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The doghouse

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Original poster

Looked after friend's dog as a favour: now in the doghouse

255 replies

LetsTalkTwaddle · 07/03/2025 12:04

Friends of ours had the chance to take a big six-week holiday earlier this year. They booked a house-sitter to look after their place and their dog months in advance, only to be let down just before Christmas. They couldn't find a suitable replacement at short notice and couldn't bear to put their lovely young dog in kennels. They were on the verge of cancelling everything when we volunteered to have him stay with us. We'd been hoping to grab a week or two in Spain or north Africa in February, but their need seemed more pressing than our need for a break. We're experienced dog owners and we live in doggy heaven: our house backs onto miles of open common land and countryside, with hours of walking direct from our back gate.

The dog came and soon settled down. He absolutely loved his two or three walks each day. The weather was pretty good and he adored playing in the local river and streams. He was easy and obedient and a pleasure to be with. We both work from home and so he had company for much of the day. We followed all their rules — no balls, no human food, not allowed on furniture or upstairs — to the letter. Every few days we sent them pictures or short videos to show them what he was up to.

Last week, on their return, we took him back to the meet-up point halfway between out homes and handed him back. They seemed a little upset that he wasn't all over them. He was happy and waggy to see them, but not leaping around. We had lunch together and they kept mentioning that we'd spoiled him with such nice walks and more company than he was used to, and although they thanked us there was a bit of an edge in the air. We said what a good job they'd done training him, and that he was probably a little confused by what was going on and wasn't sure who he was going home with. We deliberately didn't make a lot of fuss of him as we left.

We didn't hear anything more from them, which surprised me. They are the kind of people who if they stay with us, send a thank you message on their return home. On Tuesday I messaged, hoping that all is going well and saying something silly about missing my daily morning walk. They haven't responded, which isn't like them. We have a mutual friend and apparently they've said to her that we've spoiled him and now he's going to struggle to deal with their work routine (apparently he spends about six hours a day on his own) and their shorter walks.

I've known these people since university/ training days. I can't quite believe that something like this has blown up our friendship. What would you do?

OP posts:
Justleaveitblankthen · 08/03/2025 06:04

Oh the poor dog 😔
He had a wonderful holiday with you and would have loved to stay. 🐾

pilates · 08/03/2025 06:06

Ungrateful twats.

They should be pleased they were able to go away for such a long time and their dog was so well looked after.

I think they realise what a better life he had with you and they can’t offer this. Poor dog being left so long on his own 😔

SparklesGlitter · 08/03/2025 07:02

Of the many things wrong with their behaviour and rules, what the thinking behind no balls????

SparklesGlitter · 08/03/2025 07:13

Also, you sound amazing! Can you look after my dog if our sitters aren’t available? 🤭

in all seriousness, it should be so important that the dog is treated with kindness and love, and put in their place if needs be. All the other stuff is just noise. Of course he was going to have a different time at your house, for one it was 6 weeks! They knew your living situation. I think I’d distance myself for them going behind my back. As soon as I get wind of that disloyalty I’m off. No time for it. It’s taken 40 something years to get to that point though.

SparklesGlitter · 08/03/2025 07:38

SparklesGlitter · 08/03/2025 07:02

Of the many things wrong with their behaviour and rules, what the thinking behind no balls????

Apologies, I see this has been answered. Ignore this

DaxieTaxi · 08/03/2025 08:03

No good deed goes unpunished…

rookiemere · 08/03/2025 08:08

We have an amazing dog sitter through Borrowmydoggy and as the concept is based on not paying , I always buy fizz, chocolates and give a gift card plus some goodies from our holiday to show how grateful I am, to the point where DH sometimes jokes it would be cheaper just to pay for care. But knowing your pet is happy when you are away is priceless.

