I honestly could re home him tomorrow! I hate him!

[Windchangeface]

I’m at breaking point with our cat.
Had him since 8 weeks old and he’s now been with us 4 years. We have done everything for him and totally adored him but he’s suddenly turned into a giant GIANT asshole!
He’s always been a bit unfriendly and only wanted us when he wanted us, fine but now he’s wrecking my house, refuses to have a single door closed on him (dining room we never use, downstairs loo, utility room) rooms he has no interest or business in he’ll scratch all the paintwork off the door if it’s not left open. Moment he gets in he isn’t interested and leaves but not before ripping up ALL the furniture. Just bought a new dresser yesterday and he’s already taken chunks out I’m devastated! (He has all sort of scratching posts/boards he never uses) The cost of all the damage he’s causing is hundreds now! He’s completely ruined our wrap around bannister.

We can’t close our bedroom door else he kicks up SUCH a fuss it wakes everyone up. We are about to have our second baby and don’t trust him at all in a room with a newborn whilst we sleep so no idea what to do.

He runs in and out of my legs on the stairs and has very nearly tripped me on several occasions to the point I’ve physically had to kick him out of the way (12 month old DS in my arms, heavily pregnant) he ignores me 70% of the day then choses the most inconvenient or dangerous 30% to be my shadow. Wakes me up in the night, despite always having plenty of food and water. Refuses to go outside but kicks off to be let out the kitchen door constantly. Never actually leaves though. We had to take away his cat door a year ago as he started dragging in baby mice and torturing them (not killing them just hurting/playing with them).

Try and give him affection or play with him whilst DS naps...not interested. He only wants it when he wants it and that only ever at 3am or when I’m on the stairs/loo.

We’ve tried everything, sprays, toys, diffuser, vet is at a loss too. I never thought I’d say it but at this point I could happily re home him tomorrow as he’s driving me insane!

If my husband starting abusing and destroying my property, attacking me, bringing in dead birds or vermin, then trying to kill me and my child on the stairs, I'd boot him out! This is not a human. It's a fucking cat!

LST my cat stays out in all weathers, but with access to an indoor space, which is what I suggested. However I said OP could get a cat flap, or give the cat access to an indoor space. It is also now spring, and I said OP could see if the behaviour improved. Presumably she will know by winter if it hasn't so could rehome (my other advice).

I think I am repeating myself now

He just needs to be out more!

So do I. I don't go around trying to kill anyone, chewing furniture and not allowing me to sleep at night. Fucking ridiculous. It's a cat!

It's a cat, not a human! Just rehome him. He sounds like a right pain in the arse.

*It's a cat!

Yes, we gathered.

When did the behaviour start? Was he like this before your Dh started doing nights? Perhaps he just misses him?!

Or maybe it was the arrival of the baby.

Sorry OP no ideas - sounds horrendous (and I have 3 cats).

Your DS is one and you’re due your next baby soon. Just wondering if this could be related to your pregnancy hormones? My cat was so aggressive and horrible while I was pregnant, and he calmed down again totally once baby arrived. Just wondering if you got pregnant again quite soon after DS was born, he may have calmed down again for a while but you may not have taken it in if you were busy with DS. Just a thought. Hope you find a solution.

In an ideal world, accommodation could be made for the cat. Cat flap put back in, Mum, with a toddler and a newborn would duly clean up the mice or birds and get back to parenting her two young children. While wearing gloves, having to disinfect the floor space and disposing of the vermin or whatever it was (while heavily pregnant and soon to be a new mother to an infant). She would pause on the stairs to await her cat to free her from his entanglement around her feet. She would not complain about her house being destroyed by a cat. She would leave every door open and stay awake at night in case the cat destroyed her newborn child.

Or she could say = fuck no and rehome him.

I don't understand why everyone is so keen for OP to rehome! It doesn't sound like her husband would be up for it and the cat doesn't sound that bad to me! Get the cat flap back in place and play with him more/get him a play mate.

No one else has suggested catifying your home more... it will help the cat relax and feel secure in the house with small children, especially when the new baby arrives. It may also help focus where the cat scratches. The other option here is to just accept that cats and toddlers destroy your furniture... I would rather have tatty sofas and happy kids/cats than a 'nice' house. We have very few doors in our house due to it's layout which helps the cats move around. OP, have you considered toddler gates to prevent your children getting into rooms they shouldn't be in, without preventing the cat getting in there? It would give him more space to own and might make him a bit more relaxed.

www.jacksongalaxy.com/blog/catifying-your-home-for-harmony/

These could be useful around the time the baby arrives

www.shop.myfamilyvets.co.uk/online-shop/product-details?id=271

It's a CAT! Goodness me.

I don't understand why everyone is so keen for OP to rehome! It doesn't sound like her husband would be up for it and the cat doesn't sound that bad to me!

The cat doesn’t sound too bad at all but the OP admits she hates him and has kicked him when he was in her way.

