Considering euthanising dog after bite

[Dogheartbreak]

I feel so sick with the weight of this on my mind.
5 years ago, we rescued a dog from a UK charity that brings dogs from abroad. I am an experienced dog owner and wanted to save this dog's life. I have had rescue dogs before.
This dog was/is very nervous and reactive. I have worked with a behaviourist and the vet to improve the dogs quality of life and the improvements have been vast. But he's still a nervous dog and be off lead or anything out and about. I was happy that he loved his life with me, he was well cared for and happy and I would provide a safe and control environment for him to live out his days, walking when it's quieter and using secure fields etc.
I was told when I was younger I couldn't have children. Fast forward to one year after having the dog and I was pregnant. I've since had 2 kids and every precaution and loads of training went into prepping the dog. All was fine and obviously dog and kids never alone or anything. Easier when they were babies as they'd always be in our arms or if on the playmat we would be right there and the dog wasn't interested and has never approached one of the kids. Now they are toddlers and this is becoming so much harder to manage. The dog is visibly anxious if kids are in the same room so we separate and he ends up being in another room alone for hours which is obviously awful. We teach the kids how to behave but obviously they are toddlers and unpredictable, youngest in particular just wants to get to the dog whenever he can see him.
The other day, he was running through the kitchen to go outside and my 1yo reached out from his highchair and grabbed fur on the dogs back. He turned and bit his arm. Thankfully no major damage but had teeth marks and it could have so much worse. I took baby to drs obviously. We are incredibly vigilant but I am now terrified of a gate being left open, or eventually kids being able to open the gate or whatever and something happening.
He's very scared and aggressive towards strangers and I feel that if we weren't so vigilant with gates and the muzzle that he would have bitten someone else by now and could do again.
Obviously controlling the environment to this extent with 2 toddlers around is so hard. With the kids we also have more visitors to the house etc which stress the dog. I can't have the dog on a lead in the house as my kids are always all over me so if we have visitors the dog goes in his dog house in the garden (outside office with sofa and heating etc. he seems happy in there but I don't like doing it for more than an hour).
I feel like I can't have him in the house now this has happened. The rescue offer back up but I've seen them publicly shame people on their Facebook page that have done this. I also think they'll re-home the dog without disclosing the bite history and I could never forgive myself if he bit someone else, or worse
Also the thought of him having to be put down in a strange place. Or if the biting would mean he'd end up in a kennel for the rest of his days.
Please be kind. What can do. I love him so much but can't risk my children.

Dh and I take on rescued pets, and our current happy little pack of 6 dogs includes one who has a bite history, quite a few bites actually and all towards children.

We have no children or visiting children. We live in a village where we know nearly everyone, so no-one tries to invade our boy's space - I am more than capable of blocking anyone who tried though!

When we have visitors (which isn't that often as we're a pair of antisocial old gits!) before we let them in to the house our boy trots happily off to his bed in the back of the house with his Kong and one of the other dogs who is nearly blind and gets a bit discombobulated with other people in his space. In the 6 years we've had this dog, he's never once bitten, never escaped out the front door, nor got out the garden gate etc etc. He is still not as relaxed as the others outside, but we take our responsibility very seriously and we look after them all very carefully.

In our situation though @Dogheartbreak, our boy came to us via our vet, as he was going to be PTS. Our vet has known us for years and quite a few of our gang have come to us this way. It could be another option for you to try - see if your vet has a client like us on their books, we do exist!

I only wish we could afford to take on more, but sadly we've decided not to replace any when our current ones die, it costs an absolute fortune. It's not just dogs, we also have a cat, a rabbit, 2 snakes and 2 guinea pigs - nearly all of them were rescued or "Free to a good home" from Gumtree.

Best of luck OP, whatever you decide.

@IAmNoAngel

why would you hope op never got another dog?
she sounds like a fantastic dog owner

@CarrieMoonbeams thank you. This is how we images our life - children were very much not on the cards and I wanted to help this dog as I had helped others before. We've also had rescue rabbits, cats, goats and all sorts over the years!
I've been reluctant to contact the vet incase they recommend PTS and that's the truth of it.

*imagined

Just this. He has known your love for many years. The last and kindest thing you can do for him is hold him in your arms and say goodbye. If you redone you cannot guarantee his safety and happiness. The last thing he will know is how much you love him. Not the feeling of fear and confusion at being sent away.

Rehome not redone

We took him back to a breed specific dog rehoming charity.
It's where we initially got him. I'm sorry to read that you are too in a similar position.

It's been a very hard few days not having him here, but I do think this move may change his life.

Is your dog a rescue? They'll usually be the first people you contact in that situation, if not please check if there are any specific rescues for your dogs breed, they'll have experience with the breed, and often have access to behaviourists and they do tend to be firmly on the dogs side, which is all you can ask for really.

agreed

@ginasevern have you even read OP’s posts?!

oh and her babies are real babies, a dog is not a baby. And babies - or any humans in fact - trump dogs. End of.

