Considering euthanising dog after bite

[Dogheartbreak]

I feel so sick with the weight of this on my mind.
5 years ago, we rescued a dog from a UK charity that brings dogs from abroad. I am an experienced dog owner and wanted to save this dog's life. I have had rescue dogs before.
This dog was/is very nervous and reactive. I have worked with a behaviourist and the vet to improve the dogs quality of life and the improvements have been vast. But he's still a nervous dog and be off lead or anything out and about. I was happy that he loved his life with me, he was well cared for and happy and I would provide a safe and control environment for him to live out his days, walking when it's quieter and using secure fields etc.
I was told when I was younger I couldn't have children. Fast forward to one year after having the dog and I was pregnant. I've since had 2 kids and every precaution and loads of training went into prepping the dog. All was fine and obviously dog and kids never alone or anything. Easier when they were babies as they'd always be in our arms or if on the playmat we would be right there and the dog wasn't interested and has never approached one of the kids. Now they are toddlers and this is becoming so much harder to manage. The dog is visibly anxious if kids are in the same room so we separate and he ends up being in another room alone for hours which is obviously awful. We teach the kids how to behave but obviously they are toddlers and unpredictable, youngest in particular just wants to get to the dog whenever he can see him.
The other day, he was running through the kitchen to go outside and my 1yo reached out from his highchair and grabbed fur on the dogs back. He turned and bit his arm. Thankfully no major damage but had teeth marks and it could have so much worse. I took baby to drs obviously. We are incredibly vigilant but I am now terrified of a gate being left open, or eventually kids being able to open the gate or whatever and something happening.
He's very scared and aggressive towards strangers and I feel that if we weren't so vigilant with gates and the muzzle that he would have bitten someone else by now and could do again.
Obviously controlling the environment to this extent with 2 toddlers around is so hard. With the kids we also have more visitors to the house etc which stress the dog. I can't have the dog on a lead in the house as my kids are always all over me so if we have visitors the dog goes in his dog house in the garden (outside office with sofa and heating etc. he seems happy in there but I don't like doing it for more than an hour).
I feel like I can't have him in the house now this has happened. The rescue offer back up but I've seen them publicly shame people on their Facebook page that have done this. I also think they'll re-home the dog without disclosing the bite history and I could never forgive myself if he bit someone else, or worse
Also the thought of him having to be put down in a strange place. Or if the biting would mean he'd end up in a kennel for the rest of his days.
Please be kind. What can do. I love him so much but can't risk my children.

Any updates? Hope you managed to get him sorted

I haven't heard anything back yet from dogs 4 rescue and it has been a week. It's a horrible limbo. We're just trying to manage it as best we can. I might call again today.

As a dog trainer I would say it sounds like you are out of your depth in this case and should not be determining which home would be a good home for the dog especially if you're considering having a dog put to sleep because the animal reacted to its fur being pulled. I do agree the dog should not be in your home but I'd suggest calling a rescue place that has an experienced trainer. Also in the U.S at least you cannot just take a dog to an vet and say put the animal to sleep because I can't handle it.....now maybe it's different in the UK but most vets I would imagine would question that logic as there has to be a reason and an animal acting defensively is not a reason to be put down.

This is a fear aggressive 'Reactive' dog- Long before @Dogheartbreak had children.

She has spent a considerable amount of time, money and emotional investment in this dog, and he very likely won't settle well anywhere else as he doesn't like 'strangers' much.

Likely he is a shepherding/herding type,[?] and they are wary anyway.

If he can't get a place at the four paws rescue place, {where he would live as a free ranging pack} it would be far crueller to place him in a 'rescue' that uses kennels where the noise alone can send a sensitive dog loopy.

The noise from kennels even as a human, one can tell the dogs aren't happy, the wailing , falling cadence of their howls.

We had a rescue dog who had to go back to the same building to see the vet for a pre-existing condition, and she hated going back, even though the staff were lovely and she knew and liked the ones who used to look after her kennel block.

It would be far more humane to have a vet come to the house to PTS in a place he knows.

If he was an easy, happy go lucky type, someone would probably take him on, but dogs like this tend to not be looking for a new home.

Then this supposed "behaviorist" doesn't know what they're doing........

Appreciate your opinion @AngieBear41 but she's recommended by every local vet in a 50 mile radius. Huge waitlist to secure her. There have been huge improvements to his reactivity since we have been working with her, but she's being realistic in that he's never going to be a secure, confident dog. Would you really expect a child that has been beaten and abused to completely recover with support and intervention? Of course we can try to desensitise and create positive associations but you cannot erase memory and fear in all cases.
He masks his fear pretty well, but I always feel that a reaction (or bite) is close to the surface eventhough he doesn't display that behaviour on a regular basis. We never push him to that limit and I am concerned that a new owner wouldn't know these boundaries (from years of observing him) making an incident more likely.
Before this dog, I naively thought every dog could be trained with the right behaviourist support. I have mainly had rescue staffies and you wouldn't be able to tell I hadn't had them from a pup by the time I'd finished training them.
This is another level.

Or maybe the dog is too damaged to be fixed.

I would take the dog if I could or step in to assist. But I'm in another country unfortunately. I've been training for over 15 years and only had two dogs with legitimate aggression issues that had to be put to sleep for it. One had a medical condition the other was a socialization issue (a large mastiff) that only myself and another animal control officer could handle and since I had no space for her at the time she had to be put down....nearly 100% of the time dogs labeled as "agressive" are a result of poor training and handling and lack of skill set which are entirely correctable issues.
I just hope you find another rescue place that can take the dog or a trainer that can come in. Alot of trainers over here will work for free with dogs that are at risk of being euthanized. I do it frequently and have even taken dogs from other states from the state I reside in. Actually one of my keeper dogs is a dog who was scheduled to be euthanized due to supposedly unmanageable behavioral issues (non aggressive) he was on tons of meds to manage his extreme anxiety. He was such a sad pathetic unhappy dog. Now he's med free and lives happily in our home enjoying life as every dog should. The point is.....alot of trainers are complete softies especially animal behavior specialists like myself and alot are more than happy to take a tough case. You never know until you ask...so please just check around and see who is willing to take him off your hands.

I didn't say he has aggression issues. He has reactivity issues completely based in fear and anxiety, which have worsened since my children have reached walking age. I don't blame him for not wanting to be around them, but I do believe he would (defensively) harm them if they scared him which is why they are constantly separated. He always has one eye on them and stays in his bed out of the way. But if a gate were left open (or once older a child manages to open it) he wouldn't move from his bed when they approach. He freezes in fear until they get to him and then what?
This isn't a huge mastiff that cannot be physically controlled. It's completely different.

We're one of those homes with no kids. It is incredibly rare for us to have visitors with children (once or twice a year, tops) and we could put the dog in a separate room.

We'd struggle more with the visitors thing; we have an active social life and often have adult guests, plus a lodger.

I don't suppose there's anyone in your social circles with a soft spot for the dog?

There is a beautiful dog called 'Teddy' who has been in a shelter for a year in USA.
Robert Cabral the dog trainer has assessed her {he works with shelter dogs a lot} and this one is a complete sweetheart.

Yet she has languished for a year, with no interest. Why?!

She'd make a superb companion for someone. Zero behavioural issues.

She's looking for a home...if someone is in her area USA..

Any update @Dogheartbreak

If I pulled my dogs hair or ear she wouldn't do anything but welp, and she's a bull breed, often accused of being a "scary dog"
I think this is an issue with the dog and would pts unfortunately.