If she rehomes him he has a chance of being adopted by a family who loves him, rather than living out the rest of his life being hated and probably ignored by the people who are supposed to care for him. It’s a no-brainer.

@Windchangeface

I’m at breaking point with our cat. Had him since 8 weeks old and he’s now been with us 4 years. We have done everything for him and totally adored him but he’s suddenly turned into a giant GIANT asshole! He’s always been a bit unfriendly and only wanted us when he wanted us, fine but now he’s wrecking my house, refuses to have a single door closed on him (dining room we never use, downstairs loo, utility room) rooms he has no interest or business in he’ll scratch all the paintwork off the door if it’s not left open. Moment he gets in he isn’t interested and leaves but not before ripping up ALL the furniture. Just bought a new dresser yesterday and he’s already taken chunks out I’m devastated! (He has all sort of scratching posts/boards he never uses) The cost of all the damage he’s causing is hundreds now! He’s completely ruined our wrap around bannister.

We can’t close our bedroom door else he kicks up SUCH a fuss it wakes everyone up. We are about to have our second baby and don’t trust him at all in a room with a newborn whilst we sleep so no idea what to do.

He runs in and out of my legs on the stairs and has very nearly tripped me on several occasions to the point I’ve physically had to kick him out of the way (12 month old DS in my arms, heavily pregnant) he ignores me 70% of the day then choses the most inconvenient or dangerous 30% to be my shadow. Wakes me up in the night, despite always having plenty of food and water. Refuses to go outside but kicks off to be let out the kitchen door constantly. Never actually leaves though. We had to take away his cat door a year ago as he started dragging in baby mice and torturing them (not killing them just hurting/playing with them).

Try and give him affection or play with him whilst DS naps...not interested. He only wants it when he wants it and that only ever at 3am or when I’m on the stairs/loo.

We’ve tried everything, sprays, toys, diffuser, vet is at a loss too. I never thought I’d say it but at this point I could happily re home him tomorrow as he’s driving me insane!

Your cat sounds like a perfectly normal cat. I have several cats and my furniture and walls are a mess, I also have children and my walls and furniture are a mess - as are my carpets and cupboards. some of my cats like to be outside at night, some during the day and some want to stay indoors. When I was first pregnant I took in a particularly obnoxious cat as he needed help. Just like a child, cats need love and understanding. Cheese and rice! I think it's very mental to not understand cats to such an extent. Cats can be dickheads, but beleive me, kids can be even worse but Id never get rid of mine - cats or kids!

@FabulousIAm
Exactly!

@ThatsShitTryHarder
She said he's recently become an "asshole" so she hasn't hated him from day 1... I think there is more she could try before going for the extreme option of rehoming him. OP is probably stressed due to being pregnant and having a toddler to look after and sometimes an annoying cat is just the last straw. It's temporary. I think she just needs to relax about the state of her house (pretty essential with baby 2 on the way anyway) and let the cat nose around the utility room if he wants to.

Finally, I've been in the same situation on the stairs multiple times and have had to gently kick the cat out the way cause they can be stubborn little creatures sometimes and I don't want to fall on top of the cat or the child I'm carrying... the cat will have been fine and barely batted an eyelid. It won't have been flying through the air into the wall, just slightly inconvenienced until it got out the way. Get a grip, people!

It won't have been flying through the air into the wall, just slightly inconvenienced until it got out the way. Get a grip, people!

No one said the cat was “flying through the air into the wall”. People are just repeating what the OP herself said - that she kicked her cat out of the way as she was coming down the stairs.

I don’t know why it’s so difficult to grasp this point. It’s what the OP said she did - there’s no need to minimise it or pretend it was a minor thing. She was quite open about it.

Though you wouldn’t blame her if she came back to the thread and changed her story now she can see there are people on here who don’t have a problem with someone kicking their cat.

This is a young cat, who was neutered late, and who has had his home life completely turned upside down, it's not really surprising that he's showing behavioural problems. The flap needs reinstating, and his house access overnight can be restricted to kitchen/utility to reduce the spread of hunting spoils and stop him being an arsehole* when you're sleeping.

*IMHO the best cats are arseholes, we just have to find ways to live with them.

The other thing you can do if you do decide to keep him and reinstate the cat flap is look at his diet. Cats who eat a diet of mainly meat rather than mainly biscuits are statistically less likely to catch and kill birds/mice. So make sure he's getting lots of meat and fish, then he may (may!) be less interested in catching things.

If you don't reinstate the cat flap you need to ensure someone is playing with him for at least 20 minutes a day, using toys, string etc. This will help him work off some steam.

I hope you do come back to the thread OP even though you have had a bit of a kicking. There are some good possible solutions here which would be worth a try. Good luck.

