Considering euthanising dog after bite

[Dogheartbreak]

I feel so sick with the weight of this on my mind.
5 years ago, we rescued a dog from a UK charity that brings dogs from abroad. I am an experienced dog owner and wanted to save this dog's life. I have had rescue dogs before.
This dog was/is very nervous and reactive. I have worked with a behaviourist and the vet to improve the dogs quality of life and the improvements have been vast. But he's still a nervous dog and be off lead or anything out and about. I was happy that he loved his life with me, he was well cared for and happy and I would provide a safe and control environment for him to live out his days, walking when it's quieter and using secure fields etc.
I was told when I was younger I couldn't have children. Fast forward to one year after having the dog and I was pregnant. I've since had 2 kids and every precaution and loads of training went into prepping the dog. All was fine and obviously dog and kids never alone or anything. Easier when they were babies as they'd always be in our arms or if on the playmat we would be right there and the dog wasn't interested and has never approached one of the kids. Now they are toddlers and this is becoming so much harder to manage. The dog is visibly anxious if kids are in the same room so we separate and he ends up being in another room alone for hours which is obviously awful. We teach the kids how to behave but obviously they are toddlers and unpredictable, youngest in particular just wants to get to the dog whenever he can see him.
The other day, he was running through the kitchen to go outside and my 1yo reached out from his highchair and grabbed fur on the dogs back. He turned and bit his arm. Thankfully no major damage but had teeth marks and it could have so much worse. I took baby to drs obviously. We are incredibly vigilant but I am now terrified of a gate being left open, or eventually kids being able to open the gate or whatever and something happening.
He's very scared and aggressive towards strangers and I feel that if we weren't so vigilant with gates and the muzzle that he would have bitten someone else by now and could do again.
Obviously controlling the environment to this extent with 2 toddlers around is so hard. With the kids we also have more visitors to the house etc which stress the dog. I can't have the dog on a lead in the house as my kids are always all over me so if we have visitors the dog goes in his dog house in the garden (outside office with sofa and heating etc. he seems happy in there but I don't like doing it for more than an hour).
I feel like I can't have him in the house now this has happened. The rescue offer back up but I've seen them publicly shame people on their Facebook page that have done this. I also think they'll re-home the dog without disclosing the bite history and I could never forgive myself if he bit someone else, or worse
Also the thought of him having to be put down in a strange place. Or if the biting would mean he'd end up in a kennel for the rest of his days.
Please be kind. What can do. I love him so much but can't risk my children.

If your dog is a street dog you could send him back from whence he came and set him free. We have two rescues…. honestly, they are a pita. I always get dog envy at people’s well behaved dogs.

I'm sure people will be absolutely falling over themselves to adopt an adult dog that despite 5 years of training and behavioural support:
Cannot be let off the lead
Needs to be muzzled
Cannot be around children
Cannot be around other dogs
Can barely tolerate guests in the home and guests must be warned not to look at or touch the dog
Has bitten
Oh and of course will be traumatised from being rehomed.

Saying this as a dog lover and owner, you should try re homing the dog to a new home without kids, you've tried your best but it's not safe to have this dog around your kids and not fair on the dog to always be shut away or tied up

I think it's very easy for people to recommend rehoming but realistically you have a dog that is always stressed and doesn't do well with strangers. That is a dog that will do very badly in kennels. I'd speak to your vet but I'd say that if you decide the dog cannot stay with you (which I completely understand) I'd say the kind thing would be to PTS.

I am so sorry you’re going through this. Our last dog was a one-eyed rescue with a brain injury. We loved him so much, but after a year, he started biting people if they surprised him. We went to multiple trainers and vets and he was deemed untrainable and mostly blind, with one saying we could never have children as long as we had the dog. Fast forward a few years and we find out I’m pregnant. My whole pregnancy, we were determined to make it work, but a week before I went into labour, he attacked his groomer. He bit her and would not let go, and she had to get stitches. That forced our hand. We desperately tried to rehome him through his original rescue and several others, including some who rehabilitate dogs with a bite history, but they were either full or said they’d likely just euthanise him. We found an angel of a trainer who fostered him and attempted to rehabilitate him for 10 weeks, but they concluded the same. He was untrainable and the poor thing was living in a constant state of fight or flight. She recommended euthanasia, which we struggled with but finally decided was the most humane option. We miss him so deeply, but ultimately, you have to do what is best for your children.

It’s a horrible position to be put in and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I would first look to see if there are any rescues around who offer a rehabilitation and rehoming program and, if not, speak with your vet about the kindest next steps. Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk about it more.

The well behaved dogs are thus because their owners aren't lazy arsed twunts, and could actually be arsed training them.

How would such a 'contract' be enforced? How would the rescue organisation even know whether the dog had been euthanised, and what could they do if they found out?

