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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Just got a kitten for my 6 year olds birthday, and its caused huge rows between husband and I.

241 replies

lovesmountains · 10/07/2011 21:51

Thanks for taking the time to read.

We bought a 3 month old house trained kitten from a rescue centre this week for my daughters 6th birthday present.

She is adorable and we all love her but DH has decided she is ABSOLUTELY not allowed in the house at all. We do have a wonderful garden and some shelter for her outside but my daughter and I would still love to be able to give her a cuddle in the house.

I've suggested that she comes in the house just to go on our lap and not wander around, but DH thinks she need to know her boundaries and this will only confuse her.

Never having had a cat before, would love to know others views on this.

Many thanks,

OP posts:
DirtyMartini · 11/07/2011 16:48

You are a pair of idiots.

PfftTheMagicDragonhideGloves · 11/07/2011 16:55

My next door neighbour told me that she thinks that losing a dog is worse than losing a child.

She has 4 children Hmm

They must be fucking horrid children Grin

Hufflepuzzpig · 11/07/2011 17:45

Got to page 4 and am Shock and Angry just marking place for later

TheOriginalFAB · 11/07/2011 17:54

[speechless emoticon]

NetworkGuy · 11/07/2011 18:29

I did mean to ask earlier, OP, whether you are i the UK, and if so which region?

Just that for some reason I imagined you were on some picturesque Alpine slope, and our RSPCA wouldn't be in the picture, nor would offers to rehome this kitten be possible (in the UK), if you couldn't give it a warm and welcoming environment, after the comments you had posted early on.

I am glad your husband appears to have accepted that his "not in the house, except to sit on laps" approach was wrong, but would like to see you confirm that this kitten is guaranteed the opportunity to stay indoors overnight and pretty much whenever she wants, and that the mid-afternoon situation was not a "one off".

You acknowledged you had no experience before, and at one point wished you had not brought this kitten home. You may have a fair amount of heartache as your kitten grows and gets adventurous (I think there's a Go Kat advert, also available on YouTube where some rather acrobatic (and possibly photo technique enhanced) young cats are running wild.

Well, in all truth, cats only learn not to do things when they can confirm a past attempt where they got hurt, so do expect some wild climbing and random acts of vandalism (hint, running up your curtains isn't just in the imagination, it might well happen) to take place, so do "give her a break", as many other cats like to "explore" too!

My somewhat elderly 12-ish year old climbs up the edge of the shed (one or two small panels are missing so she treats it like a ladder with large steps and small gaps) to get onto the roof of the garage. Not to catch birds but it appears she likes the view and it gets the sun from quite early in the morning (e 06:30 at present) and she is out of harms way.

Coming down is a bit more stressful for me, as she jumps down some 4 feet to the fence post tile (problem is one front leg quivers when she is sat on her hind legs, so I'm concerned it may give way one day instead of being her shock-absorber) and then another few foot to the ground...

HereLiesDobbyAFreeElf · 11/07/2011 18:32

Glad he has let the kitten in, but really, you need to grow a pair.

NetworkGuy · 11/07/2011 18:37

Have to agree, that it does sound like 'D'H gets his way, unless he finally accepts he's fallible too.

Al0uiseG · 11/07/2011 18:37

How very dare you ignore my post?! still think he's a wanker

WyrdMother · 11/07/2011 19:41

bumblingbovine Regarding the quote from the link (not sure which link that was)
"...whilst many are given access outside or even live outside permanently..."

I believe they are referring to feral cats who generally live in establish communities. My MIL spends a great deal of time fostering feral kittens to allow them to be rehomed as domestic pets, the CPS in our area is involved in this as feral cats are very susceptable to disease (such as FIV (Cat AIDs), Feline Leukaemia, Cat Flu etc), violent death and additionally can become a nuisance when their breeding gets out of control (plus interbreeding can cause congenital defects). Older ferals if they are brought into the CPS and are deemed unsuitable for fostering and adoption are kept in a large pen, or are rehomed in places that have a pen for the cats to live in initially before being given the freedom of their new home, they are always neutered and vaccinated before they are let loose.

Nothing the OP says suggests the kitten is from feral stock and even if it was it would be unlikely to be rehomed with someone with limited experience with cats (or at least, it ought not to be, I have my doubts about this rehoming centre).

For the typical re-homed cat - (Quotes from Cats Protection) "...A cat should never be locked out all night..."

"... it is important to keep your cat inside the house until he has settled in and got used to the new inside environment. The minimum period before he should be allowed out is two weeks..." This quote refers to moving home, for a kitten they should be kept in until fully vacinated and spayed.

Source Page

MissCalamity · 11/07/2011 21:13

This thread has made me really upset; I've just had to put my cat to sleep as he had liver failure and I would give anything for him to spend another 24 hours curled up in his favourite spots in the house (there were quite a few!)

He came to us as a stray, maybe from a similar situation that you were describing at the start of the thread; all he wanted was love, attention and lots of food and I'm so glad we were able to do that for 4 and a half years and pity the people who let this amazing, lovely cat slip through their fingers.

I've told OH I'm not having any more cats, but after reading this thread I can honestly say I would grab this poor little kitty and run....

NevermindtheNargles · 11/07/2011 21:16

NetworkGuy

"Well, in all truth, cats only learn not to do things when they can confirm a past attempt where they got hurt"

Or liberally sprayed with a water pistol Wink

Al0uiseG · 11/07/2011 21:16

MissCalamity :(

HereLiesDobbyAFreeElf · 12/07/2011 08:20

So sorry about your boy MissCalamity.

Jux · 12/07/2011 09:22

hereliesdobby Grin my dh also builds 'staircases' for the frogs so they can get out of the pond....

lovesmountains and her dh, good. You will be amply rewarded with a happy cat who will purr at you - stroking her will be very therapeutic, so that when you next have a power struggle you can take refuge in her fur and calm down! Your daughter will adore and worship you both for such a lovely present.

HereLiesDobbyAFreeElf · 12/07/2011 12:45

Staricase for frogs Grin

Is he currently tunneling a path under the road for the hedgehogs as well?

Jux · 12/07/2011 14:18

That's his next big project! Grin

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