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The doghouse

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Looked after friend's dog as a favour: now in the doghouse

255 replies

LetsTalkTwaddle · 07/03/2025 12:04

Friends of ours had the chance to take a big six-week holiday earlier this year. They booked a house-sitter to look after their place and their dog months in advance, only to be let down just before Christmas. They couldn't find a suitable replacement at short notice and couldn't bear to put their lovely young dog in kennels. They were on the verge of cancelling everything when we volunteered to have him stay with us. We'd been hoping to grab a week or two in Spain or north Africa in February, but their need seemed more pressing than our need for a break. We're experienced dog owners and we live in doggy heaven: our house backs onto miles of open common land and countryside, with hours of walking direct from our back gate.

The dog came and soon settled down. He absolutely loved his two or three walks each day. The weather was pretty good and he adored playing in the local river and streams. He was easy and obedient and a pleasure to be with. We both work from home and so he had company for much of the day. We followed all their rules — no balls, no human food, not allowed on furniture or upstairs — to the letter. Every few days we sent them pictures or short videos to show them what he was up to.

Last week, on their return, we took him back to the meet-up point halfway between out homes and handed him back. They seemed a little upset that he wasn't all over them. He was happy and waggy to see them, but not leaping around. We had lunch together and they kept mentioning that we'd spoiled him with such nice walks and more company than he was used to, and although they thanked us there was a bit of an edge in the air. We said what a good job they'd done training him, and that he was probably a little confused by what was going on and wasn't sure who he was going home with. We deliberately didn't make a lot of fuss of him as we left.

We didn't hear anything more from them, which surprised me. They are the kind of people who if they stay with us, send a thank you message on their return home. On Tuesday I messaged, hoping that all is going well and saying something silly about missing my daily morning walk. They haven't responded, which isn't like them. We have a mutual friend and apparently they've said to her that we've spoiled him and now he's going to struggle to deal with their work routine (apparently he spends about six hours a day on his own) and their shorter walks.

I've known these people since university/ training days. I can't quite believe that something like this has blown up our friendship. What would you do?

OP posts:
Dogsbreath7 · 08/03/2025 21:08

Nellienooiloveyou · 07/03/2025 12:15

Omg how ungrateful. I cam only dream of having a friend like you!

Me too. I have two you are welcome to have for dog sitting and I won’t mind them sitting on the sofa😄.

We can’t bear to leave them in kennels- we would have really been able to enjoy the holiday knowing they were being loved and cared for such a high standard.

They truly are ungrateful. As others have said it looks like they can’t really care for the dog and shouldn’t have considered EVER leaving him for 6 weeks. Patently jealous their dog has bonded with you. But that would happen with anyone.

leave them to it.

Nantescalling · 08/03/2025 21:20

LetsTalkTwaddle · 07/03/2025 12:23

Yes, they've stayed with us for a few days most years since we moved here. They've always enjoyed going walking with our dogs in the past. They knew exactly where he was coming to and what sort of life he'd have a for a few weeks. It's bonkers, isn't it? My DP has suggested that they may not have had the best time on their holiday and that they're just using the dog as a way of venting frustration, but we just don't know. I've known them for getting on for 30 years and I'm stunned. And at the same time I can see that if the situation was reversed, I might be feeling a bite sore that I wasn't able to give my dog all the attention and exercise that other people could offer. I don't know. It feels as if we tried to do something kind and it's gone badly wrong.

Well to add insult to injury, theyhave guilt tripped you into feling sorry for them. No way, they are being vile. Whatever their reasons for acting ungrateful : bad sex on holiday - jealousy of your life style - their guilt about having a 6-hours alone day dog, it's not good enough.

BorderTerrierMummy · 08/03/2025 22:33

Our dog border charges £40 a weekday, £50 Saturday/Sunday. They're worth every penny because they do EXACTLY what you did. You provided a safe, happy and loving home while they were away. Given it was six weeks they were lucky doggy didn't pine or struggle to adapt to you. Take that as a sign of how brilliant you were.

They were so lucky to have someone to take such good care of their dog. If anything else is at the front of their minds they're pants owners.

Jertzy · 09/03/2025 01:21

KidsDoBetter · 07/03/2025 12:18

£30 a night x 6 weeks. That will pay for a lovely holiday and is what my dog walker charges for overnights.

Ungrateful sods. Honestly. That’s defies belief. Dog clearly had time of his life.

Sorry to go off topic but £30 for overnights?! I pay £15 per 15 minute visit for my cat (and she hides almost the entire visit. The cat that is)!

(I couldn't fault my cat lady and I knew this would be an expense once I got the cat, I'm just shocked at the price difference!)

