Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

I honestly could re home him tomorrow! I hate him!

154 replies

Windchangeface · 28/03/2021 12:22

I’m at breaking point with our cat.
Had him since 8 weeks old and he’s now been with us 4 years. We have done everything for him and totally adored him but he’s suddenly turned into a giant GIANT asshole!
He’s always been a bit unfriendly and only wanted us when he wanted us, fine but now he’s wrecking my house, refuses to have a single door closed on him (dining room we never use, downstairs loo, utility room) rooms he has no interest or business in he’ll scratch all the paintwork off the door if it’s not left open. Moment he gets in he isn’t interested and leaves but not before ripping up ALL the furniture. Just bought a new dresser yesterday and he’s already taken chunks out I’m devastated! (He has all sort of scratching posts/boards he never uses) The cost of all the damage he’s causing is hundreds now! He’s completely ruined our wrap around bannister.

We can’t close our bedroom door else he kicks up SUCH a fuss it wakes everyone up. We are about to have our second baby and don’t trust him at all in a room with a newborn whilst we sleep so no idea what to do.

He runs in and out of my legs on the stairs and has very nearly tripped me on several occasions to the point I’ve physically had to kick him out of the way (12 month old DS in my arms, heavily pregnant) he ignores me 70% of the day then choses the most inconvenient or dangerous 30% to be my shadow. Wakes me up in the night, despite always having plenty of food and water. Refuses to go outside but kicks off to be let out the kitchen door constantly. Never actually leaves though. We had to take away his cat door a year ago as he started dragging in baby mice and torturing them (not killing them just hurting/playing with them).

Try and give him affection or play with him whilst DS naps...not interested. He only wants it when he wants it and that only ever at 3am or when I’m on the stairs/loo.

We’ve tried everything, sprays, toys, diffuser, vet is at a loss too. I never thought I’d say it but at this point I could happily re home him tomorrow as he’s driving me insane!

OP posts:
ichundich · 29/03/2021 18:44

I do hope for the sake of this cat that OP rehomes him because he deserves to be loved just like any pet that people adopt. How dare he behave according to his nature?!

JoyOrbison · 29/03/2021 18:46

Just rehome, OP. The rescue workers will inwardly roll their eyes at another cat being handed over because of a new baby, but they will ensure it goes to a home where it is loved and appreciated

Well it would be a stupid inward eyeroll as op had cat with one baby and didn't look to rehomr the cat when the dc1 arrivrd so isn't your stereotypical "Baby arrives, pet departs" owner.

Op, rehoni g may be the best answer, if the vat will thrive in a different home then its fair to do that.

LST · 29/03/2021 18:46

@mrsohmaybeno

I hate cats... horrible creatures. Don't have any attachment to their owners.
You're wrong. I've had 5 cats in total. All completely different and my 2 gingers are extremely affectionate
LST · 29/03/2021 18:46

Does he go out op? He sounds bored

ismiseeire · 29/03/2021 18:47

As others have said, start with reinstating the cat flap. You should also invest in some humane mouse traps, for when he brings his prey in, which he will - but it's a natural part of cat behaviour I'm afraid.

Or she could rehome him.

LST · 29/03/2021 18:53

Sorry just seen how he doesnt. I leave the window open for mine to come and go as one of mine likes the option of coming and going when he pleases and not be either locked in or out.

Tbh, if he is making you miserable then I would rehome. They are meant to bring you happiness not misery and it doesn't sound like he is happy either

LoveDrunk · 29/03/2021 19:04

Well it would be a stupid inward eyeroll as op had cat with one baby and didn't look to rehomr the cat when the dc1 arrivrd so isn't your stereotypical "Baby arrives, pet departs" owner.

Not stupid at all. My friend runs a rescue and would definitely be judging and eye rolling. The other child is only 12 months old and it sounds like OP has been pissed off with the cat for a while. Definitely stereotypical shit owner.

ismiseeire · 29/03/2021 19:13

Some people value humans over cats.

LoveDrunk · 29/03/2021 19:15

Some people value humans over cats.

I value both. 😛

ichundich · 29/03/2021 19:28

@ismiseeire

Some people value humans over cats.
Fair enough. But those people shouldn't get a cat as a pet.
LST · 29/03/2021 19:32

I disagree. You can own pets but still value their actual human family over them.

LoveDrunk · 29/03/2021 19:56

I disagree. You can own pets but still value their actual human family over them.

