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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Friends and my kittens

155 replies

MarjorieStuartBaxter · 17/08/2023 15:57

am honestly at my wits end over this...,my cat had kittens (she is booked to be done so no lectures) the kittens are being brought up with love snd everything they need.

Anyway I hadn't told anyone really that she was having kittens but the day she had them I posted a pic on a WhatsApp group. Anyway one friend pipes up oh I want a kitten (first I'd heard) but it needs to be (certain colour) as her cat that colour had died (again first if heard) then says oh is that "colour" I see I said no they are cream. She kind of dismissed that and went on...in the end it was like she was having one.
Then she said oh her dc (in 20's) lives at home wants a pure (colour) one......"so that's 2 off your hands" no mention of how much or what I was planning on doing with them etc.

Now they are t just standard moggies they are part pedigree and rare colours and markings so if they were to be sold they would sell for around £200. Though I'm keeping 2 and it's not really about the money just the fact no money was mentioned. She's someone I've not known long or even been to her house! For context.so not my best mate or anything.
Anyway one of the kittens is really standoutish biggest one....she somehow put a claim in for that one for her dc 🙈 we were actually keeping that one so just said I'd let her know.
Anyway another friend on the group asked the other day if I had any left and how much...before I'd even answered she'd put "you can't have them 2 we "bagsied" them first. Wtf.
I've honestly just had enough without going into great detail I have shown another friend the messages and she's said she's manipulated it from the start....I know I should have been clear from the start but I'm stupid like that and felt bad. There are a lot of friends etc that would love one of the kittens but I now feel backed into a corner and I'm upset that someone could actually assume that they could have them for free like I just want rid of happiky keep them all honestly.
I never once asked anyone if they wanted a kitten just posted a pic! I don't want to fall out with anyone over it but also don't know what to do....another thing that worries me is she smokes in her house and smokes weed and I don't want the kitten around that.. she is a friend and we get really really well but the kittens are my babies and I don't just want to give them away like they are unwanted they are really loved.

OP posts:
RunningFromInsanity · 17/08/2023 19:19

Clymene · 17/08/2023 16:51

Part pedigree and it was an accidental mating? Chinny reckon

Exactly.

Tirediam · 17/08/2023 19:21

Two options. Be upfront and say that you didn’t say any would be for sale, and not sure if you’re keeping them all or what ones you will be keeping but the ones that go will cost £xxx just an FYI.
or ignore everything she says about them, don’t mention them ever again and then when she asks if they’re ready, just say “oh I didn’t think you were serious, you just saw cute kittens and said “I want them” in the way everyone does when they see cute kittens”. Either way don’t let Bossy McWeedersmoker get any

smartiesnskittles · 17/08/2023 19:25

This is ridiculous. It's so easy to say in reply to any of these inquiries or reservations "sorry- I'm planning to keep them all for now." If/when that changes, advertise or offer to sell selectively to homes you are happy with.

RumNotRun · 17/08/2023 19:28

Tell her "sorry but MN Litter Tray has bagsied them all" I'll have any (all) of them 😁

BrownieNut · 17/08/2023 19:43

For those asking if £200 is going rate for a moggy. I paid £150 for a bog standard moggy but it was chipped, flea and worm treated and neutered. This is a half moggy so probably worth that.
It sounds like the friend trying to bagsy kittens is not someone you would want to have them. Don’t let that put you off the friend who asked how much though. I would post on the group “friend b x kitten is available to you for £200, please let me know”
That makes it clear to friend a she hasn’t been successful in her attempts to bagsy your pets.

Soubriquet · 17/08/2023 19:44

I paid £60 my Maine coon cross British short hair but that was 7 years ago now

WomanHereHear · 17/08/2023 19:48

You sound like a backyard breeder. How much do you want for them?

WomanHereHear · 17/08/2023 19:49

RunningFromInsanity · 17/08/2023 19:19

Exactly.

Show quote history

Beat me to it

Original poster
MarjorieStuartBaxter · 17/08/2023 21:02

@Clymene wtf? Obviously not

OP posts:
Original poster
MarjorieStuartBaxter · 17/08/2023 21:09

Just clear this up my cats dad is a pedigree my cat isn't and if it was a planned mark g I'd have mated her with a pedigree cat if I'd done this on purpose I'd be selling them all as it stands I'm keeping most it's not about money!! I mentioned the pedigree thing for context...that if she were to buy one online they would be expensive.

OP posts:
Original poster
MarjorieStuartBaxter · 17/08/2023 21:15

WomanHereHear · 17/08/2023 19:48

You sound like a backyard breeder. How much do you want for them?

