Cat likes to sleep in my bed, dp doesn't want him there

[Userwithoutaname]

Just wanted some opinions really ... my Siamese likes to sleep in my bed. He hates being shut downstairs but scratches the carpet if I shut the bedroom door. My bf stays over most nights (nearly always) and doesn't want the cat in bed with us.

It seems out of proportion to put the cat before my bf, I'm sure he thinks so anyway. But I feel sorry for my cat. He likes to always be with me. I have two other cats and he will curl up with them but they like to be out at night and tbh he'd prefer to be with me.

Wwyd?

Meant pretty it'd! Sorry

Aaargh autocorrect Prettybird!

This is why I warned DH very early on that it was me or a cat! To be fair, the issue is that I'm allergic to them, on occasion A&E visit levels of allergic, so I really can't live with cats. Otherwise we'd have several...

Your BF is not a keeper.

When my DH arrived he was scared of cats and practically recoiled when mine touched him - being cats they were of course magnetically attracted to him because he didn't like them. I'd accidentally on purpose not mentioned I had cats until he was on my doorstep for fear on looking like a mad cat lady

However he wisely worked out that they and I came as a package and as he wanted me, he would have to put up and shut up.

7 years later he cried when one of the original cats died and has just spent the day wiring up a kittencam so we can watch it's replacements.

Your BF either gets with the program or ships out. Cats come first.

There is no compromise - if you want to sleep with your cat then do it, personally I wouldn't commit to a relationship with someone who shared their bed with a cat - but that is my choice - I know I wouldn't really get on that well with someone who is a 'cat person' - actually I wouldn't even have got past the first date so it is surprising that your boyfriend has been with you for two years before this became an issue.

no way should any animal ever be prioritised over a human

This isn't a life and death situation, it's sleeping arrangements. It's not like the cat is bothering him, its sleeping by her feet. Siamese cats are very vocal. She can try and put it outside the door, but they'll both probably be listening to off-key opera wailing for the rest of the night!

Hmmm. I have cats and dogs. None of them are allowed in our bedroom (although cats sneak in if we have breakfast in bed & leave the door open). I couldn't sleep with a cat or a dog. I love my pets but they are pets.

But it sounds very important to you so maybe it's a deal breaker. Only you know!

Dnamummy - are yours lilacs or blues?

This is the first time I've had a matching pair ( had been owned by Siamese for over 50 years - first at my parental home and now with dh) so we're still getting used to telling them apart (one is bigger and his points are slightly more pinky brown whereas the smaller one has a "sweeter", smaller face. They suit the names Frasier and Niles

Prettybird Sold as seal point! They are brothers and I can tell them apart, just! Everyone else struggles so Gadget always wears blue collars and Gizmo wears green. Also different texture collars so I can tell in the dark which one has decided to push their luck and sleep on my pillow! I dread something happening to one of them as they are sooo attached to each other. Glad you managed to console your elder one with adoptees!

Pretty and DNA your cats are beautiful!

OP I think there's a difference between locking most cats out and a Siamese. Meezers are so bonded to their people and need contact for their well-being.

I have a similar breed to a Siamese. She sleeps on my head and simply pulls the carpets up if she's locked out.

dna and pretty, your cats are beautiful! dna I think yours look a little like mine?

And Yes, when shut out he'll sing, wail and scratch up the carpet until it's shredded. The only way I can get away with it is if his pal, the older of the other two black moggies, is in the house and I distract him with food just before going upstairs.

I'm afraid I decreed when I started seeing DH that the bed wasn't big enough for two people and two cats. I always seemed to end up sleeping in a tiny measly strip of bed clinging on for dear life because the cat was "so comfortable" taking up a chunk of his side

I think he agreed with me much sooner than he was willing to admit. You can work around cats when it's just you in the bed but he really is an old softie with them and would lie uncomfortably so as not to disturb them, also thereby making me uncomfortable, until I lost patience with it and chucked the cat out so we could all move. He could see it was silly.

None of this helps you though probably, sounds like a very different situation. You're sure the presence of the cat isn't making you a selfish bedfellow though?

Such a beautiful cat OP!

Dnamummy - those are the palest "Seals" I've ever seen

The cat that was killed last year was a blue point but Grand Champion standard according to his breeder who is now a friend so stayed very creamy even though he was 9. Here's a gratuitous picture of him. He was a massive character (his breeder says he was special from the start) and has left a big hole.

We said that no cat could replace him - but two together just about do

User - beautiful cat and you'll never be able to live with the looks he'll give you if you are daft enough to attempt any form of 'training'!

Prettybird - they are such big characters. I lost my Abyssinian and 2 Burmese (aged 17, 18, 19) within 2 years of each other and only another oriental could fill the hole in our family.

.....and totally agree on colouring but fortunately they're not for showing or breeding so if they turned out sky blue pink with yellow dots they would look perfect to me!

Just realised all photos show sleeping Siamese - thought we'd better balance that with a "what do you mean it's a fireplace, not a climbing frame" pose.

Thanks dna .. here's mine awake too He's a blue point.

User - look into those eyes!!!! Surely you've just answered your OP.....you can't banish that face (and expect to live!)

Get rid, of him. All cats, pedigree or otherwise reserve the right to sleep where they like. We share a bed with two cats, always. DS 23 shares his bed with cat number 3.

I love having a fur baby in bed all curled up next to me.

This is The Litter Tray. You have posted pictures of your cats. I'm sorry but there is only going to be one answer to your post
Beautiful by the way.

Sleep with the cat. Is the boyfriend worth keeping just for sex? That suits many men as well as a bed for the night. Afterwards could he not just curl up on a futon downstairs. He'd probably be content with his favourite meals and a few toys.

It's a good indication of his personality. Also check how boyfriends treat waiters, shop staff and animals

look into those eyes!!!! Surely you've just answered your OP.....you can't banish that face (and expect to live

I look into that face and see a cat who will probably hold up a flash card with a score out of 10 after moments of intimacy ... :)

There's definitely mischief there.

He's adorable. No way could I kick him out.