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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

I honestly could re home him tomorrow! I hate him!

154 replies

Windchangeface · 28/03/2021 12:22

I’m at breaking point with our cat.
Had him since 8 weeks old and he’s now been with us 4 years. We have done everything for him and totally adored him but he’s suddenly turned into a giant GIANT asshole!
He’s always been a bit unfriendly and only wanted us when he wanted us, fine but now he’s wrecking my house, refuses to have a single door closed on him (dining room we never use, downstairs loo, utility room) rooms he has no interest or business in he’ll scratch all the paintwork off the door if it’s not left open. Moment he gets in he isn’t interested and leaves but not before ripping up ALL the furniture. Just bought a new dresser yesterday and he’s already taken chunks out I’m devastated! (He has all sort of scratching posts/boards he never uses) The cost of all the damage he’s causing is hundreds now! He’s completely ruined our wrap around bannister.

We can’t close our bedroom door else he kicks up SUCH a fuss it wakes everyone up. We are about to have our second baby and don’t trust him at all in a room with a newborn whilst we sleep so no idea what to do.

He runs in and out of my legs on the stairs and has very nearly tripped me on several occasions to the point I’ve physically had to kick him out of the way (12 month old DS in my arms, heavily pregnant) he ignores me 70% of the day then choses the most inconvenient or dangerous 30% to be my shadow. Wakes me up in the night, despite always having plenty of food and water. Refuses to go outside but kicks off to be let out the kitchen door constantly. Never actually leaves though. We had to take away his cat door a year ago as he started dragging in baby mice and torturing them (not killing them just hurting/playing with them).

Try and give him affection or play with him whilst DS naps...not interested. He only wants it when he wants it and that only ever at 3am or when I’m on the stairs/loo.

We’ve tried everything, sprays, toys, diffuser, vet is at a loss too. I never thought I’d say it but at this point I could happily re home him tomorrow as he’s driving me insane!

OP posts:
HildegardeCrowe · 29/03/2021 11:08

What an unbelievably vile post @Lovedrunk, slinging abuse at a total stranger. I have huge sympathy OP (am cat and dog owner). Seems you’ve gone above and beyond to find a way to live with this demanding creature. I’d rehome but would appear this isn’t possible because of your OH. I agree, reinstate cat flap and take it from there. Good luck and don’t feel bad.

CarrieMoonbeams · 29/03/2021 11:15

How come, when someone posts asking for advice on where to get a kitten, some people pile on and berate that OP for not taking on an older, rescued cat? But then we have a situation like this where the cat is obviously really unhappy, and some people are piling on this OP for considering rehoming her cat?

(I have to say though OP, it made me really sad when you said you'd kicked him though.)

I have lots of animals, many of them are rescues. Some have come from a home like the OP's where they just weren't the right fit for that family any more, but they're happy here because we have a very quiet life, plenty of space, and there's always another animal who's up for a game or a cuddle. I always say that their (the original owners) loss is my gain.

LoveDrunk · 29/03/2021 11:43

What an unbelievably vile post @Lovedrunk, slinging abuse at a total stranger.

Vile for stating that the cat is behaving like cats do. It’s had its cat flap taken away, a child arrive and it’s owner kick it.....🙄 My friend runs a rescue and sees people like this all the time. The cat is better off without an owner that is irresponsible and abusive....I just wish people like this were not allowed animals ever again. Let’s hope her parenting of children is of a higher standard.

ThatsShitTryHarder · 29/03/2021 11:50

@CarrieMoonbeams

How come, when someone posts asking for advice on where to get a kitten, some people pile on and berate that OP for not taking on an older, rescued cat? But then we have a situation like this where the cat is obviously really unhappy, and some people are piling on this OP for considering rehoming her cat?

(I have to say though OP, it made me really sad when you said you'd kicked him though.)

I have lots of animals, many of them are rescues. Some have come from a home like the OP's where they just weren't the right fit for that family any more, but they're happy here because we have a very quiet life, plenty of space, and there's always another animal who's up for a game or a cuddle. I always say that their (the original owners) loss is my gain.

Rescue centres see it over and over again.

The cat is welcomed as part of the family, then a baby comes along and suddenly the cat “isn’t a good fit”.

Just rehome, OP. The rescue workers will inwardly roll their eyes at another cat being handed over because of a new baby, but they will ensure it goes to a home where it is loved and appreciated.

petridishmystery · 29/03/2021 12:38

@SoupDragon

OP, can you confirm that you shoved the cat out of the way with your foot rather than drop kicked him down the stairs as some people seem confused.
I read “kicked him out the way” as shoved out the way with her foot like you say tbh
LoveDrunk · 29/03/2021 14:12

I read “kicked him out the way” as shoved out the way with her foot like you say tbh

She said she physically had to kick him... not shoved...she kicked him...

