Thank you.
This will be really outing if anyone I know is on here but never mind.
Our girl was 11. One of our three and just such a good girl. She was a working gun dog for a few years before arthritis stopped her and was just an absolute saint, the sweetest and easiest dog. Just over 6 months ago we noticed she was losing her back end on a walk. I took her to the vet that day and they just said it was likely arthritis and gave her pain meds. The next morning I went down and she got up and immediately fell over and soiled herself. She couldn't stand on her own. Back to the vets who suspected a neurological issue and referred to a specialist. We were waiting for a call to let us know when she could come in but later that night she had declined to the point she was paralysed, so we rushed her in (nearly 2 hours away, in the middle of the night). We have a baby so I couldn't go with my husband and sobbed my heart out thinking it was the last time I'd see her, as we said due to her age if she needed spinal surgery we wouldn't put her through it (been there with another dog).
After many tests the vets diagnosed polyneuropathy where basically the nerves stop sending signals from the brain to the muscles and therefore you lose all movement. We had many awful discussions about what to do - we were told a full recovery was expected but likely very slow, and it wouldn't be easy. We nearly lost her a few times as it affects breathing and swallowing. But she made it through and after nearly 2 weeks she came home. She was a shell of herself - literally every muscle had wasted away to nothing and she could only move her head.
The next couple of months were insanely tough and we questioned if we were doing the right thing for her but eventually we came out the other side, and after lots of time, and a lot of physio, after 5 months we were able to take her on her first 'normal' walk with our other dogs. It was the happiest day, we were happy, we'd done it, she was better and she could live pretty much as normal for the rest of her life.
Tragically, and unbelievably, about a month later it just happened again. Just like it did before. Her back end went first and she couldn't stand. We said to ourselves, if she's worse tomorrow we will say goodbye. And she was. Our vets were fantastic and came to our house that day. It all felt like an absolute whirlwind - one day we were celebrating her enjoying her life and just like that she was gone. It just seems so cruel and every day now I wish we'd never put her though it the first time.
Sorry for the essay but it helps to talk to people who understand!