will go to. there is no corner, she isn't holding a gun to your head.

tt9 · 17/08/2023 16:32

also she is not really a friend worth having if she is so rude and entitled

AutumnalPumpkin · 17/08/2023 16:33

A firm "no, I did not state I was giving them away" would have been a good start. Although I know how it feels to be caught out in the moment, not knowing what to say.
You need to do what YOU want to do. Forget anyone else's feelings !

PalomaPalomaPaloma · 17/08/2023 16:36

A generation or so ago people did give kittens away as most cats weren't neutered and there were lots of kittens around. . Perhaps she thinks that's still the case and that you're desperate to get rid of them.

Tiredmum100 · 17/08/2023 16:38

I wouldn't give them to her if you don't know her that well or if you've never even been to her house. You don't know if they're going to a safe environment.

kweeble · 17/08/2023 16:48

Say you’re keeping them or they’re already spoken for - you don’t know her well except that she’s pushy. I wouldn’t post photos of them except to those you trust that may like one.
You are responsible for them and certainly get first choice and decide who has them. It doesn’t matter if you fall out with her - tell her by text then block her.

Original poster
MarjorieStuartBaxter · 17/08/2023 16:48

Thanks for replies....It wasn't a public group just 3 friends where we post all sorts, none of them knew cat was having kittens if I'm honest they probably didn't even know that cat existed as she rarely goes out and I only ever mention my 16 year old cat......I'll post pics and yes I am sad as thought she was a friend but I wouldn't dream of acting so grabby she has 2 cats already and one that ran off and didn't come home

OP posts:
Beamur · 17/08/2023 16:50

Nip it in the bud now and stop being passive.
Put a message in the group - say you're pleased everyone loves the kittens but they're not available for reservation. You're thinking of keeping 2 and will be selling the other kittens in due course. Then stop posting pictures or talking about it. If they're interested in buying one they will ask for more information.

Clymene · 17/08/2023 16:51

Part pedigree and it was an accidental mating? Chinny reckon

CommonVetch · 17/08/2023 16:55

You can't give the kittens to her, so you need to figure out a way to say that. Clearly.

Original poster
MarjorieStuartBaxter · 17/08/2023 16:57

The dad is a pedigree...I didn't do this for money I was giving an example of money she would be saving.....

OP posts:
crazeekat · 17/08/2023 17:13

honestly she is a fking cheeky cow. cannot stand folk like her, self entitled muppet,
i'd pm her right now and literally say. hi bla bla. thank you for the interest in the kittens, just to discuss the prices and what's included etc, the price is going to be £900. each. pedigree and all as you know. and that's mates rates. sorry tho the ones you mentioned you would like to be considered for are the ones that i was keeping for
myself from the beginning. they are the two that have been the most hard work.
so do you want to discuss payment etc, cash up front btw non refundable deposit and then we can see going forward about vets, i can recommend a good one for you to start all
their injections, innoculations and spaying necessities come the time. they also give good advice as to the food intolerances these type of cats usually have. your insurance for these kittens i know is on the high side as you will
have saw but i'm sure but i can get you a good bargain with my own insurers for £200 a month for the pair. pedigree and all, remember.
so
let me know
how you want to proceed.
meowing memes at the end

Utereusbegone · 17/08/2023 17:15

I'd just post in the group 'hi friend, think there has been a bit of a misunderstanding, I am not sure what I am doing with all of the kittens yet so as far as I am concerned none have been available to be bagsied!'

Icequeen01 · 17/08/2023 17:23

I agree with all the other posters. Just say you have changed your mind.

If my cat had kittens and I had to find homes for them I would be worse than a rescue centre and probably want to do a home visit and ask soooo many questions before I could give them up 🤣 And this is why I usually have male cats (although have got a little female at the moment but she was spayed before I got her). Don't let your "friend" push you into anything you are not comfortable with. You have no idea what sort of home she will provide.

SleeplessInCity · 17/08/2023 17:30

Are you keeping 2 to breed more in the future?

TheChosenTwo · 17/08/2023 17:33

Do people really pay £200 for bog standard kittens? Not being a sarcy cow, I don’t have cats but people round here tend to give them away!

Cowlover89 · 17/08/2023 17:34

I wouldn't give her one. Cheeky bitch

Datafan55 · 17/08/2023 17:41

(a PP should stop posting pictures of them unless they're for sale) You can post pictures wherever you want!

krustykittens · 17/08/2023 17:45

We took in a pregnant cat on Saturday who had her litter on Sunday! I have told nobody as I don't want people who I wouldn't ask to mind a rocking horse asking for one. Nothing but arguing ensues. Mum will be spayed as soon as I am able and I have a short list of people who I know will take good care of a kitten who will be approached when they are six weeks old. Tbh, I don't care if they all stay, we are on a farm, there is plenty of room. And these are only mogs! Your friend is taking the utter piss.