Heartache after saying goodbye- support thread

[Helplessandheartbroke]

I'm in agony after losing our boy 2.5 weeks ago. I had another thread deleted as it was too outing but realised quickly there's many of us suffering. Anyone want to join hands?

@Danascully2 how are you in the grieving process? I'm missing him so much but beating myself up too for all the little mistakes I made along the way. Dont know how to get past this phase

Hi all,
Just joining in for hand holds and moral support.
We had to have our beautiful 7 year old dog put to sleep early yesterday morning. He was diagnosed with bone cancer last year and we tried everything we could to save him, limb amputation and chemotherapy. We were so happy his lung scans came back clear in December. And then a week ago out of nowhere he had a seizure 😢
It turned out the cancer had spread to his brain.
We had a good week on medication but then suddenly overnight on Friday he started having seizure after seizure. We rushed him to the vets and opted to put him to sleep. The daft boy ate his first chocolate bar a minute beforehand and he went down so peacefully.
Cried so much I’ve made myself literally vomit. I wish we could have done more for him and I can’t get the images of the seizures out of my head, they were so horrific to watch. The vets said they wouldn’t hurt, but he was so disoriented and not himself I can’t help beat myself up for not having opted to euthanise him when they first suspected it. He was genuinely such a lovely dog who absolutely loved people. He did not deserve to have his life cut short so quickly and horrifically.
Its hard to go home and not see him there, and already missing every mannerism we took for granted.
They just become such an integral part of every day life don’t they? And you don’t really realise until they are gone the huge hole they leave and how things won’t be the same again.

Oh gosh, @Songbirdthatsings , that sounds particularly traumatic for you. But good it was peaceful at the end.
I'm sure that at every step of that painful journey you made the decisions that seemed best for him at the time. If you'd had him euthanised sooner you'd almost certainly have a different set of regrets.

@Songbirdthatsings I'm so sorry for your loss! Please be at peace with yourself as you tried to save him. Do you have rl support?

Our boy was almost 7 you feel robbed don't you!

I've been beating myself up for giving ddog the odd bit of chocolate... didn't do him any harm thankfully.

Can you take some time this week to grieve? Sending virtual hugs 🫂

@ErrolTheDragon is absolutely right there too! I think no matter which way you would wonder what if..

So sorry for your loss @Songbirdthatsings I think we all know on this thread what your going through.

I’m only 4 days in since daisy left us and this grief is far worse than anything I’ve experienced with humans, she was (and is) my soul mate, best friend and side kick all rolled into one and at the moment I’m struggling with life without her, I know some people say dogs are just pets but she really was part of my family and we are all struggling with her loss, I’m just sorry you are going through it too 💔

Can I join, I had to say goodbye to my best boy Oscar the bichon yesterday . He had heart failure since August, the meds were doing great, but the past few days he declined, tests showed his other organs were failing.

The euthanasia at the vets was peaceful and done with such kindness in a room with a sofa etc. But the pain is unbearable, he was my life, slept on the bed, always by my side what ever I was doing, demanding belly rubs. Life seems pointless and empty now.

Sorry for everyone suffering too.

I’m so sorry @Zandra123 What a lovely picture of Oscar, it’s the most horrendous thing to go through, the death of a much loved companion, I’ve never known pain like it, it does ease slowly over time and you can look back with a smile rather than tears. but it’s a difficult journey for sure

Sorry songbird that sings and Sandra for your losses - it is really painful but we do all have an idea how you are feeling.

@Zandra123 so sorry for your loss. 6 weeks for me and I'm still in agony its gut wrenching. I hope you're doing ok x

Hi - sorry for my long absence - I have been or rather am in hospital. Will update and do a bit of replying later :)

@CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau I hope you're ok! I was worried you were in hospital. Look after yourself x

How's everyone's day been? I'm really trying to focus on the positives that we had a great few years together and just miss my boy and forget the guilt. I have to realise the decision we made was for our boy and not for us as were the ones left behind hurting but to know hes not suffering brings me some comfort. I hope everyone is doing ok and a hand hold to you all x

How is everyone today?

Still not great, when does it start to feel better and when does the pain and grief start to subside

@Ineedwinenow I wish I knew. A lot on here have said a few weeks they can look back and smile.

I've got a lot of other things going on with my ocd and my ds so it's hard for me to say where I'm at because losing ddog was the tip of a large iceberg for me.

How's your dh getting on? Are you getting rl support?

Yeah he’s being great but he seems to have bounced back and seems to be back to normal, he’s still talking about a puppy due to the silence ☹️

My parents are being great but mum has stage 4 cancer so her and dad are trying to help the best they can but it’s tough for them, they both loved Daisy though so they are struggling with that and the cancer

Friends are also being great but I just want Daisy back, nothing anyone can say or do will bring her back to me and I feel like I should be over it and over her as everyone else is

@Ineedwinenow sorry to hear about your mum too. My dh was the same. Back to work the next day. Although we've both agreed to never have another dog again as I can't go through this pain again.

Please keep talking on here. Were all here for and to support

Joining this thread because we said night night to our baby this morning. She was 11 and had been struggling with her breathing for a while but it seems had become immune to the steroids.

I feel sick and like I'm never going to stop crying. Everywhere I look is a reminder of her. I keep expecting her to come trotting round the corner for a biscuit 😭

@DollyPollyHolly I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending lots of hugs and kind wishes. Cry as much as you need and grieve. When you're ready, please share whatever you'd like to share with us. Your girl is at peace and is no longer suffering

so sorry for your loss @DollyPollyHolly - its so very very hard. I am 2 weeks on today. I was in pieces constantly that first week but time is healing.

I suffered terribly with guilt but I am starting to see things more clear that it was what was best for him and like your girl, in a much better place now and free of pain.

Sending love xx

@Dollypollyholly
I'm so sorry to read that. It's so incredibly hard, I'm on day 4.

Today with my daughter we went to the pet crem and waited while he was cremated, we wanted be be there with him, they had a little room, but then while we waited to bring him home we visited a little park and saw some ducks, had a hot chocolate in the cafe. It was quite nice. When we came home there were colourful rainbows reflecting on the wall, nothing changed in this house for years and I'd not seen before.

At the moment I don't know how I can ever be happy again, I miss him so much.

Just one photo of the rainbows they were everywhere

@Zandra123 wow thanks for sharing! Your boy is there with you! Not sure if you saw my post about the rainbow I saw?

How is everyone today?

@CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau @capabilityfrowns how are you both?

@Helplessandheartbroke I missed your rainbow post?. What happend? Xx