Friends and my kittens

[MarjorieStuartBaxter]

am honestly at my wits end over this...,my cat had kittens (she is booked to be done so no lectures) the kittens are being brought up with love snd everything they need.

Anyway I hadn't told anyone really that she was having kittens but the day she had them I posted a pic on a WhatsApp group. Anyway one friend pipes up oh I want a kitten (first I'd heard) but it needs to be (certain colour) as her cat that colour had died (again first if heard) then says oh is that "colour" I see I said no they are cream. She kind of dismissed that and went on...in the end it was like she was having one.
Then she said oh her dc (in 20's) lives at home wants a pure (colour) one......"so that's 2 off your hands" no mention of how much or what I was planning on doing with them etc.

Now they are t just standard moggies they are part pedigree and rare colours and markings so if they were to be sold they would sell for around £200. Though I'm keeping 2 and it's not really about the money just the fact no money was mentioned. She's someone I've not known long or even been to her house! For context.so not my best mate or anything.
Anyway one of the kittens is really standoutish biggest one....she somehow put a claim in for that one for her dc 🙈 we were actually keeping that one so just said I'd let her know.
Anyway another friend on the group asked the other day if I had any left and how much...before I'd even answered she'd put "you can't have them 2 we "bagsied" them first. Wtf.
I've honestly just had enough without going into great detail I have shown another friend the messages and she's said she's manipulated it from the start....I know I should have been clear from the start but I'm stupid like that and felt bad. There are a lot of friends etc that would love one of the kittens but I now feel backed into a corner and I'm upset that someone could actually assume that they could have them for free like I just want rid of happiky keep them all honestly.
I never once asked anyone if they wanted a kitten just posted a pic! I don't want to fall out with anyone over it but also don't know what to do....another thing that worries me is she smokes in her house and smokes weed and I don't want the kitten around that.. she is a friend and we get really really well but the kittens are my babies and I don't just want to give them away like they are unwanted they are really loved.

@Shinyandnew1 they are 4 weeks tommorrow this has gone on since they were born....and as for being at my wits end I really am as I don't like upsetting people and I kind of just went along with it stupidly without even being asked...so this is my fault for not being blunt but in the moment I just wasn't thinking.....

I’d rather just get it sorted-ending four weeks of worry would outweigh the thought of briefly upsetting someone who is being really rude! Send a text now!

Yes you are right but I live more or less the dog woman so awkward....and she would do anything for anyone so it's hard as it is just the dog thing when I mentioned the dogs she said she will keep kitten in dc room.....so thinking if I mention it again there will be more "solutions" but a cat living in fear locked in a room isn't a solution is it

Do you think she would pay £400 for them anyway?

When the other friend on the group asked if there was any she asked how much...cf friend replied with a laughing emoji "we haven't asked how much yet just need to fill our cat quota" 🤨
She still hasn't asked
Dog friend I spoke to and I said it's not about the money just good homes and she said I know it's not about the money and didn't offer any regardless
I just said I'd let her know which one was left but now every convo she puts the kittens into it like "son won't stop going on about kittens" as an example xcuse to why it took 10 minutes to reply to a txt....or stopping my oh in the shop no "hi" just kitten kitten kitten oh he's named it already etc even though she's never seen them or doesn't know what sex I feel it's a bit of emotional blackmail I spose I just don't want to think that of people I thought were friends.

"No" would be even better.

They are your kittens you set the rules.

It doesn’t matter if you live near her , you are keeping 2 and the rest will be gone .

Well I would say to this person 'sorry but you were right in the first place, I don't think a kitten would be a good idea in a home with dogs that are not familiar with cats and it really wouldn't be fair to keep them locked in a single room'

Yes....BUT my issue now is every convo starts on about the kittens saying her son has named it (even though they don't know sex)...to my oh in local shop! Answering my questions "oh sorry only just seen this son was goi g on about kitten" abd it's maki g me feel guilty so can't just say no right away son is older teen he has a pet of a certain type and they've just gave away one of them as he neglected it I know I know doesn't sound good.
I just don't know if this is emotional blackmail? Her son has "issues" which she knows I can relate to so from day one it was like "son wants one" not we, and it's sons excited not "we"

OP you sound like a kind hearted person who doesn't like confrontation.

