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The doghouse

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Looked after friend's dog as a favour: now in the doghouse

255 replies

LetsTalkTwaddle · 07/03/2025 12:04

Friends of ours had the chance to take a big six-week holiday earlier this year. They booked a house-sitter to look after their place and their dog months in advance, only to be let down just before Christmas. They couldn't find a suitable replacement at short notice and couldn't bear to put their lovely young dog in kennels. They were on the verge of cancelling everything when we volunteered to have him stay with us. We'd been hoping to grab a week or two in Spain or north Africa in February, but their need seemed more pressing than our need for a break. We're experienced dog owners and we live in doggy heaven: our house backs onto miles of open common land and countryside, with hours of walking direct from our back gate.

The dog came and soon settled down. He absolutely loved his two or three walks each day. The weather was pretty good and he adored playing in the local river and streams. He was easy and obedient and a pleasure to be with. We both work from home and so he had company for much of the day. We followed all their rules — no balls, no human food, not allowed on furniture or upstairs — to the letter. Every few days we sent them pictures or short videos to show them what he was up to.

Last week, on their return, we took him back to the meet-up point halfway between out homes and handed him back. They seemed a little upset that he wasn't all over them. He was happy and waggy to see them, but not leaping around. We had lunch together and they kept mentioning that we'd spoiled him with such nice walks and more company than he was used to, and although they thanked us there was a bit of an edge in the air. We said what a good job they'd done training him, and that he was probably a little confused by what was going on and wasn't sure who he was going home with. We deliberately didn't make a lot of fuss of him as we left.

We didn't hear anything more from them, which surprised me. They are the kind of people who if they stay with us, send a thank you message on their return home. On Tuesday I messaged, hoping that all is going well and saying something silly about missing my daily morning walk. They haven't responded, which isn't like them. We have a mutual friend and apparently they've said to her that we've spoiled him and now he's going to struggle to deal with their work routine (apparently he spends about six hours a day on his own) and their shorter walks.

I've known these people since university/ training days. I can't quite believe that something like this has blown up our friendship. What would you do?

OP posts:
iloveeverykindofcat · 07/03/2025 17:01

That is so weird. Maybe its different with cats but my senior girl is a bit of a one-person cat. She's very much "my girl" and has slept with me every single night for the past 14 years unless I was on a trip, she or I were in hospital, and when she was mad with me for a week when I brought the little one home (I've got to stop calling her the little one. She's bigger than senior girl now). She's generally pretty indifferent to other humans. I was away a few days in Autumn and her sitter sent me a picture of senior girl on her knee being petted. I was absolutely delighted, it made my day. My biggest concern when I'm away is senior girl missing me or being bothered by the little one without me to redirect.

Little one doesn't give a damn really, as long as some human is there to cater to her and admire her she's happy as a clam. 😂

Swapsnamebriefly · 07/03/2025 17:09

iloveeverykindofcat · 07/03/2025 17:01

That is so weird. Maybe its different with cats but my senior girl is a bit of a one-person cat. She's very much "my girl" and has slept with me every single night for the past 14 years unless I was on a trip, she or I were in hospital, and when she was mad with me for a week when I brought the little one home (I've got to stop calling her the little one. She's bigger than senior girl now). She's generally pretty indifferent to other humans. I was away a few days in Autumn and her sitter sent me a picture of senior girl on her knee being petted. I was absolutely delighted, it made my day. My biggest concern when I'm away is senior girl missing me or being bothered by the little one without me to redirect.

Little one doesn't give a damn really, as long as some human is there to cater to her and admire her she's happy as a clam. 😂

Cats are known to be pretty promiscuous when it comes to owners. In the US alone there's something like 40k pet owners for every 20K pets.

HardenYourHeart · 07/03/2025 17:20

So they were mad that you didn't mistreat their dog? Weird and concerning.

iloveeverykindofcat · 07/03/2025 17:30

@Swapsnamebriefly
Oh little one has at least two other houses and another family. She goes in their conservatory to watch TV with them. The only problem is she's allergic to everything in the world except turkey, a skinny girl who likes to eat, and very charming. She has a 'please don't feed me, I have allergies' collar but she's an expert at taking them off 🙄

5128gap · 07/03/2025 17:32

What ridiculous people. I feel so sorry for their dog having to leave you and go back to them. Especially now the poor animal will probably also be in their bad books for enjoying himself too much. Its been a long time coming but your friends have shown thenselves for who they are.

Littlemisscapable · 07/03/2025 17:53

People can be so odd OP.. its not you.

Lostworlds · 07/03/2025 18:06

My dog goes to my in laws when we go away, she loves it and we are happy she has a nice time. Whenever we pick her up she’s always a bit miffed, simply because she’s annoyed we left her in the first place! Sometimes dogs can be funny like that so the fact it wasn’t jumping for joy when it seen them doesn’t mean much!

I think they are incredibly ungrateful! I know you don’t want to risk the friendship but they are being very immature and I would find it hard to continue being a friend to them. Did they expect you to ignore the dog for large parts of the day and then take it short walks?

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 07/03/2025 18:14

Ungrateful bastards! Their behaviour is appalling! What great time the dog has had with you.

Newfoundzestforlife · 07/03/2025 18:15

Wow! No good deed goes unpunished eh?
Never help them out again.
I'd be furious 😠

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 07/03/2025 18:20

Message to say “I’ve received a bouquet of flowers - are they from you?”

They’ll say no and you can say you thought it was a thank you for dog sitting. Just to remind them of how ungrateful they are.

Did you maybe say something that upset them about how much happier doggie is with you or something? It’s baffling!

