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The doghouse

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Looked after friend's dog as a favour: now in the doghouse

255 replies

LetsTalkTwaddle · 07/03/2025 12:04

Friends of ours had the chance to take a big six-week holiday earlier this year. They booked a house-sitter to look after their place and their dog months in advance, only to be let down just before Christmas. They couldn't find a suitable replacement at short notice and couldn't bear to put their lovely young dog in kennels. They were on the verge of cancelling everything when we volunteered to have him stay with us. We'd been hoping to grab a week or two in Spain or north Africa in February, but their need seemed more pressing than our need for a break. We're experienced dog owners and we live in doggy heaven: our house backs onto miles of open common land and countryside, with hours of walking direct from our back gate.

The dog came and soon settled down. He absolutely loved his two or three walks each day. The weather was pretty good and he adored playing in the local river and streams. He was easy and obedient and a pleasure to be with. We both work from home and so he had company for much of the day. We followed all their rules — no balls, no human food, not allowed on furniture or upstairs — to the letter. Every few days we sent them pictures or short videos to show them what he was up to.

Last week, on their return, we took him back to the meet-up point halfway between out homes and handed him back. They seemed a little upset that he wasn't all over them. He was happy and waggy to see them, but not leaping around. We had lunch together and they kept mentioning that we'd spoiled him with such nice walks and more company than he was used to, and although they thanked us there was a bit of an edge in the air. We said what a good job they'd done training him, and that he was probably a little confused by what was going on and wasn't sure who he was going home with. We deliberately didn't make a lot of fuss of him as we left.

We didn't hear anything more from them, which surprised me. They are the kind of people who if they stay with us, send a thank you message on their return home. On Tuesday I messaged, hoping that all is going well and saying something silly about missing my daily morning walk. They haven't responded, which isn't like them. We have a mutual friend and apparently they've said to her that we've spoiled him and now he's going to struggle to deal with their work routine (apparently he spends about six hours a day on his own) and their shorter walks.

I've known these people since university/ training days. I can't quite believe that something like this has blown up our friendship. What would you do?

OP posts:
theJackofHearts · 07/03/2025 12:07

what a couple of ungrateful oiks.

Planetmonster · 07/03/2025 12:09

They sound mad. What were you supposed to do? Lock the dog up?

tho maybe they have felt resentful of you for a while and this is an excuse to show it ? Or they feel bad about leaving the dog for six hours a day but are projecting that on you? Deffo a them issue.

I would ignore them for a bit and give them the chance to get other it but they’d be on double secret probation and any other shit behaviour would get them put in the bin

.

purplecorkheart · 07/03/2025 12:10

How rude of them. You did them a massive favor. Surely they knew you both work from home and that you have a nice walking area nearby.

Gundogday · 07/03/2025 12:11

theJackofHearts · 07/03/2025 12:07

what a couple of ungrateful oiks.

Yep!

It’s bound to take a little while for the dog to settle back in his new (old) routine, and who leaves a dog for six hours a day?

Maybe they’re slightly jealous of the life you were able to give the dog.

MimiGC · 07/03/2025 12:11

If they don't contact you shortly to thank you profusely, I'd be tempted to send them a whopping great invoice for 6 weeks care!
Not really, but I'd want to. I wouldn't contact them again, let them contact you.

Winterjoy · 07/03/2025 12:13

Sounds like their lifestyle isn't really suitable for a dog (hours out of the house each day, no time for long walks, wanting flexibility to take extended trips etc) and they know they've made a poor decision but its easier to project that onto you.

I don't know what you can do tbh

Winterjoy · 07/03/2025 12:14

Poor dog as well - now knowing what it could have and instead having to sit alone in a house all day.

Nellienooiloveyou · 07/03/2025 12:15

Omg how ungrateful. I cam only dream of having a friend like you!

KidsDoBetter · 07/03/2025 12:18

£30 a night x 6 weeks. That will pay for a lovely holiday and is what my dog walker charges for overnights.

Ungrateful sods. Honestly. That’s defies belief. Dog clearly had time of his life.

KidsDoBetter · 07/03/2025 12:19

Did they pay you or give you a large gift??

BourbonsAreOverated · 07/03/2025 12:20

What twats.
I’ve looked after friends animals before and they always jokingly moan I’ve spoilt them and the animal is sulking.
i take that as a good thing, it means I’ve done my job.

honestly they should be grateful you saved their skin and looked after their dog so well.
only thing I can think of is they know it’s not ideal for dog ownership and can see the difference in their dog now he’s experienced the good life.

LetsTalkTwaddle · 07/03/2025 12:23

purplecorkheart · 07/03/2025 12:10

How rude of them. You did them a massive favor. Surely they knew you both work from home and that you have a nice walking area nearby.

Yes, they've stayed with us for a few days most years since we moved here. They've always enjoyed going walking with our dogs in the past. They knew exactly where he was coming to and what sort of life he'd have a for a few weeks. It's bonkers, isn't it? My DP has suggested that they may not have had the best time on their holiday and that they're just using the dog as a way of venting frustration, but we just don't know. I've known them for getting on for 30 years and I'm stunned. And at the same time I can see that if the situation was reversed, I might be feeling a bite sore that I wasn't able to give my dog all the attention and exercise that other people could offer. I don't know. It feels as if we tried to do something kind and it's gone badly wrong.

