One toy mouse found for PB........

[cozietoesie]

.....so temper tantrum forestalled for 10 minutes. Edited by MNHQ at OP's request

Another night of heavy biffing. (That's his preferred time.)

Oh God

It's OK. I sleep soundly once I actually fall off.

He might be staying awake to protect you & the house, you know. Mr C does that sometimes, either that or pointedly staying awake 'because someone has to'. I wake to bored scrutiny, then he goes to sleep.

O is asleep on the chair that used to have his igloo on. He won't sleep in the igloo still 🙄🙄 in case that means cat carrier

Is O ok to come in bed?

Yep. He doesn't usually, as the human moves too much apparently and disturbs his beauty sleep

I'm nursing some wounds after a silent tussle with DD's feisty black cat.

Picture the scene: 11pm in a quiet suburban bedroom. Child's cabin bed with sleeping child, cat lying like a cat-shaped draught excluder beside child. Of course the cat is sleeping on the far side of the child. A pair of baleful wee-coloured eyes flicker into life. She knows what's coming...

The mother suddenly realises that she has come without appeasing cat treats and will have to do this the hard way. The cat silently stretches and appraises the situation, also realising that the human is unarmed. The mother reaches an outstretched hand across her child's sleeping body and makes a grasp for the cat's neck. She misses!

The cat backs further away. The bed creaks as the woman reaches again, this time the cat silently strikes rapidly, claws digging into the woman's fleece. A smothered curse comes from the mother's mouth. The cat, triumphant, retreats to the furthest corner of the bed.

Her anger roused, the woman determines not to be bested by the feline. Climbing the steps of the bed and quickly diving for the cat, she clasps the beast in a firm grip. The cat twists, the bed creaks and the child's eyes open wide but unseeing.

Frozen in the moment, the mother mutters, "Back to sleep!" Reassured, the child rolls over. Still firmly grasping the protesting cat, the woman drags the cat across the child's body and stomps downstairs with the unimpressed cat under her arm.

Woman 1 - cat 0 but there will be a rematch...

Why did you try to remove the cat?

Because the cat will kick the door of my bedroom open at ungodly o'clock and demand to be fed, played with and generally pandered to.

I'm too firm and too old to be dealing with that shit! There are RULES.

There certainly are. It's just that removing any of my cats from bed with their person would not have been understood or viewed as a punishment.

Well mine are mogs not meezers!

I agree, Andrew the unspoken arrangement is that if the cat stays put, then she gets to stay the night. Usually she comes downstairs on her own initiative.

Some nights you just don't want to be woken up by a cat staring you down like a succubus!

Rider The Literary Tray Booker Prize nomination, 2018

Get some fucidin cream from the doc. Well done you for removing a slumbering cat - it was the only thing I ever dared defy DM about.

I got woken up by Mr C staring me down like a succubus

Sometimes we all need an unbroken night's kip. They get the picture in the end, Mr C never has tho'.

Thanks Lana.

Firstly I'm in Ireland so I'd being looking at a doctor's fee of €55 then a dispensing fee from the pharmacist. The scratches are minor and treatable with Sudocrem.

Secondly, Mr. C is an incubus, the male version of the female succubus! Def. "An imaginary demon or evil spirit supposed to descend upon sleeping persons, especially one fabled to have sexual intercourse with women during their sleep."

That's Mr. C to a tee!

I'm loving that. Do you know, I never knew that was the difference between inc-/suc-, and I have always wanted to find out! Mr C, bless his furry heart, suffers fevers of lust, but only for edibles.

55 euros plus scrip fee? It's about 10p a tube in UK. I'll ask the doc if they will give me a scrip for two next time I go in, I don't think that's illegal or anything. Dr P is very sympathetic about pet injuries :) If you get a lot of scratches or an annoying one, it does the trick in 2 days rather than 2 weeks. I'll PM you when I have achieved this.

O woke me up at 3am screeching, sat on my bed for 5 mins then disappeared back to sleep while I lay there slightly startled

Anything prescription is illegal. You should see the amount of drugs the nursing homes I visit have to throw away. Even moisturisers. It's all been handled only by nurses and its in tamper evident packaging but in the bin it goes. It's such a shame we haven't found a way of re-using it somehow.

Tea tree oil works well on cat scratches here. It takes the pain away too.

Asbo sleeps down in the utility because he gets up at 4am & it's one up all up here.

He only sleeps with me if he's ill. The nights we've tried him upstairs when he's healthy he's miaowed to go down.

They really are minor scratches. I won't be troubling my GP with them. I have been properly bitten by a cat, deep puncture wounds with cellulitis. That was a long time ago and I did get antibiotics then.

Well a plethora of biffers have now arrived. One was put in the 'mouse place' for consideration but the others were put on a table in the bedroom for reserve purposes. One has already been thieved and nearly destroyed. Sorry, Lana - it seems there's a rule which I didn't know. 'Red feathers - it belongs to me!'

He was carrying it around and has now brought it onto the bed to pounce upon.

He's now taken it downstairs to The Place. (After giving it laldy - and then some!)

Sounds as though he is very pleased with them

The one he thieved certainly seems to be the bees knees. (He's just gone downstairs in search of it.)

Yayayayyay!!!!! Darling PB, he has completely made my day. On the bed! I am nearly swooning from the honour.

Do you think I have made one small step toward the peak of human achievement - impressing a Siamese?

Cozie, they are stuffed with strips of cotton so if he does rip them to bits in 5 min he won't choke on the wreckage. Also cotton easier to clean up than feathers and nylon, I thought.