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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Friends and my kittens

155 replies

MarjorieStuartBaxter · 17/08/2023 15:57

am honestly at my wits end over this...,my cat had kittens (she is booked to be done so no lectures) the kittens are being brought up with love snd everything they need.

Anyway I hadn't told anyone really that she was having kittens but the day she had them I posted a pic on a WhatsApp group. Anyway one friend pipes up oh I want a kitten (first I'd heard) but it needs to be (certain colour) as her cat that colour had died (again first if heard) then says oh is that "colour" I see I said no they are cream. She kind of dismissed that and went on...in the end it was like she was having one.
Then she said oh her dc (in 20's) lives at home wants a pure (colour) one......"so that's 2 off your hands" no mention of how much or what I was planning on doing with them etc.

Now they are t just standard moggies they are part pedigree and rare colours and markings so if they were to be sold they would sell for around £200. Though I'm keeping 2 and it's not really about the money just the fact no money was mentioned. She's someone I've not known long or even been to her house! For context.so not my best mate or anything.
Anyway one of the kittens is really standoutish biggest one....she somehow put a claim in for that one for her dc 🙈 we were actually keeping that one so just said I'd let her know.
Anyway another friend on the group asked the other day if I had any left and how much...before I'd even answered she'd put "you can't have them 2 we "bagsied" them first. Wtf.
I've honestly just had enough without going into great detail I have shown another friend the messages and she's said she's manipulated it from the start....I know I should have been clear from the start but I'm stupid like that and felt bad. There are a lot of friends etc that would love one of the kittens but I now feel backed into a corner and I'm upset that someone could actually assume that they could have them for free like I just want rid of happiky keep them all honestly.
I never once asked anyone if they wanted a kitten just posted a pic! I don't want to fall out with anyone over it but also don't know what to do....another thing that worries me is she smokes in her house and smokes weed and I don't want the kitten around that.. she is a friend and we get really really well but the kittens are my babies and I don't just want to give them away like they are unwanted they are really loved.

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 17/08/2023 17:46

You need to be blunt.

“Listen Alice, I never said you could have two kittens and I definitely never said you could have unique kitten. Also, if I was to let these go, they would be around £200 each.”

She won’t like that. Especially having to pay 3 figures for what is essentially a moggy.

And yes….you need to post photos here. It’s the law

Slowlygettingittogether · 17/08/2023 17:47

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Original poster
MarjorieStuartBaxter · 17/08/2023 17:48

That's the thing I posted a pic the day after they were born to our WhatsApp group of 4 as I'm not one for posting on Facebook etc I haven't dared post any since!

Friends and my kittens
OP posts:
krustykittens · 17/08/2023 17:48

They are VERY cute!

Soubriquet · 17/08/2023 17:50

You can tell your friend I bagised them first Grin

Mistletoewench · 17/08/2023 17:51

They are just lovely 🥰 made me smile (I’ve had a shite day)

Original poster
MarjorieStuartBaxter · 17/08/2023 17:51

The pic I posted on the group was the day after they were born we all post things on there I wouldn't assume anything was for sale or giving away just because a picture was posted or I'd at least ask "are you selling them" not just say I want......and actually pick out the colour and the sex they want....I wasn't asked once what my plans were for them

OP posts:
Timeforabiscuit · 17/08/2023 17:52

That's flipping cute!

Slowlygettingittogether · 17/08/2023 17:52

MarjorieStuartBaxter · 17/08/2023 17:48

That's the thing I posted a pic the day after they were born to our WhatsApp group of 4 as I'm not one for posting on Facebook etc I haven't dared post any since!

They are cute. However even if it was to a group of friends they probably got confused and shocked. The fact nobody knew you had kittens and probably assumed you were giving them away or they were for sale (tbh it's very cheeky to make that assumptions imo)

Original poster
MarjorieStuartBaxter · 17/08/2023 17:53

Aww thanks yes that's one of the "bagsied" ones 😆

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 17/08/2023 17:55

Was dad a British blue by any chance?

ElizaWinter · 17/08/2023 17:59

Aw so cute! 😻

Don't let her push you around. Be clear and tell everyone her that your kittens are not available, you are just sharing photos for cuteness.

Honeyroar · 17/08/2023 18:00

Tell her you don’t want them going to homes that already have cats?

You’ve got into a mess here, haven’t you! Do you have an idea of what you’d like to do with them? Who you’d like to have them?

I think you need to go back to the friend and tell them you’re feeling a bit steam rollers and upset. Point out that they haven’t even asked how much the kittens are or asked which you want to keep. It was all about her and what she wanted. Tell her that you’re not decided what you want to do with them or anything yet.