These people are idiots, I wonder if it's a wider thing though. Maybe they're waking up to the fact they are providing their dog a sub optimal life and questioning if they are well suited as dog owners. With the benefit of hindsight, perhaps it would have been better to do the meal out a few weeks later, rather than at handover time.

lessglittermoremud · 08/03/2025 08:33

Sounds like he had an amazing holiday! To be fair if I had gone to pick up our dogs from someone and after 6 weeks they weren’t that bothered about me, it would make my heart a little sad….
Having said that I wouldn’t blame you for it and would be so grateful for you looking after them so well.
I think they are being ungrateful, if they had had to pay someone around here it would have cost £30 for 24 hours.
You sound like you have an amazing home, I know you’ve said that you don’t want another dog but have you looked at doggy fostering. We foster for a charity and have the dogs until they get adopted, alongside our own dogs but I know people who are massive dog lovers who don’t wish to have a dog full time really enjoy it and it’s so worthwhile.

Casperroonie · 08/03/2025 08:45

LetsTalkTwaddle · 07/03/2025 12:04

Friends of ours had the chance to take a big six-week holiday earlier this year. They booked a house-sitter to look after their place and their dog months in advance, only to be let down just before Christmas. They couldn't find a suitable replacement at short notice and couldn't bear to put their lovely young dog in kennels. They were on the verge of cancelling everything when we volunteered to have him stay with us. We'd been hoping to grab a week or two in Spain or north Africa in February, but their need seemed more pressing than our need for a break. We're experienced dog owners and we live in doggy heaven: our house backs onto miles of open common land and countryside, with hours of walking direct from our back gate.

The dog came and soon settled down. He absolutely loved his two or three walks each day. The weather was pretty good and he adored playing in the local river and streams. He was easy and obedient and a pleasure to be with. We both work from home and so he had company for much of the day. We followed all their rules — no balls, no human food, not allowed on furniture or upstairs — to the letter. Every few days we sent them pictures or short videos to show them what he was up to.

Last week, on their return, we took him back to the meet-up point halfway between out homes and handed him back. They seemed a little upset that he wasn't all over them. He was happy and waggy to see them, but not leaping around. We had lunch together and they kept mentioning that we'd spoiled him with such nice walks and more company than he was used to, and although they thanked us there was a bit of an edge in the air. We said what a good job they'd done training him, and that he was probably a little confused by what was going on and wasn't sure who he was going home with. We deliberately didn't make a lot of fuss of him as we left.

We didn't hear anything more from them, which surprised me. They are the kind of people who if they stay with us, send a thank you message on their return home. On Tuesday I messaged, hoping that all is going well and saying something silly about missing my daily morning walk. They haven't responded, which isn't like them. We have a mutual friend and apparently they've said to her that we've spoiled him and now he's going to struggle to deal with their work routine (apparently he spends about six hours a day on his own) and their shorter walks.

I've known these people since university/ training days. I can't quite believe that something like this has blown up our friendship. What would you do?

How sad. They're obviously totally inadequate owners. Well done for giving their doggy a bit of joy in his life.

Original poster
LetsTalkTwaddle · 08/03/2025 14:53

That's both an insulting and ridiculous thing to say. They've brought up a young dog to be a pleasure to be around. He doesn't jump up (a major issue with so many of his breed), he comes when called, he waits for humans to go through doors first — and he's not yet two years old. He travels well, he communicates well, he's bomb-proof with noises and bangs, he plays nicely with people and other dogs... They've put a lot of time and love and effort into him and it shows.

OP posts:
AngelicKaty · 08/03/2025 15:12

@LetsTalkTwaddle
Not only are you a kind and supportive friend OP, but you're loyal too. I hope your friends remember this - eventually - and message you back when they've got over their daft moment. 🤗

DeadSpace3 · 08/03/2025 17:42

LetsTalkTwaddle · 07/03/2025 12:04

Friends of ours had the chance to take a big six-week holiday earlier this year. They booked a house-sitter to look after their place and their dog months in advance, only to be let down just before Christmas. They couldn't find a suitable replacement at short notice and couldn't bear to put their lovely young dog in kennels. They were on the verge of cancelling everything when we volunteered to have him stay with us. We'd been hoping to grab a week or two in Spain or north Africa in February, but their need seemed more pressing than our need for a break. We're experienced dog owners and we live in doggy heaven: our house backs onto miles of open common land and countryside, with hours of walking direct from our back gate.

