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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

I honestly could re home him tomorrow! I hate him!

154 replies

Windchangeface · 28/03/2021 12:22

I’m at breaking point with our cat.
Had him since 8 weeks old and he’s now been with us 4 years. We have done everything for him and totally adored him but he’s suddenly turned into a giant GIANT asshole!
He’s always been a bit unfriendly and only wanted us when he wanted us, fine but now he’s wrecking my house, refuses to have a single door closed on him (dining room we never use, downstairs loo, utility room) rooms he has no interest or business in he’ll scratch all the paintwork off the door if it’s not left open. Moment he gets in he isn’t interested and leaves but not before ripping up ALL the furniture. Just bought a new dresser yesterday and he’s already taken chunks out I’m devastated! (He has all sort of scratching posts/boards he never uses) The cost of all the damage he’s causing is hundreds now! He’s completely ruined our wrap around bannister.

We can’t close our bedroom door else he kicks up SUCH a fuss it wakes everyone up. We are about to have our second baby and don’t trust him at all in a room with a newborn whilst we sleep so no idea what to do.

He runs in and out of my legs on the stairs and has very nearly tripped me on several occasions to the point I’ve physically had to kick him out of the way (12 month old DS in my arms, heavily pregnant) he ignores me 70% of the day then choses the most inconvenient or dangerous 30% to be my shadow. Wakes me up in the night, despite always having plenty of food and water. Refuses to go outside but kicks off to be let out the kitchen door constantly. Never actually leaves though. We had to take away his cat door a year ago as he started dragging in baby mice and torturing them (not killing them just hurting/playing with them).

Try and give him affection or play with him whilst DS naps...not interested. He only wants it when he wants it and that only ever at 3am or when I’m on the stairs/loo.

We’ve tried everything, sprays, toys, diffuser, vet is at a loss too. I never thought I’d say it but at this point I could happily re home him tomorrow as he’s driving me insane!

OP posts:
catcat47 · 29/03/2021 09:07

I've finally made an account to post in here, not about babies, but cats haha!

You have my sympathy! I'm pregnant with my 3rd (human) and have three house cats. One of them in particular is always under my feet and clawing me in the back of the leg for attention, especially when I'm trying to get dinner cooked... he gets kicked accidentally (he's black so hard to see sometimes) and I have also experienced the situation on the stairs. They know exactly what they're doing and you just had to do what you did. No judgement from me and I'm sure you didn't kick him hard.

I can't help with cat flaps/mice since our cats don't go out... with regards to the cat bashing the door down at night, it took a very long time (weeks), but eventually the one who insists on sleeping in my room got bored and has given up. I share the same concerns with small babies and cats at night time/nap time. This cat also wants to sleep on my bump, so he's banned until I'm done having babies.

The only other major difference in our situation is I have more than one cat... have you thought of getting a second cat!? Sounds mad I know, but they will at least have eachother? Ours often snuggle up together at night after running around like mad once we've gone to bed. I would feel bad if they didn't have each other for company since they're house cats.

The garage idea sounds good to me if nothing else works. Your cat will hate it at first, but they get used to it eventually!
The other trick I've learned is to pick up whichever cat is pestering me and snuggle them and squeeze them and baby them until they get fed up and then they leave you alone. They're a reminder to myself to take a minute to relax and enjoy the world around me.

Good luck with your pregnancy and your furry toddler too :)

brogo · 29/03/2021 09:11

Hi op do you think it could be because you are pregnant? I ask because I'm also heavily pregnant and my cat is being more annoying than usual (not quite as naughty as yours) I also find myself short tempered and irritated with him. I felt this way when I was pregnant with my son and it got better. Could he be picking up on how you feel? I've started being extra nice to my cat and it seems to have made a bit of a difference!

