Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Looked after friend's dog as a favour: now in the doghouse

255 replies

LetsTalkTwaddle · 07/03/2025 12:04

Friends of ours had the chance to take a big six-week holiday earlier this year. They booked a house-sitter to look after their place and their dog months in advance, only to be let down just before Christmas. They couldn't find a suitable replacement at short notice and couldn't bear to put their lovely young dog in kennels. They were on the verge of cancelling everything when we volunteered to have him stay with us. We'd been hoping to grab a week or two in Spain or north Africa in February, but their need seemed more pressing than our need for a break. We're experienced dog owners and we live in doggy heaven: our house backs onto miles of open common land and countryside, with hours of walking direct from our back gate.

The dog came and soon settled down. He absolutely loved his two or three walks each day. The weather was pretty good and he adored playing in the local river and streams. He was easy and obedient and a pleasure to be with. We both work from home and so he had company for much of the day. We followed all their rules — no balls, no human food, not allowed on furniture or upstairs — to the letter. Every few days we sent them pictures or short videos to show them what he was up to.

Last week, on their return, we took him back to the meet-up point halfway between out homes and handed him back. They seemed a little upset that he wasn't all over them. He was happy and waggy to see them, but not leaping around. We had lunch together and they kept mentioning that we'd spoiled him with such nice walks and more company than he was used to, and although they thanked us there was a bit of an edge in the air. We said what a good job they'd done training him, and that he was probably a little confused by what was going on and wasn't sure who he was going home with. We deliberately didn't make a lot of fuss of him as we left.

We didn't hear anything more from them, which surprised me. They are the kind of people who if they stay with us, send a thank you message on their return home. On Tuesday I messaged, hoping that all is going well and saying something silly about missing my daily morning walk. They haven't responded, which isn't like them. We have a mutual friend and apparently they've said to her that we've spoiled him and now he's going to struggle to deal with their work routine (apparently he spends about six hours a day on his own) and their shorter walks.

I've known these people since university/ training days. I can't quite believe that something like this has blown up our friendship. What would you do?

OP posts:
Zeroperspective · 07/03/2025 15:27

theJackofHearts · 07/03/2025 12:07

what a couple of ungrateful oiks.

Love it when the first response nails it

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 07/03/2025 15:28

To me this is colossal C-F ingratitude! Don’t they realise how incredibly lucky they were to have anyone take care of their dog for 6 weeks??

Manchesterbythesea · 07/03/2025 15:33

Ungrateful fuckers. I would want nothing to do with them again.

ohtowinthelottery · 07/03/2025 15:35

Are you sure this is about the dog and not something else? They've presumably just spent 6 weeks solely in each other's company, which is totally different from their normal lifestyle, from the sound of it.
Maybe they didn't get on very well and are thinking of splitting up?

Maia77 · 07/03/2025 15:36

Looking after somebody's pet for 6 weeks is a big ask. They are so ungrateful. I suppose it's understandable for the situation to bring up certain feelings, but to accuse you and then cut contact is mental.

Swapsnamebriefly · 07/03/2025 15:42

LetsTalkTwaddle · 07/03/2025 14:15

Because some dogs can get obsessive about balls and when they have a ball in their mouth they don't stop and sniff and go searching for rabbits and doing doggy things they'd do naturally. Lots of dog-owners who've trained their dogs to need balls regret it down the line. Ball-throwing might mean owners don't have to walk so far to burn off their dog's steam, but it can sentence both dog and owner to a lifetime of ball-throwing.

I never took a ball out on walks with our lovely guest dog, but if he found an abandoned ball while we were out he changed. Instead of burning off energy running round using his nose and searching through undergrowth he'd walk beside me, worrying a little bit in case another dog came along and wanted it back.

That sounds like he should be allowed to play with balls from time to time. I think that practice of "no balls" sounds completely nuts.

Qwee · 07/03/2025 15:44

What lovely friends you are.
6 weeks, and actually deferred your own holiday.
Your kindness to be received with such petulant ignorance from them.
Absolutely uncouth.

AbitSceptical · 07/03/2025 15:50

theJackofHearts · 07/03/2025 12:07

what a couple of ungrateful oiks.

As so often on MN, the first answer nails it.

ladymammalade · 07/03/2025 15:50

Bloody hell. I'm staggered at your CF "friends" and their lack of gratitude! Have they any idea how lucky they were to have someone care for their dog so well, especially at the last minute? Even if they felt that you'd "spoiled" their dog, to behave like they have is unforgivable - they could have just thanked you profusely and whinged about it in private!

FWIW I'm a dog sitter, and I make sure every dog I care for has the best time. It wouldn't occur to me to give it crap walks because that's what it's used to!

ladymammalade · 07/03/2025 15:54

P.S if you love dogs and wfh you should try house/dog sitting - we love it. I can send you a discount code for trusted housesitters which is the app we use, if you fancy having a go.

SpringIsSpringing25 · 07/03/2025 16:05

MuchuseasaChocolateTeapot · 07/03/2025 13:25

Anyone else hoping they get back to you and offer for OP to keep the dog? Sounds like a perfect fit! They just sound jealous, people are weird .

no, you're not alone. We can but dream.