ThatsShitTryHarder · 29/03/2021 15:40

I read “kicked him out the way” as shoved out the way with her foot like you say tbh

So you read a word that wasn’t there and ignored a word that was? Why would you do that? The OP couldn’t have been clearer about the fact that she kicked her cat because he was in the way.

ismiseeire · 29/03/2021 16:36

About 15 years ago, my DMs cat was twirling around my feet/legs, I fell over as I got tangled up trying not to hurt the cat, onto a tiled floor and broke my collarbone! A pregnant woman carrying a toddler on a stairs, with a cat who wants you dead (only half joking), is not a good plan. You would sort of have to be forceful in kicking them off you in order to avoid you yourself taking a twirl down the staircase! They can sort of manage to twirl in front of one leg and behind the other one and it's very hard to get them off without somehow kicking them (accidentally).

ismiseeire · 29/03/2021 16:39

@ThatsShitTryHarder

I read “kicked him out the way” as shoved out the way with her foot like you say tbh

So you read a word that wasn’t there and ignored a word that was? Why would you do that? The OP couldn’t have been clearer about the fact that she kicked her cat because he was in the way.

I know what cats do when they curl around your feet/legs. Fine when you're sitting down, they can do what they like, but if on a staircase, pregnant and already unstable due to carrying a toddler, I'm afraid I'd have to forcibly remove him from my foot too. It's me, my unborn child and toddler at risk. She probably didn't drop kick him to the bottom of the staircase, but 'kicked' him off her foot!
ismiseeire · 29/03/2021 16:43

I abhorr cruelty to animals, but in this case the cat is not a good fit. Bringing in dead vermin/birds wouldn't suit me either. The OP couldn't have known how things would turn out as most cats that I've known throughout my life usually fit in quite well in a family. This cat just isn't the right fit for the OP. She shouldn't be expected to favour a cat over her choice to have more children!

ismiseeire · 29/03/2021 16:45

And while it is normal for some cats to be hunters, not all are.

ThatsShitTryHarder · 29/03/2021 17:08

She probably didn't drop kick him to the bottom of the staircase, but 'kicked' him off her foot!

Why do people keep talking about “dropkicking”?

The OP stated clearly that she kicked him out of the way. The word kicked doesn’t need speech marks, it’s an actual word that means something.

LoveDrunk · 29/03/2021 17:13

They’re trying to minimise the fact that she kicked her cat. And they’re doing that because they know that it’s a disgusting thing to do.

ismiseeire · 29/03/2021 17:14

Well what verb would you use to describe 'removing' a cat from your foot? Kicked is the obvious word as it involves a foot.

ladywithnomanors · 29/03/2021 17:17

Please rehome him to someone who has the time and patience to give him the attention he deserves. Someone without any other pets or children.

ismiseeire · 29/03/2021 17:18

verb
1.
strike or propel forcibly with the foot.
"I think someone just kicked down my door"
Similar:
boot
punt
strike with the foot
propel
drive
knock
send
blooter
put the boot into
welly

I'd say the OP was in the 'propelling forcibly with the foot' territory. You can kick something off you without injuring them or intending to. She could have 'shrugged him off'. She might have booted him in the gut. She could indeed have propelled him mid air until he landed at the bottom of the stairs. Given her precarious position on a stairs, I very much doubt she was in a position to be aiming and kicking him forcefully.

expectopelargonium · 29/03/2021 17:19

@mrsohmaybeno

I hate cats... horrible creatures. Don't have any attachment to their owners.
They form strong affectionate attachments to humans who actually like cats, and ignore those who don't.

Much like I do.

2bazookas · 29/03/2021 17:21

Have you had him neutered?

ThatsShitTryHarder · 29/03/2021 17:51

@LoveDrunk

They’re trying to minimise the fact that she kicked her cat. And they’re doing that because they know that it’s a disgusting thing to do.
I agree.

It’s kind of tricky that the OP stated quite clearly that she kicked him, though.

LoveDrunk · 29/03/2021 18:20

It’s kind of tricky that the OP stated quite clearly that she kicked him, though.

It’s definitely tricky to say she didn’t kick him when she wrote it.... no doubt these posters will keep trying to say she didn’t though despite it being written for all to see. 🙄

I wonder if OP had said she had kicked her toddler, as he kept getting under her feet, whether people would be excusing and minimising that too? 🤔

ismiseeire · 29/03/2021 18:38

If she was a violent cat abuser, she wouldn't have broadcast it. You do have to kick the fuckers off your feet. It's not kicking as such, it's just moving your foot so that they get off you. But ye, she kicked the cat, while balancing a toddler on a stairs. What else could she do? Kill herself, her unborn child and her toddler in favour of a CAT?

ismiseeire · 29/03/2021 18:39

LoveDrunk your posts are extraordinary.

ismiseeire · 29/03/2021 18:40

I broke my collarbone from a fucking cat coiling around my legs and causing me to fall hard onto a concrete and tiled floor. Add being on a stairs, heavily pregnant, carrying a toddler and yes I would have shaken/kicked cat off my feet too.

Randommother · 29/03/2021 18:41

As others have said, start with reinstating the cat flap. You should also invest in some humane mouse traps, for when he brings his prey in, which he will - but it's a natural part of cat behaviour I'm afraid.

I also agree with the posters which suggested catnip on his scratching posts, and foil around the things you dont want him using.

Have you tried a plug on feliway or similar to see if that helps calm him? It may be useful when the baby arrives. Good luck xx

LoveDrunk · 29/03/2021 18:43

LoveDrunk your posts are extraordinary.

Thanks. 😇

I’ve had cats and many other animals over the years as well as children and managed to never kick any of them. It’s really not that hard.