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The doghouse

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Looked after friend's dog as a favour: now in the doghouse

255 replies

LetsTalkTwaddle · 07/03/2025 12:04

Friends of ours had the chance to take a big six-week holiday earlier this year. They booked a house-sitter to look after their place and their dog months in advance, only to be let down just before Christmas. They couldn't find a suitable replacement at short notice and couldn't bear to put their lovely young dog in kennels. They were on the verge of cancelling everything when we volunteered to have him stay with us. We'd been hoping to grab a week or two in Spain or north Africa in February, but their need seemed more pressing than our need for a break. We're experienced dog owners and we live in doggy heaven: our house backs onto miles of open common land and countryside, with hours of walking direct from our back gate.

The dog came and soon settled down. He absolutely loved his two or three walks each day. The weather was pretty good and he adored playing in the local river and streams. He was easy and obedient and a pleasure to be with. We both work from home and so he had company for much of the day. We followed all their rules — no balls, no human food, not allowed on furniture or upstairs — to the letter. Every few days we sent them pictures or short videos to show them what he was up to.

Last week, on their return, we took him back to the meet-up point halfway between out homes and handed him back. They seemed a little upset that he wasn't all over them. He was happy and waggy to see them, but not leaping around. We had lunch together and they kept mentioning that we'd spoiled him with such nice walks and more company than he was used to, and although they thanked us there was a bit of an edge in the air. We said what a good job they'd done training him, and that he was probably a little confused by what was going on and wasn't sure who he was going home with. We deliberately didn't make a lot of fuss of him as we left.

We didn't hear anything more from them, which surprised me. They are the kind of people who if they stay with us, send a thank you message on their return home. On Tuesday I messaged, hoping that all is going well and saying something silly about missing my daily morning walk. They haven't responded, which isn't like them. We have a mutual friend and apparently they've said to her that we've spoiled him and now he's going to struggle to deal with their work routine (apparently he spends about six hours a day on his own) and their shorter walks.

I've known these people since university/ training days. I can't quite believe that something like this has blown up our friendship. What would you do?

OP posts:
honeylulu · 07/03/2025 13:28

How rude and ungrateful of them.

The dog meanwhile sounds nice! Poor thing though being shut up alone for 6 hours a day.

moose62 · 07/03/2025 13:29

They are probably just jealous that your dog was obviously happy with youand not pining for them. You can also offer the dog more than they can. My dog walker charges £45 for boarding dogs....so you saved them £1,890....they should show their gratitude.

CautiousLurker01 · 07/03/2025 13:30

LetsTalkTwaddle · 07/03/2025 12:34

Wow. I had no idea. This isn't about money, we wouldn't have taken a penny anyway, but it puts things into perspective. If he's been a PITA type of dog we might have felt differently, but he was an absolute darling. One of the saddest things to contemplate is that if we do fall out with his owners we may never see him again.

Our dogsitter charges north of £40 a day, and kennels are £250-4000 a week around here (and fully booked 12m in advance). You’ve likely saved them £2 -2500 and their dog was in heaven, not a kennel cubicle.

They are being deeply ungrateful but, as many suggest, probably realise now that they need to do more with their dog.

We actually book our sitter to walk both of ours twice weekly on group dog walks to ENSURE they feel loved and safe with them when they holiday sit and so that we know they are comfortable with their other doggy clients. It costs us £200pcm, plus the £800 house/dog sitting fee. We’d pay double to ensure they are with a couple who love them almost as much as we do - and that our dogs know it. Couldn’t be more grateful that they are so excited whenever our sitter’s car pulls into the drive. It’s about the dogs, not us.

tinseltitss · 07/03/2025 13:34

No dog should be alone for 6 hours each day, whats the point in even having a dog?

Reginald123 · 07/03/2025 13:36

I had to pay for my dog to stay at a farm for 8 weeks while I had surgery. The day arrived for his return home and on arrival with the dog sitter ( or in his eyes his new mum) he took one look at my home and tried to leave to go off on his holidays again back at the farm.

I took it in good part as it was certainly evidence that he had had a great time whilst I was bed ridden. I suspect your friends are suffering as their dog is making it clear that he wants to return to you but, in my view, that's incredibly self centred and selfish of them.

Also, my dog would love to come and stay at yours if you offer six week holidays ? I suspect he would not want to come back with the walks you could offer him!

oakleaffy · 07/03/2025 13:37

MuchuseasaChocolateTeapot · 07/03/2025 13:25

Anyone else hoping they get back to you and offer for OP to keep the dog? Sounds like a perfect fit! They just sound jealous, people are weird .

I know my boutique dog sitting friend adores one of his client’s dogs
She’s a delightful dog- He hopes they may give her up 😂 as she’s so well suited to him.

She loves constant company as many dogs do.

StarStay · 07/03/2025 13:37

Ha! They're sulking that they just saved 1k and their dog had a great time and was treated well over 6 weeks? They're idiots OP honestly

Cattery · 07/03/2025 13:37

Fuck em. Pair of loons.