@LetsTalkTwaddle

dog nap him, it's the only solution!!

Bluenotgreen · 07/03/2025 16:13

A young energetic dog shouldn’t be left for six hours a day.

They should be ashamed.

ChiliFiend · 07/03/2025 16:17

Wow. If someone gave me dog a lovely holiday that was an improvement on her home life I would be so thankful.

RunningJo · 07/03/2025 16:19

ladymammalade · 07/03/2025 15:54

P.S if you love dogs and wfh you should try house/dog sitting - we love it. I can send you a discount code for trusted housesitters which is the app we use, if you fancy having a go.

Can you send me the info, not for boarding dogs but I’m looking for a dog sitter. Thanks 😊

IndiraCake · 07/03/2025 16:21

My mum was a bit like this when I looked after her dog. When I dropped him home he was really sad when I left and she was furious about it. Seems completely the wrong idea, like people who don't want their kids to feel close to the nanny.

FictionalCharacter · 07/03/2025 16:25

Trallers · 07/03/2025 12:25

So they're thinking that you looked after their dog better than they did to the point it likes you better than them and now they're sulking about it?

I'd be writing a message that you've not heard a peep from them but understand they've been gossiping about you, saying you've spoiled their dog and you are outraged. You followed their rules to the letter in order to respect their wishes and treat their beloved pet well. To have a problem with that which they won't say to you but will happily communicate to your friends to badmouth you is incredibly hurtful.

Edited

I’d have to say something too. I wouldn’t be able to carry on seeing them and pretend nothing has happened, after they’ve been so horribly ungrateful and gossiped about you on top of that.
I’d definitely have to reiterate that you followed their rules to the letter, and don’t appreciate them telling other people that you “spoiled” the dog.

BruFord · 07/03/2025 16:29

I only have experience with one dog, our current 11-year-old and he stays with another family when we go away. He gets on well with their dog and has a lovely time, so he's usually a bit off with us when we bring him home! He soon settles back into his normal routine, but an adjustment period is inevitable.

Your friends are daft and ungrateful, we pay our dog sitters (they charge us mates rates) - I'd be over the moon if someone offered to do it for free and gave him a wonderful time!

AngelicKaty · 07/03/2025 16:32

Tdp123 · 07/03/2025 13:06

Out of interest - why no balls?

He's been neutered? 😂

MadameCholetsDirtySecret · 07/03/2025 16:36

@LetsTalkTwaddle given the number of people who would love you to have their dogs whilst they are away, I think you could retire from your day job and start a business. Mumsnet's very own dog sitter!

SatsumaDog · 07/03/2025 16:38

The dog is likely depressed at having to go back to its old life and they are feeling guilty. It’s not acceptable to leave a dog for 6 hours a day. Perhaps they are starting to realise that.

Not your problem though op. You did them a huge favour. One I certainly wouldn’t bother repeating.

BruFord · 07/03/2025 16:42

SatsumaDog · 07/03/2025 16:38

The dog is likely depressed at having to go back to its old life and they are feeling guilty. It’s not acceptable to leave a dog for 6 hours a day. Perhaps they are starting to realise that.

Not your problem though op. You did them a huge favour. One I certainly wouldn’t bother repeating.

@SatsumaDog Yes, it usually only takes 24 hours for our dog to readjust to home life, because he soon remembers that he's Top Dog here. 😁

Kyokyo · 07/03/2025 16:44

But what did your friends expect ? You said they'd booked a house sitter and although a sitter might not home 100% of the time, they are paid to be at the house - so they wouldn't have been out of house all day, every day anyway. Even if the sitter hadn't of fallen through, it would be a similar situation.

If they didn't want the dog to have so much company, they should have booked it into kennels?

I think they are just guilty you looked after him so much better then they do. Sounds like they don't even have a dog walker to take him out for a proper walk during the middle of the day while they are at work?

MissDoubleU · 07/03/2025 16:45

You haven’t spoilt the dog but the dog clearly had a better quality of life with you. They can see that and it’s what is playing on them. This is making them feel guilty.

It’s not your fault at all. It’s 100% on them thst they feel this way, but I think it’s easier to make you the bad guys than to think their puppy has had a much happier life elsewhere and is perhaps quite sad now they’re home and that time has ended.

Swapsnamebriefly · 07/03/2025 16:55

I think some dog owners just automatically have in-built jealousy. I was sitting at an outdoor restaurant when a huge lab bounded over from its owners table and snuffled me and wanted petting (probably could smell my dog). The man was apologetic and I was like "absolutely no problem, he is delightful" and the woman gave me daggers for the rest of the meal! I mean serious daggers.

Trickedbyadoughnut · 07/03/2025 16:58

I would definitely be secretly a bit miffed if my dog preferred someone else than me BUT I would know that I'd be totally unreasonable and still be absolutely grateful and make that clear for the favour.

A couple used to look after our dogs sometimes and we made sure they had plenty of gifts for their dogs and various gifts for them as they'd never take any money. It is an absolute blessing to have someone kind and reliable who will petsit! And made going away so much nicer than the few times we used kennels.

Swipe left for the next trending thread