Heartache after saying goodbye- support thread

[Helplessandheartbroke]

I'm in agony after losing our boy 2.5 weeks ago. I had another thread deleted as it was too outing but realised quickly there's many of us suffering. Anyone want to join hands?

Sorry, I’m really unwell, I’ve had to have emergency surgery so will be back soon ( I’m heartbroken and in pain) can things get any worse….

I've had a busy day which has been a nice distraction, I don't work much but I did today followed by going out with friends tonight, of course I told them all about what happened, but I didn't want to put a downer on the night. Then I came home and no little friend to greet me with a waggy tail.

@Ineedwinenow

Goodness sorry to read that, I hope you're ok, wishing you a good recovery.

@Helplessandheartbroke in as good as can be expected, how are you? Just spoke about my ddog today good memories though and funny ones which was nice x

@Ineedwinenow oh no how are you now x

@Zandra123 i hate that …I too keep expecting my little one there to greet me and get under my feet and tripping me over 😅

How many times I tell off both my ddogs to not get under my feet as I have nearly fell over countless times lol. But how would give anything to be able to tell my little one to stop it I would put up with it then he would look me with those big eyes and I would give him a treat… my other dog still greets me and gets under my feet etc but which I’m grateful to have one left in old age

Sorry ladies for some reason I had no notifications and just thought I'd check in and saw all last nights messages.

@Ineedwinenow sorry to read this! Hope you're ok and nothing too serious. Here if you want to discuss.

@Zandra123 hope you enjoyed your night out. On a Wednesday too! It's the worse part about walking in the front door isn't it?!

@4658Lou I hear you. There's so many little things used to get on my nerves like following me for a wee etc and now when I'm on the loo, I wish he was there! (Not in a weird way, hopefully you know what I meant)

I've finally cried happy tears today for a change! I've been fighting for a specialist school for ds to start in Sept. After originally being knocked back as they were at capacity, I got MP involved, pediatrics and threatened court (I'm not being precious they're the only school that said they could meet his needs) I got a call to say he's being offered a place! Well after everything I've been going through lately it was like a huge weight had been lifted!

@miamiamia869 @Iheartmysmart @ErrolTheDragon just checking in. You all offered me so much support along with a couple of others. Just wanted to know how you all are? And to add I really appreciate everything x

@Helplessandheartbroke That is great news about your DS! I’m so pleased for you. How have you been over the last week?

My DS had been back from uni for a few days so it’s been a whirlwind of chaos. I love him dearly but it’s surprising how quickly I’ve adjusted to living alone.

We said goodbye to one of our dogs this week. I'm absolutely heartbroken, it's physically painful isn't it.

I'm full of guilt and panic that we did the wrong thing, that it was too soon even though I know in my head it wasn't.

This was the first time going through this and while it was peaceful at home and the vet was wonderful, it was still horrific and devastating and our house just feels empty. I keep seeing things like her lead hanging up and it just hits all over again. I know one of our others is on somewhat borrowed time and it won't be too long until we have to go through it all over again.

I'm so sorry to all of you who had to go through this too

@Iheartmysmart thank you. It's honestly been a draining fight but was worth it in the end! I'm much better and it's honestly thanks to the reassurance I've had for some in RL but also my new friends on this thread! I've come to terms with it not being my fault and I weren't a terrible dog num (my step dad told me when he's old if he's treated half as well as my boy was then he will be happy) so lots of reassurance and nice kind words has helped. My ocd was of course the driving factor in me believing otherwise.

Oh no! Sorry ds has ruined your peaceful week haha 😄 I'm sure it's been nice having some time with him too. Have you considered a new fury companion yet? I know you weren't ready last time you considered. Maybe spring will help with that? Nice spring walks etc x

@stockpilingallthecheese I'm so sorry for your loss. It is extremely painful and everyone on here knows how much so. 💔 sorry to meet you like this. Do you want to tell us about your girl? Re the guilt, been there! X

@Helplessandheartbroke It’s so awful that parents have to fight for decent education for their children!