Here we go 🙄 I'm not selling them I was giving context.
I own a kc pedigree dog whose dad has won crufts if she were to have pups I'd be 10k richer but I'd never ever breed her.
My cat actually jumped out of a first floor window onto my fence and buggered off she's my sons cat and before then went out supervised in the garden...regardless if I had chosen to breed her that's my choice I admitted up thread I felt bad so stop detailing the thread I didn't ask if I was an awful person for letting my cat have kittens did I?

OP posts:
Original poster
MarjorieStuartBaxter · 17/08/2023 21:29

BrownieNut · 17/08/2023 19:43

For those asking if £200 is going rate for a moggy. I paid £150 for a bog standard moggy but it was chipped, flea and worm treated and neutered. This is a half moggy so probably worth that.
It sounds like the friend trying to bagsy kittens is not someone you would want to have them. Don’t let that put you off the friend who asked how much though. I would post on the group “friend b x kitten is available to you for £200, please let me know”
That makes it clear to friend a she hasn’t been successful in her attempts to bagsy your pets.

The pedigree thing was mentioned as they are obviously grey the other 2 are cream/beige and they have very distinctive markings so not just a standard kitten I paid £140 for mum sold as a moggy. The going rate for cats now a days is £100-200 maybe since lockdown...I paid &50 for my rescue car 10 years ago!!
People aren't understanding that I'm not pissed off about the money I may be losing I'm pissed off as that's the money they would be paying if they bought another kitten.....

OP posts:
Original poster
MarjorieStuartBaxter · 17/08/2023 21:32

Tirediam · 17/08/2023 19:21

Two options. Be upfront and say that you didn’t say any would be for sale, and not sure if you’re keeping them all or what ones you will be keeping but the ones that go will cost £xxx just an FYI.
or ignore everything she says about them, don’t mention them ever again and then when she asks if they’re ready, just say “oh I didn’t think you were serious, you just saw cute kittens and said “I want them” in the way everyone does when they see cute kittens”. Either way don’t let Bossy McWeedersmoker get any

😂😂....I will see her before then but I'm going to just try and not mention anything for a while see what happens

OP posts:
Prettypinkroses47 · 17/08/2023 21:34

I would message her as soon as poss. Expect a big drama about how upset she is but stay firm. YOU get to decide what happens to YOUR kittens!

Original poster
MarjorieStuartBaxter · 17/08/2023 21:38

smartiesnskittles · 17/08/2023 19:25

This is ridiculous. It's so easy to say in reply to any of these inquiries or reservations "sorry- I'm planning to keep them all for now." If/when that changes, advertise or offer to sell selectively to homes you are happy with.

It wasn't even an enquiry that's the thing it was a manipulation she never once asked what I was planning on doing with them....how much? Anything at all! Just she wants this colour but needs to be a boy and her ex wants that colour but must be the full colour one and biggest hard to put into words how it was all gone about.

OP posts:
Amethys · 17/08/2023 21:44

What a shame she’s behaved like this. She’s being very pressuring and manipulative.

So, take some time and get things straight in your head, then send her a polite but very clear message, then ignore her for a while.

If it was me, there would be ZERO chance I’d rehome my kittens to a smoker. Smoking is extremely bad for cats, the nicotine sticks to their fur and then they lick it and it is quite toxic to them.

Plus, based on her grabby behaviour, I bet that she’d ‘change her mind’ and sell these kittens on for hundreds of pounds and not tell you. I suspect she googled them and knows exactly what they’re worth.

If it ws me I’d send a message saying “Hi [friend], things have got a bit muddled about my kittens. When I originally posted the picture I was just showing people how cute they are, it wasn’t an advert and I wasn’t planning to sell any of them. (If I was selling them, the price for this kind of cat is usually £200-300 each). When you said you wanted one it felt awkward saying no and now we are where we are… But thinking it over I really do not want to sell any of them and it would be silly to do so just to be polite 😂. We are keeping all of them but if you want a similar kitten there are some here [insert link to Freeads].

A real friend will be fine with that and apologise for making assumptions. But I do not think this person is much of a friend.

If you don’t actually want to keep all of them just quietly rehome them elsewhere and don’t tell her, or say they weren’t getting on when they were older so you sold some.

Alargeoneplease89 · 17/08/2023 21:44

What a coincidence that an indoor cat like a BBS mated with your escapee moggy 😂 but anyway I wouldn't bother responding to her and just you didn't think she was serious.

Beamur · 17/08/2023 22:39

Alargeoneplease89 · 17/08/2023 21:44

What a coincidence that an indoor cat like a BBS mated with your escapee moggy 😂 but anyway I wouldn't bother responding to her and just you didn't think she was serious.

The escapee is the half pedigree, so these babies - however cute are less than a quarter BS but have retained some of the breed colouring/features.

