Heartache after saying goodbye- support thread

[Helplessandheartbroke]

I'm in agony after losing our boy 2.5 weeks ago. I had another thread deleted as it was too outing but realised quickly there's many of us suffering. Anyone want to join hands?

@ErrolTheDragon @Helplessandheartbroke @Work2live @CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau thank you for your kind words. I'm off to bed feeling emotionally drained and dreading getting up in the morning and not having her greet me or stare at me eating my toast.

@BlackBean2023 I won't lie. Tonight will be the worse nights sleep you've had in a long time but each night gets slightly easier. Same with each Morning. Just remind yourself it can't get any worse. I hope you're ok and have support at home. Sending best wishes to you x

Oh I know - the first time my young adult DD came home after we'd lost our old boy, she came downstairs and burst into tears because there was no sound of ears flapping.

@Helplessandheartbroke - I'm more north-west than you!

@ErrolTheDragon yes for me it was not hearing his footsteps on the kitchen floor waiting for me to let him out back!

More northwest than me so I'm guessing preston/blackpool way....

Well I didn't think things could get much worse ladies. My ds whos 3 and asd was up from 12.30am until 7am ish.... I've managed to squeeze and hours sleep in before starting work and my first cbt session at 9am.... safe to say my head is messed up this morning! I hope you all had a better evening and hope everyone has a decent day x

@Helplessandheartbroke I’m not too far from you. Sorry to hear you had a bad night, hopefully you don’t feel too terrible today, and I hope your CBT goes well.

@BlackBean2023 I hope this morning isn’t too painful for you.

Hello everyone I've read the whole thread and cried for us all. My beautiful boys died before Christmas, 1 out of the blue, the other we had to take to the vets. The pain is extreme.
@Helplessandheartbroke I feel horribly guilty too. Why didn't I realise how unwell they were, should I have done more, why did the vet let us take our ill boy home when he was so unwell he basically suffocated in front of us.
Friends have been great. Lots of cards and kind words. I'd love to think I'll see them again, they were here when I had cancer and when my dad died. They were such fantastic souls, I was very lucky. And they made life hard at times with their kray twins antics.
But they're gone. And I'm so sorrowful.
Completely empathise with everyone.
When I feel a bit stronger I can rationalise that life is short and it was their time. And smile at the memories. Not happening this morning

It can be a mixed blessing to go to therapy in a bad state of mind because on the one hand you can talk about what’s bothering you when it’s bothering you but it’s also hard work. Really hope it goes well xx

@Work2live thank you. Sleep deprivation is definitely not helping. How are you today? It was you that made me wonder about geographics after saying you had no friends in your current hometown.

@rumred I'm so sorry for both your losses that sounds incredibly difficult to watch your boy suffer like that! Please keep talking these ladies have helped me immensely. I'm sorry you're going through the guilt too its absolutely consuming me.

Therapy was ok... there's work I now need to put in so it's a long road ahead...

@rumred so sorry to hear about your two boys, how awful to lose both of them so quickly. It sounds like they were very special animals who helped you through tough times of your own.

You did the absolute best you could at the time, with the information you had. You must remember that, it's something I'm only just starting to accept a few weeks down the line. And I still have wobbles.

@CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau thank you and your were absolutely right x

@Helplessandheartbroke yes me and DH are struggling with sleep deprivation too. Our dog spent his last few weeks at home, and they were difficult weeks that involved us both being up with him multiple times each night. I think we're still recovering from it.

I've taken the leap and signed up for a few different things locally in the hope of finding something I enjoy and where I can meet people. I have my lovely DH and friends/family further away, but I do feel quite lonely still.

I'm glad your therapy went ok. The hardest part is putting it into practice!

OK I have to apologise for randomly writing this on multiple threads but does anyone else have this flipping bug? I have very bad circulation so I’ll be slowly and painfully typing out my replies of a morning and suddenly an entire paragraph of what I wrote earlier elsewhere replaces what I’ve written. Grr.

Anyway TL:DR I’m glad you’ve got through your session and I really hope it helps you. Best wishes from me and hope that it works and furry love from Velvet, who thinks you are super brave.

@Work2live that sounds so tough! My boy would occasionally wake me up wanting a wee like the Friday before he passed at 1.30! But it's my son that has me up mostly. How's your dh taken things? Massive well done on signing up for groups that's a huge step of self help!

@CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau no I've not had it so sorry you're feeling unwell and hope for a speedy recovery! Thank you as always for everyone's kind words. I love this thread its really keeping me going and I hope it's helping others too x

Sorry OP! I read some responses and assumed it had happened for some reason. Embarrassed now. x

@CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau sorry I'm so confused lol what's happened? X

Um… can we just move on and pretend nothing happened?

@CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau of course!!! Haha x

Sorry. My cat is curled up on my bed sleeping with her paws over her eyes which is a pretty good approximation of my feeling in interpretative dance form.

Really hope your day is bearable and has good bits, whether/when it involves therapy or not.

Same to you and everyone else! Don't anyone feel they can't share what they want to on here. Were all on here to help one another and ourselves to get through these times x

How's everyone's afternoons been? I'm exhausted and emotionally drained but its hard to say what the actual reason is or is it because I've had 1 hours sleep and worked all day.... @rumred I hope your afternoon has been better than your morning was and I hope the comfort from this thread is helping. If anyone else on the thread has anything to share, good or bad, please do!

Going through a tough time combined with a lack of sleep will never make you feel great @Helplessandheartbroke, hope the rest of the week is better for you.

I had the usual 'how was your Christmas/NY?' conversation with someone today, and managed to be truthful about what had happened with ddog without getting upset, which is progress for me.

Thanks @Helplessandheartbroke yes it's been fine. We, prematurely, in a daze, agreed to foster a dog in need 11 days ago. It felt overwhelming at first, I'm still grieving and sad. But it's been useful for the dog and us. A trainer visited today to help managing foster dog as she's massive, young and hasn't been socialised. It feels more manageable now. The sorrow is still here but distraction definitely helps, as long as I allow myself space to express it (like reading this helpful, lovely thread this morning)
@Work2live I am unable to lie when asked about Christmas. I'm just surprised when other people sympathise and say how rubbish theirs has been.

@Work2live that is progress! I've been struggling it off to people that don't know and saying 'it was alright...' how's your dh? Mine has handled things so logical and pragmatic hes made me feel like I'm mental!

@rumred you're so brave giving your new dog a home when needed! Hats off to you. It must be hard having that time out to grieve so I'm really please you joined us.

I've put a picture up of our boy and he's looking straight at the camera and looks sad and when I look at it it makes me sad (he wasn't sat he was cheekily sat on our old couch looking very human like) x