It can be challenging to find a decent trainer. That said, the majority of owners who surrender their dogs haven't given them any training whatsoever (even the ones who claim they've did so exhaustively).

No decent dog trainer would advise you to isolate a poorly socialised dog, they'd tell you to do the opposite. So either the OP (whose dog spends its life in isolation!) had very poor training advice, or shes ignored the advice given.

There's another PP saying her dog (a dog with established anxiety) bit its groomer; like having the dog muzzled for its groom wasn't a glaringly obvious thing to do! Groomers very often muzzle nervous dogs, its an incredibly common requirement; this chat is flooded with examples of bad owners, rather than bad dogs.

Anyone who has surrendered a dog to a rescue because of behavioural issues with the dog should accept their limitations, and not have a dog again. Its not fair - its cruel, actually.

Your attitude is quite saddening.

You chose to do a lovely thing by rescuing, yet your attitude to the 2 dogs in front of you is shocking.

I 'wanted' my now 12 year old rescue to be an agility dog, I have a lot of friends who do it & I would loved to have been a part of it with my own dog, but she wasn't suitable- she isn't good with other dogs & isn't much of a fan of people either.

She was tricky to train (looks like a collie, has no actual collie in her mix), despite her intelligence, & was a horror as an adolescent.

But I love the absolute bones of her, she is there for me like no human ever has been, my comrade, best mate & partner in crime.

She has a chronic health condition that means we may have weeks, months, maybe a couple of years left with her.

And the thought of life without her fills me with deep sorrow.

@MillarMountVandal I haven’t read the full thread in case this is regarding a similar experience but, if your comment about the groomer bite was about my post, he was muzzled every time he went to the groomer and they had notes about his behaviour. We have absolutely no idea why he wasn’t on this occasion (a whole separate issue). As owners, we did everything we possibly could to help our dog, as it sounds like the OP is trying to do.

Re-home your dog.
I admit I used to have a dog when my children were little & he bit one similar situation. It didn't happen again so I'm very glad I wouldn't have followed advice from some posters & had him PTS.
Go back to the rescue & explain what has happened, there's no reason to think they'll not finish him a more suitable environment.

@MillarMountVandal my dog doesn't live in isolation. We have gently and carefully been increasing exposure to people and dogs, with great success. I've just got back from a great walk with him where several people walked right past us and another dog was barking at him and he didn't flinch. This is amazing progress for him. But if we know the situation might cause him to react (for example a stranger coming into the house) then we do put him out so that isn't forced into feeling terrified and displaying dangerous behaviour. Sometimes it's better to remove the dog from the stress.
We have spent the last 3 years carefully managing the dog with the children. But I don't know how you train a nervous dog to not be nervous around extremely loud and unpredictable creatures such as toddlers.
He also enjoys runs in a secure field several times a week with dogs that he knows that we carefully introduced him to. We have done everything we can to socialise him.

If my kids are the same room they want to brush him, hug him, make him a cup of tea, put his ears in a ponytail. I tell them not to touch and they don't but it's so easy for a toddler to stand on his tail, what if I turn my back for one second and they've jumped on him or something. I have to put him behind a baby gate in another room to ensure nothing happens, it's not a risk I'm willing to take.

Make YOUR life easier OP

life is too short

I think most people probably put their dog in another room when a stranger is coming inside their house. I always do.

If your dog has been around small children for 3 years without incident (and not, as you're now saying, being kept isolated at home), then ending his life is beyond extreme.

Lots of rescues will rehome surrendered dogs on the proviso that they're not suitable to live with children; its a very common stipulation. I think approaching some rescues with a view to surrendering him (and explaining that the bite was an isolated incident because he was hurt) is the kindest thing you can do for him. Its at least worth asking rescues, for your own peace of mind as much as anything else - because euthanasia isnt putting him to 'sleep', its ending his life.

@MillarMountVandal it has been without incident because my children couldn't walk when they were born or crawl anywhere quicker than I could get there.
Now they are 1 and 2.5, it's very different. I only have to look away and my youngest is making a b-line for the dog, I know full well when he gets there he'll just fall into him. Meanwhile I'm changing a nappy or something and you can see how easily it could happen.

Thank you all for your thoughts. I have drafted an email to the original rescue. I fear that once sent the situation is out of my hands. She regularly posts on FB the dogs in kennels and going from foster to foster and that would break my heart. I will see what she says.

We are a child free home, and in 15 years in this house can honestly say there has been a child in here once.

This is heartbreaking because the kids want to pet the dog and the dog doesn't understand that these are "human puppies" who mean no harm.

I don't envy you at all.