EnjoythemoneyJane · 07/03/2025 13:39

LetsTalkTwaddle · 07/03/2025 13:24

Whew! I wonder whether there are lots of dogs who have a more interesting life when being looked after by other people than they do at home? So many Covid dogs who started life surrounded by people but are now left alone for hours.

The more I think about it, the more I think those who've suggested that perhaps our friends are feeling uncomfortable that he's left alone so much are probably on the right track.

Was just about to say the same - it seems quite obvious that their snippiness is borne out of guilt - and guilty feelings are very uncomfortable. Much easier to persuade yourself that you’ve been somehow wronged and are therefore not at fault.

They know fine well that their dog has had a much better, happier life over the 6 weeks he’s been with you. But it’s much easier to be defensive and find ways to blame you for ‘spoiling’ their dog (i.e. giving him the kind of life all dogs need and should have) than to acknowledge that they’re shitty owners.

I don’t believe anybody who intends to leave an intelligent, sociable pack animal alone for the majority of its life should be allowed to have one. Probably an unpopular opinion, though.

isthesolution · 07/03/2025 13:39

They are jealous. Their dog likes you more. And he has a happier life with you so they feel guilty.

Ignore them! You've done them a huge favour and they should b very grateful!

SpotlessLeopard · 07/03/2025 13:39

It sounds like you gave their dog a lovely holiday whilst they were also off enjoying themselves.
I think they were probably very excited to leave the dog and didn't really think through that they were leaving him a long time.
Hopefully after a good long think they'll realise they are being silly.

verycloakanddaggers · 07/03/2025 13:40

LetsTalkTwaddle · 07/03/2025 12:43

Oh no! I bet the poor dog looked forward to being looked after by you. For the dog's sake, would you rethink?

Dogs don't look forward!

BlackStrayCat · 07/03/2025 13:40

My friend runs a very successful business doing this. Same kind of set up you have home wise.

They owe you well over 1,300 pounds. I assume they paid for food. (I know you dont want money but thats not the point - THEY WILL KNOW)
A bottle of Gin and a shitty attitude is beyond words.

lazymum99 · 07/03/2025 13:41

Your house and environs sound like doggy heaven. I’d leave my dog with you in an instant. 6 weeks dog boarding with my dog walker would cost me >£1500

Chuchoter · 07/03/2025 13:41

How ridiculous. The dog was given the best care and had no need to be all over them upon their return because he was not anxious.

Vile people, never have anything to do with them again.

PleaseDontFingerMyPouffe · 07/03/2025 13:43

What did they expect abandoning their dog for 6 weeks??

They've been incredibly rude and there's no way I'd allow a friend to look after my pet for half that duration without a generous gift or remuneration.

Ignore them - they need to get over themselves.

MyDeftDuck · 07/03/2025 13:43

You offered help to get them out of a mess, you stepped up so they could still go on their holiday...........and now they blame you for their dog having the kind of care - multiple walks, fresh air, company - that they don't feel fit to provide????? They shouldn't be keeping a dog. You did nothing wrong.

HangingOver · 07/03/2025 13:44

People are fucking mad aren't they

Fibrous · 07/03/2025 13:44

I thought you were going to say the daily roast beef dinners had made their dog fat or something. I can't believe they are complaining about company and walks. Where do you live? Can you take my dogs? I have two lovely greyhounds! 😀

However, having said that, I could never leave my dogs for six weeks. Six days is about the limit.

Allthegoodhorses · 07/03/2025 13:45

I seem to be saying this phrase very often recently: "no good deed goes unpunished".

Awful for you OP, I had a very similar situation. It still grates. People are so ungrateful and selfish these days.

AreYouShittingMe · 07/03/2025 13:45

How strange on many levels. My DDog goes to a wonderful dog sitter when we go on holiday- she has a much better time there than at home (lots of walks in wonderful places etc).
I'm so glad my dog is able to go somewhere where she can have as much fun as we do on holiday.

YourHappyJadeEagle · 07/03/2025 13:46

What a pathetic pair —- they had over a thousand pounds worth of free dog care, their dog had 5* accommodation and care and they’re sulking because he didn’t bounce all over them when they got back. And they gave you ONE bottle of duty free???? Friends you can do without I think.

Shitmonger · 07/03/2025 13:46

Ha! They’ve discovered the hard way what experienced dog owners already know: that dogs generally are not loyal, they simply want the best deal they can get! Shameless sods, every last one. 😂

Just to warn you, OP, if you do meet them with the dog he will simply piss them off again by reacting to you like you’re his owner that they’ve been keeping him from. He’ll give you the welcome that they were hoping for, with the leaping about and whining and whatnot.

My own current dog acted like this with a friend of mine that liked to watch her for me. This friend had no rules whatsoever and let her get away with murder, so of course she’d rather be there! I started kenneling her instead because as much as I love my friend, I didn’t love dealing with my dog’s rotten behaviour and sulks for two months when she had to return home to her rules and routine. Grin

Twiglets1 · 07/03/2025 13:47

Extremely rude of them.

I’m always very grateful to people who look after our dogs and I normally have to pay them! This would really make me reassess them as nice people tbh.

Dandeliontea123 · 07/03/2025 13:50

Their priorities are all wrong.

It's such a shame for the dog who clearly had a lovely happy time with you.

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