Heartache after saying goodbye- support thread

[Helplessandheartbroke]

I'm in agony after losing our boy 2.5 weeks ago. I had another thread deleted as it was too outing but realised quickly there's many of us suffering. Anyone want to join hands?

@Helplessandheartbroke Steroids normally do their thing pretty quickly. Fingers crossed your DS will be well on the mend tomorrow.

No, I’m south west in a damp and dismal Wiltshire!

@Iheartmysmart fingers crossed! Hes had 2 lots and is sleeping now.

Never been to Wiltshire but South is usually better weather than the North lol.

Not that I ever want to forget ddog but just wondering when I'll be able to stop thinking 24/7. I'm still consumed and not sure how to shift it x

@Helplessandheartbroke Sleep is good!

We’re usually fortunate with the weather, and tend to avoid the worst of it.

I don’t think there’s any real time limit on grief unfortunately. I’d love to be able to tell you you’ll wake up on a particular date and the worst will be behind you but it doesn’t work like that. If it’s any help at all, I’m four months in and every day is a little easier. I still miss the silly old sod desperately but I remember the good times we had together rather than the last few days with him far more now.

You’ll get there but it’ll take time 💐

Thank you. I still have dreams about him and I think its because he's constantly on my mind then I wake in the night and can't sleep again. I don't know how people go through this more than once (not in a disrespectful way I generally don't know how they do it) going to try and get some sleep now. Thanks for your company this evening x

@Helplessandheartbroke

Hope your son is better soon,, croup is horrible.

In answer to your question earlier I have been married a very long time, but let's just say he's as emotionally available as a rock, he's not mentioned the dog since either.

I was watching something earlier and it said how it's understandable to feel such grief when losing a pet, they love us unconditionally, their eyes tell us they love us just as we are, that made sense.

For me more than anything now I just miss him so much just being around, I accept he was too poorly to carry on, I just so miss stroking his little head, watching everything he did which was either cute or amusing, its just pure sadness

I hope everyone is doing ok, I do think all the pets being missed had the absolute best humans and were so very lucky!

i hope you get a good nights sleep.

My boy used to sleep on my bed with me and I really miss his gentle snoring when I wake up in the night now.

Ds is up!

@Zandra123 men are generally more pragmatic, do you think he's trying to be strong for you? I miss ddog just his presence here with me wfh. You're right how we have to think we were both lucky. As you know I've tortured myself over mistakes made but he was looked after and loved. My step mum said she was glad I had him and not some scrote who wouldn't have got him all the treatment he needed over the years and would have just bred him to make a load of money eventhough he had health issues.

@Iheartmysmart our boy did until ds was born then we deemed him to big to be sharing a room with a newborn. He adapted so well bless him. I bet going to bed was hard for you for a while x

Just sat having a little cry to myself so thought I'd check in and see how everyone is? Not sure many are still on but whoever is following, I hope you're all doing ok x

@Helplessandheartbroke Are you okay. Anything you want to talk about? And how is your DS feeling today? Hopefully you managed to get back to sleep after your early wake up!

@Iheartmysmart thank you. Just sat feeling lonely and a little sorry for myself. Dh is on nights and I always felt so safe when we had our boy downstairs but now we don't it hits me hard when dh works nights.

Ds finally went back to sleep near 5am somewhere so I've been tired today as had to work too.

How are you doing? Sorry I've become so reliant on venting on here. Please vent to me too when you need to I'm here x

Sorry ds has been much better today thank you. Just mostly bored while I've worked but he can go to nursery tomorrow. Still coughing a little but nothing like. Dh couldn't believe how quick steroids worked x

Evenings are pretty rotten sometimes aren’t they. Gets a bit lonely. Think that’s when I miss my boy the most. We’d go for a walk once I’d finished work then sit on the sofa together after dinner. He used to like me holding his paw for some reason, there had to be contact!

I’m glad your DS is feeling better. Such a worry when they’re poorly. 5am is a bit of a rubbish time though isn’t it, not really enough time to get back to sleep properly before it’s time to get up again. Even worse when you have to work.

I am doing okay thank you. Still at the undecided point about getting another dog which probably means I should hold off for a bit longer.

Awww you nearly made me cry again then! Holding his paw is so sweet bless him. My boy used to come and sit at my feet so I knew he wanted his neck massage. I'd give him one but it was never enough he would nudge for more, I miss this it was our little thing most evenings.