This is a very sad situation OP 😔 I dont envy you. You sound like a lovely person OP, you rescue and love dogs but you obviously also love your babies and know that they come first but still in the back of your mind you want that little dog to be loved and looked after.
It's a tough one. My DM fosters a dog that she loves and has really brought her on (turns out the rescue charity is a money making scam... but that's a whole other story)... so I know it has meant a lot to you to take this poor little dog on and nurture.
But if your 12mo got bit by him/her. The right thing to do is remove it from your home. It does seem a real shame to pts but If you rehome it yourself then you must make sure it goes to someone or a couple who are well aware of this and please tell them not to allow around small children! If the dog is 'getting on' and it's fur was ragged then it did react naturally as a dog would do I suppose. That being said, it's not safe around little children. I have a dog and a 2(almost 3yo) son who I've caught trying to get the dog in a headlock before when I've only pooped into the kitchen for a moment to grab a snack for him. I've had this dog from a pup since before DS was born and although he's mine, he's not a rescue and I've raised him from a pup, I still wouldn't ever 100% trust him. I think if he ever bit my DS. I would look to rehome immediately too which would break my heart but I know it'd be the right decision.
Good luck to you OP, sorry you are in this situation xxx

A very tricky situation, but your life sounds so stressful and your children now deserve your full attention in a stress free environment. All the best.

I wouldn’t return to the rescue. The minute he leaves your house, his future is going to be incredibly stressful.
There are much worse things than drifting off to sleep in your own house surrounded by the people you love.

@OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon thanks for the recommendation, I will call them today. Hard to see online whether they just live in kennels or not.
I'm also calling dogs 4 rescue which looks like a perfect place.... I do wonder if going back to the more natural way of living instead of being forced to live in a domestic environment may be what he would thrive in. I'm not holding my breath as it looks like they only take street dogs but we'll see.
I didn't send the message to the original rescue. I'll see what happens today first.

So many posters here need a serious reality check, and have not properly read the OPs posts.

This dog was very diffcult and reactive before the kids came along. This is not a case of a nice dog reacting to having his fur pulled. This is a dog living in constant anxiety, having to be kept behind a gate/door from the family, unable to have visitors to the house, needing to be muzzled, scared and reactive outside, cannot be walked off lead etc etc.
There has been 3 years of behaviourist input and the behaviourist has said that he will not get any less anxious. OP is an experienced dog owner, and has done all the right things and STILL 5 years later, this dog is anxious and difficult.
If this was just a case of dog not mixing with kids, that would be different.

The dog is from a rescue. No other rescue will take him, they will insist that he goes back to the original rescue, because that will be in the contract when the OP adopted him, he remains the property of the original rescue.
The original rescue has shown itself to be unhelpful and frankly crap. They would not help or support.
OP has clearly said that on their website they do not give any negatives about the dogs, only the positives. I would not trust that rescue to rehome to a safe home. Which means that he will be rehomed (eventually) to a home where he will probably bite and hurt someone. Or be pushed from one home to another, which is really really unkind to this anxious dog.

There simply are not homes around for all these highly reactive difficult dogs.
One PP said they had a young cocker spaniel who had bitten, but was then able to go on to a long happy life. THAT IS 100% DIFFERENT. I have a rescue dog who in the wrong context would bite. But he is NOT like this dog, reactive, scared anxious and very, very difficult.
Those saying rehome him to someone who can work with him, he has had 5 years of work. There are just not enough homes around for these dogs, and he will stay in kennels for months waiting to find that mythical home.
In that time he will be unhappy and stressed, and get worse.

I simply do not understand those who say that no dog should be PTS. I actually would now never use a rescue that had a no PTS policy. We, as responsible owners, should all recognise that for some dogs, being PTS is the kindest option. Why is living a life scared and stressed better than a quiet death?
Dogs can be mentally ill as well as phyisically ill, and putting them out of their misery is sometimes the kindest thing.

This emotional cry of - don't put to sleep - is the worst kind of animal care, based on our emotions and not on what is best for the animal. Most vets would not hesitate to PTS a dog who has bitten.

It's so strange, people in 'real life' wouldn't even know what a journey it's been with this dog. He's such a beautiful dog and walks so beautifully on the lead, people are always saying to me 'I wish my dog was like that' and people will cross the road to come and chat to me about him (obviously I tell them not to touch him).
He's not some huge brute, muzzled with teeth bared that everyone in our town is afraid of. And he's not prowling around the house growling at the children.
He is extremely gentle but extremely anxious and nervous.
Family members that come regularly love him. He loves strokes and fuss from our parents and friends that come a lot. But that has taken years to get to. And some people (especially men) he is never going to be ok with. Sadly toddlers come into this category.
People also see me training him the field and are so impressed by his obedience and intelligence. They wonder why I don't let him off in the woods etc but I just can't risk it. He would try to stay out of anyone's way but if anyone tried to grab his collar or something I think he could bite. Living with reactivity is so hard for all humans and dogs involved.