Has anyone suggested using a Feliway plug in?
4 is still quite a rambunctious age for boy cats. He's full of beans and attitude.
Cats are little gits for stair tripping which is no fun at any time but really unacceptable when pregnant.
If you want to give the cat one last chance, I'd get a Feliway. Shut him in the garage overnight. Put him in a higher protein diet and get someone to really play with him and get him occupied.
Failing that, there's good demand for young cats through rescues and some of his behaviours may be less of an issue elsewhere.
I reckon your pregnancy hormones have sent him a bit loopy too!
Ultimately you have to decide what's best for you and him.

that she kicked her cat out of the way as she was coming down the stairs.

What else could she do? Trip over him, killing herself, cat, unborn baby, toddler?

Some cats are just assholes. Lots, actually.

But I suspect a large part of what is going on here is that you have had one child, are now pregnant with another, and you no longer have time for his bullshit. He is aware of this, and is stepping up the bullshit, because he can.

If your DH wants to keep him, you should probably just accept his personality the same way you would if one of your children turns out to be obnoxious.

I have fond memories of various asshole cats we had when I was growing up.

@ismiseeire

that she kicked her cat out of the way as she was coming down the stairs.

What else could she do? Trip over him, killing herself, cat, unborn baby, toddler?

Seriously, you have made your “point” over and over on this thread. We get it.

I have “reservations” about people I Meet that don’t like animals, never want them in the house, think they are dirty smelly etc.

I have more serious reservations over people that take an animal in, complain about what it does instinctively and then have no qualms about admitting that they kicked it. Too many people take an animal on and expect it to “fit” into their life. How about people make sure that their circumstances “fit” taking in a sentient being and all that that particular species/breed entails?

The OP has been given sound advice - most importantly, reinstate the bloody cat flap. This could go a long way to resolving some of the problems.

And for anyone reading this in the future - if you can’t/won’t /don’t want to deal with what a cat may catch and bring inside - then don’t get a cat. They’re not all killing machines (one of mine, now sadly gone, couldn’t catch a blooming cold).

I’m completely torn on this OP. Part of me wants her to try what’s been advised, part of me wants the cat to have a home where it’s more suited.

If the OP is going to keep it on, the husband needs to step up more. No good just being broken at the thought of cat going. Step up, sort out the results of cat flap being reinstated.

Again, to anyone in the future reading this - cats are not “easy” pets to get just because they don’t need to be walked/trained like a dog.

And, seriously, don’t flipping kit cats. If you’re that worried about tripping over a cat on the stairs with young children, there’s a pretty simple answer. Install a gate at the bottom of the stairs, so no cats allowed upstairs. And, for those who will argue “my house is open plan, can’t do that” - then think about whether a cat is the right pet for you at that stage of your life.

People want people to adopt cats etc., yet when they do and it doesn't work out, you're a parriah here! A child is more important than a cat. The poster is not the cat's mother! But she is mother to humans. Little humans. Baby humans. The babies will be more important to her than a cat who knows exactly what it's doing by trying to trip her up on the stairs. As I said, I fell and broke my collarbone trying to untangle a cat from my legs. I fell awkwardly as I wasn't able to put a foot forward to prevent the fall as the bloody cat was around my legs. It happened so fast, that I didn't have time to think. If I had had time to think i would have kicked the cat off me. I was 12 weeks unable to drive. 4 weeks unable to look after my own child!! She had to go and live with her grandmother as it was my right collarbone and I'm right handed. I couldn't drive, I couldn't lift anything as my left arm appears to be very weak! I could only wear certain trousers which I could pull up with my left arm. I couldn't dress myself, couldn't get in or out of bath. Couldn't get tops off. All because of a fucking CAT!

I spend hours looking at cat videos. I love their arsehole personalities. I love their attitudes - disdain mixed with occasional adoration - just enough to keep their owners feeding them. I find them most amusing. But they are also evil little fuckers and if it's not working out, it's not working out! I also often wander into The Litter Tray on here just to see photos of the beautiful cats.

I have 2 ideal pets. A chihuhua and a Siamese cat. Neither of those are going to happen, but I'd like to see the stand-off between them in my house. I love both of the breeds for their unusual looks and utter attitude. They SO love themselves. It might end in a military coup where they take over and I'm found dead years later.

I had a little shit of a cat. He would attack me, he was semi rural rat catcher. We moved to a town and I was wishing that I’d have left him in the country. Before I gave up on him I gave him zylkene and over 2 weeks he turned into the most sweetest cat in the world! He’s laying on my chest snoring at the moment so give yours one last try then give him up if you have to. Best of luck to you and the little one x

Sorry I’d sort of lost track of this post as crazy busy few days.

didn’t realise how the kicking comment would be taken, as I wrote in last post I had to ‘kick’ him maybe twice after stopping, nudging with my foot and shouting/making noise didn’t work. At which point mine and my sons and bumps safety were In serious danger and I was essentially trapped on the stairs.

By kick I mean ‘a bit harder than a foot nudge’ enough to knock him down a step or two but Absolutely not hard enough to hurt him or even earn a yowl/noise from him. He didn’t seem to think anything of it. I still felt bad about it though.