Is this the end ?

[stophuggingme]

I’m so sad and worried
One of my three beautiful cats has overnight lost the use of her back legs and is dragging them
We are seeing the vet this afternoon
She is almost thirteen
Three months ago her right hind leg was stiff and she was a bit wobbly on it. Bloods were run and didn’t reveal and raised markers she was predicted pain relief and within days was back to her normal self.
The last few days she has been a bit stiff again but was still getting up into the cat tree, using her litter tray and eating and walking fine
Yesterday she just went downhill late at night.

My heart is in my mouth and I’m so sad. She is eating today but I’ve had to help her back into her favourite hiding hole . She’s had water and used the litter tray. She’s let me brush her and cuddle her.
When I call her she responded and is purring occasionally plus her eyes are bright. I’m hoping against hope aren’t I?

I’m terrified this is a saddle thrombus / thrombosis

I’m so worried she will need to be PTS today when I take her.

Does anyone have any happy outcomes for this sort of thing. I’ve had her and her sister since they were 12 weeks old they have been my family before I had one of my own 😢

Stophuggingme, I had tears in my eyes reading that post and I've only 'known' Dolly since reading this thread. No wonder you feel so bereft, although you know you made the right decision.

So sorry it ended like this. Be kind to yourself tonight 🌈🌉😿

There’s no good way of losing them but it’s marginally better to get to say goodbye than not.

It’s also normal to be completely floored by it.

@stophuggingme

You have many lovely memories. Once the pain wears off a bit, you will be able to think back on all the good times and laugh again.

Just try and get through each day as it comes. Cry your eyes out and mourn her.
You gave her a wonderful life which is what every cat would wish for.

Hang on to all your good memories - I wrote down everything I could think of about my cat's life, the day after she died and I found that really helped.

She is irreplaceable and was a cat in a million. She lives on as long as you remember her.

As Wolff says; it's awful at first. But there will be a time when you remember her with a smile and you'll laugh at something she once did.

The house seems so quiet without her
She was a noisy little thing: snoring like an old drunk and she made these little squishy noises when she ate. Her face was teeny weeny and she had a slightly longer soft palate.
I don’t know what to do with myself. For once the children all fell asleep early and I poured a big glass of wine and sat holding her collar and favourite cushion and just cried for about an hour
I brought her and her sister home when they were twelve weeks old. The only two of the litter. Tonight she is roaming the house making mournful little sounds. It’s heartbreaking. She was looking for her when I came back from the vets. I could see that at some point she knew Dolly was gone.

Tomorrow we are going to paint some rocks and bury her in the garden. Dolly rose is now its way and I have bought a bottle of pink champagne to raise a glass to her once it’s done. She cost me a fortune for years so I’ve carried on that tradition! And pink lemonade for the children. My mum has said I can bury her in her garden instead it’s got a beautiful spot some other roses and no tree roots. She lives five minutes away in foot so I can go as often as I want to see her.
I have found a photograph of both of them as ktttens with their cat mummy. Tomorrow I am going to show my children and I have found a lovely child’s story about rainbow bridge and when a pet you love dies.

I’m so tired but I can’t sleep. Just sat thinking of her and all the memories I have. Feels like I let a bit of me go with her.
Have lit a candle for her tonight too and we will get my favourite ever picture of her and a new frame for on my mantlepiece.

I will post a picture once her little memorial garden is all done.

Thank you all so much for taking time to write to me tonight and help me through this time. It means a great deal.

@stophuggingme - am so so sorry that she’s gone. Have read the thread with tears in my eyes, you did everything you could and then the kindest, but hardest thing today.

The fact that you were able to be with her at the end is a blessing - as I’ve seen online that some vets can’t allow this.

Your posts clearly show the love you had for her and the bond you had. When you’re ready, it would be lovely to see a photo of the rose.

I know what you mean about the remaining sibling, so wish we could talk to them so that they understand.

Sending you gentle hugs - I don’t have children, so can’t imagine how you handle both yours and their feelings, but there are so many lovely people on here, so just post whenever you need to.

RIP over the rainbow bridge Dolly - you are now with all of our much loved companions 💕🐾💕

I am really struggling today.
Just miss her so much. It hasn’t sunk in that she’s gone, then sometimes it hits me.

😢 That is exactly what happens with bereavement stophuggingme. That's what makes it so hard. It must be harder with your children as you have to be the strong one. I can't really suggest anything other than sitting quietly with a tea or coffee for a few minutes and being kind to yourself.

I’ve been cuddling her Cat sister a lot which has helped. There were only two of them in the litter.
The nights are especially sad as it was when I would sit quietly with Her, set my alarm in the middle of the night come and cuddle her and give her meds and settle her.

The last three nights I have dreamt of her.

The children understand she’s gone and they have been remarkably mature and calm about it. Much better than me in fact.

Just taking each day as it comes that’s all I can do

@stophuggingme

Having been there recently, I completely emphasise. It does get better. I was crying and crying in the first few days and couldn’t even talk about it to family/colleagues etc without tears starting.

I found it helpful to write down everything about her life, talk about her with family and look through photos and plan her memorial. I also talked to her for a few days and still do occasionally. I asked if she minded us getting another cat, and letting him use her stuff and telling her she was irreplaceable.

