Looked after friend's dog as a favour: now in the doghouse

[LetsTalkTwaddle]

Friends of ours had the chance to take a big six-week holiday earlier this year. They booked a house-sitter to look after their place and their dog months in advance, only to be let down just before Christmas. They couldn't find a suitable replacement at short notice and couldn't bear to put their lovely young dog in kennels. They were on the verge of cancelling everything when we volunteered to have him stay with us. We'd been hoping to grab a week or two in Spain or north Africa in February, but their need seemed more pressing than our need for a break. We're experienced dog owners and we live in doggy heaven: our house backs onto miles of open common land and countryside, with hours of walking direct from our back gate.

The dog came and soon settled down. He absolutely loved his two or three walks each day. The weather was pretty good and he adored playing in the local river and streams. He was easy and obedient and a pleasure to be with. We both work from home and so he had company for much of the day. We followed all their rules — no balls, no human food, not allowed on furniture or upstairs — to the letter. Every few days we sent them pictures or short videos to show them what he was up to.

Last week, on their return, we took him back to the meet-up point halfway between out homes and handed him back. They seemed a little upset that he wasn't all over them. He was happy and waggy to see them, but not leaping around. We had lunch together and they kept mentioning that we'd spoiled him with such nice walks and more company than he was used to, and although they thanked us there was a bit of an edge in the air. We said what a good job they'd done training him, and that he was probably a little confused by what was going on and wasn't sure who he was going home with. We deliberately didn't make a lot of fuss of him as we left.

We didn't hear anything more from them, which surprised me. They are the kind of people who if they stay with us, send a thank you message on their return home. On Tuesday I messaged, hoping that all is going well and saying something silly about missing my daily morning walk. They haven't responded, which isn't like them. We have a mutual friend and apparently they've said to her that we've spoiled him and now he's going to struggle to deal with their work routine (apparently he spends about six hours a day on his own) and their shorter walks.

I've known these people since university/ training days. I can't quite believe that something like this has blown up our friendship. What would you do?

You've done absolutely nothing wrong @LetsTalkTwaddle except highlight to your friends that they're not the best owners for a dog. Loads of people think a dog will be fine on it's own for hours and that's what the dog was used to, then you took it for six weeks and gave it a much nicer time, lovely long walks and company all day, that's doggy heaven. I'm afraid your friends are having a nasty case of sour grapes, they'll get over it hopefully

That is absolutely ridiculous.
What else did they expect? They knew where he was going and what your set up was. They also knew that 6 weeks is a long time and animals get used to a new situation in that time and will then need to get used to the original situation and routine again when they go home.
If they'd had the housesitter as originally planned they'd have had the same issues because the dog would become accustomed to the housesitters' routine.
If they didn't want this to happen they shouldn't have booked a holiday for 6 weeks.

I have cats and the longest I can be away is 3 weeks. They have lovely sitters who come in twice a day. They get more treats than they do from me just because the sitters "can't resist" their plaintive cries and sweet faces begging for treats. One of them gets groomed for over an hour a day by one of the sitters because "she won't let me leave and makes a fuss when I stop grooming her".
So when I come back they tend to be in a bit of a hump with me and they are a bit of a pain demanding treats, but so what, in a few days it's all back to normal.

I'd be really annoyed with those friends. You did them a massive favour and instead of being massively thankful they are just moaning. I wouldn't be putting myself out for them again.

Nailed it

OMG how precious of them. My two ADORE my dog walker and always try to get back into her car. I am not upset about it, I am glad they have a nice time. They are ungrateful and stupid and may come back with their tail between their legs (sorry for the pun) once they realise the cost of paying someone.

Oh no. How dare you spoil their poor ickle fur baby with nice walks and all the attention he could wish for and give him a nice home for 6 weeks!

They are being absolutely pathetic!

I would just send them one more message telling them that you didn’t have to volunteer to have their dog and you could have just let them cancel their holiday instead and thank them for their ungratefulness but they have just lost a good friend! Then just block them on everything and stay out of their life.
I honestly couldn’t be arsed with such childishness!

Sounds like Mr Udell in As Good As it Gets when the neighbours dog takes a shine to him (or the bacon he has)

It’s normal for an animal to transfer its affections to the people who feed it! FFS

They're upset because the dog seems to love you as much as them. He wasn't too bothered about seeing them again and it made them sad. You did a lovely thing and that dog thinks your place is heaven. I'm sure they'll message you soon. If they don't, then it's sad, but they're not nice people.