Back on topic, I'm wondering if this couple are feeling jealous of his now divided loyalty. It may be that he is their "baby" if they're not able to have children and that makes it all the more disappointing for them.

Either way, there is no excuse for such rude behaviour! I'm sorry that you're being treated this way.

Evan456 · 09/03/2025 06:26

I’d be over the moon if someone looked after my dogs the way you did, and for free! They’re idiots to lose your friendship over this

LovelyJubly12 · 09/03/2025 07:50

Very very rude and ungrateful. I had a similar experience. We had neighbours who had a dog and we looked after him for a short time whilst they were away and also offered to walk him from time to time . Our children were friends . They got progressively cooler with us because their idea of a walk was 20 mins round the block twice a day. He loved going on four or five mile walks with us but they thought it was bad for him.

AngelicKaty · 09/03/2025 07:54

DeadSpace3 · 08/03/2025 17:42

No balls? It's a fecking dog FFS 😆

Some dogs become ball-obsessive. Our friends had a cocker spaniel who was like this - you could have thrown her ball continuously, 24 hours a day, and she would NEVER have tired of it. The owners, their family and friends did though ... 😂

rookiemere · 09/03/2025 08:13

Running and stopping suddenly to pick up balls is very bad for dogs joints, particularly large ones like ours.

Mind you our dog is like the one mentioned upthread. I dread it when he finds a ball as our walk is entirely ruined. He holds onto it and looks menacingly at any other dogs that come near - he is usually very friendly- he then drops it tauntingly for us and if we do go to pick it up to throw for him he then grabs it back looking really smug.

ByPithyLion · 09/03/2025 08:29

My daughter and her partner go away for short breaks a few times every year and "Nana" ie: me, gets to look after Daisy, their gorgeous, crazy cavapoo! She's a bloody pain when they get back with the dirty looks flung at them and blatantly ignoring them 🤣
Always takes her a few days to settle back down. No doubt who the Boss is!

ProfessionalWhimsicalSkidaddler · 09/03/2025 09:34

Jesus, can you look after my doggie please? He's mostly a pleasure and due to arthritis only needs a short walk a day!

Probably your DH was right that they didn't have as good of a time as they hoped and when they were so excited to see him, they've been disappointed he wasn't.

KIlliePieMyOhMy · 09/03/2025 09:38

Can you explain 'no balls'? - sorry I see you answered that.

Coastgirl22 · 09/03/2025 09:47

Can I come and stay in your house for 6 weeks - sounds idyllic!! - they’re a pair of cranks and you’re much better than being treated like this. Take your kindness and generosity and share it where it will be appreciated.

Lockdownsceptic · 09/03/2025 10:02

Do nothing. Continue towards them as you would if this hadn’t happened. They’ll either come round or they won’t. It’s up to them. If they drop you because of this then it’s no real loss to you as they weren’t worth having as friends in the first place.

riceuten · 09/03/2025 11:21

I’d be seriously reconsidering my ‘friendship ‘ with 2 such ungrateful and self-absorbed idiots.

ElizaCBennett · 09/03/2025 11:24

No good deed goes unpunished!

Debsnotts · 09/03/2025 12:03

Ungrateful gits !! Don’t ever offer again let them pay £30/40 a night

Nikki75 · 09/03/2025 13:13

LetsTalkTwaddle · 07/03/2025 12:04

Friends of ours had the chance to take a big six-week holiday earlier this year. They booked a house-sitter to look after their place and their dog months in advance, only to be let down just before Christmas. They couldn't find a suitable replacement at short notice and couldn't bear to put their lovely young dog in kennels. They were on the verge of cancelling everything when we volunteered to have him stay with us. We'd been hoping to grab a week or two in Spain or north Africa in February, but their need seemed more pressing than our need for a break. We're experienced dog owners and we live in doggy heaven: our house backs onto miles of open common land and countryside, with hours of walking direct from our back gate.

The dog came and soon settled down. He absolutely loved his two or three walks each day. The weather was pretty good and he adored playing in the local river and streams. He was easy and obedient and a pleasure to be with. We both work from home and so he had company for much of the day. We followed all their rules — no balls, no human food, not allowed on furniture or upstairs — to the letter. Every few days we sent them pictures or short videos to show them what he was up to.

Last week, on their return, we took him back to the meet-up point halfway between out homes and handed him back. They seemed a little upset that he wasn't all over them. He was happy and waggy to see them, but not leaping around. We had lunch together and they kept mentioning that we'd spoiled him with such nice walks and more company than he was used to, and although they thanked us there was a bit of an edge in the air. We said what a good job they'd done training him, and that he was probably a little confused by what was going on and wasn't sure who he was going home with. We deliberately didn't make a lot of fuss of him as we left.

