I honestly could re home him tomorrow! I hate him!

[Windchangeface]

I’m at breaking point with our cat.
Had him since 8 weeks old and he’s now been with us 4 years. We have done everything for him and totally adored him but he’s suddenly turned into a giant GIANT asshole!
He’s always been a bit unfriendly and only wanted us when he wanted us, fine but now he’s wrecking my house, refuses to have a single door closed on him (dining room we never use, downstairs loo, utility room) rooms he has no interest or business in he’ll scratch all the paintwork off the door if it’s not left open. Moment he gets in he isn’t interested and leaves but not before ripping up ALL the furniture. Just bought a new dresser yesterday and he’s already taken chunks out I’m devastated! (He has all sort of scratching posts/boards he never uses) The cost of all the damage he’s causing is hundreds now! He’s completely ruined our wrap around bannister.

We can’t close our bedroom door else he kicks up SUCH a fuss it wakes everyone up. We are about to have our second baby and don’t trust him at all in a room with a newborn whilst we sleep so no idea what to do.

He runs in and out of my legs on the stairs and has very nearly tripped me on several occasions to the point I’ve physically had to kick him out of the way (12 month old DS in my arms, heavily pregnant) he ignores me 70% of the day then choses the most inconvenient or dangerous 30% to be my shadow. Wakes me up in the night, despite always having plenty of food and water. Refuses to go outside but kicks off to be let out the kitchen door constantly. Never actually leaves though. We had to take away his cat door a year ago as he started dragging in baby mice and torturing them (not killing them just hurting/playing with them).

Try and give him affection or play with him whilst DS naps...not interested. He only wants it when he wants it and that only ever at 3am or when I’m on the stairs/loo.

We’ve tried everything, sprays, toys, diffuser, vet is at a loss too. I never thought I’d say it but at this point I could happily re home him tomorrow as he’s driving me insane!

Maybe it would better all round if you did🙂?

I do love him to pieces and think I’d always wonder where he was and if he was ok. I don’t want to do that I just don’t know what else I can do feel like I’ve tried everything and nothing is working.

Maybe better suited as a farm dcat?

I hate cats... horrible creatures. Don't have any attachment to their owners.

Good God, no way would I put up with that and with a new baby on the way.
Rehome him.

It sounds like he’s gone nocturnal... have you tried locking him out during the day and only letting him in at night? I’d give him one big meal a day just before bedtime as well, so out all day, in at bedtime, big meal then hopefully he’ll go to sleep.

Do you trim his claws? Worth doing if not, that should minimise the damage...

I can hear you’re at the end of your tether. It is okay to rehome him if you really can’t cope. Animals and babies are hard. We had both but there were many times I wished we hadn’t!

I rehomed a cat just like yours - as in, I took him in. He came from a loving family who had one small child and were having their second baby. He was exactly like you describe and they were worried about him with a newborn. I lived on my own at the time and we lived in companionable aloof-ness for 8 years until he died. We were in a rural area and he spent most of his time out mousing, and had a very happy rest of his life. Rehome him!

Sounds like he's feeling a bit pushed to the side, what with your 12 month old and another on the way. Cats are funny creatures, and I've always found Tom's harder than girls.

Has he ever been affectionate since you've had him? Do you find yourself 'ignoring' him at any point because you're busy with your little one? I only ask because I found myself doing the same with my girl cat and she started acting up as it was her way of getting attention... They're like kids honestly!! My son is 3 now and my fur baby is happy as can be now, but it took me having to make time for her instead of say, doing housework so that she felt loved etc still. She's a member of the family and the option to rehome her was never up for discussion so it was on us to make her happy again.

If you really can't find a way to make it work then a new home where he gets more attention may be best for him. If you do go down this route, please don't give him to just anybody. Please find a rehoming centre where they'll vet potential new owners.

Wishing you luck!! x

Thanks for all the replies.

He’s a funny one as can be affectionate when he wants to be right now he’s sleeping on the bed with DH (working nights) but he does often bite (not hard more playing) when you stroke him and if he’s not in the mood he’ll have non of it. He hates strangers and runs/hides from anyone who isn’t us. He’s scared of his own shadow and if we put him outside he goes mental and cries/scratches the wood door to be let back in!

He’s definitely gone nocturnal but we’ve tried so many approaches to correct his behaviour it’s not like we’ve not tried. Non of it worked. Even the vet is out of advice! Sometimes it gets better for a few days then back to this. He adores DH and makes it so hard as he frequently works nights and sleeps in the day so it’s probably quite confusing for cat.

DH adores cat and won’t hear of re homing him but he works 60 hours a week so it’s not him having to deal with cat it’s me!

He sounds very like my cat. Apart from the scratching and destructive behaviour . Mine is also a moody unfriendly bugger. Only comes for affection when he wants food. Never sits on laps, hates strangers, hates plastics bags and the sound of banging. I have had mine since he was 8 weeks old so I know he has always been treated well. It’s just his personality. I long for a friendly lap cat.

You sound totally fed up and can’t imagine your feelings will improve once new baby arrives. I’d look into rehiring, which I hate saying as there are enough cats in rescues already.