The dog came and soon settled down. He absolutely loved his two or three walks each day. The weather was pretty good and he adored playing in the local river and streams. He was easy and obedient and a pleasure to be with. We both work from home and so he had company for much of the day. We followed all their rules — no balls, no human food, not allowed on furniture or upstairs — to the letter. Every few days we sent them pictures or short videos to show them what he was up to.

Last week, on their return, we took him back to the meet-up point halfway between out homes and handed him back. They seemed a little upset that he wasn't all over them. He was happy and waggy to see them, but not leaping around. We had lunch together and they kept mentioning that we'd spoiled him with such nice walks and more company than he was used to, and although they thanked us there was a bit of an edge in the air. We said what a good job they'd done training him, and that he was probably a little confused by what was going on and wasn't sure who he was going home with. We deliberately didn't make a lot of fuss of him as we left.

We didn't hear anything more from them, which surprised me. They are the kind of people who if they stay with us, send a thank you message on their return home. On Tuesday I messaged, hoping that all is going well and saying something silly about missing my daily morning walk. They haven't responded, which isn't like them. We have a mutual friend and apparently they've said to her that we've spoiled him and now he's going to struggle to deal with their work routine (apparently he spends about six hours a day on his own) and their shorter walks.

I've known these people since university/ training days. I can't quite believe that something like this has blown up our friendship. What would you do?

No balls? It's a fecking dog FFS 😆

Lovehascomeandgone · 08/03/2025 18:06

I think you did a lovely thing and they are being extremely rude and ungrateful. They know you well enough to know where you live and your working patterns. They should have been super grateful and are being very pathetic in my opinion. Not your problem, ignore it.

JustWalkingTheDogs · 08/03/2025 18:23

Anything other than absolute gratitude from them is just awful behaviour.

Tbh if they are funny with you or make a sarcastic comment about the dog I'd really go to town on them.

You've looked after their dog, free of charge for 6 weeks
You've probably saved them somewhere in the region of £3000+
You changed your holidays around to enable their holiday to look after their dog.
You've walked, fed and generally worked your usual day job around their job

Doesn't matter if you did spoil the dog, they should be eternally grateful to you and go out of their way to express this.

BobbySox71 · 08/03/2025 18:33

You sound like the perfect dog sitters, I would happily pay £30 day/night for our dog to be treated like that. We wouldn’t dream of putting our dog in kennels, we did have a lovely dog sitter who has since moved away

HeronTwist · 08/03/2025 19:01

Trallers · 07/03/2025 12:25

So they're thinking that you looked after their dog better than they did to the point it likes you better than them and now they're sulking about it?

I'd be writing a message that you've not heard a peep from them but understand they've been gossiping about you, saying you've spoiled their dog and you are outraged. You followed their rules to the letter in order to respect their wishes and treat their beloved pet well. To have a problem with that which they won't say to you but will happily communicate to your friends to badmouth you is incredibly hurtful.

Edited

I agree, I think you should tackle this head on. They’re being bitter and resentful, but are unlikely to want to admit this is how they’re feeling as even they must see it is a bit unreasonable.

I wouldn’t normally say confronting someone with their own gossip is a good idea - it just ends up messy usually. But in this case I think they need to be confronted. They are being very unreasonable and ungrateful.

GoldOP · 08/03/2025 19:15

Friends of ours have helped us out the last couple of years with minding our dog while we go on summer hol. Aside from basic instructions re her food we left them to it.
They walked her as much or as little as what suited them, they allowed her upstairs at night which we don’t do but it was no big deal because as soon as she got home she knew what our ‘rules’ are.
We were immensely grateful as it saved us a lot of money in dog sitter fees and we knew she was being looked after by people who cared for her and she trusted. We treated them to a night out on us when we got home.
Your friends are being ungrateful dicks and I wouldn’t bother trying to contact them again, I imagine their dog settled back into their routine pretty quickly once home so they’re making a huge deal over nothing.