We didn't hear anything more from them, which surprised me. They are the kind of people who if they stay with us, send a thank you message on their return home. On Tuesday I messaged, hoping that all is going well and saying something silly about missing my daily morning walk. They haven't responded, which isn't like them. We have a mutual friend and apparently they've said to her that we've spoiled him and now he's going to struggle to deal with their work routine (apparently he spends about six hours a day on his own) and their shorter walks.

I've known these people since university/ training days. I can't quite believe that something like this has blown up our friendship. What would you do?

Maybe they're feeling a bit jealous instead of being grateful there fur baby had a lovely holiday with people who helped them out of a difficult situation.
Ungrateful if you ask me .

Nikki75 · 09/03/2025 13:14

LetsTalkTwaddle · 07/03/2025 12:04

Friends of ours had the chance to take a big six-week holiday earlier this year. They booked a house-sitter to look after their place and their dog months in advance, only to be let down just before Christmas. They couldn't find a suitable replacement at short notice and couldn't bear to put their lovely young dog in kennels. They were on the verge of cancelling everything when we volunteered to have him stay with us. We'd been hoping to grab a week or two in Spain or north Africa in February, but their need seemed more pressing than our need for a break. We're experienced dog owners and we live in doggy heaven: our house backs onto miles of open common land and countryside, with hours of walking direct from our back gate.

The dog came and soon settled down. He absolutely loved his two or three walks each day. The weather was pretty good and he adored playing in the local river and streams. He was easy and obedient and a pleasure to be with. We both work from home and so he had company for much of the day. We followed all their rules — no balls, no human food, not allowed on furniture or upstairs — to the letter. Every few days we sent them pictures or short videos to show them what he was up to.

Last week, on their return, we took him back to the meet-up point halfway between out homes and handed him back. They seemed a little upset that he wasn't all over them. He was happy and waggy to see them, but not leaping around. We had lunch together and they kept mentioning that we'd spoiled him with such nice walks and more company than he was used to, and although they thanked us there was a bit of an edge in the air. We said what a good job they'd done training him, and that he was probably a little confused by what was going on and wasn't sure who he was going home with. We deliberately didn't make a lot of fuss of him as we left.

We didn't hear anything more from them, which surprised me. They are the kind of people who if they stay with us, send a thank you message on their return home. On Tuesday I messaged, hoping that all is going well and saying something silly about missing my daily morning walk. They haven't responded, which isn't like them. We have a mutual friend and apparently they've said to her that we've spoiled him and now he's going to struggle to deal with their work routine (apparently he spends about six hours a day on his own) and their shorter walks.

I've known these people since university/ training days. I can't quite believe that something like this has blown up our friendship. What would you do?

They were happy to leave there dog for 6 weeks anyways says a lot about them .

CameltoeParkerBowles · 09/03/2025 14:18

theJackofHearts · 07/03/2025 12:07

what a couple of ungrateful oiks.

This. Don't bother helping them out again. Clearly, they think you should have left Fido in a darkened room all day...

Elliebeli · 09/03/2025 15:25

theJackofHearts · 07/03/2025 12:07

what a couple of ungrateful oiks.

Exactly this.
these people were lucky to have someone to look after their dog for so long and so well.

i would be more than grateful if my dog was looked after like this. These people are crazy

LovelyHund · 09/03/2025 15:50

Do you fancy a GSP and his owner for a week? Sounds like you and ddog had a lovely time your friends are weirdos.

Normallynumb · 10/03/2025 06:35

How rude and ungrateful!!
You gave him a wonderful holiday and he was happy and settled with you.
If they'd paid a dog sitter, it would have cost them as much as their holiday again.
Even on reflection they realised their dog is left alone too much( which personally I think he is) that's a ridiculous reason to ignore you

abracadabra1980 · 10/03/2025 06:41

I can't believe people like this actually exist.
Selfish (leaving a young dog for an extended holiday in the first place), rude, jealous and bitter twats. Forget them, real friends do exist!

jennikr · 10/03/2025 13:48

I think I've read in several places that it only takes two weeks for a dog to shift into a new environment / family in general. Of course the dog would take time to get used to them.

They just sound jealous that their dog loved you, which is ridiculous, but perhaps they will get over it in a couple of weeks when the dog is back to normal and contact you again.

It sounds like the dog had a really wonderful time with you.

BruFord · 11/03/2025 13:16

@jennikr That’s interesting, because my family has talked about how our dog’s behaviour changed approx. two weeks after we brought him home from the shelter. For the first two weeks, he was hesitant about everything and was definitely getting his bearings with us, our house, his new routine- and then suddenly he seemed to relax and realize that we were his pack. He’s assumed his role as Top Dog in the household and has been bossing us around ever since. 🤣.
He does have some respect for DH, but I’m definitely his personal servant.

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