As an aside, I wish people wouldn’t take kittens at such a young age. It’s best if they are with mother/siblings until around 12 weeks as this is where they learn the majority of their “socialisation/acceptable behaviour” skills. Doesn’t mean you’ll get a perfect cat, but I definitely discount anyone who is willing to let kittens go at 8 weeks.

If your husband really wants to keep him, then there needs to be a compromise. IMO, you need to reinstate the cat-flap. Your husband will have to agree to deal with whatever your cat brings in overnight. I think this would help cat massively - having the freedom to go out when his body clock dictates. Most cats hate a door being shut on them, so no surprise that he’s crying/scratching to be let in. I think if the flap was reintroduced, you may notice a difference in behaviour - but your husband needs to take responsibility for nocturnal gifts.

I’d push for trying this for 8 weeks. And, after that (relatively short) timeframe, if your husband can’t cope or your cat is still unhappy, then you owe it to the cat to help rehome - the current situation is an inconvenience to you, but cat is a sentient being that requires it’s owner to do the best by it.

Good luck.

Rehoming, not rehiring! Flipping autocorrect

I think he'd be more suited to being an outdoor cat. On a farm. Outdoors. He sounds like Damien from the film The Omen! Fuck that.

@mrsohmaybeno

I hate cats... horrible creatures. Don't have any attachment to their owners.

Why on earth would you bother checking out The Litter Tray then? 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣

He hates the outdoors, I don’t see how keeping him outside is going to help. Your DH needs to do more to help.

I could be shot down for this.
Do you have a secure, dry garage or shed? Preferably one with a heat source or electricity so you can put a heated bed in? My parents have a female cat, who is mainly lovely, not very affectionate, sleeps most of the day, not aggressive during the day but can not be left near adult sleeping humans! She bats you round the face, pulls your hair and if that fails to rouse you, she claws you. For everyone’s safety she is locked in the garage at night. Food, water, litter tray, bed on central heating boiler and everyone is safe. They don’t let her out at night because she kept getting beaten up by the neighboured bully cat and despite her quirks she’s much loved.

When you get to the point that you are kicking him (I understand he was in your way) then for his sake you need to find him a new home. He sounds v v anxious & in need of attention that you don't have time to give. How does your vet explain this needy & demanding behaviour...surely he has an opinion?

He sounds like a nasty little shit( excuse )
We have 3 cats all boys and the eldest one is nasty, that’s just him , he’s 9 now and to be honest he’s always been horrible.lol
Even the fox who sometimes comes to our garden is scared of him.
That’s cats for you.

I agree with pp - pop him outside for a big chunk of the day, making sure he has somewhere warm and dry.

Back inside when it's getting dark. Food, play, cuddles and hopefully he'll settle in a warm spot.

Can he sleep overnight in the utility room or another room where he can't scratch up any furniture or disturb you?

Another OP who wants to get rid of an animal now that kids are arriving. 🙄 Poor cat.

Has he been fixed?

Rehome him. Before you kick him hard enough to break his ribs or do some other damage to the poor animal.

Is he neutered? Please try that before you re-home him. Male cats get hormonal too. He may be reacting to your pregnancy hormones or there may be a female in heat somewhere within a five mile radius of your home. You say he "suddenly turned into this" so there must be a trigger to turn him back, if you look.

@Furries
His mother had passed away so the kittens were alone very sad situation but as we understand it she’d been in very poor health.

@candlemasbells
Yes we have a huge double garage and he has access to that via a cat door. He has lots of room to explore but wouldn’t be happy to spend all his time out there!

@SionnachGlic
I would never kick him just for being in my way, he’s in my way a lot at the moment. I had to kick him maybe twice because I was mid staircase holding my toddler, can’t see my feet as it is. Tried nudging him and shouting to get him to move but he was glued to my feet. At that point I couldn’t move without putting myself, DS and bump in serious danger. Kicking an animal isn’t something I condone and would never do unless totally unavoidable.

@SofiaAmes
@GeorgiaGirl52
Yes he was neutered at around 1year old. We were cautious to get it done as he was going out much more at that time and there were more other cats around. Didn’t want him making kittens.

@LoveDrunk
That’s not fair at all. DS is a year old and we’ve been nothing but patient and resilient with cat. We’ve done everything we’ve been advised, we’ve bought every toy/gadget. Used the sprays and given him time/affection. His behaviour has only deteriorated and he doesn’t seem any happier than we are now.
We are hardly saying ‘oh there’s a baby now off you trot we’re done with you’ that’s not the case at all. But we can’t rehome the children and it’s starting to look like cat just doesn’t want to be in a family home.

As an aside, I wish people wouldn’t take kittens at such a young age. It’s best if they are with mother/siblings until around 12 weeks

I adopted my kitten at 9 weeks old because she was taken to the rescue shelter by the council at just 5 weeks old. She was alone and injured. Not everyone is buying their kittens from a breeder. There are plenty of kittens who are abandoned or rescued from negligent/abusive situations before that 12 week mark.