MizMoonshine · 29/03/2021 09:12

Outside my bedroom door, the carpet is in shreds! My cat hates doors being closed on her too. But we keep the bedroom door closed at all times because of the baby. Honestly, she's a nightmare. But we love her. We will be cat proofing the furniture.

catcat47 · 29/03/2021 09:13

My cats are too affectionate! I think it depends on their breed and personality... they just want snuggles constantly! I'll often compromise and stick them on my shoulder so I can get stuff done. I've also resorted to using baby slings at times. Rarely carried my actual children since they're much more independent ha!

ThatsShitTryHarder · 29/03/2021 09:14

Call a local rescue and ask them to take him in. They’ll have heard it all a thousand times before, especially when a new baby is on the way.

They will be as keen as you are to find him a loving forever home where no-one kicks him if he’s in the way.

catcat47 · 29/03/2021 09:15

@brogo

This is a good point! My cats definitely know when I'm pregnant.

catcat47 · 29/03/2021 09:17

@catcat47

My cats are too affectionate! I think it depends on their breed and personality... they just want snuggles constantly! I'll often compromise and stick them on my shoulder so I can get stuff done. I've also resorted to using baby slings at times. Rarely carried my actual children since they're much more independent ha!
@SushiYum sorry forgot to @ you in my reply
nancywhitehead · 29/03/2021 09:19

You sound a bit resentful as if the cat is somehow being unreasonable. It's a cat - an animal. It's not thinking about the effects of its actions on you. It's just being a cat, they all sound like pretty normal cat behaviour tbh, you were a bit unlucky to get one that scratches a lot but that's always a risk.

You could talk to the vet about solutions, or if you don't want the cat then rehome it. I'm concerned that you have physically kicked it and your overall attitude towards this animal is a bit worrying. Could be better all round to rehome.

nancywhitehead · 29/03/2021 09:22

You are completely unreasonable to take away the cat flap just because he was bringing in mice. That's what cats do - they're predators. If you've taken away his freedom to go outside then I'm not surprised some of his behaviours have changed.

Chemenger · 29/03/2021 09:26

I would say rehome him. It sounds as though he would be pretty easy to rehome, to be honest and he would be happier in a different home where he is more the centre of attention. However, I would try reopening the cat flap first. We had a foster in the first lock down who was an utter pain, biting, scratching furniture etc. Don’t tell CP but when it was clear we would have him for months we started letting him out. He was transformed. He loved being outside, running like a mad thing, climbing trees, smelling the flowers and chasing birds. Inside, he was calmer because he tired himself out.

steppemum · 29/03/2021 09:41

Ok, so one year ago, a baby arrived, you removed his cat flap and he started scrtching and being a little shit.

They are all connected.
if I was to track my cat (who is getting old and a lazy bugger) he would be in and out fo the cat flap 100 times per day.
If I was opening and shutting the door, he would be in and out 5 times a day.

I would be a bit tough. Kick him outside and ignore him for a couple of hours. He is young enough to be full of energy and he is taking that out on your furniture.
I would also make a clear decision on doors, shut them now and do not budge. If he has scratched them already, then a bit more damage isn't going to be the end of the world. If you catch him scratching, clap you hands loudly and say PSST, or some other sharp noise.

Shut him out of your bedroom at night every single night.
If he is alseep on the bed during the day, when bedtime comes pick him up take him out and shut the door. If he like dreamies etc, then put him down outside with a couple of dreamies and shut the door.

The first couple of nights will be hell, and then he will get used to it.

I have seen double sided sticky tape advised as a scratch deterrent, stick it on the areas they are scratching and when they scratch it feels horrible under their paws.

SoupDragon · 29/03/2021 09:59

OP, can you confirm that you shoved the cat out of the way with your foot rather than drop kicked him down the stairs as some people seem confused.

ThatsShitTryHarder · 29/03/2021 10:04

@SoupDragon

OP, can you confirm that you shoved the cat out of the way with your foot rather than drop kicked him down the stairs as some people seem confused.
Did anyone post that they thought the OP drop-kicked the cat down the stairs?