I’m glad you’re feeling better now, you sound much brighter.

It’s great having him here but he’s so grown up I feel like the child sometimes! My music is too loud, wouldn’t I rather have a cup of tea than a glass of wine, cheerios are not dinner. You get the idea!

Another furry friend has been considered but I have holidays booked and am away with work several times over the next few months so perhaps it would be sensible to wait until later in the year.

@stockpilingallthecheese I’m so sorry to hear that. We’ve all been there with the guilt. Be kind to yourself 💐

@Iheartmysmart that made me chuckle! Wine, cheerios and loud music! I love it 😀 it's honestly down to the support I received. I hope I can give some back.

I almost had a wine tonight to celebrate ds school placement but figured it's Friday tomorrow so I'll hang fire. It is a joke to have to fight. It's hard enough having a sen child without added pressures from LA.

Have you been going on your walks with your old pals?

Enjoy your wine tomorrow, you certainly deserve it!

I’ve not been out much this week, a combination of DS, work and rain. Hopefully the weather will brighten up soon. Not long until the clocks change thank goodness.

Thank you I'm sure I will!

Yes not sure if you said where abouts you are but Manchester has been gloomy. Very sleety today.

So glad to hear about your DS's school place, @Helplessandheartbroke !

@ErrolTheDragon thank you! How are you? X

I'm good thanks, DH is home now.
The wind is wild though!

Is he home for a while? Ye it's quite windy here too tonight. Dh is on nights in Leeds and he said the snow is terrible up there and the m62 wasn't a nice drive!

How is everyone?

@Ineedwinenow how are you recovering?

@Helplessandheartbroke
Congratulations on getting the school for your son, it's ridiculous how hard it is, but hopefully he will really progress and there will be less stress for you.

Hope everyone is ok, I have been home alone all day and it started off really hard, I was just so upset, so then I ate two cream eggs and started doing some housework I've neglected with looking after a poorly dog. Had rubbish on tv to stop the quiet.

It's two weeks tomorrow and it still hurts so much. I found a bit of fur, he didn't lose fur and when he was too sick to go to the groomers we had to trim him and this piece got lost, I held it and sniffed it...I wouldn't admit that to anyone else but you lot lol

@Zandra123 thank you and thanks for sharing your day with us. I hope you're ok. I sometimes sniff ddogs blanket. It still has his smell. It hurts so much doesn't it. Glad you got on with housework though it helps keep the mind healthy. How has your sleep been?

I hope you don't mind me joining in this thread, really struggling and looking for some support/people to talk to

I lost one of my dogs this Monday past. He had chronic kidney failure and we didn't find out til late on so it was around three weeks after we found out until he declined and we had to make the hardest decision ever to let him go 😭

I'm finding it really hard to cope and constantly think about him. He was a mummy's boy and always with me. I had a daughter two years ago and I have immense guilt that I didn't give him enough attention after that, worry I didn't catch his illness quick enough. Huge guilt over putting him to sleep, wonder if we could have done more like helped force feed him to eat but he lost so much weight and refused any food at all, he was off balance and drooling constant and blood in drool, just looked completely done :(

I wish I could reverse time and not do it, even though deep down I know that it was the right thing for him to do and he was suffering. Just wish I could have more moment with him, he was only 6.5 years old

We have his dad also and it's so hard going from two dogs to one. I cried sweeping the floor the other day as I felt I was sweeping all his hair away.

I worry he's lonely/alone and doesn't know anyone on the other side. His family and all he knew are here with me, what if he's sad and lonely,
I have moments where I'm distracted and don't think about it briefly then I get annoyed at myself thinking I have forgotten him.
Laughed at something my partner said and then felt guilty for laughing
Feel guilty doing normal household stuff; what if he's looking down thinking I'm moving on so fast without him

Sorry I know most of that must sound so silly