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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Just got a kitten for my 6 year olds birthday, and its caused huge rows between husband and I.

241 replies

lovesmountains · 10/07/2011 21:51

Thanks for taking the time to read.

We bought a 3 month old house trained kitten from a rescue centre this week for my daughters 6th birthday present.

She is adorable and we all love her but DH has decided she is ABSOLUTELY not allowed in the house at all. We do have a wonderful garden and some shelter for her outside but my daughter and I would still love to be able to give her a cuddle in the house.

I've suggested that she comes in the house just to go on our lap and not wander around, but DH thinks she need to know her boundaries and this will only confuse her.

Never having had a cat before, would love to know others views on this.

Many thanks,

OP posts:
moajab · 10/07/2011 22:54

Sorry, this just wont work. This year we adopted a cat - an adult stray who turned up in our garden. She had been living outdoors for goodness knows how long and it was winter, so she was obviously one tough cat! and used to being outdoors. DH is allergic to cats so we decided to feed her but keep her outdoors, even building her her own little house.... it took her about 3 days to move indoors (and about 6 months for DH to build up some immunity!) If you keep your cat outdoors she will sooner or later run off and find someone who can take better care of her. If you let her in sometimes she will decide that your house is hers and demand to be let in at will and even the smallest, cutest cat can make the most horrible racket when they don't get their own way! I don't think your DH will like hearing that in the early hours!

hellymelly · 10/07/2011 22:55

I agree with all the other posters.You cannot keep a cat like this.Farm cats are virtually feral and do manage to some degree,but it can be a nightmare to get them to a vet etc when they are ill as they don't get socialised into the family.You are not on a farm, your plans for the cat are unrealistic and cruel, and I am certain if the rescue place knew your situation they would not have homed a cat with you,therefore you are honour bound to return it ,as you have essentially lied to them about your circumstances.I know that sounds harsh but you need to think of the cat,not of yourself.I can see how nice it is for you and your dd to have this kitten,but it is not a nice life for a cat. DH's cousin has a farm and two farm cats and they spend their lives trying to get inside,they really would rather be by the fire on someone's knee,they aren't happy to be out all the time.And who can blame them? Either give the cat a proper loving and safe home and environment or give her up to someone who can.Please don't be selfish about this.

HereLiesDobbyAFreeElf · 10/07/2011 22:57

Op is being very selfish about this.

Do you intend on getting up a few times in the night to make sure the kitten is ok? Thought not?

ScarlettIsWalking · 10/07/2011 22:59

How fucking selfish of you all. You should have got a toy. You won't have your little kitten for long.

What an awful thread.

CelebratedMonkey · 10/07/2011 22:59

This is animal cruelty. Please take the kitten back. Your daughter may not understand at the moment but it is the right thing to do.

Or would you prefer to explain to your daugher that the kitten has frozen to death or been badly injured by another cat, or taken in by another family?

Jux · 10/07/2011 23:00

If you lived on a farm and wanted a farm cat then he'd have a point.

Presumably you don't live on a farm and have a pet. Take her back so someone who will look after her nicely. Get it sorted with your dh and then get another one if you ever agree.

Meanwhile, don't leave the poor little thing in misery like this. TAKE HER BACK.

purplepidjin · 10/07/2011 23:00

You need one of these and a nice aunty with real animals to play with on visits.

And, as DP pointed out vehemently six is far too young to be responsible for a pet. Get her something she can actually enjoy as a present!

CelebratedMonkey · 10/07/2011 23:00

I can't have cats because I'm allergic to them and this post is making me sad and angry for the kitten, who must be awfully scared at night :(

Horrible.

purplepidjin · 10/07/2011 23:02

"Or would you prefer to explain to your daugher that the kitten has frozen to death or been badly injured by another cat, or taken in by another family?"

How about explaining to her when she's older about the scars on her face from the terrified cat's claws?

MammKernow · 10/07/2011 23:03
Shock

sat here with my 12 week old kitten on my lap. We live in the country. I'd give her about 10 mins survival time outside. No way should a 12 week old baby kitten be outside at all.

Please please take her back Sad

posterofagirl · 10/07/2011 23:07

Horrible, horrible Sad
You are being very selfish OP. Cats are not for your enjoyment they are living animals.

Take her back so she can find a nice home next to an aga.

Original poster
lovesmountains · 10/07/2011 23:07

Just been and had a chat with DH and mentioned lots of valid points that I've heard from you.

Basically, he is adamant that the cat will be fine outdoors. We are lucky enough to have lots of space and he thinks there is only 1 other wild cat living in the area so no problems from other cats.

He doesn't think she will run off as we feed her and love her.

I wished we'd never had her to be honest.

thanks.

OP posts:
Empusa · 10/07/2011 23:08

Take. Her. Back. To. The. Rescue.

EricNorthmansMistressOfPotions · 10/07/2011 23:09

Take Her Back Then

You can't keep her.

mollschambers · 10/07/2011 23:10

OMG you are actually going to keep her outside aren't you?

You should be fucking ashamed.

1 feral cat in the area is more than enough to kill her.

EricNorthmansMistressOfPotions · 10/07/2011 23:10

And your husband is a wanker.

thisisyesterday · 10/07/2011 23:10

how the flippin heck could he possibly know what other animals are around there, cats or otherwise?

you're being incredibly cruel to keep her outside.

it's a pity that despite everyone on this thread saying the same thing you are simply going to bow to your husband's wishes. is he like this all the time? making rules and forcing everyone to stick by them?

i really hope you give the cat back, or let her inside because the thought of you mistreating her has actually really upset me. she is a baby FFS
you are an adult and you could help her, but you're choosing not to because your wanker of a husband has decided there is only one wild cat living near you

i hope this is a wind-up

mollschambers · 10/07/2011 23:11

Your husband is an ignorant selfish twat btw.

LawrieMarlow · 10/07/2011 23:12

I find the whole of this story horrible Sad.

Did you know your husband's views on cats before you got the kitten? And how exactly is this a present for your daughter (am actually not happy with an animal being given as a present to a 6 year old - is she meant to be looking after it?)

Animals shouldn't go outside for a good few weeks after moving to a new house. And longer for small kittens I think (we got our cat when she was a bit older).

You need to take her back as the situation you have isn't going to work.

thisisyesterday · 10/07/2011 23:13

let's hope nothing scares her while she is out on the balcony or she WILL try and get away to safety.

:(

basingstoke · 10/07/2011 23:14

DH also brought up on a farm. Also doesn't like cats in the house. So we don't have a cat. Do you see?

LawrieMarlow · 10/07/2011 23:14

You don't love her. If you had an 10 year old child who you kept outside, that would not be showing that you loved them.

I am pretty sure you aren't listening to what anyone is saying here, but the fact we are all saying the same thing might mean something possibly.

Gay40 · 10/07/2011 23:16

You silly spineless thoughtless idiot. You and your husband should be strung up.

hellymelly · 10/07/2011 23:16

Um..he "doesn't think she will run off" how can he know that? She will still be a very young cat when the nights fall below freezing.Also "you love her".Clearly you don't love her,because you aren't doing the kind and decent thing and taking her back to the shelter.You love the idea of having her,but you need to do what is right for the animal not what is right for you.No rescue centre would give you an animal to keep like this-don't you wonder why that is? It's because it is CRUEL. What will happen when she is ill? When she is recovering from surgery/neutering? Would you still have her on a bloomin' balcony? I am stunned you can say you love animals and you would still do this.Totally selfish.

FoundWanting · 10/07/2011 23:17

Your husband is an arse.

And you are being spineless.

But, hey ho, it is only a dumb, baby animal. Right?