LetsTalkTwaddle · 07/03/2025 18:54

Did you maybe say something that upset them about how much happier doggie is with you or something? It’s baffling!

No. We've tried to be really careful not to suggest he's had a better time with us than at home with them. Our talk was positive — what a good job they'd done training him, what a great guest dog he was and how much we've enjoyed seeing him enjoy himself. We wouldn't dream of saying anything critical of their care for him. He's a gorgeous dog, they've done well by him. They knew what we could offer him: they've been here and stayed with us. They knew he'd have good walks and that we'd be around during the day.

DP says they were jet-lagged after a shitty journey and a bit down at being back in the UK in chilly March sunshine after weeks in the sun, and that they'd missed the dog and had anticipated him jumping up and lots of licks and excitement, and instead he was waggy and happy to see them but quite calm. So possibly the whole situation was underwhelming and a bit grim for them.

OP posts:
thenightsky · 07/03/2025 19:58

I regularly dog sit my DD and her DH's lovely dog. If we hand him back at at half way point like pub or motorway service station, he NEVER gets waggy with the hellos. If they pick him up from here, he goes crazy over them. Its quite odd really.

converseandjeans · 07/03/2025 20:00

They're lucky you agreed to dog sit & we would be so grateful! We only have one friend who will agree to dog sit. So impromptu days out or nights away are impossible. They are being really silly.

Laralou999 · 07/03/2025 20:20

They should definitely be more grateful, but you sound like a nice person. Sounds like they are just feeling insecure about their dog parenting skills. Sometimes I get this with my in laws when the kids are being difficult and they tell me they’ve been absolutely amazing when they've babysat. I think it can just rub you up the wrong way/ make you feel inferior.

if you can be the bigger person and let it slide hopefully things can go back to normal - but not easy I know

Borris · 07/03/2025 20:23

Crazy. We had a dog that used to sulk when we picked her up from our dog sitting friends. I was always just thankful that she had had such a lovely time.

HappiestSleeping · 07/03/2025 20:35

@LetsTalkTwaddle I would be very happy for you to look after my dog if you want a further "temporary doggo"?

It sounds like you did a fabulous job, and that doggo was most settled. I would happily bring you two bottles of duty free gin, maybe three.

You aren't in Hampshire by any chance are you?

vipersnest1 · 07/03/2025 21:04

What a pair of ingrates, @LetsTalkTwaddle.
Despite my neighbours saying they didn't want anything for it, I gave them a gift voucher for £100 (I put it through their door so they couldn't refuse it) after they came over to give my cat his meat once a day when I was on holiday for a week last year (dry food and shelter was permanently available).
They saved me more than that and my cat got to stay at home and be outside during the nice weather too!
Don't ever do it again for them - they don't deserve it.

MyGardenHasGreatTits · 07/03/2025 21:23

I recently lost my lovely girl. The day we took her to the vets (this was not as easy as my blithe typing…), her dog walker came to say goodbye. I discovered my dog walkers mum used to make my lovely girl bacon sandwiches twice a week. And cook sausages just for her.

I fed her vet prescribed kibble and chicken and veg.

I was DELIGHTED to hear my old girl had a secret, spoilt and loving relationship with other people. I was only glad she was treated with such care by those around her.

Your mates are bonkers.

I’d be tempted to steal the dog.

LetsTalkTwaddle · 07/03/2025 23:34

HappiestSleeping · 07/03/2025 20:35

@LetsTalkTwaddle I would be very happy for you to look after my dog if you want a further "temporary doggo"?

It sounds like you did a fabulous job, and that doggo was most settled. I would happily bring you two bottles of duty free gin, maybe three.

You aren't in Hampshire by any chance are you?

Sadly not!

OP posts:
Julimia · 07/03/2025 23:34

That's just ridiculous. How kind you've been. They are responding as if you've mistreated him. Certainly not the case. You know you've done nothing wrong. I would try and ĺeave them to it. Spoilt! No just very well looked after.

HappiestSleeping · 08/03/2025 04:59

LetsTalkTwaddle · 07/03/2025 23:34

Sadly not!

That's a shame. Seriously, they are being idiots. To get that level of care for free is something to be cherished. It's £50 to £70 per night around here.

FondantFancyFan · 08/03/2025 05:35

Don't contact them again and leave them to stew in their own juices, you don't need people like that in your life.

Beebsta · 08/03/2025 05:42

LetsTalkTwaddle · 07/03/2025 14:08

No, we're not looking for another dog. We've had 17 consecutive years of dog-servitude, and one of those dogs was pretty demanding. We're really not looking for a new one at the moment. We hope later this year to wind down our workload and travel much more. When you have a 'difficult' dog, as we did for 14 years, it can be almost impossible to find appropriate care and so we went without foreign holidays together for years. We'd obviously love to have our friends' dog back from time to time, and we'd welcome other easygoing and reasonably well-behaved dogs too. We've both improved our fitness with all the walking over the last six weeks and, as I've already said, he brightened the gloom of January and February. But if they offered him to us we'd have to say no. We really want to spend the next few years away from home regularly and even a lovely dog complicates that.

Sounds like you should offer dog sitting services as a paid for side gig. You will of course have to meet the dog first and make sure it’s a nice dog. This way you get the joy of taking a dog for walks and looking after it without the commitment. It might make a nice semi-retirement income stream when you get to that point.

autisticbookworm · 08/03/2025 05:49

How rude and weird of them. I'd be very miffed and expecting a apology when they came to their senses

stayathomer · 08/03/2025 05:53

I’d say he’s possibly acting like a nightmare now remembering what he could have and they’re wrongly pissed off at you which is beyond ridiculous!!!