The adventures of Newerboy

[Lanaorana2]

I've got a Siamese cat. He was abandoned by his owner and is living in state - three nests made by neighbours - in our garden. He is absolutely beautiful, aged 11, and a white/cream colour, brown eyes I think. So far we have blinked at each other, me flat on face behind bush in garden.

The lady who feeds him is going away for 6 weeks. She is in a royal state of anxiety so I stepped in. Have been trained to do the feeding, leg massage, etc.

His history is shameful. He has been coming to us for food for ages, finally taken to Battersea, where his so-called owner collected him in 90 minutes. Then left him to starve. So you see I can't not.

Any words of wisdom? I need them.

No idea what that means, Mr C was sharing his thoughts.

They look to be .....quite dark ones.

O has eaten two pouches of country hunter and two tins of wellness core today. Now asleep on sheepskin in food coma gently snoring

Has the cold weather gone down there yet?.

50's better than the alternative . Dh had a wobble at 50. He says in retrospect it was my fault.

As is traditional in this house.

New Santa suit a success.

F, I hear you. Don't know why I,m so sad.

Such contempt in those eyes

I can understand the sadness. It passes. Then life takes over again & it gets back to normal

Next year you won't remember how old you are, Dh checks with me sometimes & is astonished to find he is 52.

I quite like getting older. No more having to pretend you like clubbing or getting wedding invites

I'm not quite sure that face says success. More lingering resentment?

Yes that is an unbeatable plus. Dear me, weddings are dull. You have cheered me up no end. Incidentally, DH will always be a cool Kings' Road boy to me, it's in the blood innit.

HD telly has a lot to answer for re my gloom - it's all closeups of pores and flawless, or more to the point, not flawless skin. Bugger the plot, you can't take your eyes off the subject's delicately quivering jowls.

I watched that Joan Didion netflix doc. She is one of the premier journalists alive. I nearly threw up. Wrinkly neck.

I've just ordered a neck exerciser off Amazon as a pre-emptive strike.

Phenol peels. That's what they need for turkey neck. I saw a program about it once, truly astonishing results but your face falls off in strips like wallpaper.

Hardcore stuff. Don't google if squeamish.

I do those disapproving -wince clenches. Sometimes.

Bernard Matthews RIP would have held a special day for Norfolk VIPs to hunt DM and DGM.

I am now trapped for the night

The very picture of domestic harmony.

Does Mr C realise he has a potential rival yet?

I am a rubbish adulterer. I sneak out at unusual hours, not letting him see what is in my bag....phone clamped to my side.,,,,

He saw me slip an AGAIL pouch into my coat pocket and gave me The Black Look.

Then rolled over and went back to sleep.

From the storage room, our caretaker has produced... a gong. It was banged this am at 6:15 for NB's breakfast.

I suffered a minor cardiac event, I believe. However, I didn't have to get up wh was bliss. Except I did because Mr C kicked off for an AGAIL.

I woke up to a plumbing noise from O. Wasn't quick enough to spot where it was so the joyful hunt began. Turned out to be on the toy he hates is scared of and it's ruined. Not entirely sure that wasn't well aimed

What on earth do they put in agail?

You need a burner phone L.

I have no idea. But I receive joyful approbation for DD.

Mr C won't eat DD today; he is licking clotted cream off my fingers instead.

I've been put in my place. No sign NB when I sidle out, cooing alluringly, hanging about batting my eyelids, bearing 4 diff types food, etc., tentatively proffering various luxe snacks to tempt his sensitive nature.

But for our caretaker Les, who bangs the gong, screams in Manc and chucks a handful of Tesco Basic Dry in his general direction....NB runs, nay sprints, towards him.

As a finale, the cat house is being delivered by Yodel ie never. :)

Well I'm off the hook with the Guinea fowl.

What can I say, Lana?

Once Siamese decide on their 'person'................

The caretaker told me not to bother feeding him tonight. What am I going to do with all this catfood?

NB's LTB.

Give it to the Caretaker or pretend to Mr C that you bought it for him.

Your call.

No matter how crushed I feel, it's nothing to the caretaker. He's LIVID. He's not an animal-lover.

I'm not giving up. I might keep some of the food in the caretaker's office, however, which will delicately assist the issue of financing NB as natch my neighbour forgot.

He SAYS he's not an animal lover. I've heard that said before - funnily enough, in a Siamese context.