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Original poster

Cat likes to sleep in my bed, dp doesn't want him there

155 replies

Userwithoutaname · 24/07/2017 03:23

Just wanted some opinions really ... my Siamese likes to sleep in my bed. He hates being shut downstairs but scratches the carpet if I shut the bedroom door. My bf stays over most nights (nearly always) and doesn't want the cat in bed with us.

It seems out of proportion to put the cat before my bf, I'm sure he thinks so anyway. But I feel sorry for my cat. He likes to always be with me. I have two other cats and he will curl up with them but they like to be out at night and tbh he'd prefer to be with me.

Wwyd?

OP posts:
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user1487671808 · 25/07/2017 09:11

My Siamese was an awesome judge of character and a fantastic companion through some truly dark moments for me. If DH hadn't understood that from the start we would never have lasted. As it is we've been together 25 years.

That said current DCat doesn't sleep with us because he's an annoying very loud Bengal but it's been like that from the start. Siamese form special bonds with their people and you can't just change the rules after 8 yrs.

QuimReaper · 25/07/2017 11:01

Oh Snickers that's the most nonsense comparison I've ever heard.

Presumably he is able to show full respect to waiting staff without inviting them back for a cuppa once the meal's over, let alone inviting them to share his bed Hmm

SnickersWasAHorse · 25/07/2017 17:57

What I mean is it can be a useful way to see how he treats people by seeing how he treats waiters and to see how he respects you and your pets by how he treats animals.
I'm not comparing how he might treat waiters to how he treats animals.

Is he lovely to you but a dick to waiters? Leave him, he's really an arse.
Is he lovely to you but a dick to animals? Leave him he's really an arse.

Original poster
Userwithoutaname · 25/07/2017 19:36

No, he's just lovely. He's not a dick to anyone!

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Botanicbaby · 25/07/2017 23:19

WWYD?

If it was me now, the cat would come first as I put animals before people. I couldn't be attracted to someone who didn't place importance towards animals/pets. How thoughtful, kind & gentle they are towards animals is a huge deal to me. Especially if they're staying in the pets home and affecting it's routine/life in any way. I think ideally you need to be on same page where pets are concerned.

That said, I can understand if he's not a 'cat person' and not used to them let alone having one in the bedroom. I never used to understand cats being on the bed either (have never had one IN the bed) but I'm well trained now.

However, if he gave an ultimatum, I don't think I'd be choosing him over the cat Wink

SnickersWasAHorse · 25/07/2017 23:23

If he wasn't a cat person then he wouldn't be in my house, let alone bed.

Fiona1984 · 26/07/2017 21:14

Our cat likes to sleep on the bed. In the mornings, he likes to lay on my neck. He has a habit of using DP as a springboard to jump off the bed, or running across him. DP doesn't complain much though lol.
We got the cat together, and he is very loving with us both, but he's like my little shadow.

Olliver27 · 27/07/2017 00:17

Cats and dogs in the beds in our house. Get bf a kennel out the back.

IrritatedUser1960 · 27/07/2017 06:43

Definitely get rid. Boyfriends need to know their place Smile

Original poster
Userwithoutaname · 05/08/2017 05:12

So .. I know most of this thread was light hearted but tonight things came to a head. Siamese has been a bit off colour for the last few days and as he hasn't been sleeping in my bed for the past few weeks I wondered if this was affecting him and decided to let him back in to see if it made a difference. Bf is now very unhappy and can't sleep at mine.

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LondonSouth28 · 05/08/2017 06:07

The cat isn't well and the boyfriend doesn't want to make a poorly cat feel better? Harsh. As an animal lover I wouldn't be compatible with a person who didn't feel compassion for an animal, especially my beloved pets (dogs, cat and fish!) x

Original poster
Userwithoutaname · 05/08/2017 06:16

He doesn't believe the cat sleeping on the bed will make it better.

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YetAnotherSpartacus · 05/08/2017 09:39

Poor puss! Have you been to the vet?

DumbledoresApprentice · 05/08/2017 10:23

I know a lot of people will say humans over animals, just shut the cat out. I often shut my own cat out of my bedroom so that I get a good night's sleep, so I don't think your BF is necessarily wrong to not want to sleep with a cat. However, I think it sounds like you have fundamentally different attitudes towards pets and I can imagine this might become a problem over time. If my cat was poorly and unhappy being locked out then she'd be sleeping in bed with me and DP wouldn't want to lock her out either under those circumstances. We both see the cat as a commitment and accept all the things that come with that, like one of us having to come home to feed her in the evening, not being able to decide to go on holiday at the last minute etc. I'd find it really wearing to feel like I had to justify my commitment to my cat all the time. She's a living thing and, within reason, I'll do what I can to make her life happier and more comfortable.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 05/08/2017 10:28

He's not wrong to not want to sleep in the same bed as an animal.

Equally, you are not wrong to want said animal in your bed (though personally, I think it's horrible).

Since you're so incompatible on this, there's only one solution: you split up.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 05/08/2017 10:33

I'll fess up and say that I really would not want to share my bed with a dog. I don't like dog breath and dog smells (cats smell divine), but then I also don't much like sharing with humans either. But there are other alternatives. Personally, I'd just sleep elsewhere ... If I was dating a man with a gorgeous kitty I'd elect to sleep elsewhere anyway and then hide Dreamies in my bed so that I got the cat.

stumblymonkeyagain · 05/08/2017 10:39

I'm a crazy cat lady....when DP (soon to be DH) moved in he put up with the cat in the bedroom for some time but eventually we changed things.

Mainly because said cat loves to groom a lot, especially as she's settling in for the evening and DP is a very light sleeper. He said that the grooming noises kept him awake like a tap dripping. I felt sorry for him being kept awake.

I probably wouldn't have caved just because he didn't like it though. He now loves cats too and we have four...they're allowed in the bedroom in the day but not at night (we keep them downstairs).

Original poster
Userwithoutaname · 05/08/2017 15:42

I haven't been to the vets yet .. he gets a upset tum sometimes, the vets always prescribe expensive rubbish food and probiotic, it clears up on its own anyway ... if he's no better Monday I'll go though.

It's difficult ... of course I want to put a person before a cat... But it's a Siamese, he's sensitive and very attached to me. I think they're different to other cats. Having said that, I have been putting my bf first for the past few weeks, i just wanted to see if letting the cat sleep in the bed with me would solve his problems to find out if they're caused by unhappiness. If that makes sense ...

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Original poster
Userwithoutaname · 05/08/2017 15:43

Re. a vet visit ... it's weighing up the stress of taking him to the vets versus a dicky tummy that may settle down of its own accord.

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kali110 · 05/08/2017 22:57

I'd get rid of the bf Grin
I would not move the cat.
Me and dh share the bed with cats.
We'd be lost without them!

winkywinkybumbum · 06/08/2017 09:01

This is how I woke up this morning. Bloomin cat.

Cat likes to sleep in my bed, dp doesn't want him there
YetAnotherSpartacus · 06/08/2017 09:11

^Yes, and it looks like you had the audacity to move and wake him/her up too! Poor puss.

winkywinkybumbum · 06/08/2017 09:16

He's a he Grin Ruler of the house.

winkywinkybumbum · 06/08/2017 09:19

Between him and my daughter, I don't get a lot of space in the bed.

Cat likes to sleep in my bed, dp doesn't want him there
moomin4071 · 06/08/2017 09:28

Animals do not belong in the bedroom, let alone IN bed!

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