I'm afraid the hard truth is that by not being honest with these people you are not being kind. This woman has clearly manipulated the situation and is continuing to do so and now her son is involved.

You need to put a stop to this. Now. On the WhatsApp chat. In writing.

It won't go away, these people won't suddenly see sense and won't suddenly be reasonable or work out that you've not actually offered them.

So I'm sorry you need to put on your big girl pants and send a very clear message immediately. "Sorry if people have misunderstood but the kittens are not actually for sale"

I know this must feel so hard for you
Sorry

This has gone on for far longer than needed. I am a reformed people pleaser OP, I get it, but you need to think that you’re advocating for those innocent little lives. They’re more important than that woman’s feelings

This! You’re making it worse by saying/doing nothing.

Post on the group:

I’m getting ready to rehome the kittens when they turn 12 weeks. I have advised by mumsnet that the going rate for a kitten is £200. Given these are half pedigree, I am going to charge £300. They need to go to a home without other pets because (insert random excuse - that’s what I want/they aren’t used to dogs/that’s what MumsNet told me/they don’t deal well with other animals) and the new owners must be experienced cat owners with/without a garden and have someone at home X hours a day because the kittens like company. They are now bonded pairs so A and B have to go together and C and D have to go together. Are you still interested?

If they are still interested, say:
Ok, I have interest from other buyers too. How much are you willing to pay?

And either accept a ridiculously higher offer or say:
unfortunately, they’ve been promised to another home now but I’ll let you know if anything changes.

Howay man OP, strap on a pair.

Tell her she can't have her own way. This is way beyond people pleasing. Get the bugger told.

Or ask her for a grand each for the cats. That'll probably nip it in the bud.

It doesn’t matter-stop trying to work out what it might be called, what the reason behind it is etc, just send a text sorting it!

Yes I am soft and an idiot just don't want to belive that they aren't really "friends"

They can still be your friends-separate the issues here.

Are you going to send a message?

Hard as I went along with it I will send one just thinking what's best to say.....

How about something like this.
I know you're excited about the kitten, and I should have said this at the beginning, but I'm afraid I am going to have to disappoint your son. The kitten you want is staying with me and the siblings already have other homes lined up. Apologies for not saying this sooner but I was struggling with how to tell you.

Christ, no.I wouldn't let a kitten within half a mile of 3 Jack Russells. I used to work on a farm and have seen how they kill rats. One of the JRTs had puppies once, she whelped overnight and killed them. The farmer came down to a dreadful scene in the morning.

@Merapi she killed her own puppies? Why ?

Omg that's awful...her dogs are ok they can be nippy and I hear them snarling at other dogs on the street it's the fact it's 3 of them.....I've made my decision on that anyway thankfully her and her son haven't seen.. or seen pics of the kittens they haven't picked one......

OMG do not even consider giving a precious kitten to this woman! Neither of them have suitable homes. No way would I give a kitten to someone with three JRTs untested with cats - they'd most likely kill it - and a bedroom is a shit idea to keep a kitten in. It would never work anyway!!

For reference, it's a good idea to get whoever rehomes your kittens to pay you. You can donate it to a cat rescue. I paid £75 and £85 for my moggies a year and a half ago and I think rates have gone up since then.

They hadn't picked one or even seen them or any pictures as I only posted one pic the day after they were born so you couldn't even see them.....she knows herself about the dogs as she said I could never have a cat so where this sudden wanting a kitten has come from I don't know! I want to be honest with her and say it's because of the dogs as I'm worried she will end up buying elsewhere and don't want any kitten to have to live like that.