Snakebite61 · 08/03/2025 19:23

LetsTalkTwaddle · 07/03/2025 12:04

Friends of ours had the chance to take a big six-week holiday earlier this year. They booked a house-sitter to look after their place and their dog months in advance, only to be let down just before Christmas. They couldn't find a suitable replacement at short notice and couldn't bear to put their lovely young dog in kennels. They were on the verge of cancelling everything when we volunteered to have him stay with us. We'd been hoping to grab a week or two in Spain or north Africa in February, but their need seemed more pressing than our need for a break. We're experienced dog owners and we live in doggy heaven: our house backs onto miles of open common land and countryside, with hours of walking direct from our back gate.

The dog came and soon settled down. He absolutely loved his two or three walks each day. The weather was pretty good and he adored playing in the local river and streams. He was easy and obedient and a pleasure to be with. We both work from home and so he had company for much of the day. We followed all their rules — no balls, no human food, not allowed on furniture or upstairs — to the letter. Every few days we sent them pictures or short videos to show them what he was up to.

Last week, on their return, we took him back to the meet-up point halfway between out homes and handed him back. They seemed a little upset that he wasn't all over them. He was happy and waggy to see them, but not leaping around. We had lunch together and they kept mentioning that we'd spoiled him with such nice walks and more company than he was used to, and although they thanked us there was a bit of an edge in the air. We said what a good job they'd done training him, and that he was probably a little confused by what was going on and wasn't sure who he was going home with. We deliberately didn't make a lot of fuss of him as we left.

We didn't hear anything more from them, which surprised me. They are the kind of people who if they stay with us, send a thank you message on their return home. On Tuesday I messaged, hoping that all is going well and saying something silly about missing my daily morning walk. They haven't responded, which isn't like them. We have a mutual friend and apparently they've said to her that we've spoiled him and now he's going to struggle to deal with their work routine (apparently he spends about six hours a day on his own) and their shorter walks.

I've known these people since university/ training days. I can't quite believe that something like this has blown up our friendship. What would you do?

Looks like it's three friends you need to get rid of.

Waspalert · 08/03/2025 19:24

I wish we had someone like you to look after our dog when we go away! Lucky pup - I’m not surprised he didn’t want to go home!

Buffs · 08/03/2025 19:49

My goodness they sound thoroughly ungrateful.

AnonbecauseIamlackinginspiration · 08/03/2025 19:55

Wow, some of the behaviour on here never fails to blow my mind. I have NEVER had anyone dog sit for us for free, bar the odd night and I’ve plied them with gifts and gratitude. Absolutely outrageously rude and ungrateful. The agreement wasn’t that you would absolutely replicate their days but that you would keep their dog heathy and safe, and you cancelled plans to do so. I would call them out on this, they need to give their heads a wobble.

Nextdoor55 · 08/03/2025 20:09

Dear oink & oinkette,
We understand that you've complained that we've spoilt your dog, by taking him for walks & being with him when we worked from home whilst you went on holiday.
For reference, we followed your instructions to the letter. We treated him the way we would any visiting pet & are struggling to see what your issue is with this.

*These people should not have a dog they clearly are missing the point of having one, which is actually to care for & look after them. How ungrateful are they?!?

cardboardvillage · 08/03/2025 20:35

Unbelievable!

Id be delighted if that were me. I would know I could leave my dog with you again ..win/win!

They sound very strange!

Gagaandgag · 08/03/2025 20:38

Op you sound like such wonderful people

Khayker · 08/03/2025 21:02

Sounds like they don't want a dog, just an accessory. I would ignore them and 6 hours a day is far too long to leave a dog, 4 hours is the recommended max. Hope the dog is ok, they don't sound very nice to me.