Have not RTFT. However, I am now, I suppose, considered a "senior" and my recently deceased, wonderful rescue dog could not live with children (she was very frightened of them and would definitely have bitten them if they grabbed at her). She was rehomed to me by a major rescue who stated she needed an adult only home. She was very well behaved; I don't have any children and none visit, so it was easy to keep her from being approached by any. She was, in every other respect, one of the kindest, well behaved and gentle dogs I have ever had. She never attempted to bite me or anyone else. I see no reason why a good rescue could not find a child-free home for your dog. Indeed, I am currently looking at rescue dogs for another one and have seen several listed who were being rehomed because they had become reactive when they could not cope with noisy children or sometimes other resident dogs that were boisterous.

@Dogheartbreak I know what you mean, but personally if that happened to me (i.e. the vet recommends PTS) I would take that as a sign that they don't think he's safe to re-home. It would make the decision easier in my head, because the vet had suggested it - that's how I would feel anyway.

It's a very sad situation all round, you've done your best, I know.

@Dogheartbreak It’s an aggressive reactive dog that doesn’t like children.

There are children everywhere-
A responsible owner would get the dog painlessly euthanised.
Imports from overseas are so often “ Reactive “ and sent back to the “ rescues” and the owners are indeed “ Shamed”.

Rescue should never have placed a dog with someone of childbearing age.

@Dogheartbreak you sound like a great, dedicated owner so please ignore the negative comments.

I'm worried we'll face this at some point. We have 5 dogs and 1 is more challenging, although nowhere near as bad as yours as his small size makes it more manageable.
He is nervous and fear aggressive and doesn't like being approached, touched or picked up and will snap if picked up by anyone other than me (which is sometimes necessary). He also gets aggressive with all the other dogs bar one, and sometimes fights with our other male dogs, so we have to practice caution with him.
With training, he is much better than he used to be, but unlike one of our others I've not been able to 'cure' it completely.

We love him to bits and he can be very loving on his own terms and with me, but my dh has admitted that he doesn't know if he could keep him if I wasn't around as he regularly goes for him if my dh tries to do anything with him and he really dislikes visitors.

We manage with gates and separating him when necessary and by asking people to not even look at him (if they're dog savvy, we don't take the chance with non doggy people).

@Dogheartbreak If your vet recommends Put to sleep that shows how unstable this dog actually is.

Our vet does a lot of work for a local rescue and they know what a reliable dog is.
Conversely also what a risky dog is.
Vet will know if this dog is likely to never “ Come right” behaviourally.

The problem is it isn't isolated is it. He is a reactive dog, it's not like he is truly chilled and this was a true one off. He clearly is a bite risk and it says a huge amount in your favour that you have clearly been successful in mitigating this, however it can't last. Tbh I would pts.

I know! It seems pretty obvious that you can have a very pleasant life without having to deal with shit, noise, mess and the need for constant vigilance.

@ImNotReallySpartacus

THIS!!! 👆

you really have hit the nail on the head here

How did the baby reach the dog from the high chair? And did the bite break the skin?

I’ve often thought that about children myself!

Spot on about people with no kids or adult children not wanting reactive bite - risk or dog aggressive dogs.
A sweet natured well mannered dog is often what they have because they visit friends with dogs, visit cafés and a well socialised, well trained dog costs just the same as a liability of a dog.

Good Rescue dogs are out there too.
Whippet Rescue Greyhound Rescue often have nice dogs.

There aren’t actually.
Its really hard to rehome even healthy young dogs as rescues are deluged especially since covid when so many people bought dogs for company but are now dumping them in droves.

I think PTS is a totally over the top reaction to a nip which had an obvious mitigating cause.

It is, however, clear that your dog is not compatible or safe to live with your children.

I would contact some reputable rescues - not necessarily the big national names, there are some excellent local rescues - with a view to rehoming the dog. Be 100% upfront and honest with the circumstances that lead to the bite.

In the meantime, your dog must not be around your children in a situation where your children can repeat the behaviour which lead to the bite - for example, the dog should be separated from them and if you have to take him through the kitchen, the children should be moved to an alternative room or the dog should be muzzled and led through on the lead. Are you still letting the dog off the lead in public? If so, this is totally irresponsible. I would be muzzling and walking on a lead only from now on - you can also hire secure dog fields if dog needs to let off steam off lead.

While I'm sure plenty of people will tell you to PTS, I also think your dog could be safely rehomed to an appropriate, experienced, child-free home with support from a rescue and you would be letting the dog down to not to explore this option first before jumping to PTS.

Good luck.

@frayble I've never let the dog off in public?
I'm not irresponsible. As mentioned we only walk on lead and use secure fields.

I think PTS is a totally over the top reaction to a nip which had an obvious mitigating cause.

But if you read all of OP's posts, it's not "just a nip", is it?

@Dogheartbreak

Apologies, I haven't read your further replies.

In your initial OP, it reads "But he's still a nervous dog and be off lead or anything out and about" - i took that to mean he is nervous while off lead out and about. I assume now you meant to put can't be off lead out and about, which makes more sense!

Sorry @frayble , my typo. I'm just feeling very upset about the whole thing.