Original poster
MarjorieStuartBaxter · 17/08/2023 22:42

Alargeoneplease89 · 17/08/2023 21:44

What a coincidence that an indoor cat like a BBS mated with your escapee moggy 😂 but anyway I wouldn't bother responding to her and just you didn't think she was serious.

It didn't as explained above my cats dad is the pedigree

OP posts:
PurpleChrayne · 17/08/2023 22:46

crazeekat · 17/08/2023 17:13

honestly she is a fking cheeky cow. cannot stand folk like her, self entitled muppet,
i'd pm her right now and literally say. hi bla bla. thank you for the interest in the kittens, just to discuss the prices and what's included etc, the price is going to be £900. each. pedigree and all as you know. and that's mates rates. sorry tho the ones you mentioned you would like to be considered for are the ones that i was keeping for
myself from the beginning. they are the two that have been the most hard work.
so do you want to discuss payment etc, cash up front btw non refundable deposit and then we can see going forward about vets, i can recommend a good one for you to start all
their injections, innoculations and spaying necessities come the time. they also give good advice as to the food intolerances these type of cats usually have. your insurance for these kittens i know is on the high side as you will
have saw but i'm sure but i can get you a good bargain with my own insurers for £200 a month for the pair. pedigree and all, remember.
so
let me know
how you want to proceed.
meowing memes at the end

Why so convoluted? Just say "I'm not giving them away."

Original poster
MarjorieStuartBaxter · 17/08/2023 22:48

Amethys · 17/08/2023 21:44

What a shame she’s behaved like this. She’s being very pressuring and manipulative.

So, take some time and get things straight in your head, then send her a polite but very clear message, then ignore her for a while.

If it was me, there would be ZERO chance I’d rehome my kittens to a smoker. Smoking is extremely bad for cats, the nicotine sticks to their fur and then they lick it and it is quite toxic to them.

Plus, based on her grabby behaviour, I bet that she’d ‘change her mind’ and sell these kittens on for hundreds of pounds and not tell you. I suspect she googled them and knows exactly what they’re worth.

If it ws me I’d send a message saying “Hi [friend], things have got a bit muddled about my kittens. When I originally posted the picture I was just showing people how cute they are, it wasn’t an advert and I wasn’t planning to sell any of them. (If I was selling them, the price for this kind of cat is usually £200-300 each). When you said you wanted one it felt awkward saying no and now we are where we are… But thinking it over I really do not want to sell any of them and it would be silly to do so just to be polite 😂. We are keeping all of them but if you want a similar kitten there are some here [insert link to Freeads].

A real friend will be fine with that and apologise for making assumptions. But I do not think this person is much of a friend.

If you don’t actually want to keep all of them just quietly rehome them elsewhere and don’t tell her, or say they weren’t getting on when they were older so you sold some.

Yes my thoughts I think I just went along with it abd djdbt process it' all for a week or so....there are a lot of things that aren't ideal about her but we get on well....I should say all of that but I don't think I can..

OP posts:
Jomummy1013 · 17/08/2023 23:04

I had a situation similar to this last year.
My cat escaped and had four really beautiful kittens last July. Each was a different colour, all were unusual and they were all extremely beautiful. (My cat is now spayed btw!)
Mine weren't half pedigree but they really were gorgeous.
I showed pics of the kittens to a work colleague and she made the assumption she was having one and I felt too awkward to say much about it. She is really well off and didn't offer me any contribution towards the kitten. I didn't want money, that is not the point, but the fact she made an assumption and didn't offer. I made a hint that could she contribute a small amount towards mum's spay but she laughed it off. She ended up with the kitten she liked and I'm still mad at myself for it and the fact I was a pushover. Even more so as the poor thing died in her tumble dryer at six months old. He climbed in and she wasn't aware. 😓I was so upset and felt so bad. She was completely traumatised also.
So I can completely understand your awkwardness. I am not even good friends with this girl, it was so awkward because I work with her. Your kittens look gorgeous. One of the ones I had looked like yours ❤️

RedHelenB · 18/08/2023 05:40

SleeplessInCity · 17/08/2023 17:30

Are you keeping 2 to breed more in the future?

Probably. The real annoyance from the OP seems to cone from the fact no money has been mentioned.

TedMullins · 18/08/2023 05:54

Good grief just tell her you’re not selling them. I don’t understand why you didn’t say that straight away!

evrey · 18/08/2023 05:56

I had this a few months ago my friend bagged one of my kittens without being offered. I couldn't say no but I wish I had from the start. She wasn't a suitable cat parent, for reasons that if I put here would be quite outing.
I ended up putting my foot down and saying I was keeping him because he wouldn't of had a good life with her
It kinda ruined the friendship,but the happiness of the cat had to come first.
At the time I was so stressed so I fully sympathize.
If I were you I would say they didn't pass their health check and you wouldn't burden her with cats that needed healthcare , be firm .

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