I can’t speak for anyone else who commented on that part of the OP, but for me, it was where the OP said:

I’ve physically had to kick him out of the way

Not “shoved him out of the way with her foot”. Kicked him out of the way. Couldn’t be clearer.

LoveDrunk · 29/03/2021 10:11

Not “shoved him out of the way with her foot”. Kicked him out of the way. Couldn’t be clearer.

Yep, she ‘physically kicked him out of the way.’ Let’s not minimise it. It’s a disgusting thing to do. I’d report her if I knew her in real life.

HerMammy · 29/03/2021 10:17

OP has said cat cries and stresses to get in the house yet half the posters are saying shut him out, he sounds like he’d be a farm
cat!! 🤷🏼‍♀️

HeartsAndClubs · 29/03/2021 10:18

Yep, she ‘physically kicked him out of the way.’ Let’s not minimise it. It’s a disgusting thing to do. I’d report her if I knew her in real life. so perhaps posters would have preferred it if the OP had fallen down the stairs with the baby and had a miscarriage then?

What exactly would posters have preferred the OP do while walking down the stairs, pregnant and with a baby in her arms?

FGS these boards attract all the mentalists.

The term “crazy cat person” exists for a reason...

LoveDrunk · 29/03/2021 10:21

What exactly would posters have preferred the OP do while walking down the stairs, pregnant and with a baby in her arms?

Well, you stop walking. Make a noise and the cat will move or wait for the cat to move. Anything except kick him really. It’s not hard, other people manage.

LoveDrunk · 29/03/2021 10:22

FGS these boards attract all the mentalists.

Yeah, it’s so crazy for a person not to kick animals. And realise that cats behave like ......well....cats. 🙄

ThatsShitTryHarder · 29/03/2021 10:32

@HeartsAndClubs

Yep, she ‘physically kicked him out of the way.’ Let’s not minimise it. It’s a disgusting thing to do. I’d report her if I knew her in real life. so perhaps posters would have preferred it if the OP had fallen down the stairs with the baby and had a miscarriage then?

What exactly would posters have preferred the OP do while walking down the stairs, pregnant and with a baby in her arms?

FGS these boards attract all the mentalists.

The term “crazy cat person” exists for a reason...

Yes, that’s exactly what people who condemn the OP kicking her cat have said they would prefer to have happened.

FFS.

HeartsAndClubs · 29/03/2021 10:38

Well, you stop walking. Make a noise and the cat will move or wait for the cat to move. Anything except kick him really. It’s not hard, other people manage.

HeartsAndClubs · 29/03/2021 10:39

Posted too soon....

The cat is aggressive and destructive. It scratches, bites and trapped the OP on the stairs with a young baby in her arms.

If this was a dog people would be telling her to rehome it or even to have it put to sleep.

LoveDrunk · 29/03/2021 10:46

The cat is aggressive and destructive. It scratches, bites and trapped the OP on the stairs with a young baby in her arms.

Lol. It’s a cat... How has the cat been aggressive? destructive? it’s scratched some paint and furniture, cats often do that. And the best one ‘it trapped the OP’ 🤣🤣🤣 It’s not a fucking lion in the wild !

LoveDrunk · 29/03/2021 10:48

If this was a dog people would be telling her to rehome it or even to have it put to sleep.

For scratching some furniture and getting under the owners feet? I don’t think many people would be saying that...maybe some really shitty owners I suppose! Some people really shouldn’t have animals. Like a pp said, have realistic expectations of your pets....they’re animals.

ginghamstarfish · 29/03/2021 10:54

Please do rehome the cat (via Cats Protection or suchlike) OP, sounds like he's not happy given the changed circumstances. He's not deliberately trying to annoy you, but his behaviour shows he would probably be happier in a single person household or perhaps a no-kid household. Hope it all works out.

Furries · 29/03/2021 10:57

OP - I hope that the first thing you do is to reinstate the cat flap, this really should make a big difference.

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