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 07/03/2025 12:23

purplecorkheart · 07/03/2025 12:10

How rude of them. You did them a massive favor. Surely they knew you both work from home and that you have a nice walking area nearby.

Quite so.

They had a lovely 6 week holiday, so did their dog. It's probably a bit like schools find when kids go back to school after the summer hols.

Trallers · 07/03/2025 12:25

So they're thinking that you looked after their dog better than they did to the point it likes you better than them and now they're sulking about it?

I'd be writing a message that you've not heard a peep from them but understand they've been gossiping about you, saying you've spoiled their dog and you are outraged. You followed their rules to the letter in order to respect their wishes and treat their beloved pet well. To have a problem with that which they won't say to you but will happily communicate to your friends to badmouth you is incredibly hurtful.

REP22 · 07/03/2025 12:27

They sound like unpleasant people.

You did absolutely nothing wrong @LetsTalkTwaddle - in fact, you stepped in and did a marvellous job. The dog - and his ungrateful, graceless owners - were very, very lucky to have had your time and your help.

LetsTalkTwaddle · 07/03/2025 12:28

KidsDoBetter · 07/03/2025 12:19

Did they pay you or give you a large gift??

There was a bottle of duty-free gin for us — but that's beside the point, really. He's a lovely dog and we enjoyed having him here and were pleased we were able to give him a good holiday. He got us out of the house and enjoying the winter days which was reward enough in itself. Seeing him have such fun trying to chase rabbits and mucking about in the streams was a real tonic at what is often a difficult time of year.

OP posts:
RachelLikesTea · 07/03/2025 12:29

'We had lunch together and they kept mentioning that we'd spoiled him with such nice walks and more company than he was used to, and although they thanked us there was a bit of an edge in the air.'

They sound extremely ill-mannered, selfish and ungrateful. I mean, they really do sound awful.

What to do? Personally, I wouldn't contact them again but I wouldn't block their contact details either (out of curiosity to see if they do reach out eventually so that I could then decide how to respond). But I would absolutely not be able to continue the friendship.

Nellienooiloveyou · 07/03/2025 12:31

LetsTalkTwaddle · 07/03/2025 12:23

Yes, they've stayed with us for a few days most years since we moved here. They've always enjoyed going walking with our dogs in the past. They knew exactly where he was coming to and what sort of life he'd have a for a few weeks. It's bonkers, isn't it? My DP has suggested that they may not have had the best time on their holiday and that they're just using the dog as a way of venting frustration, but we just don't know. I've known them for getting on for 30 years and I'm stunned. And at the same time I can see that if the situation was reversed, I might be feeling a bite sore that I wasn't able to give my dog all the attention and exercise that other people could offer. I don't know. It feels as if we tried to do something kind and it's gone badly wrong.

It sounds like you’ve inadvertently held up a mirror to them about how they have been looking after their dog, and they are sore about it.

if that was a friend of mine of 30 years id just call and say ffs whats going on!

SirChenjins · 07/03/2025 12:33

They sound utterly bonkers, but I wonder if they are not secretly quite envious of your life and between that, the come-down after a fantastic holiday and a return to a normal working life, and the knowledge that they can't give him the kind of life he had with you is making them behave like complete pillocks? What a shame this has happened to your long friendship - as the saying goes sadly, no good deed goes unpunished.

LetsTalkTwaddle · 07/03/2025 12:34

KidsDoBetter · 07/03/2025 12:18

£30 a night x 6 weeks. That will pay for a lovely holiday and is what my dog walker charges for overnights.

Ungrateful sods. Honestly. That’s defies belief. Dog clearly had time of his life.

Wow. I had no idea. This isn't about money, we wouldn't have taken a penny anyway, but it puts things into perspective. If he's been a PITA type of dog we might have felt differently, but he was an absolute darling. One of the saddest things to contemplate is that if we do fall out with his owners we may never see him again.

OP posts:
LandSharksAnonymous · 07/03/2025 12:37

'that he was probably a little confused by what was going on and wasn't sure who he was going home with'

To be fair, they may well have taken that as a dig in a 'you abandoned your dog now he doesn't know who you are,' type way - particularly if their dog wasn't all over them and they know full well that they're pretty poor dog owners.

Unfortunately for them, you've shone a light on why so many people manage to convince themselves their dog is 'happy' being left alone for hours when, in truth, it might be okay but you can be damn well sure it would be happier with family at home. I feel quite sorry for the dog tbh - they must know they're failing it and yet their own selfishness and inadequacy has made them blame you.

Glitchymn1 · 07/03/2025 12:37

They’re jealous, ungrateful swines.

thenightsky · 07/03/2025 12:37

One of the saddest things to contemplate is that if we do fall out with his owners we may never see him again

I think you might... When they start planning their next holiday and see how much kennels cost. Hmm

LuckySantangelo35 · 07/03/2025 12:40

They sound utterly pathetic

SuperTrooper14 · 07/03/2025 12:41

Ugh, they sound like our neighbours who were happy to have us dog-sit for them so they could go abroad but then complained to a friend of mine that we had spoiled him and he was a nightmare because of it. This is a dog they leave alone for sometimes up to 10 hours because of work and who we took for hour-long walks twice a day and treated like a member of the family instead of a guard dog. Needless to say, we now refuse when they ask.