Cat likes to sleep in my bed, dp doesn't want him there

[Userwithoutaname]

Just wanted some opinions really ... my Siamese likes to sleep in my bed. He hates being shut downstairs but scratches the carpet if I shut the bedroom door. My bf stays over most nights (nearly always) and doesn't want the cat in bed with us.

It seems out of proportion to put the cat before my bf, I'm sure he thinks so anyway. But I feel sorry for my cat. He likes to always be with me. I have two other cats and he will curl up with them but they like to be out at night and tbh he'd prefer to be with me.

Wwyd?

Not at all materialistic but who brings you the best presents??

I'm with him.

I can just about get away with cats on beds if they've curled up on it for a snooze when the door has been open.

Cats on beds at bedtime, no.
Animals in beds, no.

I would never get into a relationship with someone who wants me to share my bed with an animal.

You can love animals and not have them sleeping in bed with you... I'm surprised this is something that people aren't willing to be more flexible about actually.

Not at all materialistic but who brings you the best presents

The cat will win hands down.

Rehome him.

So long as he isn't too old and can keep himself clean he'll be able to find another girlfriend.

Cats need to sleep with their peoples.

Just to clarify .. I don't have the cat in bed with me because I want him there .. he slept in my arms as a kitten and now sees it as his rightful place. I'm fine with him sleeping downstairs but I hate him to be sad. He's a Siamese, not your regular cat, as I'm sure other Siamese owners will agree .. more like a very wilful dog!

And he is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

The cat is 8 years old. The relationship is 2 years old.

It's the cat's bed poor sweet. The DP needs to deal.

He did know from the beginning that the cat slept with me, but had never really had anything to do with cats before. He accepts them, but is just not a cat person I think.

Dp brings flowers occasionally, cat brings nothing .. he leaves that to one of the others who thinks it's charming to present me with dead (mostly) baby rats each evening and once left me HALF a full grown rat in the garden!

If he accepts the cat is part of your life and he doesn't have an allergy, he has to deal with it.

Would he agree to dcat being banned during intimate moments but allowed in after that?

DCat sleeps on my bed. Luckily DH doesn't mind. I couldn't put him out of his bed.

My cat often sleeps on the bed too, though tbh, I have accidentally kicked her (through the duvet) in my sleep a few times which has, understandably, put her off. I couldn't sleep with a cat between my feet so am quite impressed you can do that. I'm not sure how that bothers your dp if you both stay still?? Anyway..

Could you train your cat to sleep on a cloth so it's a bit cleaner in the bed?

Or, could you train him to sleep in a cat bed next to your bed?

Or, could you invest in new beds such as two singles pushed together? Then your bf can have his own cat free bed.

I've never succeeded in training a Siamese to do anything. Any tips welcome.

I've just bought a new bed recently so can't buy another one.

I'll suggest the cat being banned at intimate moments but I think he worries about the spontaneity from previous discussions.

It doesn't entirely ruin the spontaneity... after some kissing etc you realise it's going further, then one of you chucks the surprised cat out and the other shuts the curtains so the people in the building opposite can't see you!

This is a tough one because some people aren't "pets allowed on the bed" type people which is fair. On the other hand, my cat curling up on my feet at night and purring is one of the best parts of my day. Plus the scratching and meowing when they are shut out is both heart breaking and annoying.

Can you perhaps help him understand it could be so much worse..........I have 2 Siamese who grudgingly let me share their bed!

Seriously I understand your point about training a Siamese to do anything!

Glad someone understands! I can't imagine having two in the bed!

He was only 3 months when we got him and it was the middle of winter ... he curled up in my arms from the beginning and i couldn't turn him away. He's slept in the bed ever since. It's a blessing that he now chooses my feet...

Well, there is another bed. Could you compromise by sometimes settling the cat down and then sleeping at your boyfriends' house?

No I can't leave my dd.

wow all in favour of the cat - just to balance that - cat outside and shut the door - the cat will learn.

no way should any animal ever be prioritised over a human - the fact you are even considering it and yet think that this BF is the person you want to be with for the rest of your life might just suggest a rethink of priorities!

sorry cat you will be quite comfortable with the others...

I told DH about the thread. He agrees, ditch the boyfriend.

DNAmummy - your cats looks like older versions of our new pair (10 months old now - got them as semi-rescue cats at 6 months old)

The old girl was used to sleeping on the bed (evening with dh, moving across to me in the early morning) and was lonely (her "brother" was killed on 31 August ): the pair of them used to go through to bed when dh went through - and would often be waiting for him while he went to the loo.

The two new kittens hadn't been allowed out of the small living room of their previous owner, so it's taken them a while to get used to the fact that they're allowed into the bedroom. That and the fact that the old girl used to hiss at them (especially the bigger one who just wanted to be friendly )

About 3 weeks ago we had a breakthrough. It's just as well we have a superking size bed

Pretty mum - this is mine as kittens....you're right the look very similar to yours!