At first I felt I could just go back to the vet and get her. Since collecting her ashes, I felt I have accepted it more.

Ordering her urn and the memorial jewellery made me accept that she is gone. I also bought a picture of an angel holding a black cat to make me feel that she is being looked after wherever she is now.

It does get better, I promise. I still feel sad, but it is not as acutely painful.

Take care of yourself @stophuggingme - it is so hard. Today we had to follow in your footsteps. Despite meds etc it was clear that our cat wasn't going to get better and was really struggling. It was heartbreaking to see her like that. Unfortunately due to covid our vets were not allowing anyone to be present which I feel awful about but I can't change it and I know the vets will have been kind and loving.

The other two cats don't seem to be acting differently but I don't know what I expected them to do to be honest...

I’m so sorry @myrtlewilson, you did the best for her and that’s what counts.

It must be awful to be a vet putting animals to sleep.

@myrtlewilson

I’m so sorry that you have had to go through this and also 💐 that you could not be there.

@Wolfff
@Furries
@nettie434

Thank you all so much too for your lovely kind words
@Wolff the memorial jewellery sounds wonderful. A very special way of keeping your cat close to you.

I went to see Dolly’s grave today briefly. My mum was with me. It was raining. I just stood and sobbed by it. I am really struggling. But tomorrow is another day and I have to hope that I will gain some perspective and ability to remember that she was unwell and I did the right thing.

@stophuggingme - just wanted to check in and see how you are? I hope you’re being kind to yourself and allowing yourself to grieve.

How’s her sister doing? My boy’s brother definitely wasn’t his usual self for a little while.

@Furries
Thanks so much for thinking of me
It’s a week tomorrow that we said goodbye to Dolly. I’m still incredibly sad and emotional. Spending a lot of the day crying at little things, but I am ok.
Bella is doing well. She’s spending more time with my other cat now and eating well. I bought her a new collar and basket which she loves and she has stopped cryingfor her sister. The other night though she went and sat next to the kickboard in the Utility again where Dolly had hid and did a little sad noise. In taking extras special care of her

Hope you’re ok x

That’s heartbreaking. Poor cat.

@stophuggingme - I’m glad that Bella is doing as ok as possible, it’s so hard to see them looking a little lost.

It’s easier said than done, but please don’t beat yourself up over amount of time passed vs how sad you feel. I’ll be honest, and I’m not saying this to make you feel worse etc, but this coming Wednesday will be 12 weeks for me. I’m having some days here and there where I’m ok’ish - but I’m still having lots of days of full on sobbing and feeling completely heartbroken. I still have his younger brother and also a giant fluffy dog, but that doesn’t take away the pain. I love them both dearly, but Simba truly was my soul cat and has left a flipping huge while in my heart and my life, I feel completely lost without him. I’ve been beating myself up thinking “why aren’t you starting to feel better about this by now”, but have come to the realisation that I’ve just got to keep working through it. I’m not going to berate myself for it and just try to trust in the fact that one day things will be a little better.

Sorry, bit of a waffle, but main point is that you know there’s always people here to listen and please don’t try to set time limits on yourself. Everyone gets through this at a different pace and there is no right or wrong way or time cut off.

Please give Bella a little head bop from me 💕🐾💕

@Fluffycloudland77 - and just need to say thank you. You were so thoughtful when it first happened to me, so wanted to take a leaf from your book and try to pay it forward.

@furries thank you for making me feel less alone. I have two,other cats and a beautiful,dog but losing Dolly has left me feeling the same way as you so perfectly captured. She was incredibly special and sweet, not really like another cat more an old wise woman and some sort of magic little creature. I have many many moments where I am just overcome with grief. The other day standing in a queue in the coop I saw her favourite webbox and I had to put my basket down and leave the shop.

Bella says thank you for the head bop though. Whenever I cuddle her it’s like Dolly is still here too. She is getting a lot of love and care. And chicken!

It’s ok, I’ve been there & I know how shit it is. I also know some other posters won’t be able to comment because it stirs up too many fears/memories. I could never click on threads like this before it happened to me.

@Furries 29 weeks tomorrow for us. Spent yesterday in the lounge crying.

@Fluffy I’m so sorry.💐

@stophuggingme - yes, it’s the smallest things that set you off and it’s horrible when it happens out in public. It’s weird, there have been some occasions where I’ve been able to speak about him without crying and then the daftest thing will set me off. Yesterday was refreshing the water bowl - daft, I know, but we had a bit of a ritual and it just set me off.

That’s such a lovely description of Dolky and pretty much mirrors me - I always described Simba as a wise old soul and I too felt that he was far more than just a cat, more from another realm. She was A beautiful girl and absolutely stunning eyes 💕

@Fluffycloudland77 - my heart goes out to you, am sending you a head bop too. I honestly don’t think I registered when I posted at the time how soon it had been for you, so even bigger thanks for your posts at the time.

@furries
What a stunning cat
💐

When I look at the photo of Bella I just posted I can see so much of Dolly in her. They were one in the same apart from their size. Bella is a fair bit bigger and lighter but they were so similar in other ways