Then is do a general post again saying sorry but you never posted pics of the kittens because you wanted to rehome them. Say you’ve got family members interested too, and you’ll let them know if any are left later on.

ToDoListAddict · 17/08/2023 18:00

Absolutely adorable 🥰

I'd ignore her "I bagsied them" message and send photos of the kittens you are rehoming and say "these are the kittens available and they are £200 each if you're interested" that's if you do want them to go to those particular friends.
If not, just say "there seems to be a misunderstanding- I just wanted to show you the cute kittens!"

Original poster
MarjorieStuartBaxter · 17/08/2023 18:10

@Slowlygettingittogether I post pics of my dogs that doesn't mean I'm selling them or giving them away....so struggling to understand that one. I did put a caption with the pic and it said nothing about giving away. It's just so strange and they didn't know she was having kittens as like I said I don't think I've ever mentioned that particular cat. It was only family and my friend/neighbour I'd spoken about it as i felt bad enough as it was.

So I don't think I'm to blame for showing a picture of newborn kittens that you can hardly even make out.....you could see the colours that was it and she said "I need a (colour) cat I had one that died so been wanting one since"...I did think afterwards that's quite convenient I have 2 that colour as they are quite hard to find even though mine aren't the colour she thought they were which she didn't take in.

OP posts:
Clymene · 17/08/2023 18:13

MarjorieStuartBaxter · 17/08/2023 16:57

The dad is a pedigree...I didn't do this for money I was giving an example of money she would be saving.....

So you planned it.

RiverLen · 17/08/2023 18:19

Ask her upfront for a deposit (£50) with the remaining to be given when she collects the kitten (if you decide to give her one).

Don’t give her the ones you intend to keep.

RiverLen · 17/08/2023 18:20

And very cute kittens

Original poster
MarjorieStuartBaxter · 17/08/2023 18:20

Honeyroar · 17/08/2023 18:00

Tell her you don’t want them going to homes that already have cats?

You’ve got into a mess here, haven’t you! Do you have an idea of what you’d like to do with them? Who you’d like to have them?

I think you need to go back to the friend and tell them you’re feeling a bit steam rollers and upset. Point out that they haven’t even asked how much the kittens are or asked which you want to keep. It was all about her and what she wanted. Tell her that you’re not decided what you want to do with them or anything yet.

Then is do a general post again saying sorry but you never posted pics of the kittens because you wanted to rehome them. Say you’ve got family members interested too, and you’ll let them know if any are left later on.

Yes partly my fault but it was manipulation from the start so the question wasn't directly asked or answered! Obviously can't post messages but my "clever friend" has seen them and how calculated they were from the start. I'm
Upset as I like her but other mutual friend who o met her through has told me that's her true colours as she owes her a lot of money etc I suppose I just see bits of her it's when you really get to know someone..........she's older than me in her 50's so we aren't talking a young adult who may not know better

OP posts:
Original poster
MarjorieStuartBaxter · 17/08/2023 18:26

RiverLen · 17/08/2023 18:19

Ask her upfront for a deposit (£50) with the remaining to be given when she collects the kitten (if you decide to give her one).

Don’t give her the ones you intend to keep.

She said her dc had "requested" certain kitten I told her I was keeping that one as my own dc were attached but in her reply to other friend she said she can't have that one as she was 🤨

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 17/08/2023 18:46

Then be blunt!!! Outright say NO ONE is having any of the kittens.

frazzledasarock · 17/08/2023 18:58

Soubriquet · 17/08/2023 18:46

Then be blunt!!! Outright say NO ONE is having any of the kittens.

This.

just say I’m not selling/giving them away.

and shut down any further discussion

Cosycover · 17/08/2023 19:08

You need to set her straight asap. Just tell her you are keeping that kitten.

RiverLen · 17/08/2023 19:10

She can’t decide which kitten you’re going to keep!

Silvers11 · 17/08/2023 19:13

@MarjorieStuartBaxter - I agree with others. As long as you didn't actually say 'Yes' but were non-committal, just post on FB NOW that there has been a misunderstanding - @eish suggestion sounded good to me

Just be firm, no, we are keeping two and I already had a waiting list although was waiting for them to confirm. They now have and all kittens are taken. Then give them to homes where you’re happy for your kittens to go to. Point out that you posted the picture but never mentioned that you were looking for people to have them. If you fall out with her that is her problem not yours.

When I say give I mean sell or give, whatever your deal is.

Otherwise, tell them you have changed your mind . But you need to shut this down right now!

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