I had something similar

A friend of mine used to ask us to have her dog one week a year

We love him to bits,but he's untrained,still has his bollocks (nobody has offered to pay for him to be 'done') fed a diet of pure sugar/salt (he maybe gets a tin of dog food once a week-its all cakes,sweets,milkshakes,chips,crisps and other crap)

He came to stay last year,and she did mention at drop off,she'd seen a harness that she liked the look of in a posh pet shop,not far from my work

She fucked off,came back and when I dropped him off,she gave me a filthy look, snatched the dog off me and walked off-no 'thank you','no kiss my arse',she just walked off

I heard later,on the grapevine that she had expected me to pay upwards of £60 for the harness and a new lead!

I work almost full time,dp full time and she lost her job (but could still afford go away) and was on uc (not a benefit dig)and she went round saying we could have treated him as we are 'loaded' (we're not) and that I 'treat ds's dog to bits all the time' (not true,he messages me to ask me to buy whatever,then sends me the money as it saves him time and for some reason,some brands are not stocked in his local pet shop)

And even if I did buy endless crap for ds's dog,it's my money to spend,not hers

She was also pissed off that we'd walked him everyday,done some basic training,gave him 2 tins of dog food a day (at my own expense but hadnt fed him unlimited sugary crap all week),we gave him water instead of milkshakes and had bathed him (as he bloody stank-it made my eyes water)

She can go whistle if she thinks I'm doing it again next year

Shame as he's a lovely dog,but I'm doing her the favour,not the other way round and she's shot herself in the foot-nobody else will have him

I haven't read all the posts but am I the only one who might be tempted to be a bit passive/aggressive and send a message along the lines of:

"Thank you so much for the very generous Fortnum & Mason hamper! You really didn't haven't to do that but it's very much appreciated ".

I know OP has made it plain that this isn't about money in the least, but I'd still feel tempted to needle them a bit. Then they'd be wondering about the hamper, knowing they hadn't sent it but would they admit it?

Childish, I know.

They’re mad, my dog went to our lovely dog-sitters for 3 weeks and when she first saw me after we returned she couldn’t have cared less! The next day she was fine and back to normal and loved me the most!

I did not know that!

I'd have assumed that 'no balls' was one of the directives created just purely to make people feel bad for doing the standard thing. See also: no sticks, no bones, no bread for ducks/swans.

Or, that he'd had his bollocks off, I suppose.

Or they feel bad about leaving the dog for six hours a day but are projecting that on you?

It's this I reckon. They know really inside that they are poor dog owners but could ignore it, until you've really shown them up. And they don't like that feeling, having to acknowledge that they are not treating the dog well, 6 hours alone is awful.

Fuck em, I'd say. Anyone who doesn't look after their dog well, ain't my kind of people.

I sat with our daft dogs and thought about your thread while eating my lunch. How did you manage to not have the dog on your couch?!

"apparently he spends about six hours a day on his own"

They shouldn't have a dog.

Obvs meant £250-400 a week, although I am sure I read about a luxury doggy hotel, complete with sofas in the ‘rooms’ that probably costs in the £4000 region!! 🤦🏽‍♀️

That poor dog 🙁 you showed him what a wonderful life he could have, now he’s likely back alone during the day, looking out of a window (if he’s lucky). Breaks my heart.

WTAF.

You sound delightful and i think you may have missed your vocation in life. I know i would walk over broken glass for my two dogs to stay with someone like you. Its everything i could wish for. Someone who listens to my requests, loves the dogs and gives them all the love and attention they want.

Your friend is a barmpot

I mean, my lot used to sulk for days after being in (fabulous) kennels, but I was delighted they were safe and very well looked after by the owner. I'd be over the moon if someone would take them for 6 weeks, that's forever! If they are upset because he had a great time, then why did they leave him? Not sure I could leave mine for that long. They are being horribly ungrateful if that's the case.

We looked after my BiL's dog (a young Labrador) in similar circumstances, when he went away for 8 weeks. Poor thing growled at him when he returned - it didn't know who he was and was perfectly happy with us.

Agree… we love our dogs too much to leave them for more than two weeks. If you have adopted a dog, going away for 6 weeks without them seems bloody cruel. You’d not dump your kids for 6 weeks, would you?

But I confess to being dog mad, so my opinion is biased and a little unhinged on this issue!!

What weird people. They sound like the kind of people who become parents who will make out like their lives have ended when their 2 year old says, "I don't want you, I want Grandma!" for the first time.

You're better off out of it.

You were good enough to help them out and their dog was well cared for and happy whilst they were away and for that they should be grateful. Instead they're sulking because their dog enjoyed your routine more than theirs. Surely they should be working on giving their dog more exercise and attention since he's made it clear he's much happier for it?

This is on the owners, they are been incredibly ungrateful and narrow minded. Ok, so their dog may have had a good as time as them (better maybe) and that should be making them happy, not jealous. Did they want their dog to be miserable the whole time they were away?

Who knew dog jealousy was a thing? You did a better job than them and they don’t like it. If they were sensible they would appreciate your kindness as maybe you could help again. I bet the dog would come back for a holiday given the chance!