It’s not a competition where living things need to be ranked in order. Pets are part of the family and don’t need to be kicked. 🤷🏻‍♀️

ThatsShitTryHarder · 29/03/2021 20:06

Well it would be a stupid inward eyeroll as op had cat with one baby and didn't look to rehomr the cat when the dc1 arrivrd so isn't your stereotypical "Baby arrives, pet departs" owner.

We don’t know that do we? The OP didn’t say anything about exactly when she started hating her cat. It could easily have been a year ago or when she first decided on her genius idea of removing the cat flap.

LST · 29/03/2021 20:09

@LoveDrunk

I disagree. You can own pets but still value their actual human family over them.

It’s not a competition where living things need to be ranked in order. Pets are part of the family and don’t need to be kicked. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Oh no I 100% agree with that. It was in regards to the comment saying if you regarded humans above pets you shouldn't have them
birdglasspen · 29/03/2021 20:14

How long does he spend outside? My cat comes in about 7-8am when I let him in and spends the day sleeping, I have to "kick" (gently persuade!) him back out at 8pm sometimes later as he's so lazy! He then spends the night outside but with access to a dry warm bed in shed. If it's been a wet and miserable night he can be quite playful in the mornings but otherwise he's knackered! Does your cat need more outdoor time to chase small animals and birds! It does sound hard and unfortunately our pets don't always fit well into family life, please don't feel bad if this is the case. It's easy for people to judge if they either have no pets, have perfectly behaved pets or put their pet above their own child/children! I really hope you can work something out! I certainly hope you don't fall down the stairs with child and while pregnant, if the cat needs a kick/nudge out the way then go ahead!

LoveDrunk · 29/03/2021 20:15

Oh no I 100% agree with that. It was in regards to the comment saying if you regarded humans above pets you shouldn't have them

I just don’t see the need for a hierarchy of living things. The cat has behaved like a cat... not sure what OP expected. She clearly want rid and I zero respect for that. She needs to take responsibility.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 29/03/2021 20:16

HI @Windchangeface - you've had a bit of a kicking here so I'm not sure if you're still reading, but I'll answer anyway - I hope you do read it :)

Your cat has had a lot of change in a short period of time - a pregnancy and a new baby, losing his cat-flap (and his freedom) and then you getting pregnant again. That's going to be very stressful for him and I'm not surprised that his behaviour is reflecting that. I would do the following:

  • vet check to make sure his behaviour is only caused by stress. I'm sure it is, but it's worth making sure that there's no underlying reasons such as pain or anything similar.
  • re-instate the cat flap. I know it's grim to deal with dead animals etc. but it's part of owning an outdoor cat and I think it's a big reason for the change in behaviour. He needs his freedom back.
  • try and put things back to how they were before children came along. So if his feeding routines etc. have changed, put them back to how they were. Same with his access to various rooms, the locations of his litter trays etc.

If all else fails then I would consider re-homing. Not all cats are suited to live in busy family homes, and he may be one of them.

Foolingaround · 29/03/2021 20:29

Come at me! I agree with @LoveDrunk too.

Authenticchicken · 29/03/2021 20:33

Put him outside at night (my cats don't get a choice) and see if the scratching etc improves. You could get a cat flap but equally, if there is a bed in a utility room or garage he can access that would be fine overnight.

Or, rehome him to someone without kids.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 29/03/2021 20:40

Not a good idea to lock your cats out overnight - it's not safe.

Authenticchicken · 29/03/2021 20:44

OK, all day then. My point is, he might be better if he is out more. He sounds bored to me.

Or, rehome.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 29/03/2021 20:47

@Authenticchicken

OK, all day then. My point is, he might be better if he is out more. He sounds bored to me.

Or, rehome.

He doesn't need locking out - OP needs to give him back his cat-flap!

She got rid of it last year and that's when the destruction started.

LST · 29/03/2021 20:57

@Authenticchicken

Put him outside at night (my cats don't get a choice) and see if the scratching etc improves. You could get a cat flap but equally, if there is a bed in a utility room or garage he can access that would be fine overnight.

Or, rehome him to someone without kids.

All weathers? No choice at all?
Authenticchicken · 29/03/2021 21:00

OK, with a cat flap then. He just needs to be out more!

Also, my cats do get locked out but with access to a utility area with a bed, which is what I suggested (this could be a garage or shed). One is a true outdoor cat, and never comes in, and the other likes joining him at night in warm weather. So, in my experience cats are fine left out at night, if they have access to some indoor space, but that is not the advice of Cats Protection so I have retracted it Smile

Swipe left for the next trending thread