My ds is always poorly bless him! Rarely get a break and I'm such an anxious mum its always a worry. Definitely not had enough sleep feeling it now.

Glad you're doing ok. The good thing with waiting a little is you might get to the summer months and decide its time, then lots of nice walks. Although for us last summer, it rained more than the winter! I don't think it stopped once in August! X

Sorry! It was sweet. He was a funny old thing, affectionate but very much on his terms. He didn’t really like being fussed but loved having his paw held. Your boy sounds like he was a lover of routine as well.

How old is your DS? Apologies if you’ve already said and I’ve missed it. I know mine went down with one thing after another when he started nursery. On the plus side, he then got off fairly easily when he started school because he’d already had every bug known to man!

Ha! I remember last summer well. Decided to go camping in July - after all it was summer and should have been lovely. But no, gale force winds and constant rain. Apart from the last day when the sun came out and I got sunburn! Seems to be nice until the kids break up then the weather gets dreadful. Always feel really sorry for them and their parents.

He sounds adorable! They're such characters aren't they. We took one boy camping August bank holiday and it were the best weather all month! Lots of amazing walks that weekend.

Ds will be 4 next month. My friend always says has he not had every virus going yet.... x

They are characters. For some reason my dog hated camping, I took him once and he was a bloody nightmare. You’d think being outside with lots of lovely walks would be doggy heaven. Contrary little bugger.

With a bit of luck by the time your DS starts school he’ll have a better developed immune system!

My cousin was on the same trip as us and had to pack up after 1 night as her dachshund was a nightmare and kept the baby in the next tent awake! Just like people I guess, some love it and some hate it.

We can only hope on the immune system front....

Probably. I know my friends are horrified at my love of camping. My next dog needs to be a camper!

I really hope so too.

Thank you!

Maybe bigger dogs are more suited for camping... they can probably handle the cold better. We only took ddog to certain sites mostly where there isn't a pool and clubhouse so we weren't restricted with ds. We took him to the same site as last year twice and we have a trailer tent with 2 bedrooms. Me and ds would snuggle in one and dh and ddog in the other. Dh would constantly complain that ddog was hogging the quilt 😂it'll be weird next time we go as he was with us the last time.

If you'd like a camping buddy I would definitely look at a bigger breed. That might be a good thing too as they will be completely different to your old boy x

I think mine just liked routine and anything outside of that had to be treated with the utmost suspicion.

Not a fan of large campsites with lots of facilities, give me a decent sized pitch with a good view and clean loos and I’m happy. A trailer tent sounds good with kids though. DS loved camping and still talks about some of our trips. He’s threatened to come with me this year but has just got a girlfriend so will undoubtedly dump me for her. Which is how it should be!

The only problem with a bigger breed is I’d have to squeeze them in my tiny Smart Fortwo convertible with all my camping stuff. It’d be like a game of jenga 😆

Love how you describe ds as threatening to come camping with you 😅how dare he! I took prefer the basic sites but ds can get bored so we would switch it up a little. Not sure if you've been to many up north but some with clubhouses can attract some right characters!

I'm sure you'll squeeze in your smart car 🚗 could always pop a roof box on, for the camping gear to go in though, not the dog 🤔

I know! The audacity of him. It’s my time to chill and do whatever I like - even if that’s absolutely nothing. I love him really, honest!

Kids do prefer it when there’s something to do don’t they, we went to one site many years ago and they had a huge barn filled with games, table football, snooker table, books and toys. Perfect for kids with the added bonus of cider brewed onsite for parents. Bliss!

I can imagine there are some characters about. I’ve always found camping people to be a friendly bunch though.

Blimey, I’d not be able to reach a top box. Real short arse here. And would probably forget it was there resulting in disaster.

Haha I can tell you love him dearly! Hope you get along with the new gf too.

The barn place sounds like a great site! My grandparents do a fair bit of camping/touring down south its just a bit far for ds yet.

I hear you about being short! My dh is rather a giant so I leave the roof boxing to him.

I'm going to TRY and get some sleep as ds is stiring so not sure how long I will get.... thank you for your company again, I enjoy our evening chats x

@Helplessandheartbroke hope your ds is feeling better x

Thanks lou I thought he was but we've been up half the night with a temp so I'm keeping him off today and will ring community nurses soon x