Heartache after saying goodbye- support thread

[Helplessandheartbroke]

I'm in agony after losing our boy 2.5 weeks ago. I had another thread deleted as it was too outing but realised quickly there's many of us suffering. Anyone want to join hands?

Its been quiet on here how is everyone? X

@Helplessandheartbroke sorry I don't tend to post much, but do try and keep up with the thread. Hope you are feeling okay!..... i am okay starting to feel a bit better this week, and then riddled with guilt for feeling better.

Just try to tell myself I am allowed to be happy and enjoy life and still grieve. I have had a lot of losses the last 2 years so I think I'm getting used to grieving process, words I never want to use again for sure.

I have my boy buried in the garden and everything I let my other dog out I say "go play with jack" and every morning and evening I blow him a kiss and every time I leave the house I send him a kiss n tell him bye so its kind of like pretending his still here..... had a lil plaque made for him too.

Hope you manage to have a nice weekend xx

Hey @miamiamia869 as you've probably read I've been beating myself up over every little thing. After speaking to some friends and family and lovely ladies on here I wasn't the only one making these little mistakes so I'm now trying to realise I'm human and were not perfect. I gave ddog a good life.

That's lovely Jack is in the garden. Glad you're feeling better! X

Exactly that @Helplessandheartbroke that dog could have ended up in differsnt hands and had a differsnt life. There are soo many dogs in the world who are dealt a very bad hand and it breaks my heart just thinking of it. You gave your dog a happy life with his best interest at heart right till the end. The minor little things you beat yourself up about is nothing to that dog. I do it too it's hard not too.

But you gave a dog a warm safe home and clearly so so so much love and that is truly all they want.

@miamiamia869 thank you. It's my ocd torturing me over daft things all the time but we did love him and he did have a happy life. I don't know why I do it to myself. I didn't feed him something wrong that resulted in him dying thankfully! Looking back at pics and videos keep reminding myself of all the fun and nice times we had together ❤ it's still hard though isn't it.

I hope you're having a nice weekend x

Yeah it's so so hard and like you so much harder with OCD ... God I fed My dog do many things I know I shouldn't. Obviously only tiny amounts and that in itself never ever caused any harm to ant of my dogs over the years. With my dog still here I will give him a bit of my choccy biscuit still. I mean they ain't no good for us either and if I let myself eat the whole pack he can have a bite or two and enjoy it with me.

Yeah I do the same with all the pics and look how he aged over the years. How his fscr went from mostly brown to practically all white with age bless him. My niece is always sending me little videos and pictures she took of him when they flash up om her phone as a memory.

It's hard sometimes but it's so much nicer to think of the happy times then the loss in itself.

I'm having a very nice weekend as it goes nice and chilled, catching up with friends and family. I hope you are too xx

@miamiamia869 I would give ddog a full biscuit! But need to remind myself it didn't harm him. I forgot you have ocd too so you can resonate with me and my stupid thoughts.

That sounds like a lovely weekend! I've been helping my great aunt this morning cleaning and bathing her. Going for a few drinks with 2 neighbours tonight.

Thanks for replying xx

I got something to remember my old boy and put it in the garden today. I thought I'd be fine as it had been inside the house for a while but I still had a good cry putting it out... Still need to put his ashes in the garden but I think the children will want to be involved with that and they're busy today.

@Danascully2 I hope you're ok. It's honestly heartbreaking beyond anything imaginable isn't it. How are you doing overall? X

Ok overall thank you, still really miss him though. I think I'm also finding it hard because I know rationally the sensible thing is probably not to commit to a cat (or possibly dog) just now and perhaps not for some time or not at all, but I find it hard thinking we might not have one again, and the house feels very empty. On the other hand I really don't want to rush into anything and then regret it.

Anyway, glad to hear you're getting out with your neighbours.

There is no concrete reason not to look into a dog or cat (I know they're very different, don't worry!) more just that I know it will be me doing all the hard work and I already have a lot going on. But on the other hand they are good for the well being aren't they and we could provide a good home.
I hope things get a bit easier for everyone.

@Danascully2 some people can have a house without a pet. Me personally were never interested but I choice our ddog and he was literally my baby until I had a baby then dh took over some things but I still fed and walked him.

You'll know when the times right but if you've got a lot going on don't pressure yourself. As much as I loved having ddog they do have needs and wants that when you're busy it can be tough.

I hope I don't get drunk and cry haha x

Yes I think I'll know if/when it's right. Good luck!

My grammar was shocking in that message I hope you understood it haha

Don't worry I knew what you meant :)

Hope you are all ok?
I'm never going to scatter Fleur's ashes
They will stay here where they belong....
In her home x

Definitely do what you feel is right with the ashes, there isn't a right or wrong way. I'm going to put them in the garden because he loved pottering about out there.

Definitely do what's right for you. I know people who didn't take the ashes as they couldn't bare it. Everyone has their own way x

We are holding on to Daisy’s ashes and I hope a member of our family will scatter mine, my husband’s and Daisy’s at the same time, we have decided that are all going together when the time comes 💔

Hey @Ineedwinenow that's exactly what I said I want to happen too. Scatter me with my boy. How are you getting on? I thought I was getting better but I'm feeling guilty constantly 😕 6 weeks today and I miss him so much!

I’m still crying although I didn’t wake up in tears this morning, today is day 4 since I lost her and I’ve managed to eat but I just keep crying after her, I’ve never known heartbreak like this, I’m broken.

Because we ran our own business we were lucky to spend all day everyday with her but it still wasn’t enough! Everyone keeps mentioning the word “puppy” so it seems like I’m the only one grieving and somehow I should be over it and ready for a new addition, but really part of me died on Wednesday with Daisy and I’ll never be fixed or ready

@Ineedwinenow I'm completely with you! I wfh except maybe 1 day a fortnight so my boy was always here with me. I can't work in the kitchen anymore because I look over and hes not there. I can't really give advice because I'm still very much suffering but the ladies on here have been a great comfort and I think talking helps. Sending hugs

We put the ashes in the garden today and although sad it was also quite nice. We buried most of them with his collar in a nice spot and the children helped scatter some in places he particularly liked. We did it today mainly because the ground isn't frozen and it wasn't raining but it was also a month ago today which seemed appropriate.
I know that wouldn't be right for everyone and it's not the end of the grieving but it felt right for us today. I will still get tearful when I look at that bit of the garden but it's also nice to have done something positive to remember him.
I recognize the working from home issue, it's really lonely not having him next to me.

@Danascully2 what a lovely little remembrance for him ❤ hope you're all ok.

Thank you, yes we are ok and I'm glad we did it. I will get some more plants to put there at some point although when he was here he was a terror for wrecking anything freshly planted...